Work Text:
valdezinator (Registered User) left the following comment on first love late spring:
This is so out-of-character. I read this because people were recommending it and there are so few Valzhang fics but I guess people just have terrible taste in this fandom? It’s like you didn’t pay attention to the characters in the show at all. First of all, Leo is afraid of fire, that’s literally his whole character. So why make this whole thing around him being an arsonist? All your characters lack depth and they’re just vehicles for jokes instead of being taken seriously. The way you write this ship makes it obvious you only like Frank and it’s so amateurish. If you only like Frank just write him, don’t drag Leo into your lack of skill. Don’t get me started on the grammar mistakes and spelling. You shouldn’t even be writing fanfic if you don’t know how to spell ‘fluctuate’. Can you please rewatch the show and read an actual book before posting anything again? Or better yet, just never post again.
Look. Liona didn’t have the best life—she could admit that.
There were a lot of things she didn’t have. No family, no stable and good work, barely any money. When her old school counsellor had asked her what she planned on doing with her life, the answer had been Hope a college takes pity on me.
So, if you asked Liona, you couldn’t blame her for being a little chronically online.
The first time she watched Heroes of Olympus she had been thirteen. She was still living at her shitty uncle’s house back then, and on the rare occasion the TV was hers to use she found it on YouTube. And it changed her life.
She’d been obsessed ever since. She’d found Amino, Pinterest—which were truly uninteresting, uninspired experiences. Then she found Tumblr. And then she found Archive of our Own.
Well, she was always a genius. She liked stories. She always had a million opinions on how they should go. And though she loved Heroes of Olympus, really she did, true fans knew it wasn’t exactly the perfect series.
Liona got to work. Now she was a prolific fanwriter—not to toot her own horn or anything. Her favourite ship was a rarepair, her favourite characters criminally underrated, but she had her own little fanbase who saw her vision.
That was enough. Liona took pride in it, in every nice comment and every work posted.
Which was why the comment left on her most recent fic was pissing her off.
Out-of-character? Out-of-character?! Who did this loser think they were? Having the nerve to call her writing amateurish when it was clear they’d missed the point of the whole thing.
Plus, okay, sure, maybe she did like Frank. But so what? She shipped Valzhang for a reason. If she wanted to write just Frank, she’d do that. Her portrayal of Leo was ten times better than anyone else’s anyway, in this fandom that seemed so intent on massacring his character and woobifying him.
And grammar mistakes? A part of her was a little insecure, but for the most part she was just pissed off. This commenter was no different from the critical teachers and the jeering classmates asking Liona if she could even read as her dyslexia made her struggle through a paragraph. The ones who thought that it made her lesser than the rest of them, just because she couldn’t decipher a bunch of squiggles as fast as they could.
In the back of her mind curiosity reared its head. Valzhang fans weren’t a common sight in the fandom, so she clicked on the username. What kind of stuff did this guy like, if not Liona’s fics?
The second the page loaded through her shitty wifi, Liona’s eyes were blasted by Explicit warnings. She scrolled through valdezinator’s work and laughed in disbelief.
Porn. This user was a porn writer and they thought they somehow had the authority to lecture Liona on a “lack of depth”?
Enraged, she saw that the most recent fic had almost twice the amount of kudos as Liona’s latest one. For what? Just because people in this fandom were horny?
This person thought they were better than Liona. She could sense the pretentiousness in their voice, in their profile, everything about them.
Incensed, she opened the comment box and starts clacking away on her keyboard, not even bothering with her text-to-speech function.
zhanglover9000 (Registered User) replied to your comment on first love late spring:
bruh if you dont like it dont read it. i use texttospeech bcus i have dyslexia so just tell me the mistakes nicely dipshit insted of being an annoying grammar nazi. stop bitching in my gd comments
Liona thought that was the end. Days went by, and she forgot about valdezinator. One hater in a sea of many. When she’d posted it on Twitter clowning the user, all of her followers had laughed right along with her.
She came up with an idea for her new fic in the middle of art class while staring at her botched painting. Frank and Leo as roommates in college who hated each other, up until they had to babysit a child together.
Where did the child come from? No matter. Liona would figure it out. She already had a few jokes in mind, one of them involving a hammer and a car.
But to her dismay, when she opened her laptop to start writing, she saw another notification in her inbox from the user.
valdezinator
You must be really immature if you think sexual content equals to no character depth. I can tell you haven’t read any of my fics (which is fine because if you did you’d probably get flashbanged by what these characters are ACTUALLY like). Writers like you who constantly put them in different AUs and twist their characters just for a cheap joke are the worst, especially Leo’s. I may be the NSFW writer but you’re the one whose writing is vulgar and shallow.
But I guess I can’t expect decency from the person who sent their Twitter followers after me to bash me in my comment section.
Sorry for the grammar thing. I didn’t know.
…Huh, she’d gotten them to apologise about criticizing her grammar. That was nice, at least. But what made her snort was the user trying to act like a victim—if you don’t want to get hate for writing stupid shit, don’t write stupid shit, she thought.
It satisfied her that this random in her comments was getting some payback. Maybe she should give them something in return. You know, eye for an eye. Maybe read one of their fics and leave a hate comment of her own. After all, the person had gone ahead and assumed that reading their fics would change her life or some bullshit—she highly doubted that was true.
Couldn’t hurt, could it? She didn’t write them, but she had no problem with Explicit fics.
So she scrolled to valdezinator’s profile and clicked the first fic on top, updated just a week before. All the descriptions and tags were vague in equal measure, so it didn’t matter trying to choose anyway.
Thirty minutes later Liona was in disbelief. She stared at her shitty laptop’s screen like it was an alien. “What the fuck is this?” She laughed to herself, aloud, as if valdezinator would hear and answer.
No explanation could justify this, however.
Fancy words stacked onto fancy words, as if the author was trying to take an English exam instead of writing goddamn fanfiction. The characterizations were pretentious, the dialogue unintelligible (Frank would never talk like that!), and somehow, somehow—Liona did not think this was possible—the sex wasn’t even sexy!
With her dyslexia, she had a hard time reading other people’s fics as is. But this felt like dragging herself over miles of shattered glass.
