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The thing is, Danny didn’t tell Steve at first. So, it’s not like it’s his fault or anything.
Although in retrospect, yes, Steve probably should have picked up on something. But you see the thing is, it’s not like Danny doesn’t have his moods. And there’s not always an obvious cause. And yes, sure, sometimes there does end up being a reason for his emotional state. But just as many times there’s not. He’s simply a moody person.
Steve long ago accepted that, and it’s not like it’s kept him from loving his partner. If he was honest and self aware enough to know this about himself, he’d have been able to admit that it’s actually part of Danny’s appeal. And maybe that makes Steve sound like a drama seeking junkie. After all, he does thrive on conflict. But the truth of the matter is Steve just enjoys Danny in whatever form or mood he’s in.
Well. It’s not like Steve doesn’t have a few favorites. Sleepy contented Danny, for example. That “lazy Sunday afternoon, post surf, post beer, pre-grilled steaks or tuna” Danny, when he falls asleep on the lanai while Steve heats up the grill and tosses the ball for Eddie.
Steve likes that Danny a lot. Partly because it gives him the peace to imagine this time Danny’ll just stay, and after they eat they’ll go up to bed together, fall asleep side by side, and in the morning Steve’ll get to bring coffee in bed to his sleep tousled partner—partner with the other meaning, at last.
And speaking of coffee, that is how Steve finally learned the truth. Or at least, coffee and donuts. Well, malasadas.
Well. The absence of them. Or rather, Danny’s refusal of them.
Honestly at first Steve thought he was joking. So he played along.
“Oh, this malasada? You don’t want this one? With the guava filling?”
He was about to take a bite, or pretended he was about to take a bite, fully anticipating Danny would stop him, physically (which he was looking forward to, if you get the drift).
Only Danny didn’t.
He got an almost angry look on his face, for the briefest of moments, but it was replaced so swiftly with a look of … to be honest, Steve didn’t know how to describe it, forlorn? Bereft? Lost, almost.
“Danny what’s wrong?” Steve asked, because the only thing he could imagine was something seriously bad had happened.
But Danny’s frustrated head shake and refusal to explain (and really, when does Danny ever not want to explain?) started Steve panicking.
“Is it Grace? Is she okay? Where’s Charlie, is he sick?” And he started looking around Danny’s kitchen, like he would find danger nearby.
“The kids are fine, babe.” Danny sighed. “It’s me,” he finally said, and yeah now Steve really started to freak out.
“Oh god. What is it, just tell me.”
There was a split second where Danny’s expression softened. Where some hint of hope seemed to come flooding back to his face. He reached a hand to Steve’s arm and stilled him.
“Babe, it’s okay. It’s nothing bad. I’m just supposed to cut back on sugar. The doc’s worried about my bloodwork. Nothing serious yet, just, time to start being more cautious.”
Steve’s pretty sure his mouth dropped open. “No sugar?” He asked, in a hoarse whisper. Because, and maybe Steve was the only one of the two of them that knew it (though Kono was also well aware), but sugar (by way of sweet treats) was kind of the main way Steve was ever able to manage Danny’s moods.
Without sugar… Steve couldn’t begin to imagine how he was meant to operate. Danny without sugar… well, he could hardly be Danny at all.
Clearly some of Steve’s panic was written too loudly on his face, because Danny actually laughed.
“Babe, you’re taking this worse than me,” he said, and took the now squished malasada from Steve’s hand (and really why was he still holding it?) and set it back in the box, stoping himself just in time from licking his fingers. He grabbed a nearby tea towel and thoroughly wiped his fingers, looking regretfully at them as he did.
With his non-donuted hand, Steve passed Danny the cup of (black) coffee he’d brought for himself, ignoring the mocha he’d brought for Danny, in the hopes of brightening his mood. It was now obvious why Danny’d not been in the best of spirits the past few days. Steve tried to remember when his appointment had been, but realized it was the lab results that had mattered. When had he gotten those?
He must have looked puzzled as he tried to figure it out, because Danny answered it for him.
