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Castiel didn't find his situation nearly as funny as Dean does. There are certain things Castiel prides himself of and his independence is one of them. Having a guardian angel watching over him didn't bother him until that angel insisted on appearing whenever he liked.
The hunter had been restocking his ammo and carving out stakes when he appeared. On more than one occasion Castiel has shot or stabbed Sam out of instinct, today he'd thrown a knife into his chest and put his head into his hands as the angel dislodged it with ease. "Great aim, good thing I wasn't a hunter."
Castiel nodded, "Although, if you were. That's a terrible reaction time." He commented, as Sam handed him back his blade. Castiel set in on the table and tilted his head at the angel. Sometimes he asks to meet the angel for something specific but he couldn't recall any business needed. Right now there wasn't much happening in the supernatural. In fact, it was a bit worrying how quiet it was.
"I don't need to dodge human-made weapons." Sam responded. The angel looked past Castiel, busy inspecting the man's quarters. "It is a miracle you don't freeze in here." He told Castiel who rolled his eyes. Sure, it wasn't the best home, in fact it was more of a shed over anything. But he didn't spend much time here. It was where he regrouped and disappears to when he doesn't want to deal with hunters. Not that they respect that, Rufus especially likes welcoming himself to Castiel's rations. However, he has everything he needs in his little home.
The hunter pushed his work to the side, "You conduct literal miracles. I don't freeze because I prepare for the winter. I have a system." Castiel defended and Sam looked back at the hunter. He held such an angry defensive expression that is intimidating to most. However; Sam found himself wanting to kiss the man. He is aware that Castiel could cause him serious harm, he's a very capable hunter. His name strikes fear in the heart of others for a reason. But he's also aware of their relation to each other. Very aware.
"Always prepared," Sam said. The angel sat down on an empty workshop table. Folding his legs in as he picked up a stake. His hand trailed down the craftsmanship and glanced at Castiel, "You can include sigils along these that make them more potent. You'd exert less energy when stabbing." Sam said, and Castiel shook his head with a smile. Only Sam would pick up an item and let him know how to make it deadlier. He hid his smile away, trying to stay serious around the angel.
Sam had caught the smile nonetheless. Sam's eyes focused on an empty can of soup. He floated it over to him and sniffed it. He pushed it away from him and looked at Castiel, "You need a better diet."
"I have an excellent diet," Castiel defended, "Better than yours." Castiel could see Sam wondering when it had been eaten. With that reaction, Castiel declined telling the man he had it for breakfast. It wasn't the best but he drowned it in hot sauce. Sam would be even more horrified to know he often doesn't warm the cans as he lacks a stove and the grill or even stone-pit he has around here was simply too much work for a sad soup.
Sam glanced up at Castiel, "I'm an angel. I don't have a diet, Castiel." The emphasis on angel and Castiel had the hunter biting down his laughter. It was strangely endearing.
"Precisely, I by default have a much better diet than you." Castiel hummed, and Sam frowned. The man won off a technicality and he knew it. Castiel crossed his arms, wondering if Sam would argue back, but the angel set the can down.
"I can bring you fresh fruits and vegetables. Even meat." Sam said. He's seen Castiel's collection of beef jerky and mixed vegetables that he calls a rounded meal. Along with his sad fruit collection of cans. Castiel insists he likes them especially for the juice. Sam didn't understand how one could favor that over a fresh fruit.
Castiel raised an eyebrow and motioned around the room, "Okay. And where do I store them?" He asked, and Sam noticed the lack of a fridge or even an ice chest of sorts. "Sam, I appreciate the thought but I eat canned whatever and dried out meat and fruit for a reason. The shelf life of food is short and it's plain wasteful trying to consistently eat it."
Sam's pinched expression didn't dissipate even as he realized the man had a point. The best he got was a tilted, "Fine," from the angel.
"So…you're dropping it?" Castiel asked, and Sam crossed his arms. Castiel leaned forward, "This doesn't feel like you dropping it."
Sam exhaled, "I'm dropping it." He pouted and Castiel chuckled. Rather than looking like the intimidating angel he is, he appeared as a pouty child who didn't get his way.
"Good," Castiel said, picking up his rounds. He knew Sam would stay and talk to him further after his little fit. In fact, without glancing up he could notice the angel stalking closer. Castiel shook his head with a smile.
"Sam," Castiel looked up at the angel who looked into the hunter's eyes. The angel was sitting on the table the hunter was using. Sam had teleported to him and had set down a bag in front of the hunter. He proceeded to pick up one of his knives examining it. "What is this?" The hunter asked, pulling out a sub sandwich. Sam set down the knife and scooted closer, resting his head on his hand.
"I know it didn't come from a can, but I thought you still knew what food looks like." Sam said, and exhaled dramatically. Castiel gave him a look and crossed his arms. Sam mimicked him with a smile.
Castiel shook his head, "Very funny. You said you'd drop this." Sam's smiled grew wider at being called funny, sarcastic or not he was taking it.
Sam had such a smug smile on his face, "I did drop it," Sam agreed, "Off in a bag." Castiel blinked at him and the angel continued, "Also, you're not going to store this. It's simply a lunch so…I was being honest about dropping it."
"I feel like a child being dropped off their lunch," Castiel muttered, staring at it. It had to be a mockery of some kind. It didn't help how Sam approached him with it. All he was missing was a note with a heart that said, "Love, Sam."
The angel drummed his fingers along the table, "Maybe it's because you're acting like one." He said with a shrug, and Castiel was tempted to push the angel off the table. But the two heard footsteps going down the stairs, they looked and saw Dean.