What kind of arthouse bullshit was this? Now she understood why the user spoke like they were trying to be some intimidating, vintage filmmaker—they were one, or at least some awful fic-equivalent of one.
Liona couldn’t help but laugh. She really couldn’t help it. Sure, it annoyed her, but more than that it was hilarious that this writer was getting all worked up over someone else’s fics when their own sucked ass too. They weren’t better. They weren’t some top-tier writer.
They were just some pretentious asshole dragging down the Leo Valdez/Frank Zhang Ao3 tag.
A weight lifted off her chest, Liona got to typing.
zhanglover9000 (Registered User) replied to your comment on first love late spring:
ok then, i just read ur fic, the post-canon 1. its ass and im not just talking abt leos! funny u talk about ooc-ness and bias when u clearly like leo more than frank too. and i prefer AUs and fun plots instead of whatever is going on in urs, is there even a story?? fuck all happens in it, whats even the point? lol stop writing and start watching the show with ur eyes and not ur dick
It seemed as if Liona had made a new fan. With no reply to her reply, Liona assumed it was over. After all, she had no reason to be an ass if valdezinator stopped bothering her.
But it seemed like they hadn’t had enough yet.
Once she posted her new fic, it was received well with a few comments here and there. She knew the idea had been genius.
That is, until the fun police arrived.
valdezinator
Another uninspired trope. Can you make them do something interesting? Please? I’m literally begging you to stop putting out this stuff so I don’t have to see it in the Valzhang tag.
Liona didn’t even let it get to her this time. She just sniffed and replied:
zhanglover9000
stay mad
valdezinator was on her everyday now, in her inbox, on her Twitter. Sometimes she responded. Sometimes she just watched them stew in their rage.
Because it was funny.
In fact, it seemed like they had made their Twitter profile solely to hate on Liona. It was a blank layout with no tweets save for hating on Liona’s, and the only thing in their bio was their Ao3 profile link and an 18+ emoji. Honestly, it was kind of flattering.
It wasn’t like they were the only two Valzhang writers in the world, even if their kind was few and far between and it made them desperate. But valdezinator was obsessed with Liona and Liona only.
They didn’t comment on other fics in the tag. They weren’t really in the community like Liona was. No, they were just there, Liona’s biggest hater, ready to criticize everything she did.
Were they subscribed? Watching their email for every notification when Liona posted a new chapter, a new fic? Liona wasn’t sure how to check, but she would bet a whole hundred dollars on it.
Somewhere along the way she got a little endeared to all the comments. They still criticized her and her work, but they were no longer overtly mean. There was even a sense of familiarity to them.
valdezinator would reference Liona’s past works, and even remembered the stuff about her personal life she added in the author’s notes or in her tweets.
‘Since you got your paycheck yesterday, I was hoping that would motivate you to write a story worth reading. But pointless trash again. Thank you, zhanglover9000,’ one of them read. Liona replied to that one telling valdezinator they could pay her too, to kiss her ass.
Yeah, they had a good thing going.
That paycheck actually had motivated her, thank you very much. Two hours after dropping her new one-shot (about Frank and Leo’s wedding day going wrong in a million different ways—with an appropriately fluffy ending, of course), a few notifications popped up in her inbox.
There was one comment from a loyal fan, telling her it was equal parts cute and hilarious. The second one…
Well, Liona first thought it was valdezinator again. But she immediately recognised that wasn’t the case. valdezinator would never be so juvenile or emotional or… cringe with their words. And they were just about as passionate about Valzhang as Liona was. This was… no.
Man, she thought she’d gotten rid of all of them already! Why even read fics of ships you don’t like?!
FlameoLeo
omg I’m on the weird side of ao3 again 😭😭 sorry but eww… no hate but it would be a better story if it was Calypso instead of Frank!!!
Before Liona could even move to tell FlameoLeo (what a lame username) to fuck off, she realised there was already a reply to the comment. Not an addition from the original commenter. Not even from another fan or friend of Liona’s. It was valdezinator.
valdezinator
zhanglover9000 can write her bad fics about any ship she wants. If you want Caleo, read Caleo. Stop whining about her fic or go kill yourself.
Liona gaped at the screen. valdezinator, defending her? Sure, in a kind of backhanded way, and really they were just defending the ship that they also liked, but… they were defending her nonetheless. With such harsh language, too.
She grinned, knocking her knees together. Her desk chair rolled noisily as she swooned around her room. The sensible voice in the back of her brain yelled at her for being so taken by someone who had insulted her and condescended down to her and took every chance they had to try to assert their superiority to her—
But she couldn’t help it. It was kind of sweet.
zhanglover9000
what they said! thank u valdezinator <3
The Valzhang tag had been really dry recently.
Of course, it wasn’t like it was usually a buffet, and there were still her own fics to keep it up. But there used to be some one-shots, some longfics where they were a side couple and Liona could Ctrl+F for crumbs.
But lately, nothing. Nothing except herself! Because it was exam season, was that it? Liona rolled onto her back on her bed, her cracked phone screen showing the same unchanging page over and over again even as she refreshed.
Then she rolled over again and screamed into her pillow.
“Why,” she sobbed, punching the pillow, “why why why why—!”
This was the worst. Over the course of her life Liona had watched her mother die, had been abused and disowned by her other ‘family’, and dropped out of high school to work three jobs. This was worse than all of those things.
“Fuck my life,” she groaned into the fabric. Work had been even worse than usual, and she had kept herself sane by thinking of all the Valzhang fics she would read when she got home, but they were in a bad, bad drought.
Her own fics were okay, but they were hers. They could only sustain her for so long. She wanted something new, something fresh, something different.
Out of the corner of her eye the page refreshed. And it changed.
Liona jerked upright, scrambling for her phone with such desperation she nearly knocked it off the bed. A new upload! A new upload that was—
easy way out by valdezinator
The Heroes of Olympus (Cartoon 20XX)
No Archive Warnings Apply, Leo Valdez/Frank Zhang, Post-Canon, Attempt at Humor
Humans are predisposed to make things easier for themselves, after all.
