Chapter Text
She loves them.
She loves them so much.
But how much longer does she have to hide that?
When can she really be her true self?
How much longer until her dam finally crumbles and all her secrets and desires are pooled out in front of the ones she cares the most?
Rumi lay motionless in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Yet, her mind was a battlefield, her thoughts raced throughout her head, swirling in her brain. Around her, the packed boxes of clothes, books, and any other practical necessities for the new penthouse stood stacked on top of each other as silent witnesses to the change.
The hunters were moving out of the estate early tomorrow morning. This marks Rumi’s first taste of true freedom, the first time she and her aunt will live under separate roofs. Her smallest gestures won’t be monitored constantly by Celine’s watchful eyes.
It was exciting but also nerve-wracking.
What if she slips up?
What if her girls found out she had been lying to them for the past three years of their training? How everything she told them about her past was a lie.
She still remembers her first encounters with the two hunters.
Zoey had always been sweet, bubbly, and cheery. She was so unguarded, too ungaurded, she has such a kind heart. She trusted Rumi almost the moment they locked eyes. Rumi never liked physical touch, and still isn’t a big fan of it now, except with Zoey. The first time they met, Zoey locked Rumi in an airtight seal with her arms around the taller girl’s torso. Rumi remembers melting into the embrace, letting it calm her nerves and whisk them away.
Mira was the complete opposite of Zoey at first. She was very standoffish, wary, and snippy, but after some time, she also eventually warmed up to her peers. When helping train Mira, Rumi remembers how Mira used to poke, prod, and find any way to get under the braided girl’s skin. She’d make a snarky remark on how she didn’t need training, and she was already good at fighting through her street brawls. Or she would comment on Rumi’s very obvious lack of people skills.
Rumi was home schooled her whole life. The only people she talked to on a consistent basis were Celine and her acquaintances. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know how to communicate with people her own age. She was never given the chance before meeting the two girls.
Mira’s attitude annoyed Rumi a lot at first. Rumi was almost ready to tell Celine that Mira was not fit to be a hunter. That the Honmoon chose wrong, again. But they were able to turn everything around after one or two brawls and screaming matches. Now the three girls are basically inseparable, attached at the hips.
Zoey has the freedom to be her true self, and Mira eventually found that courage and trust too.
But Rumi remains trapped.
Why must she be forced into hiding alone?
Life reserves its most unfair and cruel blows for those who are least prepared to receive them.
Will they ever be able to create the Golden Honmoon with all her lies and secrets?
They have never really seen the real her. Will they ever get to? How can they protect the Honmoon if they don’t know the truth?
But what about Celine?
Celine always told Rumi she must hide and not let her faults and fears be seen. But that’s all Rumi wants. She wants to confess to, to cut herself open and pour out her contents, troubles, secrets, and heart in front of the only two people that might actually understand her.
I taught you all to kill them. And they will kill you.
Don’t risk the Honmoon to satisfy your feelings.
You will never be as close to them as they are to each other. Accept the fact, and it will make it a lot easier on yourself.
Celine isn’t a bad mom.
But she’s also not a mom, at least that’s not how she sees it.
Celine never saw Rumi as her daughter; to her, she was the leader of the next generation of hunters, her student, the daughter of her deceased friend. And the daughter of the one who took that friend away.
The daughter of her best friend and the enemy she was sworn to kill.
Rumi felt like Celine resented her for something so far out of her control as the years went by. She remembered the nights she’d return from training in the fields and forest and be greeted with the acidic smell of alcohol that lingered throughout the house. Tin can’s and glass bottles littered the tile floors of the complex where her aunt lay.
It should have been me, not her.
She never deserved such a fate.
I failed her once, but I refuse to fail her again, to fail you again.
You will train until her weakness is gone. I will not let you follow her footsteps. Or mine.
She was only seven when her mentor first delivered a statement like that. Even at her age, Rumi’s mind was able to decipher the deep, underlying current of guilt and hatred that resided within the older woman.
Celine’s behaviors improved significantly when Mira and Zoey came along. She took them in and taught them everything she taught Rumi, except for one major thing. She never encouraged them to hide from each other. She taught them the Honmoon was built on bonds of hunters and trust.
Trust that Rumi could never return.
