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Seven Idiots and the Gaming Adventure

Summary:

Idia invites his "friends" over for game night.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Idia set up a gaming area in an empty freshman room. He had a rug splayed out, some pillows, a bowl of popcorn, and more snacks like chips and candy. 

“I hope you guys have fun!” Ortho cheered. “I’m going to be just in the room next door.”

“Thanks Ortho,” Idia said. He was nervous. He’d never had people over before.

“Shroud!” Malleus sang. Riddle and him entered the room with smiles. 

“Good evening, Idia,” Riddle said. “I see you have your whole board game club stash.”

“It’s not much,” Idia said. “We also can’t play Monopoly. I don’t know why it’s here.”

“Why not?” Malleus asked. 

“Azul, he…he gets weird about Monopoly.”

“Well,” Riddle smiled. “I brought Uno, by the recommendation of Cater, Ace and Deuce.”

“Oh,” Idia laughed. “That could be fun, but it’s gonna be so chaotic.”

The pair took their seats. Shortly after, Azul and Jamil joined them.

“Good evening, Idia,” Azul said. “You hid the Monopoly, didn’t you?”

“Let’s do something fun,” Idia complained. “What’s that Jamil?”

“It’s Cards Against Humanity,” Jamil said. “Kalim and I used to play it a lot.”

“Why does it say family edition?” Riddle asked. 

“Because Kalim can’t handle sex jokes. This version is family friendly.”

Jamil placed the box next to the popcorn, and he and Azul found a place to snuggle.

“Are we late?” Vil asked. “Sorry, I was making sure a certain lion had gotten out of bed.”

Leona grumbled.

“Did you bring a game?” Idia asked.

“I have a game on my phone called Heads Up,” Vil said. “Otherwise, I unfortunately don’t have anything.”

“It’s fine!” Idia said. “Let’s get started.”

 

Idia dealt out the uno cards, as Jamil and Azul painfully explained the rules to Riddle and Malleus. 

“Wait?” Azul asked. “Are we playing with 7s and 0s?”

“What?” Vil asked. 

“It means when you play a 7 you can swap hands, and when you play a 0 everyone rotates hands,” Idia explained. “We got newbies here, let’s keep it simple.”

“What about stacking?” Leona asked.

“Stacking?” Malleus inquired.

Idia sighed. “It means if someone plays a +2 or +4, the next person can add another +2 or +4, and it passes to the next person.”

“Well,” Riddle said, “what do the rules say?”

Idia laughed. “No one actually reads the rules.”

“Well, I want to,” Riddle said. “Give me the instructions.”

“No!” Idia said. “Stacking, yes! That’s it.”

Riddle stewed in his anger as the game began. Malleus didn’t understand at first, but quickly caught on.

Leona placed a yellow 4 down. “Uno,” he said.

Riddle was next after him. “I only have one yellow card…”

“Then place it,” Azul encouraged.

Riddle placed a yellow +2.

Azul groaned. “Seriously?”

Jamil smirked. “Go ahead Azul, do it.”

Azul placed another +2 on the pile. Jamil placed a +4. Vil placed a +2. Idia placed a +4.

Leona looked at Malleus. “Lizard, don’t you dare.”

Malleus showed a card to Idia. “Do I?”

“Yeah!” Idia said. “He’s about to win.”

Malleus placed a +4 on the deck.

“FUCK YOU!” Leona groaned. “How many is that?”

“18,” Riddle said.

Leona reluctantly drew the cards. Azul eventually won, saving his color changing card to the very end so they could do nothing to him. 

Idia looked at the angry lion. “Let’s play something else.”

 

Vil searched through the possible decks on his phone. “Oh!”

“Oh?” Leona asked. 

“Let’s do history!” Vil suggested. “Wanna form teams?”

“Sophomores versus juniors?” Riddle suggested.

They all agreed. They shuffled into their groups. Vil handed Idia the phone.

“You’re up,” Vil said.

The counter was already going. Idia put the phone on his forehead.

“Umm…” Vil began. “She’s a member of the Seven. She’s…”

“Diasomnia,” Malleus said.

“Oh, the Thorn Fairy?”

“Yes!” the three said in unison.

The next name popped up. Malleus again spoke. “Do you remember Noble Bell College?”

“Oh, the Righteous Judge?”

“YES!”

Leona spoke next. “The…um the hyenas.”

“Pass!” Vil said. “You can’t say the name in the description!” He looked up at the phone. “The Fairest Queen used it.”

“Poison apple?” Idia asked.

“No, the other one!”

The timer ran out.

“It was the magic mirror,” Vil said. 

Riddle took the phone while Azul marked down the two points.

“Ready?” Riddle asked.

“Born ready,” Azul and Jamil said.

The game began.

“She had long hair—” Jamil said.

“The Princess in the tower.”

“Yes.”

“Pomefiore,” Azul said.

“The Fairest Queen.”

“Yes.”

“Octavinelle,” Azul said.

“The Sea Witch.”

“Yes.”

“Heartslabyul,” Jamil said, “but her husband.”

“The King of Hearts.”

“Yes!”

“The mermaid princess’ father,” Azul said.

“King of the Sea.”

“Yes.”

“Covered the kingdom in snow,” Jamil said.

“The Ice Queen.”

“Yes.”

“Spread a holiday across Twisted Wonderland,” Azul described.

Riddle finally paused. “The King of Halloween?”

“Yes!”

“Scarabia!” the two said in unison.

“The Sorcerer of the Sands!”

“Yes.”

Time ran out. Riddle flipped the phone over.

“Only eight?” Riddle shook his head. “We could have done better.”

The juniors looked at the group in horror.

“That…was fast,” Vil muttered.