Of all writers! Why did it have to be them? Their little stunt in Liona’s comment section the other day didn’t quite change the fact that their writing was near incomprehensible. What shit luck.
The rating gave her pause, though. It was Teen-rated, like most of Liona’s own fics were, instead of Mature or Explicit like valdezinator’s usually were. Not only that, but the tags were much more lighthearted than usual.
Attempt at humor… well, at least they seemed to know it wasn’t exactly their forte. Maybe they’d taken Liona’s wise advice to heart. It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?
Hesitantly, Liona clicked on the fic. Her feet swung back and forth on her cramped bed as she read through. The story was about a misunderstanding between the two. That at least was in-character—Frank and Leo really were a pair of idiots who would do this kind of thing…
It definitely seemed like valdezinator was trying something different. The writing style was way different. Shorter, and not as much of a slog to read (though the fancy vocabulary didn’t seem to be going anywhere) (did they just think like this? In their inner thoughts?) and straight to the point.
Their dialogue was punchier. And way funnier, too. Liona didn’t know valdezinator could joke like this, but the banter flowed so smoothly.
Fuck. It was good. It was so good Liona caught herself smiling into her pillow, scolding herself internally and schooling it into a neutral expression.
Now she was pissed off. If this damn hater could write like this all along, why weren’t they?!
She left a comment. She didn’t even care that she looked like just as much of a stalker as they were, commenting 30 minutes after the fic was posted.
zhanglover9000
tryin smth different?? wowww where have u been hiding this from me valdezinator, this 1 is actually funny and cute and has a story!!
Though she hated herself for it, Liona reread the fic twice. It was because they were in a drought, she reasoned. There was nothing else to read. Still she couldn’t deny she was impressed.
Her third reread was going well when she got a Twitter notification. A private message.
From @vz1984. A.k.a, the account that relentlessly hated on Liona, replied to her tweets with vitriol, complained every time she posted a new story. Her biggest fan and hater.
vz1984: Of course you liked that one.
vz1984: An anon came into my inbox complaining about me always writing explicit content, and calling me a pervert, so I thought I’d try something different.
Something strange knotted itself in Liona’s stomach. She’d liked the fic, but… she also felt kind of bad, reading that.
ValzhangWarrior: u shouldnt write it if u dont wanna
ValzhangWarrior: i mean it was wayyy better than ur other fics but if you want to write pretentious bad smut, who cares
ValzhangWarrior: anon is an asshole
The typing bubble popped up. They’d never done this before, talked one-on-one. Sure, they had long back-and-forth comment threads on fics, but those were still public. Like arguing at the park.
But this, this felt like they were in the bedroom together, just talking. Almost like they were friends.
vz1984: No shit. I’ve been a porn writer for 3 years. I don’t need you to tell me that.
Liona laughed; the word porn caught her off-guard. She thought valdezinator might have called it something fancy or artsy like ‘erotica’.
ValzhangWarrior: jeez touchy ok
At the same time the other sent,
vz1984: Sorry. I’m glad you agree.
Well, that was a bit of a mood swing, wasn’t it?
vz1984: I’m not surprised you enjoyed it. Honestly, I tried copying your way of writing
vz1984: Nowhere near as shallow or pointless, though
Rude.
Still, they’d tried to imitate Liona, huh? She had kind of suspected, but had it been a little cocky to presume? It made her squeal silently into her pillow nonetheless.
ValzhangWarrior: no wonder i liked it
ValzhangWarrior: no 1 can do it like me tho
vz1984: Keep telling yourself that.
Oh, they had jokes. Liona was ashamed of the small laugh that slipped out of her lips. She shut off her phone and lay on her bed, staring up at her ceiling with the paint flaking off.
Well, she supposed they were friends now. To some extent. Friends who loved the same ship but hated each other’s stories and thought of each other as dickheads with the worst writing style known to man. That was a thing, she supposed.
Yeah, she decided. She didn’t really care if it was delusional. valdezinator was her friend.
Whether they liked it or not.
ValzhangWarrior: this ones for u
ValzhangWarrior: archiveofourown.org/works/73723956
Somehow, the response was instantaneous. Liona smirked to herself. Obsessed.
vz1984: WTF is that?
vz1984: Don’t send me viruses.
ValzhangWarrior: are u fcking dumb cant u see its an ao3 link
vz1984: Oh, to your new fic, is it?
vz1984: I’m already reading it.
Liona curled up in her desk chair, rolling her eyes. Of course they already were, they probably trawled their email inbox every five seconds waiting for Liona to update. Before she could respond, though, the second text was deleted. Seriously, the bubble vanished before her very eyes.
She scoffed. Did valdezinator think she was stupid?
ValzhangWarrior: I SAW DAT
The next reply was infuriatingly innocent.
vz1984: Saw what?
Her teeth gnashed together in annoyance. But in the next second, she calmed down and leaned back, chair creaking. Honestly, it was funny. Cute even.
I know you’re obsessed with me, she thought. They didn’t have to try so hard to hide it.
Plus, they were a small fandom. Them two and a gaggle of other Valzhang shippers who didn’t put out much content themselves. It was a little pathetic, but Liona couldn’t blame them for being a little insane, especially since they seemed to be as online as she was (outside of work). This thing they had going on was fun, she could admit that for herself.
vz1984: I’ll read the stupid fic.
ValzhangWarrior: enjoy!!!!!!!
She’d written this one over the span of the week. She even worked on it at her job, discreetly pulling out her phone when no one was in the store to type away at her keyboard.
It was hard, trying to copy valdezinator’s writing style. Liona wasn’t dumb, thank you very much, and she liked reading when she had the time (real books, not just fanfiction!), but she didn’t have the fancy-pants education that valdezinator was probably getting. Her dyslexia made it even harder in that regard.
But still, she had tried. And the finished product had been… well, whatever. At least there was a plot that happened in it. That was more than she could say for the other author’s stories.
vz1984: Done
ValzhangWarrior: damn! u quick
vz1984: You’re dyslexic, so I suppose you wouldn’t know about that.
vz1984: Sorry, was that mean? I wasn’t trying to be,,,
For some reason, Liona felt inclined to believe that. She’d had plenty of people mock her and degrade her for her dyslexia before; this didn’t feel the same. Besides, why get mad at something that was kind of true?
