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Lucifer rolled his eyes.
Sure, most people would be shaking in fear if they were slammed against the wall by Alastor’s tentacles with the demon grinning above them, antlers and all.
But Lucifer wasn’t most people. He was an invincible goddamn Morningstar.
“What, this some kinda power play, Bambi?” He smirked, knowing that nickname pissed him off pretty bad last time he used it.
“You would do well to give more respect to the most powerful sinner in Hell.” The radio demon growled as he twirled his repaired staff.
“If you’re shitty enough to be sent here you’re not deserving of respect, buddy.”
The screech of an elk rang out and Alastor’s hand grew large sharp claws. He tilted his head with that wide grin of his.
“Let this be a reminder of who really runs this hotel.” The demon’s claws slashed in a fraction of a second across the angel’s chest.
Lucifer didn’t even flinch as the claws barreled towards him. He was one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Even angelic steel couldn’t do much to him. Claws wouldn’t even break skin.
But as soon as they made contact, he couldn’t help the startled laugh pulled from him.
Ohhhhh that wasn’t good.
It didn’t hurt him, of course. It was pretty much impossible for a sinner to do so.
No. He jumped because that fucking tickled. Really really bad.
If there’s one soul in hell who didn’t need to know how devastatingly ticklish he was, it was the stupid deer in front of him.
“I’ve got to say, it’s rather bold to laugh in the face of the radio demon. Though you’ve been nothing if not brazenly confident since your creation, haven’t you?” His grin tightened and eyes narrowed.
“Yep. That is, uh, that is why I laughed. Yes. To… mock you.” Lucifer replied very convincingly.
The tentacles around his wrists and ankles gripped harder and he reared his claws back for another, larger, swipe.
The slash was indeed more powerful, more pressure behind those pointy claws that raked across his ribs.
Which is why, despite the embarrassment, he snorted and let out a few squeaky giggles.
The radio demon looked frustrated but puzzled, analyzing his face for answers.
Good. That meant he probably hadn’t figured it out yet.
Lucifer cleared his throat loudly. “Ahem! Well, uh, that’s just so… funny. Funny that you’re trying to scare the fucking king of Hell.”
Lucifer gasped as Alastor’s claws wrapped around his sides, the tips digging into his flesh.
From the look on the demon’s face it was still an intimidation tactic, eyes narrowing, clearly pissed that he couldn’t injure him.
But holy fucking shit that tickled so goddamn bad.
His body was trembling and his face reluctantly curled into a helpless grin. His frame shook as he tried to breathe through his urge to laugh.
Alastor growled and his grip tightened.
A loud snort followed by rapid high-pitched giggles tumbled from Lucifer’s mouth.
“S-Stohohohop ihihit! Gehehet- aha- gehehet yohohour clahahahaws off mehehe!”
“Oh?”
Fuck.
“What’s this?”
The claws dragged across his mid section and he shrieked. And, what would be his demise, words fell from his lips he’d do anything to take back.
“FUCK! Nohoho! Stohohop! Plehease! It tickles! STOP!”
“Is that begging I hear?” The deer snarled followed by a smug chuckle. “Not exactly what I had in mind but a true overlord knows how to seize an opportunity.”
"No no no no no-" Lucifer stammered.
Alastor's claws began wiggling at his sides, intentionally tickling this time, and by God was it effective.
Lucifer genuinely squealed and burst into hysterical giggles. He rapidly kicked his feet and tossed his head back and forth as he tugged helplessly at his wrists.
"ACK! Nohohoho! Nohohot thahahahat! Plehehehease!"
"Well, look at that. The king of Hell, the fallen archangel, helpless and begging from something as childish as tickling."
Alastor's insanely pointy and unfairly ticklish claws crawled up his torso.
Again, words tumbled out without a thought.
"NOHO! Nohohot my pihihits! Ahahanywhere but thehehere, plehehehease! Ihihihi'm tohohoo tihihicklish thehehere! Ihihihi'll dihihie!"
Alastor threw his head back and cackled.
"How pathetic! Pleading and outing your own weakness in one go. You really should be more careful, your lowness. Any demon worth their soul would know where to target next."
Lucifer was desperately yanking on his arms to try and cover his weak spot. Any time Lilith had even gently tickled him there before he'd absolutely fallen apart.
Fuck, how STUPID his brain was to say that.
His arms yanked and pulled as Alastor's claws closed in. As soon as they even rested at the sensitive spot Lucifer let out a loud high-pitched shriek.
"AHA! No! Plehehehease dohohohon't!"
Alastor's grin looked more genuine than ever, borderline giddy.
He let out a low rumbling chuckle.
"Tickle, tickle." He spoke so softly yet so tauntingly.
The moment those claws began wriggling into his underarms, Lucifer screamed. His back arched against the wall and powerful cackling ripped itself from his vocal cords.
"OHOHO GOHOHOHOD NOHO! FUHUHUCK! AHAHAHAL! PLEHEHEHEASE- PFFT- STOHOP! PLEHEASE!"
Tears began streaming down his cheeks. Fuck, this wasn't FAIR! Lucifer might've actually PREFERRED the claws to break skin rather than harmlessly stimulate his ticklish nerves.
"I would much prefer screams of agony or despair, but I suppose if you truly are invulnerable, screams of laughter will have to appease me for now. At the end of the day, it still signifies the same thing." Alastor leaned in and huffed warm air across the angel's neck, eliciting a squeal in between peals of laughter. "Pure, raw, helplessness."
Then that fucking deer opened his mouth and chomped his pointed teeth onto Lucifer's neck.
The absolute shock of ticklish energy cause Lucifer to scream at a horribly high pitch, making even Alastor flinch back. With the maddening sensation across his underarms and his neck, his wings flashed out from his back and began flapping wildly from the stimulation.
"Ha-HA! You really are losing your mind, aren't you? To a few itty bitty tickles? What a pitiful display."
Alastor's claws doubled their speed and at that point it went from 'just on this side of bearable' to 'HOLY SHIT GET ME OUT OF HERE' and his angelic grace heeded its master.
In a flash of blinding light, Alastor, his tentacles, the bookshelf next to them, and the fucking wall were all blasted ten feet away with an angelic burst of energy.
Lucifer, unaware his magic was going to do that involuntarily, was wholly unprepared and managed to trip over his own wing and collapse into the crater on the floor, hugging himself tight as he rode out a debilitating fit of giggles.
Past the settling of dust and a lamp teetering over and shattering, Lucifer heard that damn radio voice again, cackling at his expense.
"HA! You literally exploded from laughter!" That stupid voice got closer until it was standing over him. "I understand being ticklish could be seen as a weakness but yours takes the cake, your lowness. What a show!" He cracked up into laughter again.
Lucifer forced down the last of the remaining giggles and pulled himself onto his feet at his full height, still much shorter than the fucking deer.
"Alright, Bambi." The angel snarled. He snapped his fingers and golden shackles appeared and clamped over Alastor's wrists before yanking him to the floor.
Lucifer stood above the radio demon with a grin to match.
"Your turn."