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Cooking class!AU where Izzy decides to take cooking classes because no matter how much she appreciates that her friends and family pretend to like her food, she does feel guilty for accidentally food poisoning Clary that time. And Simon those three times. And Alec those nine times. (Jace never gets food poisoning from Izzy’s cooking, because he’s sneakier than the others and never actually eats any of it).
She doesn’t want to go alone though, so she signs up herself and Alec for a couples cooking class, which Alec reluctantly agrees to (”But why does it have to be a couples class?” / “Because then we’re sure to get to work together.” / “Won’t it be weird, though?” / “Why would it be?” / “Idk, people will think we’re a couple, won’t they? Do we have to act like one? Will they kick us out of the class if we don’t? I don’t want to have to pretend you’re my girlfriend, that’d be really awkward.” / *Izzy laughs for about a century* “Don’t worry, big brother, we can be that old married couple whose sex life went down the drain after they had kids if it makes you feel more comfortable.” / “It really doesn’t.” / “So we’ll just let people assume we’re not into PDA. It’s not like we’re going to be put on the stand, Alec.” / “Okay, but if this turns into a mess, remember it was your idea.”).
So they go to the class, and everyone there just assumes they’re married, because of their easy affection, how obviously comfortable they are together and the fact that they have the same last name. And while neither of them actually goes as far as calling the other husband/wife, Alec and Izzy have a blast bringing back every silly nickname they ever had for each other growing up (“pass the sugar, Alectodor” / “Sure thing, Izzy-dizzy”), and everything goes swimmingly. So well, in fact, that once the class is done, they decide to sign up for the next one (Alec is really excited about this. He loves Asian fusion, so he convinces Izzy they should go for that one because “just think about it, we’ll save so much money on take out. We’ll do French pastry after that, promise”), which is where they meet Magnus, aka the instructor of that second level class.
Now, Magnus has heard all about the Lightwoods from his colleague Raphael, who taught the beginners class (in so-fucking-perfect-they-make-you-want-to-puke-rant form, because Raphael rants about all his students), so he’s expecting this super pretty, over-the-top, gag-worthy newlywed couple who can’t keep their hands off each other and insist of feeding each other every little thing. And, sure, when he first meets them, he’s momentarily stunned by how attractive they both are, but the more he interacts with them, the more he adores their easy camaraderie and little inside jokes and how deeply they clearly care about each other. Which is really a shame, because it takes all of five minutes for Alec to do something that completely takes Magnus’ breath away, and after three-four lessons, Magnus is crushing hard. Which is hopeless, because Alec is married, but also confusing, because he’s kind of getting the impression that Alec isinterested back (his attempts at flirting are endearingly awkward, but Magnus is pretty sure they are attempts at flirting–not to mention the number of times he’s caught Alec checking him out and then blush furiously when Magnus caught him at it). And Izzy is clearly aware of her husband’s attraction, and from what Magnus can tell, she’s actively encouraging it, even. So Magnus is a bit lost on what their deal is–whether they’re poly or angling for a threesome or if Izzy just has a thing for watching her husband flirt with other people. He doesn’t think Izzy is attracted to him, though, and she doesn’t seem like a person who’d play with someone’s emotions, so option one seems the most likely, and Magnus has a couple of soul-searching weeks when he’s trying to figure out whether he would be comfortable in a poly relationship, and reading up on different dynamics and setups online, and checking out forums and asking for links to more stuff, and advice for newbies such as himself, and ends up meeting all these fabulous people who are happy to share their own stories and let him ask questions, and so when Alec does him ask him out (blushing adorably, Magnus is so gone for him it’s ridiculous), Magnus feels confident enough in the idea that he says yes. He asks whether Izzy is coming too, because he’s read that some couples prefer to get to know a potential partner together, and Alec seems thrown for a moment, before he stutters out that no, he thought they could maybe do something, just the two of them? Like a date? (The look in Alec’s eyes when he says “date” sends a shiver of heat down the length of Magnus’ spine, and, oh, yes, he’d love to go on a date.) The cooking class is fairly late at night, so they make plans to go out for drinks together after the next one.
That next class is absolute torture for Magnus, because not only is Alec dressed up for clubbing in a tight pair of leather pants and a black tank that shows off his arms and makes Magnus’ mind come up with all kinds of scenarios involving said arms, but his eyes keep following Magnus around the room, and whenever Magnus goes over to his and Izzy’s work area to help with the dish they’re making, the tension is insane. Magnus keeps an eye on Izzy as well, just to make sure that she’s still OK with everything, and she clearly is, at least judging from the way she keeps whispering things in Alec’s ear that make Alec smile and relax whenever he seems to be getting nervous. At the end of the class, Magnus walks up to them just as Izzy is telling Alec to have a great time and giving him a tight hug. He sidles up to Alec and asks if he’s ready to go. Alec nods, and Magnus turns to Izzy, who is positively beaming at them (“You guys have fun!”/ *Alec rolls her eyes at her* “We will. Stop fretting.” / “I think it’s sweet” *Magnus turns to Izzy *Anything I should keep in mind?” / *Izzy tilts her head* “Why, you want the hurt-him-and-I’ll-hurt-you-worse speech?” / “I was thinking more in terms of dos and don’ts?” / “Oh, I think Alec is fully capable to help you out there.” / “Yes, I totally am.” *Alec gives Izzy a kiss on the head* “Now get out of here already, yeah? I’ll call you tomorrow.” *Magnus’ eyebrows go through the roof “Tomorrow, huh? Well, someone’s clearly confident.” / *Alec blushes and stutters. Izzy just winks at both of them and leaves*).
