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Back when I was enlisted on Blue Team, me and Church had a tradition every Valentine’s Day.
It started when I was in Blood Gulch and Church had sent me out on patrol for bad guys. He always sent me out on patrol alone and never gets Tucker to go patrol with me which is great because he is stupid and I hate him.
This was a very important job to do! And Church always trusted me to do this, normally I would try my hardest to stand guard, but then I checked the calendar in my helmet and I saw that it was Valentine’s Day!
I like Valentine’s Day, my mom and my sisters would give me chocolate since I did not really get Valentines growing up, the few times a girl acted interested in me I could tell that they only did it because they felt bad for me, I end up playing along since I did not have anyone else to celebrate it with.
No one really saw me as someone they could be boyfriends with, I guess they do not really think I can handle those types of things. I always knew people saw me as “different” and I guess that means that people do not actually wanna go on dates with me or hold my hand or tell me that they liked me…
I try not to let it get to me.
Then I thought about Church, not getting any chocolates, or cards… or anyone to greet him…
Yeah, Church had Tex, but she was not very nice to him, sometimes I wonder what he even sees in her or why he keeps worrying about her when she does not seem to like him back. All she does is insult and be mean to him!
Church and Texas are always so confusing! Church thinks they still like each other but they are always fighting. One day they are exes and the next day he acts like she is his girlfriend and she is always mean to him and it is really really confusing.
I do not know why you would like someone who is mean to you, I can like Church better than Texas can!
Tex would not give Church flowers or chocolate or anything like that, so I need to be Church’s Valentine!
I went back to Blue Base, Church was looking through his sniper rifle and talking with stupid Tucker… always taking my Church away from me…
I ignored the aqua colored jerkface and I went up to Church.
“Hey Church! Happy Valentin-“
“Get the fuck away from me”
“But-“
“Did I tell you to come here? I said GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.” then Church started shooting at me but it was fine because I knew he was missing on purpose and was just playing with me, of course he would not actually miss at point blank range, so I went back to patrolling.
Oh, and after that our base got upgrades! So me and Church got the spend the next Valentine’s Day with better bases! Which means that I had to make this day extra special, I had to give Church a gift!
I worked really hard on my gift, I got my supplies and I spent like an hour writing and drawing and making it which was kinda hard but it was for Church so it was also not that hard.
I went up to the roof of the base, I saw Church and went up to him to give him my gift.
“Church, would you be my-“
“Get the fuck away from me.”
Yeah, he does that a lot, that is just how Church is after all.
“But-“
“Rookie, I’m fucking busy spying on the Reds, if you don’t have anything worth saying then stop wasting my fucking time and get the fuck away from me.”
“But Church! It is really important, I- I have a present and I worked hard on it for you.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t want it.”
I started to look down and act sad “Okay Church… I guess if you do not want it I will just throw it away then” I slowly turned back, like I was going to actually do it.
Church made a frustrated noise, “Hrrgnnn… Fine I’ll take it”. Silly Church, I knew that would work.
I excitedly showed Church my gift, it was a Valentine’s Day card! He stared at it with that serious face he makes. I felt really giddy inside seeing him open it, I wonder what the look on his face will be… he’s gonna be so proud of me I just know it! I worked really hard on the card, please like it!
He was silent for a while, he looked a bit confused before acting flustered. “Did- Is this crayon?” he continued staring at the card, he was confused which made me confused because I thought the card was simple and easy to understand.
“Did you like reading it, Church?”
“Read? Wh- This is meant to be writing? These are just scribbles how the fuck am I supposed to read this?”
Oh, Church did not understand what the card said… I worked really hard on it… I guess I should have gotten someone to help me write it… or wrote slower… not my fault I got really excited…
Church made a sigh.
My voice got more and more excited as I talked “Well if you can not read it then I can tell you what it says because I want you to know that you are-“
“Get. The fuck. Away from me.”
The next year we moved to a new base, it was nice of them to give us new bases. The bases at Valhalla were much bigger and roomier but I still kinda missed Blood Gulch a little…
Church has been really sad lately, Tex just blew up and now he is sad about it, even though he keeps complaining about her and he told me once that he wished she was dead, feelings are weird.
He is all alone again, and I can not let him be alone and sad on Valentine’s Day! I have to cheer up Church!
Hmm… I wonder how to cheer him up, maybe I can give him breakfast… no he does not have a mouth, or maybe…
I was lost in thought trying to come up with a way to cheer up Church, then I started to look around, maybe I could find an answer somewhere.
