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A Late Night Chat

Summary:

There's something in those late nights, sitting on the sofa, chewing on cheap pizza with your friend by your side, that makes people…honest. There's something in the quiet of the night, occasionally interrupted by a fight or some music, in the way the streets are empty and the city looks like a ghost of itself, that erases the desire to keep secrets. There's something deeper, a connection forming when sharing that mundane moment.

OR: Waterboy stays after the party of episode 6 and he and Robert have a chat. Robert tries to guess who Waterboy is in love with and...yeah. you guys know, it's what ur thinking.

Notes:

guess we doing dispatch yaoi now

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:


Everyone had left already. Why wouldn't they? The whole Chase and Invisigal discussion had really fucked up the mood. But Waterboy, of course, had decided to stay. To clean, he had said, but both of them knew there was something else. Despite everything, he had initially applied for the janitor position; ending up on the Z-Team had been a surprise, so helping Robert clean the mess everyone had left was the minimum he could do.

Once they finished, they both sat on the sofa. Old, worn-out sofa, probably with relics that had been lost amongst the cushions, eating the leftovers. Pizza, mostly. They had ordered too much. At first, the conversation had been harmless, just chatting about work, friends, family, only in Herm's case, and how Robert was glad the other man had begun integrating in the Z-Team, even forming blooming friendships with both Malévola and Punch Up. Then, as the night went on, the topic began to shift.

There's something in those late nights, sitting on the sofa, chewing on cheap pizza with your friend by your side, that makes people…honest. There's something in the quiet of the night, occasionally interrupted by a fight or some music, in the way the streets are empty and the city looks like a ghost of itself, that erases the desire to keep secrets. There's something deeper, a connection forming when sharing that mundane moment.

"This pizza sucks." Robert started, still chewing it. "I guess it has a fair price, after all."

"I think it's great." Waterboy continued, taking another enthusiastic bite. "My grandma doesn't order it very often."

"Hey, you aren't stuttering!" Robert turned to Waterboy, excited. Finally, some progress with his stutter—

"O-oh, y-you're r-right!"

He deflated, but still smiled faintly. "Nevermind. It's progress, nonetheless."

Quiet again. It was quite comfortable, actually. Talking wasn't necessary here. Whereas Robert didn't mind the silence, eating his pizza slice and staring at Beef, going to do the same thing for a stray one on the floor, Waterboy did. He was shifting in his seat, looking everywhere in the room, mainly at the dog, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I, w-well, I have to thank you, actually. I still can't believe you chose me for the team."

"It's nothing, really. I knew you had it in you." Robert put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.

"I hope I do," Waterboy muttered under his breath, a hint of doubt under it.

"Beef, leave that. You can't eat that."

"Beef!"

Waterboy stayed silent, hands on his lap, rigid as a board, as he saw Robert standing up to pull Beef away from the cardboard pizza box he was currently trying to eat. Once he sat back, he turned to Waterboy.

"So, have you ever been in love?" Robert suddenly asked.

Waterboy went fully red, jumping back. "W-what? Where did that come from?!" He yelped.

"I don't know, it just seemed like a nice icebreaker! Have you?" He defended himself, leaning against his own side of the sofa, arms crossed.

"H-have you?" Waterboy shot back, straightening in his seat. "I-I won't answer if you don't—"

"A couple of times, actually." He began without hesitation. "First one, dumb high school crush. Didn't work out; we were just kids after all. We stayed in contact. For a while, then we lost it. And the second time…" He shut up. Probably unrequited, after all.

Waterboy glanced everywhere in the room, except for Robert. He didn't dare to do so. Good God, why? Make Robert, the Robert Robertson, ask him that? He choked with his own words before finally answering "…Yes…" with a strained voice.

" And who was it?" Robert pushed further.