So then Alec and Magnus go out clubbing, and it’s an amazing date from the get-go. They go for cocktails first, and learn all the things about each other that aren’t relationship-related, like jobs and pets and hobbies. There’s a LOT of flirting and innuendo and “casual” touching, so when they finally hit the club, both of them are already very worked up. They grab a quick drink at the bar and then hit the dance floor, and Magnus can barely breathe from how perfect Alec feels pressed up against him, how utterly beautiful he is when he moves. Alec’s hands slide under the back of Magnus’ shirt and pulls him closer, and Magnus wants him so badly it hurts. He thinks that taking a break from dancing is probably a good idea, just to go over what limits Alec and Izzy have agreed on, but then Alec leans in and kisses him, and Magnus figures that he’ll just follow Alec’s lead instead; he trusts him–impossible as it sounds after only seeing him once a week for a couple of months–trusts that he loves Izzy too much to do something that’d hurt her and will let Magnus know if they need to stop. So Magnus kisses him back and loses himself in the beat of the music and Alec’s body against his, and they dance and kiss and let their hands roam over each other until they can’t take it anymore.
They take a cab back to Magnus’ apartment and barely make it through the door before clothes are coming off and they knock several things over in their hurry to make it to the bedroom. They fall back on the bed, and Magnus pulls back a little, asking Alec if this is okay, if he’s sure, and Alec nods desperately and tells him that yes, yes, he’s so fucking sure, and Magnus moans and melts into it as Alec flips them over and starts kissing his way down Magnus’s chest and stomach.
The sex is absolutely mind-blowing, and they end up going something ridiculous like three and a half rounds (the half one’s in the shower, somewhere in the middle, because Magnus’ shower was not made for two people, and they just kept slipping and banging their heads and elbows and knees against the tiles, but having so much fun all the same–Magnus can’t even remember a time when sex was this much fun), before they fall asleep, completely sated, utterly exhausted and all tangled up in each other.
When Magnus wakes up the next morning, he’s expecting… he’s not sure what, exactly, some level of uncertainty or something, but instead he gets Alec who smiles at him and kisses him good morning, and then goes out into Magnus’ kitchen to make them coffee, which he brings back to bed. Forget crushing or even infatuated with, Magnus is 4/5 in love with him already, and that’s something they definitely need to talk about, because what is it that Alec wants from this relationship? Does he even want to have a relationship, and if so, what does Alec (and Izzy, God, Magnus almost managed to completely forget her for a while there) want it to look like?
“You okay?” Alec asks him. “You spaced out on me for a minute there.”
Magnus takes another sip of his coffee and decides that it’s better to just be as upfront as possible if they’re going to have a chance to make things work (and, God, Magnus really, really wants them to), so he just spills everything that’s been in his head for the past few weeks, including his insecurities about being all new in the poly community and mindset and how he hopes Alec and Izzy can be patient with him while he learns, and how he really likes Alec–really likes him, it’s almost like Alec’s unlocked something in him, and Magnus wants to see where it goes, and–
And then he realises that Alec is staring back at him in shock, and so of course he panics and starts to backpedal, and Alec has to shut him up by putting a single finger to his lips to keep him quiet for long enough to be able to tell him that “Izzy is my sister. We’re not married. I thought you’d realised we weren’t–oh, my god, Magnus, I’m so sorry…”
Which is how Magnus ends up being told the whole story about Izzy’s awful cooking and signing up for couples classes, and part of Magnus is in shock, but another part of him is running not married he’s not married on a loop, and Magnus simply has to cut off Alec’s rambling explanations by swooping in and kissing him breathless.
Alec responds enthusiastically, and when they finally break apart for air, both of them are shining with happiness and trying their best from keeping themselves from breaking down laughing. (”So, not married, then?” / “No. 100% single.” / “Want to change that?” / “Depends. Are you proposing or asking me on a second date?” / *Magnus pretends to think it over* “Second date for now. I mean, I should at least meet yoursister properly before we get married, don’t you think?” *Alex laughs and tells him to shut up before kissing him again*).
(They eventually tell Izzy the story about how they got everything wrong. She laughs for about a year, tells Magnus she’s sorry for confusing him and that she likes him even more now (Izzy turns out to actually be poly, and currently in a semi-open triad with a guy named Meliorn and a girl named Maureen, who’s also dating Simon on and off). She tells an abridged version of the story when Alec and Magnus do end up getting married a couple of years later, taking full credit for bringing them together. And then Magnus and Alec live happily ever after.)