ValzhangWarrior: nah, u right
ValzhangWarrior: but admit it, its good rite? the fic
ValzhangWarrior: say Liona, ur a genius & im sorry for doubting ur skillz
vz1984: Ew.
Liona laughed out loud. It welled up from her heart to her throat. Someone banged on her wall and told her to shut up.
vz1984: I like the concept.
vz1984: Leo as Eddie and Frank as Venom. It’s pretty inspired, I’ll admit
ValzhangWarrior: exactly, ty
ValzhangWarrior: i was thinking abt how their connection is all abt trust…
vz1984: Yeah. It’s fitting.
vz1984: I can tell you tried to write like me, right?
ValzhangWarrior: oops, caught xd
As if she hadn’t entered the conversation declaring that the fic was ‘for you’.Now that she was thinking about it, it was kind of embarrassing. She refused to acknowledge the feeling, ignored the burning heat of her cheeks.
It was cool. She was nonchalant about it. And she’d never cared what valdezinator thought, so why start now?
vz1984: It was a lame attempt. Don’t do it.
vz1984: I mean… the fic was still enjoyable. I liked the interactions, and what you were trying to say with the ‘myth’ symbolism.
vz1984: But you’re forcing connections where there aren’t any and trying too hard to be your idea of what I sound like. I definitely don’t write like a Victorian era poet. It doesn’t do anything to add depth to your usual shit writing.
“Yeah, right,” Liona snorted to nobody in particular. Or maybe her grumpy neighbour.
vz1984: I almost prefer your modus operandi of meaningless slop
ValzhangWarrior: almoooosttt??
Maybe she had valdezinator at a loss. The typing bubble appeared and vanished and reappeared several times; she almost thought she was in for a whole lecture.
But when the message finally sent, it was actually quite short.
vz1984: Don’t write like me. Write like you.
They texted more often now. Sometimes they talked about Frank and Leo. Sometimes they talked about anything at all.
At work, too, Liona was barely able to keep her grubby fingers off her phone. Usually she could control herself at least a little bit, for fear of her boss catching her and giving her an earful and another threat to fire her, but now it was like being an addict trying to wean herself off crack.
ValzhangWarrior: just realised idk ur name even
ValzhangWarrior: wat is it?
vz1984: Frankie.
vz1984: And I already know everything about you
ValzhangWarrior: ok weirdo
She said that, but in real life she was having trouble hiding her smile. Frankie. It was a nice name. Even if it was kind of weird to finally put a name to the words.
A lady walked up to the counter to ask a question with a shirt in her hands and Liona had to resist the temptation to snap, No, we do not have the fucking blouse in red and yellow specifically.
Instead she put on her best customer service voice and said it extremely politely. As soon as the woman walked away Liona whipped out her phone again.
vz1984: It’s not my fault you have your info plastered across your profile!
vz1984: I guess I should make things even. I’m a girl. I’m 20. I’m Canadian. I’m in university studying Political Science right now.
ValzhangWarrior: poli sci??
ValzhangWarrior: i for sure thought u were some english lit snob
vz1984: Ha. I wish.
Liona tilted her head, considering this. So Frankie was Canadian… she supposed it made sense, looking back on it. Her fics had weird terms for certain objects sometimes, and Liona had long figured out she wasn’t American.
And she was only a year older than Liona. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn’t that. Subconsciously she had thought of valdezinator as someone much older. But she was twenty. So young.
ValzhangWarrior: been writing smut since u were 17??
vz1984: So what?
vz1984: Don’t try to search for my old stuff please. I deleted it all.
ValzhangWarrior: valzhang stuff?
vz1984: Back then? Sometimes. Not always. I still write Shin SKK and Celesgiri sometimes.
ValzhangWarrior: u shouldnt have deleted them
As she texted it, Liona was struck by how true it was. She’d been reading more of Frankie’s fics lately. It wasn’t like they’d gotten any better, but more that Liona had grown an acquired taste.
She still hated how barely anything happened in the fics except for the characters moping around and talking, but she thought she kind of saw the aesthetic that Frankie was going for. It was so classic, beautiful in its own way.
God, Liona couldn’t believe she was thinking this.
Her previous tab of one of Frankie’s fics was still open. It was about Frank and Leo hunting down a monster in the Camp Jupiter woods, which Frankie had somehow turned into something utterly unexciting.
Yet despite how much of a drag it was, Liona couldn’t stop thinking about their campfire pillow talk… the heart between the two of them.
Sometimes Frankie wrote stuff that really hit Liona dead-on. Maybe that was why she wanted to see her older stuff, too, see how she wrote when she’d been seventeen and then eighteen and then Liona’s age. How it all evolved.
Was that weird? Yeah, that was weird.
vz1984: Yeah. Valzhang tag is desolate enough as it is.
vz1984: Well, we both do our service, don’t we?
ValzhangWarrior: so u admit my fics are hella good
vz1984: No.
Liona laughed.
When the next customer came up to her with another stupid question, this time, she didn’t even have to fake her smile.
ValzhangWarrior: did u read this 1
ValzhangWarrior: archiveofourown.org/works/173869420
vz1984: Yes. It’s horrible
ValzhangWarrior: THANK GOD U AGREE
ValzhangWarrior: who wrote this brahH???
vz1984: Trash.
vz1984: I did not know this was possible, Liona, but it’s worse than yours.
vz1984: At least with you I can tell we watched the same show
ValzhangWarrior: iiiii will take dat as a compliment
vz1984: You do that.
ValzhangWarrior: i wanna die after reading dat, i hhateee when ppl treat frank like a fckin baby
vz1984: And I absolutely hate it when people treat Leo like he’s dumb.
vz1984: I’m not gonna leave a hate comment, they can’t be saved. I just hope they never post again.
ValzhangWarrior: so u meannn
ValzhangWarrior: when u leave me hate comments its bcs u think i have potential
vz1984: Your dialogue is good. And you have a creative sense when it comes to coming up with different idea. Even if they end up as empty nonsense.
ValzhangWarrior: 😻
vz1984: Don’t let it get to your head.