The other hunter was air drumming as he approached, "Cas!" Dean called, and the hunter sighed. Dean walked further into the room, "Cas—oh. Sam, hey. You're here."
Castiel rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you can send him away." He muttered. Pushing the sandwich away. Dean raised his eyebrows and looked between the two. Castiel looked like his usual grumpy self and Sam seemed pretty pleased with himself.
"Okay, you not being a fan of your boyfriend. What'd you do?" Dean asked Sam who surrendered, raising his hands up. The angel pointed at the bagged lunch.
"I brought him lunch." Sam said, and Dean frowned looking at Castiel who was glaring at the food as if it had personally offended him. Knowing the hunter, it probably did in a way.
Dean shook his head, "The absolute horror. Should I kill the angel or the sandwich? Probably both to be safe, right?" Dean asked, and Castiel flipped him off. Dean raised his own middle fingers at him.
"You can have it," Castiel muttered, pushing it towards him. Dean pushed it right back and the hunter frowned, "Since when do you deny food?"
Dean rolled his eyes, "Since I already ate. A lot. Your boyfriend already brought lunch to us. He was convinced you'd be difficult it he didn't. And to no one's surprise, he was right."
"Samuel." Castiel chastised, and the angel smiled. Without missing a beat, "Castiel." Sam echoed back.
"Cas, it's a sandwich not a bomb." Dean said, and Castiel turned to face Dean. He held up his knife, pointing it at the hunter who simply rolled his eyes knowing he was about to be lectured.
"We don't know that. Can you confirm that definitely? This could easily be a long haul of ending me," Castiel said, and Dean blinked at him. He pushed the knife down, and flicked the hunter, hoping some common sense would get into that thick skull of his.
Dean shook his head, "You're right. I mean after years of fighting on our side. Taking out angels and demons for us. Getting himself beat up and having to rescue your ass, I'm sure now is the perfect time to get your guard down and kill you via sandwich."
"Thank you for seeing it for what it is," Castiel said, "He knows if a hunter died by a sandwich it would be our end. I mean our reputation would tank as a whole. No one would respect the name Castiel anymore along with any of my associates. And who would suspect it from Sam? It is the perfect crime."
Sam poked Castiel, "As great as it is hearing you call me a murderer. I do have to correct some things. I mean, one I'd never kill you with a sandwich. It's too risky, you could tell immediately if something was off. I'd have to go more subtle with something like an apple." Sam said, tossing the hunter one. Castiel glared at Sam and set it down on the table.
"Full of jokes today, aren't we?" Castiel asked, and Sam shook his head. He let his legs hang over the table and began to swing them back and forth.
"Actually, no. Not at all. I'm dead serious." Sam said, dropping his face of all emotion. Castiel glared at him and Sam glared back.
Castiel picked up the knife and pricked his finger, "I can send you back."
"If you have to," Sam said, "I won't stop you and neither will Dean."
Castiel dropped the knife and crossed his arms, "So what is this to you? You can't be wrong or something?" The hunter asked and Sam tilted his head raising an eyebrow.
"I'm not trying to be right. Call me wrong, it's fine. What isn't fine is putting yourself in an early grave from your diet! Sure, you can tackle ghouls and witches no problem. But the moment you have to take care of yourself, you don't. Your diet is so bad you have Dean's diet looking like balanced meals. At least his burgers are fresh and have some vegetables." Sam said, and Castiel bit hit tongue.
Dean stepped forward and nudged Sam, "Nice argument and all, but um. Can I get that in writing for Ellen? She hasn't let up on how I eat but hearing that from an angel just might get me some slack." Dean asked and Sam rolled his eyes.
"No, she's right. Your diet is also terrible. His is simply worse." Sam said, wiping his face. He should've known Dean would've jumped into the conversation somehow.
Dean shrugged, "That's fine. I'll easily settle for having a better diet than Castiel's." He reached over Castiel and plucked his notebook and pen from him. Much to Castiel's annoyance. Dean handed it over to Sam who discarded it back onto the table.
"If I eat this will you both leave?" Castiel asked, looking sharply at them both. Dean raised his hands up and Sam's face softened.
"I'll leave if you tell me to," Sam said, awaiting for the command. But Castiel's eyes softened and he looked away. He wasn't going to send Sam away, even if he was frustrating him.
Dean scratched his face, "Okay. I'm leaving because this is no longer entertaining for me. But um, Cas. Rufus said he needed some items from your place. He said he'd replace them."
Castiel shook his head, "I don't know why he says that. He never does."
Dean shrugged, "I'm just the messenger. And technically not even Rufus'. Bobby sent me down here to tell you." And with that Dean was off running back up the stairs while Castiel looked at Sam with a sigh.
"Why can't you drop this? I mean my diet isn't the worst thing in the world." Castiel said, and Sam wiped his face.
"Because… I can't help you." Sam admitted, "I mean, I do help you with hunts. I can heal your cuts and bruises. Broken bones. But that's after the fact. I can't keep you safe. I'm not always by your side and you never know when to pull yourself out of danger. I know this. You know this. I can't help you in that way, but I can help you with the smaller things. Like food. There's no reason the man who is actively saving the world should have to settle for some cold carrots out of a can."
Sam had reached out, holding Castiel's hands. The hunter sighed, "A sandwich?" And the angel smiled with a nod, "A sandwich." He repeated.
Castiel pulled his hands back, and picked it up, "Fine. Because I like you." The hunter said, taking a bite. It was the best damn sandwich he ever had, but he tried to keep a neutral face. He didn't do a very good job, Sam knew that facial expression. It was the same face he made eating a burger.
"Thank you." Sam said, placing a kiss on top of the hunter's head. Castiel nodded. But didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. Sam understood perfectly.