“Two days ago.” He sighed like it had been an absolute age. “Two full days.”
Steve watched as Danny sipped the black coffee and grimaced, taking the lid off and opening his fridge to find some milk.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Danny shrugged, gesturing vaguely. “I was gonna. Eventually. Obviously.” He replaced the coffee’s lid, and took a careful sip. “Not like there’s anything you can do,” he said, regretful grin nearing his usual dark-humored self.
“I could not do this,” Steve pointed out, moving finally to the sink to wash the guava and sugar from his hand.
“Yeah, sorry about the waste,” Danny replied, getting Steve a fresh towel from the drawer next to the stove.
“I don’t care about that, Danny.” He frowned. “But I’d like to help.”
Danny really did grin at that. “Oh yeah babe? How’re you gonna do that, exactly? You gonna make my food taste sweet? Make my plain oatmeal taste like brown sugar?”
“Well, I’m a very sweet person,” Steve responded, puffing himself up as if he could physically make up for Danny’s new sugar-reduced diet.
“Oh yeah? Should I lick you before or after I eat my cereal?”
And okay that imagery caught Steve a little bit off guard.
It’s possible Danny noticed.
Stepping closer, he looked up into Steve’s hastily (and no doubt poorly) shuttered eyes. “You like that idea, don’t you,” he said softly. “Well, how about that.”
And it’s not like Steve would have said Danny’s tone was dripping with honey, but it definitely wasn’t the tone Steve might have expected if he’d thought to expect Danny to discover Steve’s long hidden longing (not licking specifically though he wasn’t averse, but kissing certainly was top of his list).
Point is, Steve in a literal instant had hope where he’d had none before, and he was instantly on alert, in the best possible way.
“Yeah?” He asked, near to a whisper, as if sound might frighten this new possibility away.
Danny stepped even closer. His face was screwed up and intense, seeking, searching every inch of Steve’s expression for more clues. “How long have you wanted this?” Danny wondered, as if to himself, and Steve couldn’t help but blink, because, well yeah, for a really long time. Obviously.
It wasn’t a real question though, right? And Steve shuffled anxiously on his feet as Danny moved even closer, but he didn’t answer. He knew his voice would give him away. Although it probably wouldn’t matter much, because if Danny got like an inch closer he’d be tactilely aware how much Steve wanted this.
But Danny didn’t move. He simply looked up at Steve with an unusually patient expression. “How long, babe?”
Steve felt, with the weight of that gaze upon him, a tingling sensation rise from the soles of his feet nestled in his boots, to the top of his head, that his answer mattered. Like, really really mattered.
He swallowed. Gulped, more like. And took as deep a breath as he could, considering he felt like his chest was so tight he couldn’t get his lungs to expand at all. “Yeah, um, ten years?” His voice came out scratchy and broken and scared. And he wouldn’t have said why, only the thought of Danny punching him wasn’t completely outside the realm of possibility. Not because he would be disgusted, of course not, but mad at Steve for, how would he put it? Not using his words.
So it was altogether something of a relief when instead Danny huffed out the softest of breaths. And then he did take that step closer, their bodies now flush up against each other, and the gasp that escaped Danny’s lips when he felt the clear point of Steve’s longing really did things to enhance the tingly sensation that hadn’t left a single inch of Steve’s body.
“You could have said something,” Danny muttered, but gently, softly, not harsh and scolding like Steve might have expected. “Or,” and here he pressed more solidly against Steve, till he had him pinned against the kitchen counter, “done something.”
“Like what?” Steve asked, somehow, without breathing.
The smile that spread across Danny’s face was wicked and delighted and filthy and absolutely angelic.
“Like this,” he said, and pulling on Steve’s shirt to lower him to his level, Danny pressed his lips just to the barest surface of Steve’s. “Just to be clear, I’m going to kiss you now,” he whispered, and when Steve nodded, Danny full on fucking took possession of Steve’s lips.