ValzhangWarrior: tooooo lateee
It was paycheck day for Liona from her third job, which also happened to be the one where she worked as a 24-hours-available plumber. This meant she came home dragging her feet at two in the morning, utterly exhausted.
When she pulled out her phone, she found it was out of battery. She collapsed into her desk chair and opened up her laptop.
She had about a bajillion tabs open, as usual, so she decided to close all of them and start from scratch. That was necessary sometimes, to keep her laptop from killing itself.
Ao3 loaded up. Liona thought she should probably shower and change—she still smelled thoroughly of sewer—but her body refused to move.
All throughout the day she kept imagining the Valzhang fics she would read when she got home, and the text conversations she would have with Frankie. Now she felt like doing neither of those things.
Sluggishly, she clicked through the tags a bit. Someone had updated their fic with Frank/Leo as a side couple, but she doubted they were even in the new chapter. Ao3 really needed to add a setting that separated side ships and main ships in a fic…
Oh. Frankie had put out something new.
It was another Explicit. To be honest, Liona wasn’t sure if she could muster up the energy to read something horny right now.
So she checked Twitter instead. Her own stench was starting to get to her, so she—bones creaking and all—got off her ass to move to the bathroom.
vz1984: I saw a cat playing with a teddy bear outside today, and I thought of Frank and Leo. How pathetic is that?
Liona laughed a little bit. There was another text hours later after that one.
vz1984: Don’t read my new fic. It might be too perverted for your delicate young eyes.
vz1984: Just kidding. Do whatever you want
Then another few hours passed before Frankie had texted again.
vz1984: Did you get logged out of Twitter again, you idiot?
How clingy.
But Liona pretty much couldn’t blame her. They texted every damn day. Sometimes they had long conversations; sometimes it was just brief exchanges trashing the other’s fics (affectionately) (well, it was affectionate on Liona’s part) or petty complaining about crosstagging on Tumblr.
No matter what it was, they never went so long without messaging. Liona could barely remember when this became so normal for them.
This was the same person spouting hate in her inbox and comments. Was she some kind of masochist?
ValzhangWarrior: srry. long day work
She stripped off her uniform and stood under the shower until the glass fogged up. Once she was dressed in her home shirt and shorts, Frankie had already responded.
vz1984: Sorry to hear that.
vz1984: Seems like you’re always working.
ValzhangWarrior: 3 jobs :p
Frankie was silent for a while after that. Liona wasn’t sure what the timezone difference was between Texas and Canada, but it had to have been pretty late for her too, so she shrugged it off.
Even if deep down, she was a little disappointed.
Liona climbed into bed. She traced random shapes into her blanket, already thinking of her next fic idea. Frank and Leo going to a farmer’s market, Frank and Leo meeting at a theme park, Frank and Leo as knights to a Princess Hazel in a fantasy setting…
She fell asleep like that, daydreaming about a thousand different situations they could be in.
That, and Frankie.
When she woke up the next day, someone had donated one thousand dollars through her Ko-fi.
ValzhangWarrior: wtf is wrong w u
vz1984: I just woke up. Did you read my fic? There’s a lot wrong with me, that’s why I write porn
ValzhangWarrior: U KNOW WHAT U DID
ValzhangWarrior: DUDE
vz1984: I have a lecture in twelve minutes can this wait
ValzhangWarrior: 1000 DOLLARSSS
ValzhangWarrior: ONE AND THEN THREE ZEROS
ValzhangWarrior: YOU BITCH
Minutes dragged by. Liona was almost late for work, but she still bent over her phone, thumbs shivering against the keyboard.
ValzhangWarrior: and i know it waz u bcs of that lame ass note u sent with it
Seriously, who else would gift a person one-zero-zero-zero dollars alongside a message calling their fics “bad, derivative, shallow, and overall juvenile”?
But despite that, I want you to keep writing them.
Liona felt her cheeks flush all over again when she thought about it. What the fuck was wrong with Frankie? Donating so much money like it was nothing. Because she felt sorry for Liona, maybe. Because her life was just so damn pitiful.
Well, let Frankie be the damn idiot then. If she wanted to throw all her money away acting all high and mighty.
ValzhangWarrior: im not giving any of the fckng money back
ValzhangWarrior: and im not doing shit for u
ValzhangWarrior: IF U THINK 1000 DOLLARS WILL GET U THIS HOT BOD U ARE MISTAKEN
vz1984: I don’t want your fucking nudes you neanderthal
She hated this, hated not knowing how to even feel. If Frankie wanted her to be grateful and grovelling well then she was shit out of luck.
vz1984: And of course I don’t want you to give it back, what would be the point of giving it to you? Do you ever use your brain?
Frankie talking as if this were so simple, as if Liona was the idiot in the situation, was scrambling said brain, so no, maybe she wasn’t fucking using it.
ValzhangWarrior: why
ValzhangWarrior: literally why
vz1984: Because I can
vz1984: …Nobody should have to work 3 jobs just to survive, that’s stupid
vz1984: And even if you can’t cut a few hours, at least you can have a little more luxuries now.
vz1984: Shouldn’t you be saying thank you or something?
Who did Frankie think she was? And whatever she was playing at, why was it kind of working on Liona?
She wasn’t even asking for anything in return. Liona thought for sure that she would have, that there was another shoe to drop, some requirement or condition for this.
ValzhangWarrior: i dont get u
The reply was heartachingly simple. Liona’s breath turned into mist in the cold air, but her chest was burning up from the inside.
vz1984: I like you, and I want you to keep writing.
Liona reread the words over and over again until her eyes stung.
They weren’t anything new. Not really. People said it to her in her comments, in her askbox, in her Strawpage… and she appreciated it every time. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept her going. She’d read a nice comment and resolve to wake up the next day, even if it felt like the hardest thing in the world.