“Hmm… thinking… thinking…”
Then I got tired from all the thinking making my head hurt, I sat down on the grass and looked down at my feet, I started playing with the grass but then I realized that there were flowers on it! I looked around and there were more and more flowers everywhere! Yay! I have something to make Church happy again!
So there I was, crawling on the grass, plucking out and gathering all the flowers around our base, it took me like an hour but it will be so worth it when Church tells me that he likes me and he is not sad anymore!
I went in back the base and saw Church talking with the new Freelancer guy.
“Hey Church, Agent Washingtub, nice weather!”
Church did not bother to face me “I guess, okay.”
“I wonder if we will find all those mean computer people today.”
“Yeah whatever, fine”
I shyly started walking towards Church, keeping my flowers behind my back “You know because, today would be a great day to find them because TODAY IS-“
Church finally turned to face me “You fucki-!”
Church looked so surprised when I held out my flowers to him “Ta-da! I got you flowers, Church!”
I shoved them onto his chest, his arms instinctively held onto them after I pulled away, he liked my surprise so much that he did not say anything for a while and just stared at it.
He eventually looked at me, “Caboose…” he pinched his forehead and gave me that face he makes when I do nice things for him, he looked down at the flowers that were now in his hand “These are weeds”.
Agent Washingtub looked at Church “Uh- Private Church, does he normally give you things every Valentine’s Day?”
Me and Church answered at the same time, we are so in sync, “No.” “Yes.”
I could tell Church was really flustered, he started avoiding looking at Agent Washingtub like he was embarrassed that he was seeing us like this.
I continued talking as Church’s body started shivering and making teeth grinding sounds, must be from excitement.
“Yeah, those are my favorite flowers, I do not know why the old people on TV are always worrying about teenagers using them though because they look really pretty and I like pretty things because they remind me of Church because Church is pretty and-“
Eventually after making a bunch of sounds that were all like “grrr” and “hrrghhh” he replied to me again!
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”
Then a week after that I had a really bad dream, in my dream Blue base was being attacked by the Reds and the alien guys and we were so swarmed that Church died and then Tucker also died and I so sad and I was crying so much I woke up really crying and really scared.
I was too sad and scared to sleep again, sleeping alone in the dark did not feel good anymore so I went to Church’s room to sleep with him, I always felt better when he cuddled and comforted me in bed…
I opened Church’s door and stood there “Church… can I…”
Church woke up “Had a nightmare again, buddy?”
I quietly nodded a yes, I could not bring myself to say the actual word “yes”, all my mouth could do was whimper.
Church scooched over in his bed, “Alright, but this will be the last time I do this for you.”
Like the last six times were the “last time”.
As I was slowly walking over to him, I looked around the room nervously and on a table… I saw that he kept my flowers inside a beer can… and next to it… was my card… he still kept it…
I had a really good sleep in Church’s arms that night.
Even after Project Freelancer and the war ended and we both got discharged and moved in together, we still do our special thing together.
Church is sleeping in late, which means I get to cuddle with him longer!
I love cuddling with Church, I always had to hold back when I hug or cuddle people but since Church is not made of squishy meat and bones and stuff I can hug him as much as I want. Metal really is the best friend material, I do not have to worry about crushing him like the pets I used to have growing up, *sniff* I miss you Fido...
I know that Church would not want to be woken up today but I was just too excited for today! I cannot wait, I have to wake him up for our special day!
Even though I want to hug him forever, I had to get out the room for a very special reason so I had to pull myself away from him. I did not like how empty and cold it feels when I am not with him but I had to get out of bed. I ran out of our room to get something very special and important for him, luckily it was still just where I left them yesterday! So I can get back and give it to Church now!
I ran back to bed and there Church was, still sleeping, he looked so cute, even if he was made of metal and did not have a face I still thought he was the most handsomest and bestest thing in the world.
I climbed on top of Church while holding on to my gift and tried to shake him awake.
“Church! Get up!”
I could hear Church start to groan.
“Church! Guess what!”
“Ughhh… what the fuck are you doing” Church drooled out.
He still has not noticed my very special gift, he is going to love this.
“Church! Get up! Do you know what today is?”
Church sounded so cute when he talks while being sleepy, “I don’t fuckim knowm…”
I shoved the flowers I was holding onto his face. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Church! And do not worry, these are not weeds.”
I hugged Church really tight and I crawled towards Church’s head to shower his face with kisses, I have to make up for Church not being able to kiss me back.
Church chuckled, he playfully tried to shove me off him, it was funny he acted like he could overpower me, I had to hold back and pretend he could actually shove me off “Heh, get the fuck away from me!”