There’s really no other way of putting it, he simply claimed them like it was territory that could be claimed, and he was competing with hundreds of others and needed to be abundantly clear. Mine, the kiss said, and Steve tried his best to put his responding Always only yours into his returning kiss, but still letting Danny lead it, because Steve had always known. This of all things needed to be Danny’s lead. “Key’s in your hand,” he wanted to say.
When Danny let his lips drop from Steve’s, he was breathless and flushed, like he’d just run ten blocks to catch a perp. He looked gorgeous like this, Steve found himself thinking, as the kitchen around them swam in a blurry haze. It felt as though he wouldn’t breathe until Danny kissed him again. Like things were now only in focus with Danny’s lips on his.
That might make things difficult, he thought, absurdly, and his fingers touched his lips, on the afterthought, like he might hold the kiss to them to prolong the effect.
Danny meanwhile was softly chuckling.
Still touching his lips, Steve narrowed his eyes at Danny. Who immediately explained.
“Oh god, don’t worry, I’m not regretting that. Ohhh I am not regretting that at all.”
“Good,” was all Steve could manage, as he felt very much as though he might faint.
“It’s just, and it says something that I’ve forgotten this about myself, but. I really only crave sugar when I’m not in a relationship. Well. When I’m not… you know.”
Steve’s eyebrows went up at Danny’s implied context. “Do I know?” He asked, tauntingly.
Licking his lips, Danny hmmmed. “Yeah I think you do.”
“I might need some explicit instructions,” Steve whispered, finding his breath and his motivation, moving closer for another kiss. “So, kissing, yes?” He asked Danny’s lips. “Anything else? I mean, I’d like to be as helpful as possible.”
Danny’s laughter on Steve’s kiss-damp lips was warm and inviting. “I think you will be very helpful, babe,” and Danny cupped Steve through his cargos.
“Remind me to thank your doctor,” Steve gasped as Danny took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
***
“You’re doing really well with the no sugar thing,” Kono observed at their usual Friday tacos and beers night later that week. There was a barest hint of suspicion in her tone.
“Yeah, I am,” Danny said, proudly.
“What’s your secret?” Chin asked. “Did you find a sweetener you like?”
Kono nearly spit out her drink.
“You might say that,” Steve offered, that puffed up stance of his threatening to show. Because yeah okay. He was damn proud that he had replaced sugar in Danny’s diet with himself and it had worked.
Realization spread across Chin’s face, but it was knocked off and replaced with resignation the instant Kono elbowed him in the ribs, holding out her hand, palm up.
“Okay okay, you win,” he said, and reaching into his wallet, pulled out a twenty and placed it into her waiting hand.
“Thank you very much,” she said, closing her fist around it.
“Seriously?” Danny asked her.
“Yeah, but she got it right. Didn’t you believe in me?” Steve asked Chin, feigning hurt.
“I’m going to go get more beers,” Chin sighed, standing up.
“Yeah good idea,” Steve said mock threateningly, slapping him on the back as he went.
After he left, Kono looked more intently at Steve. “Seriously boss. We’re so happy for you. ‘Bout time you had some sweetness in your life too, you know.”
“Oh, I’m very sweet,” Danny replied. “Even without sugar.” And he scooted closer to Steve on the bench.
And who knows what gods of sappy tales inhabited him in the moment, but Steve smiled. “Now that’s a dessert I won’t get tired of,” and he turned to kiss Danny.
“Yeah I’m gonna go get a brownie,” Kono muttered and got up, leaving Steve with his new favorite treat, who laughed into their kiss, and then deepened it, and yeah if that was gonna be Danny’s response to sugary sweets being mentioned, Steve was absolutely gonna be okay with it.
“You’re the only dessert I need, babe,” Danny whispered onto his lips, then sat back with a warm and contented look, as Chin and Kono returned.
“You good? Need some more privacy? There’s a hotel right there,” Chin pointed to the building behind them.
“We’re good,” Steve assured him, but he wrapped Danny closer, and they stayed like that the rest of the evening.
And nothing and everything had changed, and they were still them, although probably less snarky and more sweet, but if anyone minded that, no one said a word.