Somehow this felt more special than any of that. Intimate. Like Frankie had clawed Liona’s chest right on open and went straight for her heart.
vz1984: Oh and Liona
ValzhangWarrior: wat
vz1984: Can you be quiet? I’m in a lecture. Thanks.
the stronger word by zhanglover9000 for valdezinator
The Heroes of Olympus (Cartoon 20XX)
Major Character Death, Leo Valdez/Frank Zhang, Leo Valdez, Frank Zhang, Piper Mclean, Hurt/Comfort, POV Outsider, Angst, Canon Divergence, Frank is fucking dead
He says he’s fine, but Piper knows he’s a liar. She sees him—at night, wandering the woods, staring up into the sky. Waiting.
For something.
Notes:
For valdezinator.
a gift for a loser. i know you like outsider pov and character death, probably cause ur sick and twisted, so there
if u leave a hate comment on this fic i will bomb canada
valdezinator
A gift from you. I’m so flattered. I don’t want to be bombed so I’ll say it’s good (SOS).
Just kidding, I really liked it. The Leo/Piper interactions were sweet and painful at the same time. I concede that dialogue and having flow between two characters talking is an area where you have SOME skill. Frank dying is amazing… I guess you do know me after all. The scenes where Leo was reminiscing on when they were together is a 10/10.
My main complaint is that Leo should have killed himself at the end so that he could be with Frank forever. Joking! A little bit.
valzhangwarrior.straw.page
send me ur bullshit
hey whats going on between you and that nsfw writer valdezinator… ??? i thought they were hating on you
liona is fujoshing out @ValzhangWarrior
mind ur own business. u dont get it
ㄴvz1984 @vz1984
Exactly. Own that fraud.
ㄴliona is fujoshing out @ValzhangWarrior
u shut the hell up too
A few nights after that Liona went to The Cheesecake Factory and ordered her weight in pasta and cake. She snapped a picture of the various dishes, then of herself eating them, to send to Frankie.
Frankie, who had given Liona her Discord, citing that messaging on Twitter was beginning to get annoying. Liona didn’t tell her she didn’t have a Discord; instead she raced to make a new account just to talk to Frankie.
So the first messages of their chat together, and Liona’s first chat overall, was her posed up in front of a fuck ton of food. What a way to open it, she thought, pleased.
vz1984
Fuckkkkk
I wish I could taste that.
ValzhangWarrior
me or the food ;D
It was a joke. It was a fucking joke.
vz1984
Both
Liona choked on her jambalaya pasta.
Okay. Okay, yeah, whatever. She sipped on her lemonade, hoping it would cool the heat in her cheeks. Before she could get her hands back on her phone, maybe to cuss Frankie out (that was the option she was leaning toward), another text appeared.
vz1984
I’ve never had Cheesecake Factory. I’m jealous.
She warred with herself on whether or not to let Frankie get away with this. Ultimately she decided to play along and ignore it because—well, what was there to say? It was a joke, obviously. That was how friends joked, and they were friends.
It wasn’t like Frankie actually wanted her that way. Just the thought of it was so ridiculous it made Liona calm down.
Why was she overreacting so much? Jeez.
ValzhangWarrior
they dont have it in 🍁?
vz1984
They do. In Ontario
Where I am not
I’m so jealous…
ValzhangWarrior
sux
i dont eat it often either
but some idiot sent me $1000 a few days ago
vz1984
Wowwww
They sound like a real loser
Liona muffled her laugh with another bite of pasta. It was so good, it nearly melted on her tongue. She wasn’t lying—this kind of restaurant was a rare luxury for her.
Way back when, she remembered her mother taking her to the Cheesecake Factory on particularly good nights. They’d pick out a different flavour of cake to try each time. They always said they would complete their collection. Try every single damn cake on the menu eventually.
They never actually got the chance. Before it all went to shit.
Now, Liona resolved, she could eat it all for the both of them.
By the end of the night, her stomach felt packed to the brim with cake. Her body ached not to move, so Liona ragdolled into her bed, feeling utterly satisfied.
And that was barely even a fraction of what Frankie had sent her. Of course, she would save it, but she supposed there would be more nights like this. Part of her felt gross about it, being someone’s charity project.
The other part of her really liked expensive food.
vz1984
By the way, I’ve never seen what you look like before
Kind of weird to put a face to the name.
ValzhangWarrior
sory to disappoint :p
vz1984
Disappoint??
Come on
I think you’re pretty
Fuck off. Liona had no response to that. She threw her phone as far away from herself as possible and went to bed, her cheeks still hot.
They continued on like this. Somehow it was like they had gotten even closer, if that was even possible. Liona updated Frankie on every single annoying customer or client she met at work. Frankie sent Liona pictures of her incomprehensible law assignments.
Something had changed, a little bit. It wasn’t that big of a deal, Liona knew that, but it pricked at her nonetheless. The few sly, flirtatious comments that Frankie would drop sometimes, like it was no big deal. The compliments hidden under the surface of her usual fic critiques. That one time Frankie had asked for Liona’s address and she’d opened the door a week later to a scale figure of Jinx from Arcane.
And frankly (heh, frankly), she hated it.
Frankie was… she was messing with her. Making her feel all awkward and weird about all this when she knew there was nothing Liona could do to return the favour.
There was no other explanation. Frankie was a rich student from a rich family trying to lord her superiority over Liona, like everyone else tried to. Liona bet that was why she used to take so much pleasure in leaving hate comments on her fics for no reason.
The more she thought about it, the more the resentment grew, until it boiled over in her head, bleeding into their interactions together.
…But she was weak. She didn’t want to end things.
Because Frankie was cool and nice and fun to talk to, still, despite everything. Liona liked annoying her and talking about Valzhang with her and whenever she walked to work or the grocery store and she saw something interesting, her first instinct was still to tell Frankie.
Fuck. She didn’t know what to do anymore.
Her phone beeped. She looked down at their Discord chat, where she’d made the mistake of sending a photo of her lunch to Frankie where her laptop was visible in the background. The other girl had not responded very well to all the cracks over the screen.
vz1984
11 yrs?
How can a laptop even last that long??
Is this why you write so badly?
Liona huffed. A sense of unease winded around her neck.
ValzhangWarrior
it works js fine
i only use it 4 writing usually
and i wud write the exact same if i had the best laptop in the world. believe it bby
vz1984
There’s no saving you…
Don’t you want a new one?
Nausea rushed up her throat. She didn’t think Frankie would be that insane, to buy her a brand-new laptop, but she didn’t not think that either.