"C-can we—C-can we switch topics? Not that I don't like you talking—I really like it—But the topic- It's-I'ts pretty recent, and—well, not recent, j-just…" Too much, he was saying too much…

Robert raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of the cheap alcohol Punch Up had brought. Fair, he and the others still owed him money from the drinks. Not the best, not the worst. An accurate description of his team, maybe, except they were much more expensive than those bottles. And far better. "Ohh, recent? Is it someone I know?"

"Maybe…" Too much, too much, he needed to shut up.

"Is it someone from the Z-Team?" Jelousy wasn't what Robert was feeling, of course, it wasn't, but he had a suspicion and was determined to prove it.

"Maybe…" Same stupid answer, which Robert interpreted as a yes.

"So…It's Flambae, right?" He tilted his head, pretty sure he was right.

"W-what?" Waterboy flushed. "N-no! He—I'm sure he's a—good guy or-or something b-but…"

Robert looked at the ceiling, thinking. He was so sure it was Flambae. With their whole water/fire dynamic, they had some chemistry, even when their last interaction had been Waterboy humiliating Flambae publicly. "Oh, wait, maybe you don't swing that way. Malevola?"

"S-she's, well, L-Lady M-Malevola after all, b-but no…" He sputtered, fidgeting with his goggles. "I would-I- I would s-say I don't really have a preference…"

"Fitting," Robert said, before going back to thinking. "Hm…Sonar? You two look like you could get along. The half man, half bat, all freak?"

"N-No, not him, either. He's nice, b-but—the bat part…"

Robert cut in. "Fuck…Punch Up, maybe?" He looked like he had made a discovery, snapping his fingers and pointing at him with a single one. "Are you into older guys? Not judging, of course. But are you? Because I'm pretty sure Punch is 43 or so."

Based on that assumption, Waterboy almost jumped out of the sofa, gritting his teeth, embarrassed. He's fully red and sweating more than usual. Not water, sweat. This man's body functions were funky. "N-no! I-I see him as m-more of a f-father…!" He yelped, hiding his face in his hands.

"People are into that, too." He threw that in casually, before going back to staring at the ceiling. "Shit, I'm out of ideas. Who am I missing…" He snapped his fingers again. "Invisigal. You're into her bullying you. Or Blond Blazer, maybe? I have eyes; I can understand the appeal. Or…Golem?" He threw the last name to see if it rang a bell, but Waterboy just shook his head enthusiastically.

"It's s-someone else…" He muttered.

"Is it me?" Out of ideas, he joked, instantly following it with a cackle. He was convinced he was the funniest man ever.

But Herm didn't laugh. He doesn't even deny it, just stares at him in silence, peeking from his fingers.

"Wait. Is it me?" He asked again, incorporating. He could feel his pulse jumping up. He knew he was…kind of good-looking, if not, Invisigal wouldn't have been staring at his ass the entire time and the Z-Team wouldn't enjoy making so many sex jokes about him, but…As much as he hadn't considered Waterboy out of his league, no offense, he really didn't think Waterboy could have been in love with him.

"…" Herm didn't answer. He just curled further and looked away, not trusting himself to speak without dropping something he didn't want Robert to know. "…Maybe." Same, good old, dumb answer.

Robert's smirk disappeared, replaced by a somewhat shocked look as he felt his pulse rise and his face redden. His shoulders dropped. "Oh."

"I don't know w-when it happened." Herm began, looking at the floor. "When you came and fixed my tie, I was so nervous, and you didn't seem to mind…And then you were so kind to me when everyone was making fun of me and bullying me…" He broke into a trembling smile. "You trusted me. And then you chose me for the Z-Team! Over Phenomenaman, the face of the company!" He hesitated again before fully facing Robert. "You saw something in me no one had ever seen. Something I didn't even know I had." He whispered with a tiny, sheepish voice.

