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"You know I'm proud of how far you've come, Etho," Cleo says to him while they sit side by side on the floor of the basement space they use to get ready. She's already halfway into costume, completely green and totally rotten and freaky looking.
Etho rolls his eyes and continues adding gray and brown onto the white face paint already there. He's going for a porcelain doll look this year, and spent two weeks perfecting his technique for looking cracked and old. "What do you mean?" he asks skeptically. He can sense the underhanded compliment coming from a mile away.
"Two years ago you would have been begging me to do your makeup for you, and now look at you!" They sniffle theatrically. "My baby boy is all grown up."
"Oh shut up," Etho laughs. "We open in like fifteen minutes, let me concentrate."
This is Etho's fourth year working at the Haunted Mansion. Despite its cheesy name, it's a fairly well-run place with a big enough budget to go all out with the decoration and theming, especially on Halloween.
The crowd tonight is insane. The last person has hardly disappeared before Etho is faced with another victim.
Last year, he was a chainsaw murderer towards the end of the course, and he got to chase people down a hallway towards the exit. That was fun but exhausting, so this year he's doing something a little more subtle. It's perfect that he's right at the very front of the house this time. It's fun to lull people into a false sense of security.
He sits draped over a chair in the corner of a dark room dressed to look like a decrepit living room, crammed with the creepiest dolls they could find at the antique stores in the area. His makeup and costume are good enough that if he holds still, nobody can tell if he's a person or a prop in the dim light.
The thing is, they need to walk past him in order to get through the door to the next room. So he gets to enjoy watching people creep cautiously closer, trying to convince themselves that he's just another doll. And just when they're steeling themselves to dart for the door, he lurches out of his chair and onto the floor, just out of the way enough for them to run, screaming, past him.
A crowd of girls disappears through the doorway, shrieking horrified laughter. Etho has just enough time to pull himself back onto his chair and take a few deep breaths before the door opens again.
"It'll be fine, Bdubs! C'mon you're such a scaredy cat!" A man says from slightly outside the door.
This is a typical conversation. Some poor soul gets peer pressured into joining and has to be forced screaming and crying through the house by their friends who get to laugh at their terror. Etho thinks it's kind of mean, but some people do just need that push. He doesn't get paid enough to care, he gets paid to scare.
"Guys, I really don't want to—I told you I'm really not good with this. Guys!" The poor soul in question is shouting very loudly.
"Oh go on Bdubs! Are you a coward or something?"
"I'm not a coward—"
"Then prove it! Go in there first, huh? Go on!"
There's a long moment of silence. These idiots are holding up the line with their waffling in the doorway. Finally, the man named Bdubs grunts. "Fine! I'm going in! Calling me a coward, you'll see!"
The man steps through the door and his companions slam it shut behind him. "Bye! Have a great time!" one of them says, before suddenly this poor guy is stuck alone in a room with Etho.
Bdubs immediately drops his tough guy act. His face drops and he turns to open the door, but it's locked from this side. The only way out is through the house.
"Oh my god," he whispers. Slowly, he turns around to face the room again. Shoulders hiked up to his ears, biting his lip, eyes shining. It takes about three seconds before he spots Etho. "Oh fuck this."
Etho bites his tongue to keep himself from laughing.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Ohhh, I hate this. I hate this! Last time I ever let Scar convince me to do anything, that fucking scum." He points a finger aggressively at Etho. "I don't like you at all. I know you're a human in there, just freaking move already, huh?"
Etho considers the request and cocks his head in a quick little jerk.
"OH MY GOD. I take it back don't move don't fucking move don't fucking move! Oh my god, how am I supposed to get through this place?"
He's being loud and aggressive, nearly to the point of theatrics, but this man is clearly one single spook away from a panic attack.
Etho sighs. Poor guy. He carefully moves his hands up in surrender and even that makes Bdubs jump.
"I'm not gonna jump at you," he assures him. "That was pretty screwed up of your friends, man."