There was another reason she used this laptop still after all this time, even though she knew she could afford a new one if she saved up. Why she looked at the cracks and the faded old stickers on it with such fondness.
ValzhangWarrior
nah
ive had this 1 since um
b4 my mom passed
so its kinda important to me ig
vz1984
Oh, I see. That makes sense, I was just wondering
Like hell that was all you were doing, Liona thought. She would bet those thousand dollars that the girl had been scheming again. In a way that was kind of endearing.
Well, Liona hated it when it felt like Frankie was looking down on her, but she loved everything else about her. Whenever she wasn’t dwelling on that, things were great. Why did it have to be like this? Why was it that Liona couldn’t help but think of what Frankie must be thinking on the other side, thousands of miles away?
She scuffed her shoe against the ground, thinking. Maybe she was being uncharitable. Maybe she should take things at face-value—Occam’s Razor and all that.
But somehow that was scarier.
vz1984
I watched 10 Things I Hate About You yesterday.
Honestly I didn’t really enjoy it, but when I think about it in Valzhang terms…
ValzhangWarrior
IKR
except 4 kat is a feminist and frank n leo r kinda misogynists
vz1984
#KillThemBoth
ValzhangWarrior
exactly
Nobody Liona knew in real life was a weirdo like her. No one at her job. No one at school before she dropped out. What few friends she had that she rarely talked to, none of them would understand.
And she was lonely. She hadn’t even realised it until Frankie.
vz1984
Maybe I should write an AU about it. That’s kind of your style, though
Actually, I’ve been working on that countryside AU…
Do you want to call tonight?
ValzhangWarrior
not sure i hav time
mayb
vz1984
Alright.
And she didn’t want any of it to end.
zhanglover9000 on Chapter 1
wtf is wrong with u. im breaking into ur house and stealing ur shit
vz1984
I saw your comment. Thank you very much. You can take whatever
ValzhangWarrior
why did frank eat the gd flowers
wtf does that even mean
i cannot fcking understand u
vz1984
Lol
ValzhangWarrior
im done with u
AND HIM!
BOTH OF U!
“By the way,” a voice crackled through Liona’s shitty speaker. They called when they could, and even through said shitty speaker, Liona could tell Frankie had a nice voice. Deep, smooth. She’d expressed insecurity over it before, that it wasn’t girly enough. Liona thought it was crazy to be ashamed of having a voice like rich chocolate.
Not that she would tell Frankie that. Or anything.
Fuck, of course she had a nice voice. She was so good at making everything better and thus, everything worse.
“If you thought the first chapter was confusing,” she continued, “you might not like the second one. Or the third… or any one after that.”
“Why do I even read your fics?” Liona whined. She knew why: she was desperate for content. They both were. That was literally how they’d met. But still!
“You love me,” Frankie deadpanned, “and my fics.”
Her heart caught in her throat at that first part, like she’d been caught in a lie. She wished Frankie wouldn’t say stuff like that. It almost made getting out of her own comeback difficult, swallowing around the feeling.
“Impossible. I don’t even know what your fics are about.”
“They’re about Leo being sad and gay. What’s so difficult to understand?”
Liona crossed her arms, even though she knew logically that Frankie couldn’t see it. “And my fics are about Frank being in literally every situation known to man, what’s difficult to understand about that?”
“I’m pretty sure some of your fics are so bizarre they aren’t even known to man.”
“And that’s why you love them, don’t you, Frankie?”
“I do not! I—I do not!”
ValzhangWarrior
new valzhanger alert omg
vz animatic???? hello???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
vz1984
WHERE?
vz1984
Fuck you for fucking real
ValzhangWarrior
LMFAOOOOOOOO
zhanglover9000 on Chapter 3
can these bastards plz just communicate i want to kill myself
It was settled. She was going to talk to Frankie.
A month. It had been a month, give or take a few days, since the Ko-fi donation. Outwardly nothing was wrong, but Liona’s feelings only grew stormier day by day.
So she would bite the bullet. She didn’t want to lose the only friend she had, and if she said nothing that was sure to happen. Might as well take the path with the 50/50 survival rate.
ValzhangWarrior
hey if ur free rn can we call
Cut the bullshit out. Are you in love with me or are you treating me like some kind of pet?
Simple words, really. Yet no matter the response she got, she would be at a loss. That, she knew more than anything.
Did she want to date Frankie?
Was she gay? Sure, she wrote about gay dudes all the time. But that didn’t make her a lesbian. In fact, most fujoshis like that were straight women, weren’t they? She wrote about men because she liked men. Right? Besides, Liona had always thought of herself as straight. Not desirable to any man, that was for sure, but straight nonetheless.
Worst of all she didn’t even know if Frankie was gay, either. They’d never broached the subject. Maybe they should have. Fuck.
The thought of dating Frankie wasn’t… so bad, though. It was weird, because she didn’t typically think about dating other girls, but—honestly, what was the difference at this point anyway? They talked to each other every day, they called, they knew everything about each other. Was that dating? As much as dating could be, with someone you met over the Internet?
Plus, Frankie was, in plain terms, pretty hot. (That wasn’t gay; it wasn’t gay to acknowledge another girl’s objective appearance). Nice jet black hair, toned, full body, piercing eyes, the works. Not a bad pick to be with, if she had to say.
vz1984
Sure. That’s good actually. I wanted to talk to you too.
A second later, her phone buzzed with a Discord call. Liona curled up in her desk chair and rolled over to her laptop, accepting it there instead. Her body was knotted with nerves.
“Hey,” Frankie said, static in her voice. “Okay, uh, I’ll let you go first.”
Yeah, that was for the better. Whatever Frankie had to say couldn’t possibly be more important than Liona’s thing, which, now that she was talking to Frankie, felt super pathetic and lame all of a sudden.
Why did she want to do this again—? Couldn’t they just talk like usual and—
No, Liona scolded herself, don’t be a pussy now, Vasquez.
“You need to…” She got out through her teeth. Of course she was fucking up already. “All this… stupid shit you’re saying, and all the gifts, and…”
She was barely talking like a human being. Liona forced herself to take a deep breath, letting her shoulders relax and summoning all the false confidence she had when she usually talked to Frankie. Typically about lighter topics than this.