Robert blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Fuck. How was he meant to respond to that? He wasn't the best with feelings, much less if those feelings came from someone so sweet. For being a grown ass man, he's pretty sure Herm has grown up in a pretty nice, stable place. It was clear he didn't really know how fucked up the world was. Robert was also pretty sure he hadn't even killed anyone yet. But instead of saying that, he chuckled to himself and looked up at Herm. The height difference was definitely something. "Do you want to kiss me, Waterboy? Herm, Hermy, however you want to be called?" Robert asked, just to be sure. Fuck, that had been one of the most romantic love confessions he had ever heard. The bar was pretty low, yes, but that didn't change that the other man was really opening up his feelings.

"Yes," Herm answered, with surprising confidence. It disappeared immediately when Robert smirked.

"So? Go for it." Robert encouraged, leaning closer, almost enjoying how much this was affecting the other man. Waterboy looked away, face even redder than before, if that was humanly possible. If not…just really, really red, like steam might come out of his face.

"I- I- I-I-I don't know, I—" Waterboy choked with his own words, whatever he was trying to say fading into incoherent mumbles as he moved away from Robert, leaning against the sofa.

Robert raised an eyebrow, amused, but not going further. If the boy didn't want to do anything, then he wouldn't push. Well, maybe a little, because Waterboy was charming in his complete lack of charm. "Do you want to do this, or not. We're not even fucking—"yet, he said in his mind."—it's just a kiss. Do you want this?" He repeated.

Herm gulped, looking everywhere except at Robert, then locking their eyes together. "I—" He shut himself up and just nodded somewhat sheepishly. "I would— I would like to kiss you, yes." He mutters.

Robert chuckled, crawling closer to where he was sitting. "Then, what's the matter?"

"Well, I…It's my first kiss…" He broke eye contact again, not daring to hold his gaze.

"Oh, I assumed that."

Herm covered his face with his hands, peeking through his fingers. "Is it really that obvious…?" He mumbled.

"Kind of? Anyways. Just follow my lead." With that, he put Herm's hands out of his face and pulled off his glasses. "Sorry, you look ridiculous in those."

"I—I know. I should ask for a redesign of my suit, shouldn't I?"

"You should. But now—"

Surprisingly, it was Waterboy who broke the distance and closed the gap by grabbing him by the back of his neck with two hands. Surprising, coming from Waterboy, but not unwelcome.

The kiss was awkward at first, but he couldn't complain. Wet, of course, with Waterboy's powers it would be, but not entirely awful for being his first kiss. Desperate, messy, and full of pent-up feelings, Waterboy's hands ran through his body, not really knowing where to put them. When they separated, Robert was looking pretty composed, but, god, Waterboy was fully gone, panting like an animal and fully flushed.

"So, how was your first kiss?" Robert asks, feeling pretty satisfied with how head over heels Waterboy was for him. It was cute, really cute. He wouldn't mind repeating that kiss, and luckily for him, Waterboy didn't seem to mind either.

"I'd like to do it again. I-If that's—If that's okay with you, of course—I don't want t-to push you into-into doing something you don't want—" Before he can continue rambling, Robert cuts him with another kiss, this time taking control.

"Stop overthinking." He cut, kissing him a third time. It was all beginning to develop into a makeout session, but he couldn't complain, really. Pushing further and further, Robert ended up sitting in Waterboy's lap.

Waterboy was extremely nervous. You could just take a look at him and tell he was a virgin, but he just grabbed Robert's hips and let them stay there, almost awkwardly. "Is this what you've seen in pornos?" Robert teased.

"I-No! I mean—Maybe? No, no, n-no, forget I said that."

"Hey, it's okay. You're a grown ass man, of course you jerk off."

"F-fine, just—Don't tell my grandma."

"I won't."

They both laugh,

"D-Don't you have a b-bed?"

"Oh, you want to go a step further?" Robert taunted, before the bravado disappeared and he realised he, in fact, did not have a bed. "But, it might sound weird, but no. I have a sofa, though. I bet you've seen tons of pornos on sofas."

"R-Robert!" Waterboy mumbles, already leaving a damp spot on his sofa, matching the one forming in his own pants.

"Okay, okay, I'll shut up… Now, where do we start…"




Notes:

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