“We’re on the same wavelength,” Azul smiled. “It helps that Riddle knows a lot of history.”

“You know it,” Riddle said. “That King of Halloween one almost got me.”

Vil shook his hair out. “Give me the phone. It’s my turn.”

The counter clicked down and the game began.

“He…” Malleus began. “Turned that guy into a frog?”

“What?” Vil asked. 

“Skip!” Idia said.

Vil did so.

“Oh, the guy with the hook,” Idia said.

“The Sea Captain?”

“Yes!”

The next one flashed. It gave Malleus and Idia pause.

Leona smiled. “Remeber that time we almost got kidnapped and turned into puppets?”

“Oh the Friendly Fox?”

“And?”

“And the Gentle Cat.”

Everyone but Leona and Vil were silent until the minute ran out.

“The time you got what?!” Malleus asked.

“We should play something else.”

 

Jamil dealt out the cards while Idia tried to explain the point of the game to Malleus.

“Just put in a card that you think answers the prompt in the funniest way,” he said.

Malleus nodded awkwardly.

“Look at the time,” Vil said. “How about the four who didn’t get a chance to go in Heads Up act as Card Czar and then we pack up?”

“Sounds good to me,” Idia said.

“But we were having so much fun,” Malleus whimpered.

“You act like this will be the last time we play games together,” Leona scoffed.

“I shall go first,” Azul pulled a black card from the deck. In a dramatic voice, he read, “Coming to theaters this holiday season, “Star Wars: The Rise of ____.”

The other six boys looked at their cards.

“Just be funny,” Malleus muttered to himself.

Six cards were stacked in front of Azul. He shuffled them up and began to read.

“Coming to theaters this holiday season, “Star Wars: The Rise of Spiders!”

Jamil jumped.

“Star Wars,” Azul continued, “The Rise of Trying really hard not to cry. Star Wars: The Rise of Politics. Star Wars: The Rise of BULBASAUR.”

“Seriously?” Jamil asked.

“He be rising,” Idia jokes 

“Star Wars: The Rise of Baby Boomers!” Azul suppressed a laugh. “And cocktail weenies. Man, I gotta pick ‘baby boomers. I’m sorry, that broke me.”

Malleus gasped. “That was mine.”

“Nice job,” Vil smiled. “Congrats, Malleus.”

Jamil went next. “What’s keeping Dad so busy in the garage?”

“Hmmm…” Azul thought aloud, perhaps to annoy Jamil.

Jamil collected the six cards and shuffled. “What’s keeping my dad in the garage?” He looked at the first card. “Pork.”

Jamil tossed the card aside. He looked at the next one. “Blasting my math teacher into the sun.”

“No! Crewel!” Vil half screamed. “Tis a shame.”

“A truck,” Jamil continued reading through the cards. “A killer clown. My girlfriend who goes to another school. Unemployment.” He thought for a moment. “I’m going with a killer clown.”

Vil happily took the black card. Malleus pulled a new one off the deck.

“I lost my arm in a ___ accident,” he read.

Azul chuckled to himself.

“You got a good one?” Riddle asked.

“Try me.”

Malleus began to read the cards. “I lost my arm in a lassoing old people accident…alright. I lost my arm in a garbage accident. I lost my arm in a an independent woman accident.”

They all eyed Leona.

“You judge me but women are terrifying.”

“I lost my arm in a being trapped in a vending machine accident.”

“I can see that,” Idia said. “I’ve almost embarrassed myself a lot of times with soda stuck in vending machines.”

“And how’d you fix it?” Jamil asked.

“Ortho.”

Malleus continued. “I lost my arm in a beautiful grandma accident.”

“You might want to check on Lilia,” Leona said.

Malleus rolled his eyes. “I lost my arm in a falling down the stairs accident.” Lilia smirked. “I really should check on Lilia. Let’s go with garbage.”

Riddle made grabby hands at the card.

“Come on!” Idia moaned. “I thought appealing to you old man sensibilities would work.”

“My turn? Great,” Leona grabbed the card. “Oh wait, it’s fun actually. Attention students! Headmage Crowley is at home recovering from __.”

The group chuckled and placed down their final cards.

Azul muttered, “I should have saved the beautiful grandma card for this.”

Leona checked the cards. “Okay. Good ones. Crowley is at home recovering from getting stuck in the toilet. Crowley is at home recovering from eating an entire sleeve of oreos. Crowley is at home recovering from grandma’s hot new boyfriend.”

“Hot grandmas,” Idia joked. 

“Always hot grandmas,” Azul nodded. 

“Crowley is recovering from running away from home. Very in character.” Leona looked at the next card. “This one! This one’s it! Crowley’s at home recovering from having no idea what’s going on!”

Jamil happily took credit for the winning card. But it was unfortunately time to pack up.

“So, what’s next?” Vil asked.

“I’d like a turn,” Riddle said. “We’ll have a tea party.”

Azul smiled. “Sounds fun.”

Jamil and Azul gathered their things and left. Vil joined them shortly after. Riddle collected his cards and left, giving Idia a firm and formal thank you.

Idia, Leona and Malleus were left in the room. Idia wanted to shrink into nothingness.

“Thank you for game night,” Malleus said. “I appreciate it very much, Shroud.”

“It’s nothing,” Idia whispered. 

“Come on, Lizard!” Leona called. “If you stay here any longer, your little Draconians are gonna make my life much harder.”

Malleus sighed. “Lilia should bake you into a steak.”

“You should have been made into an omelette.”

Idia smiled. He’d made friends. They wanted to kill each other, but they were his friends.

Notes:

I'm honestly not as proud of this one. I think it's clunky. Who knows, maybe I'll just abandon this series.