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"Seriously, Lorelai, did you need to buy all that stuff in that huge bag? He is a dog, he doesn't know the difference between regular soap and that crap you bought." Luke talked with his usual grumpiness.
"It's a dog shampoo, Luke, like for dogs! And it's fig scented, he loves the smell of fig." Lorelai replied with a chipper tone.
"How would you know that? There has never been any fig in this house." Luke asked, rolling his eyes. "You never eat fruit and I don’t like figs."
Lorelai answered him with an even more exaggerated eye roll. "Remember those cookies Sookie made with fig? Paul Anka kept coming to smell them." She explained. "Also not liking figs is reason enough for you to not eat them? The man who forces me to eat salad once in a week says that?"
"That salad is the only healthy thing that goes to your stomach. It took us twelve years to get married. I'd like to make it last before you drop dead." His dry sarcasm made Lorelai giggle.
She took the purple dog shampoo bottle out of the plastic bag but the bag was still full enough that it could stand on their king-sized bed on its own, even though the sheets were wrinkled.
"What else is in there?" Luke asked as he looked from the bathroom door, his face white from the shaving soap.
Lorelai reached to the bag again and pulled a smaller, transparent bag filled with red, yellow and blue plastic balls. She raised it to the air to show Luke, grinning.
"Seriously? What are you even going to do with them?" Luke asked with a disapproving shake of his head before turning back to face the mirror and continue shaving.
Lorelai stood up and walked towards him. She stood right behind him to be able to have eye contact with him through the mirror. "We'll fill the bathtub with water and then put these in so that he could play with these!"
Her excitement shone in her eyes, making Luke smile even though he tried not to. "You know that crazy dog of yours is scared of water and soap and the bathroom itself, right? Adding more stuff will only make him go even crazier." Luke tried to explain as he tried to shave his beard without ruining his sideburn. His arm twisted and he let out a small hiss through his teeth. He lowered his arm, his distress growing.
"Give me that," Lorelai said with a smirk as she reached for the single-use razor blade. Their wedding bands softly clicked together, making both of them smile for a second.
Luke frowned. "Why do I not feel okay with letting you do this?" He asked even though he let her take the razor blade from him.
"Oh, relax. It's not like shaving is something only guys have to do." She nudged his stomach with her elbow. "Put soap on your face again." She ordered with a more serious tone.
"I know why you are doing this. You are no subtle, you know." Luke said as he turned to take the soap.
She shrugged and moved in front of him, pushed herself up, her hands pressing to the sink to sit down on it, between two faucets. She pulled him to herself, grabbing his shoulders, her smile matching his as he placed his hands on her waist, not seeming to care her reasons for this anymore.
She tilted her head to one side as she shaved his beard delicately, not harming his sideburn.
He watched her work with a soft smile on his face. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips when she was done before jumping off the sink, throwing the razor blade to the trash bin and washing her hands.
"You are gonna help me bathe Paul Anka though, right?" She asked as she dried her hands with the hand towel.
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Luke answered before pulling the towel from her and drying his hands.
Lorelai jumped on her feet and clapped her hands with the excitement of a child.
She ran to the bed, grabbed the bag and came back to the bathroom. "Fill the bathtub." She said, focusing on the things she pulled from the bag.
First, she set the fig scented shampoo on the sink. Next came the plastic dog with its ugly black eyes and terrifyingly big mouth. She also pulled out a blue dog towel with ears, detailed in soft pink.
She tore the package of plastic balls and poured it all to the bathtub Luke filled. "You better take off your fancy shirt, babe." She warned before leaving to bring Paul Anka.
Luke sighed as he took off his green flannel shirt, which he had been wearing for more than fifteen years.
It took Lorelai more than five minutes to come back with Paul Anka in her arms. "Someone needs to tell this little guy that you gotta tell the person you are playing with before you start playing hide and seek."
"Where was he this time? He was not in the nursery, right?"
"Nope. Under Rory's desk. Though it just made me realize we have to clean her room once in a while. It was all dusty under there." She put Paul Anka to the bathroom floor before going back to the bedroom to take off her t-shirt.
"I have to clean her room, you mean." Luke pointed out.
"Oh, that's so sweet of you to offer Luke. I accept!" Lorelai answered him as she walked back into the bathroom after changing into her black swimsuit with turquoise trim and baby blue swim shorts.
She climbed on the bathtub and sat down on her knees, her legs wet. Luke handed Paul Anka over to her and pulled away quickly to run away from Paul Anka splashing water on him.
Lorelai pressed a kiss to her dog's head before lowering him to the water.
The minute his paws touched the water he started to bark and move his paws with fear. "Hey, hey Paul Anka. It's okay baby. Calm down." Lorelai tried to soothe him with her baby voice.
Her talking didn’t seem to affect him, she soon realized as she felt even her hair getting wet.
"Okay, hold him still." She heard Luke's voice.
He poured the dog shampoo to his palm and walked to the bathtub, ready to start washing Paul Anka with it.
Lorelai tightened her grip on the trembling dog. "Okay, Simba. I need you to keep your paws to yourself for this." She murmured.
Luke started to shampoo him as Paul Anka's shivering seemed to lessen.
"Have you seen your new duck friend here, buddy?" Lorelai asked before taking the duck with one of her hands and showing it to the soaked dog she was holding.
Paul Anka, fortunately, seemed to like his new duck friend. Luke kept on with shampooing, trying to get it to everywhere which was a hard thing with how furry Paul Anka was.
"You enjoy the bath now, kiddo, aren't you?" Lorelai asked with a smile. "It's a good thing, I'll say. Now you don't need to trade your voice to have skinny legs and be able to get off of the water." Her voice was dead serious in a way that made Luke roll his eyes for the thousandth time that day.
"No more barking would be a good outcome of this whole thing." He talked gruffly.
Lorelai looked at him with a fake shocked expression. "Take that back!" She exhaled loudly as she shut Paul Anka's ears off with her hands. "He didn’t mean that, baby. Daddy loves you." She told Paul Anka dramatically.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not this dog's father?"
Lorelai ignored him as she kept talking to Paul Anka about how much his daddy loved him.
Luke opened his mouth to object again but stopped when he realized he was in their bathroom, shampooing the crazy dog which was sitting in their bathtub with his just as crazy wife who was soaked almost as much as the dog was. He didn’t have many arguments, did he?
After rinsing the shampoo off with water, Luke took the dog from her and covered him with the towel Lorelai bought that day.
"I think I'm going to take a bath after cleaning it here. You go, dry him." She informed him as she got out off the bathtub and started to clean the bathroom. "And make me some coffee, will you? I'm decaffeinated."
Luke nodded as he walked towards their bed with the dog in his arms. He placed him on the bed before walking to Lorelai's makeup table to pick up her dark red hair dryer and plugged it in to the socket closest to the bed.
He stood there for a second as he looked around.
Paul Anka shivering with a towel smaller than him on him on their bed, bathroom door open and the floor of it covered with the colorful balls and water, the sound of water coming from in there with the sound of his wife humming a song under her breath.
If being this dog's dad meant he'd get this life, Luke thought he was ready to go to the court or civil registry or whatever it was, sign the papers and adopt him for real.