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Kev’s monitor beeps a steady rhythm. Aaron stares at it, then looks down at Robert who’s watching it as if it’s the most important thing to him. It hurts, seeing Robert this affected by Kev’s state. He’s learned a lot about love these past few months; mostly, he’s seen how it can exist separately from Robert’s love of Aaron. Robert cares about Kev without Aaron being a part of it and maybe that’s what hurts the most, that there’s a part of Robert that Aaron will never know.
“How is he?” Aaron asks. It’s been just over a day since his heart attack and Aaron knows how much this hurts Robert and even with everything that has happened, he knows Robert needs to be here.
Robert glances over his shoulder, shrugs. “We won’t know until he wakes up.”
Aaron nods, shuffles further inside the room. “You been here all night?”
Robert nods and wipes his face on his palm. “Is it morning already?”
“Yeah.” Aaron puts a hand on his knee, squeezes. “Do you need anything? Coffee, some food?”
Robert stretches his legs out in front of him and winces. “I… I should go and get something, yeah. I haven’t moved in hours.”
“Go,” Aaron says. “Stretch your legs. I’ll stay with him.”
“Thank you.” Robert smiles and presses a kiss to Aaron’s forehead before walking out of the room.
There’s only the beeping to contend with. It fills the room and Aaron stares at the foot of the hospital bed because it’s better than staring at the person lying in it. He has never been fond of Kev; the jealousy of knowing that Kev kept Robert company during his years in prison, that Kev knows a part of Robert that Aaron never will, makes his stomach turn. A part of him, the ugly part that makes him so mad that he can barely keep from punching Kev’s lights out, hates sitting here, keeping silent vigil for a man who has taken so much from him. Another part of him, the part that holds Robert as he has nightmares and has noticed the way Robert sometimes disappears inside himself, makes him look up at Kev and sigh.
“I… I know I’ll never get this out while you’re awake, but I need to say it,” Aaron says to the room. “I want to thank you.”
Kev’s chest rises and falls, his eyes remain closed, and the beeping is the only response Aaron gets. He leans forward, threads his hands together.
“I know you did a lot for Robert while he was inside. You did what I couldn’t… you took care of him.”
He’s also done a lot of messy stuff; threatening violence, bringing a gun to that house-warming, lying about being ill. All of that makes Aaron want to throttle him but the part of him that sees the way prison changed Robert can’t help but look at the man on the bed and be grateful.
“I think you were good to him, in there. You kept him alive,” Aaron says and the weight of the words is suddenly a weight on his chest. It makes his eyes blur because, if nothing else, Kev protected him when Aaron couldn’t. “You’re a mess and you’ve caused so much pain but you made it possible for me to get him back.” He lets out a slow breath. “Thank you.”
He feels a hand on his shoulder, startling him out of his reverie. Robert stands behind him, eyes wet with unshed tears and a small smile on his face. “Do you mean that?”
Aaron gets up, wraps Robert in a hug and presses his nose to the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Robert’s here, he’s his, and Aaron takes a moment to take it in. A few years ago, this would have been impossible and a small part of the reason why it is, is lying on that bed.
“I mean it, Robert. I might hate him but I’m so grateful he helped you in there.”
Robert squeezes him closer and when they break apart, Robert’s crying.
“I thought you went out to get something,” Aaron says.
“I wanted to know if I could bring something for you.”
Aaron nods and can’t help smile. “A coffee’d be nice. I’ll stay here, keep him company. He deserves that much, after everything.”
Robert nods and presses a kiss to Aaron’s cheek before leaving.
If nothing else, Kev doesn’t deserve to be alone.