"Yeah. It—yeah it was. You promise you're not gonna scare me?"
"Nah, that would be mean. I'll walk you through the house if you want." Etho shrugs.
"You—yeah. Uh, yeah, if you—can you do that?" Bdubs' eyes light up, his shoulders fall, his voice is breathless. Every fiber of his being reeks of relief.
"Yeah it's all good, this room is pretty scary even if I'm not in it," Etho laughs. Bdubs does not. "I'm Etho, by the way."
"Bdubs," says Bdubs, and Etho doesn't tell him that he knew that already.
☠︎
Bdubs is pressed under his arm, against his side, face in his neck. It didn't start that way, but fear drew Bdubs closer and closer until he started clinging to Etho with every step.
Etho isn't generally the most touchy or affectionate person, but he has to acknowledge that doing this service for Bdubs feels good. It's nice to feel like a protector, like he has a purpose.
They're almost out of the house. Etho has halted as many scares as possible in their tracks, and the ones he couldn't stop, he pulled Bdubs through as quickly as possible. Now they're in a long, dark, empty hallway between Impulse's room and Joe's.
A chainsaw revs in the room behind them, and Bdubs whimpers. Etho runs his thumb against his shoulder in a way he hopes is comforting and murmurs, "You're okay. Come on, there's just two more rooms. You're doing good."
"Don't lie to me," Bdubs laughs wetly, pulling his face away from Etho's shoulder just enough to glare at him good naturedly.
"You are! Once last year, we had to shut down the whole house for thirty minutes and turn all the lights on because some idiot brought his daughters in and they were like six years old or something."
"Oh great, glad to know I'm doing better than a six year old girl," Bdubs grumbles. Etho giggles.
"This next room is Joe, he's got an alien thing going on this year I think. He's green, at least. I guess that doesn't have to be an alien thing…"
Bdubs snorts.
"What?" Etho's face feels hot.
"You're cute," Bdubs shrugs. Then he suddenly stiffens under Etho's arm like he didn't mean to say that.
"Says the scaredy cat," Etho teases. Bdubs relaxes again, as much as he can while he's still in a haunted house.
"Shut up," he gripes, but it seems like it's just in good fun.
When they get to the end of the hallway, Etho props the door open a little bit and calls into the gooey green light beyond, "Hey Joe, I have someone with me who doesn't want to be scared!" Then, he pushes the door open all the way and tugs Bdubs through.
"Oh hey Etho!" Joe calls from inside a bathtub full of green goop. His face is completely covered by a mask with big bug eyes and huge, sharp teeth, and his hands have long claws where they grip the bathtub like he's about to throw himself out at Etho and Bdubs. There's a puddle of green slime on the ground in front of him.
"Hi Joe," Etho manages. Everybody who works at the Haunted Mansion is very good at their job, but nobody else is ever doing it like Joe Hills. "This is Bdubs." He gestures to the man in question, who has peeked out from behind Etho's shoulder to gawk. "I'm walking him through the mansion."
"Cute! Hey Bdubs! You're in good hands, huh?" Joe waves with enough energy to send slime flying across the floor and walls.
"Uhh, yeah. Yeah, Etho's been taking care of me," Bdubs says awkwardly. Etho's ears feel hot all of a sudden.
"So, we're gonna… go," Etho explains, using his arm around Bdubs to corrall him towards the door.
"Be careful! I think Cleo waits by the door," Joe calls as they leave. Just as soon as Etho actually registers the words, a zombie nearly as tall as him is snarling in his face.
Etho yelps and nearly jumps out of his skin. Bdubs screams, and then hides his face in Etho's shoulder and cries.
"Ah, shit—Cleo, back up." Etho wraps both arms around Bdubs and tries to decide what to do with his arms. Pat his back? Yeah sure, that'll do.
"Etho?" Cleo retreats a few steps. Bdubs starts to wail. "Who is this? Is he okay?"