“If you’ve got the hots for me,” she said, all in one breath, “then just fucking say so. Okay? Either that or stop treating me like I’m your pet that you can dump money and presents on like I’m some—charity case!”
It was off-script, but once she had started, she couldn’t help herself. All the words that had lodged themselves in their throat, never to see the light of day, came spilling out.
Tears stung Liona’s eyes. Oh. It was painfully obvious now how much it had been bothering her. Stupid her, stupid Frankie.
“Oh.” Speaking of Frankie, the asshole seemed to be at a loss for words. Liona hoped she hadn’t ruined everything or made a fool out of herself, but the silence wasn’t doing her any favours.
“Say something,” she bit out.
“Liona,” Frankie breathed, “I’m sorry.”
Fuck. That was it then. Liona stared at the ground and tried not to cry like a bitch. If Frankie wanted to feel that way, then fine, it was for the better. Liona hadn’t liked her that much anyway. Just some loser commenting hate on her fics looking to feel better about herself because she didn’t have anything else going on in her life, that was what she was, so—
“I didn’t know I was so obvious.”
Huh?
“Huh?” Liona said intelligently.
“I didn’t… shit. I just.” Frankie could get flustered sometimes, adorably so, but Liona had never heard her grasping at her words like this. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I’m really sorry. I think—I think I messed up.”
Yeah, no shit! Liona yelled in her head. Outside of the confines of her mind all she could muster up was, “You… like me?”
Frankie cussed again, sounding miserable and awkward. “Yeah,” she admitted. If kicked puppies in the rain had human voices, Liona imagined they might have sounded like Frankie right now. “I do. I really like you.”
Just as she predicted, Liona didn’t know what to say.
Thinking about it was one thing. Actually hearing it was another.
“I know it’s stupid,” Frankie laughed—the kind of laugh someone did not when anything was funny, but because they needed to let tension out somehow. “I was your biggest hater, and I… well, actually, I still am. Jesus.”
Despite herself, Liona grinned at that. “Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be confessing your love right now?”
Shuffling from the other side. Frankie sighed loudly into the mic. “You never change,” she said tiredly. Fondly.
“Of course not.”
Why would I change if you liked me as I am?
“Even despite that, though. I think you’re really cool. You’re pretty and funny and smart. Is that what you want to hear? Me blowing up your ego?” Frankie sighed again. “Because it’s true. That’s what I think of you. Hooray for you.
And I know you don’t feel the same way,” she continued. “But I promise I’m not just, throwing money at you for… it’s because I genuinely care about you, alright? Because I want you to have a good life. Is that so bad?”
“Who said I don’t feel the same way?” Liona blurted out.
There was a moment of silence. Liona had to peer over where her hands were covering her eyes to check if Frankie had left the call.
“What?”
“What?” Liona said, flustered. “Fuck, I don’t know! I don’t know, alright!”
Laughter came in through the speaker. This time it felt so genuine, it made Liona’s heart feel a little lighter just listening to it.
“Look, you don’t have to force it,” Frankie said. “We can just stay friends, it doesn’t really matter. I’ll stop it with the gifts if it makes you uncomfortable, and we can go on like normal. I actually don’t think we can afford to lose another citizen of the Valzhang community.”
“No!” Liona slammed her fist on her table, narrowly missing her laptop. She didn’t even know what she was saying. Maybe that was how she knew it was real.
(That was good. That was good, she should put that in her next fic.)
“Liona—”
“You know, I don’t know if I’m gay.” Liona just resorted to saying everything she thought out loud, which was an absolutely horrible strategy, but if she didn’t use it she would stay silent forever. “But I like you a lot. And I, I rely on you. So if you wanna try this thing, then fuck it, why not?”
Frankie sounded nervous when she next spoke. “I don’t think this is the kind of thing you should joke about.”
“I’m not joking,” Liona said, “fuck it, dude, let’s date. Come on.”
She didn’t even know what dating entailed in this case. If Frankie were here—if Frankie were here… Liona might grab her shirt and try to kiss her (she hadn’t kissed anyone in so long, she wasn’t sure if she knew how to anymore; but she would try). At least then she would know for sure.
But as it was they were separated by this stupid screen.
After a minute of quiet, Frankie said, “Liona. The thing I wanted to tell you. I signed up for an internship in Texas.”
“Why on earth?” Was Liona’s first reaction. “Why the fuck would you want to come to Texas?”
“...Stupid question.”
The words didn’t need to be said. To see you.
“I planned on asking you to meet up, and we could hang out. If you wanted that.” Frankie’s voice was trembling. “And then I was going to confess. But someone ruined my plans.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she chuckled.
“And I do,” Liona said, stomach jittery, “want that, I mean. To see you.”
Just the thought was making butterflies burst all up in her tummy. Okay, so maybe she was a little gay. So what? If there was anyone to be a lesbo for, Frankie wasn’t so bad.
“Alright. We can… try. See what it’s like. Then you can decide whether we want to do this.” Frankie paused. “I’ll bring Frank and Leo. We can go places and take photos with them.”
She was talking about her stupid custom omanjuus that she had of Frank and Leo. They were really adorable and Liona had had to refrain herself many times from asking Frankie for a set too, knowing Frankie would put the order in as soon as the words left her mouth.
Liona imagined the Cheesecake Factory, with Frank and Leo propped up on her plates, and Frankie sitting across from her, beaming.
It sounded really fucking nice.
“I’ll go to Texas and then I’ll ask you to be my girlfriend,” Frankie said, like she was summoning up the confidence herself. “And when the time comes, you will say yes. Hopefully.”
Liona laughed.
“Okay,” she said. “Sounds like a plan.”
to reach out and touch by valdezinator for zhanglover9000
The Heroes of Olympus (Cartoon 20XX)
No Archive Warnings Apply, Leo Valdez/Frank Zhang, Online Relationship, Online Dating, Social Media, Developing Relationship, Character Study
What Frank despised most of all was the screen between them.
Notes:
For zhanglover9000.
Written for my girlfriend.
I love you.