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Rebirth Pains

Summary:

My own take on the fallout of the DCU Rebirth. Tim and Cassie are left with two sets of memories—and even more feelings—to reconcile.

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Bart comes and tries to explain, but the words he uses don’t really explain, so much as describe the past twenty-four hours. The past messy, traumatizing, and—above all—confusing twenty-four hours. Their reality was derailed. Their reality was derailed and tried to reset itself. It sort of worked, it sort of didn’t.

She thanks Bart and takes a key out of her pocket, unlocking the Titan’s Tower emergency cookie stash. She hands Bart a box of Chocos as a thank you, and lets him to off to do… whatever he was doing before.

When she collapses on the couch, she realizes with a start that the tower is quiet. It shouldn’t be quiet. Vic and Gar should be here—except Vic both is and isn’t a Titan. And Gar—well, Gar’s with Raven no matter what, and Raven is probably back to finding herself.

She’s going through a mental list of people who are and aren’t her teammates when the Tower notifies her that Red Robin has entered, and she sits up when she sees Tim—who is and isn’t *her* Tim.

Her Red, her almost-boyfriend, the guy who got her into this whole teamwork thing, who’s secrets she’s been trying to pry out as carefully as an oyster pearl. Who proves himself to be so frustratingly sheltered one moment, and then entrancingly capable the next. But… also just Tim. Rob. Also her friend. One of her best friends, who she’s known like the back of her hand before she even knew his real name. Who lead and competed to lead with her in both Young Justice and the Teen Titans. Who had decided in the end, to be just her friend.

He collapses down on the couch next to her, and she kind of hates the way she notices he doesn’t sit at the polar end of the it, but doesn’t touch her either.

He startles her by peeling his mask off, but once she sees his face, she knows she isn’t the only one in a quandary today. His eyes flick down, and she knows what he’s thinking. She hasn’t moved away for space or in for a hug. Or anything else.

Yet.

“I was never Robin.”

It’s like saying the sky is made of purple silly string, and she’s about to say so, something equally ridiculous pops out instead.

“Diana was never my sister.”

The wrongness of it starts to slither through the marrow of her bones. She remembers it. She remembers strapping winged sandals to her feet. She remembers her wig itching as she wasted one of Cissie’s arrows, using it to hold her marshmallow over a campfire. She remembers the feeling of a staff sweeping her feet from under her in training, and she remembers how different the feeling could be depending on if it was Diana, Donna, or Artemis at the other end. She remembers the first time she saw her Mom sit down at the breakfast table wearing a Wonder Girl baseball cap. She remembers Kon bleeding out in her arms. She remembers wrapping Tim up in a group hug, telling him with steel in her voice that he would always be their Robin.

Except he was and he wasn’t. It did and didn’t happen.

He’s still staring at her, with a mix of hope and pain. The rest of the world should be in a tizzy too, but it’s a sunny day outside, and the people visible from the window are walking around like nothing has happened. It occurs to Cassie that if Bart hadn’t been here confirming her experiences a second ago, she might worry that she’s been going insane.

So she extends an arm along the couch, trying to be inviting without being pushy before she opens her mouth again.

“Hey, leaders still hug, right?”

He’s across the couch in an instant, wrapped in her arms. She tries not to think too hard if it’s still okay to think of it that way…. in her arms. He both is and isn’t hers.

“I stalked you for months.” He tenses the moment it pops out. If she were just the Cassie who’s been his fellow Titans founder for the past year, she’d be pissed.

But she isn’t just that Cassie. She’s also the Cassie who’s done that whole you-kept-files-on-us song and dance twice over, and learned to be grateful for it.

“You stalked Batman and Nightwing for longer.”

When he pulls back to look at her, his shoulders sag in relief and certainty that she is definitely, 100% on the same page with him. Recent Titan and former thief Cassie Sandsmark shouldn’t know a thing about any guy named Nightwing. She shouldn’t even dream about Wonder Woman being her sister, much less her first name coming so easily to her tongue.

“We should make a plan.”

“To do what? The world’s the same. We’re the ones that have changed.”

“Yeah, but we know more now. We could make a list. A list of all the people who are unaccounted for. We could make sure they’re okay. We should start with Cissie and Greta and Anita’s family. And then—“

“Tim.”

He quiets, but she can tell he isn’t sure he’s going to like what she has to say next. That’s fair, because he won’t.

“My mom was erased, Tim. My whole history is whacked. Diana was never my sister. She’s my aunt. And I still—I remember how happy that made me weeks ago. I still can feel how happy that made me, but just because I remember what I lost doesn’t mean I get it back. That we get it all—.”

She didn’t mean for her voice to go so high or start choking. But Tim catches it, and then catches her, wrapping her up in a hug to match the one she gave him.

“You’re right. We’ll take it slow. We’ll figure it out.”

The person she’s been until today would push him away by this point. That Cassie’s been in denial about wanting this; about wanting him to hold her when they are alone away from everyone else. But the Cassie she is now isn’t interested in lying to herself, though she may question how wise the wanting is.

No sudden moves. She simply pulls back far enough to look him in the eye before looking to his lips, and moving into a close-lipped kiss.

Cassie feels him tense up and go still for what feels like a full minute, but it’s no surprise. He’s never been smooth. The part of her that was never a thief, the part that knew him as Robin knows that he’s had moments of being poised, moments of bluffing his way into the depths of hell even, but Tim Drake has never been smooth.

So when he kisses her back, it’s tentative, and his shoulders shift as though he’s not completely certain what to do with his arms that are already around her.

What matters is that he kisses her back and lets the breath he was holding go in a shaky yet happy exhale.

“Cassie?”

“Tim.”

“I guess… I guess we can figure this out too, while we’re at it?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. But also… This. This is a fresh start, okay? No guilt.”

“And no cloning.”

“And no cults.”

And their lives are both messed up enough that it makes them burst into giggles. They pull the decorative pillows from their respective ends of the couch and bat each other with them. Cassie beats harder, driving him deep into his plush corner of the cushioning until he surrenders with a dropped pillow and his hands raised.

When she finally lets her own pillow go, he takes her hand and though he’s still smiling, there’s something a bit more serious about it.

“I love you, Cassie. I–regardless of how things work out, for everything you’ve been to me–I love you.”

The thief in her tries to pull back. It’s too much too soon, and people make promises and they leave–but the Titan in her knows better. She knows–and he does too–that people walk around with pieces of your heart no matter what, and either you’ve told them how you feel before they die, or you haven’t.

“I love you too, Tim. Regardless.”

Dios, you two! Things got intense while I was gone!”

They both start as Miguel calls from the mini bar. It occurs to Cassie that Bunker may be unaffected by the shift in reality, or maybe he’s just buried the difference deeper and doesn’t feel them yet. One look at Tim tells her he’s already a mile deep in similar thoughts.

Later that night, Tim suggests marathon night, and it takes a moment for Cassie to realize his intention as he pulls out an anniversary collection edition of Wendy the Werewolf Stalker. Halfway through the second episode, he orchestrates a bet, and wins, allowing them to jump to season three. Cassie nearly crumples the arm of the couch under her hand when a familiar guest starring Olympic Archer comes on the scene.

Tim commences the address search as the last of their teammates falls asleep.

As the sun rises, they fly.

.e.n.d.