"He's scared so I'm walking him through," Etho rushes out. Cleo's mouth drops open.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She takes a few steps closer, her voice gentle, and lays a hand on Bdubs' back. His breath hitches around a sob. "You're okay. That was the last one! This is the last room, you're all done. Hey, what's your name?"
Bdubs mumbles something into Etho's shirt. Cleo glances at Etho with a question in her gaze and he fills in, "His name is Bdubs. His friends told them they were coming in too but then tricked him."
Cleo frowns. "That's so mean." Bdubs cries harder and nods aggressively against Etho's chest. They run their hand up and down his back for a few minutes, saying the perfect, gentle words that Bdubs needs to hear right now that Etho doesn't have the vocabulary for. All the while, Bdubs clings to Etho like a rock in a stormy ocean.
After a little while, Bdubs has recovered enough that his crying has turned to sniffling. He steps back from Etho a little, and grimaces at the wet patch left behind on his shirt.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"No need for that," Cleo assures him, and Etho nods firmly. He didn't mind. He actually really didn't mind. He feels the absence of Bdubs against him like a cold breeze. "Hey, I have an idea, Bdubs." Cleo is grinning. Dressed as she is, it's even scarier than normal. Etho is obsessed with them.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Can you peek out the door and tell me if your friends are waiting outside for you?"
Bdubs does as bid, carefully pulling the door open just a crack. "They're out there," he murmurs. "Probably ready to laugh at me for being such a baby."
"Etho, you have knee pads on, don't you?" Cleo asks. Bdubs lets the door fall and turns to face them quizzically, but Etho is starting to get the picture. A grin spreads across his face as well, until he and Cleo match.
"You guys are freaking me out," Bdubs calls, but Etho has seen him freaked out, and he's pretty sure Bdubs is just joking on this one.
"Hey, what if me and Etho went out there and scared the shit out of your friends for making you go through the mansion alone?" Cleo offers.
Bdubs face lights up like a forest fire. Oh, he's cute when he smiles—it's enormous, and his eyes are like magnets Etho doesn't want to resist the pull from. "Oh please."
"You heard the man." Etho rolls his neck and schools his expression to doll-like apathy with practiced ease. "Open the door for us, B."
It's beautiful. Bdubs' friends are standing right outside the exit, phones in hand, probably ready to take a picture of Bdubs' teary-eyed face the moment he exits. The last thing in the world they would ever expect would be that two of the scare actors from the mansion would come out that door hunting them, specifically. Cleo lurches out the door in a dead sprint and the group scatters into shrieking pieces. Etho walks more casually until he's at the perfect spot to fall to his knees right into one of the stragglers' paths, then crawls after them, tilting his head just-so for a broken doll appearance.
For one whole minute, Cleo and Etho keep the group of them screaming in terror. Etho sends one scrambling away right into Cleo's waiting arms, and then she sends them right back. It's like a chaotic game of ping pong. Above it all, Etho listens to Bdubs laugh.
"You deserved that, you know," Bdubs tells his extremely repentant friends after Etho and Cleo have had their fun. They stand on either side of the shorter man like body guards.
"I'm so sorry Bdubs, I'll never do it again!" One of them cries, hand clutching his heart like it might give out.
"You better not." Cleo crosses her arms over her chest. "Hey Bdubs, you know what, why don't you come hang out with us tonight?" they ask.
Etho's heart skips three beats. He'd been thinking about asking something like that all night, but he had no idea what to say, even if he could have found the confidence to say it. Like he does so often, Etho thanks the universe for giving him Cleo.
"Are you sure?" Bdubs' eyebrows have disappeared under his curls.
"Yeah! C'mon, ditch these guys for tonight and come hang with us! We're gonna watch a movie."
Bdubs hums a long, considering note, looking back and forth between his apologetic friends and his new companions. "As long as it isn't a horror movie."
Etho laughs. "Deal."