“Maybe they will understand?” Rumi winced
“No!” Celine shouted, slamming her fist into the table, “I will not lose you! Not again! You are a demon. Hunters kill demons. And demons kill Hunters. It’s an endless cycle until we can achieve the Golden Honmoon.”
“How can we achieve that when there are so many lies pulling us apart. I feel so separated, disconnected from those two.” Rumi played with the hem of her sleeves. “It will be different this time, I’ll make sure of it. If we go about it the right way and not in a dire situation where all our adrenaline is spiked, and we can think clearly, then maybe-”
“No. My answer is final. You are dismissed,” Celine snapped, Rumi flinched
Rumi retreated from the room without a word. When closing the door to Celine’s office, she swore she could hear the elderly woman let out a choked sob, whispering apologies to her departed companion.
A scream bounced off the walls of the mansion corridors, snapping Rumi out of her thoughts. She flung the covers off herself and jolted out of bed. Her feet got tangled up in the sheets she had hastily thrown onto the floor, and she met the cold, planked floor of her childhood bedroom with a thud.
“Ow” the vocalist muttered to herself, bringing a hand to her cheek to soothe it. She glanced up at her bedside clock.
2:37 A.M.
“ew, ew, ew, EW!” a voice shrieked
Zoey
That’s Zoey’s voice.
“Go back to whatever demonic hell hole you came from!” another voice erupted. The clattering of objects followed suit.
And Mira
Demonic?
Were there demons in the homestead?!
Rumi quickly scuffled out of her room, careful not to knock over her towering boxes, and made her way to Zoey’s room.
She summoned her sword and kicked down Zoey’s door in one swift motion. She was met with the sight of Zoey standing on her disheveled desk, dressed in her turtle pajamas, clutching a pillow tight to her chest as though it were her lifeline. Her not-so-organized desk and the surrounding floor were now completely trashed with papers, makeup products, pens, and trinkets astray. Besides her, Mira was wearing her iconic polar bear pajamas as well; she had a bend in her knees, ready to pounce at any moment.
Both of their gazes were focused on the ground. Rumi held her sword in front of herself, ready to attack.
Is the tear coming from the ground? How many are there? Are the girls hurt?
“Rumi! You’re here!!” Zoey beamed with a toothy grin. “We’ve got our situation under control now. Mira’s gonna light this hell spawn UPPP!” Rumi looked back at Mira to see her wielding some sort of aerosol can and a lighter; the can was pointed towards a fluffy pink rug that lay in front of a disheveled bed. Rumi didn’t question why the pink hair girl was in Zoey’s room at this hour. She was focused on the much bigger issue.
“What?” Rumi tilted her head in confusion and lowered her eyes. She looked back at the rug and squinted. She inspected it, looking for any signs of a tear in the barrier.
There were none. She sensed none too.
Then she noticed the slight scatter of a small fleck hidden in the fur of the rug. It looked to be a piece of lint or the singular drop of coffee that left the smallest stain.
Mira let out a guttural shriek, something Rumi nor Zoey had heard or even imagined coming out of Mira’s lungs
“IT MOVED! IT FUCKING MOVED!!” The pink-haired girl screeched.
Then it clicked. There lay something Mira and Zoey feared more than the demon king himself.
A spider
Rumi had gotten out of bed and practically flew over here, expecting a battle.
With demons
Not a spider
Rumi’s thoughts were interrupted when she heard a faint hissing sound and persistent clicks. Mira was spraying the can of what looked to be a hair spray and aimed it at the rug.
She was going to light the spider on fire. On a rug… that will also very flammable.
Rumi rushed over and snatched the can out of Mira’s hands and held her other wrist that contained the lighter.
“So, I woke up to what sounded like Zoey being skinned alive. I rushed in here, preparing for a fight.” Rumi took a deep inhale to calm her nerves and continued, “I didn’t know the fight was with a spider… not even the size of a grain of rice.” Rumi scoffed, shaking her head in disappointment at the other hunters.
“You two are so lucky that Celine is on a business trip, if not, we would be running laps for the next hour. In our pajamas” Rumi placed the can of hair spray onto the desk that Zoey remained on and grabbed a stray piece of paper from the floor. She then grabbed one of the many cups that littered Zoey’s room. She placed the paper in front of the spider and used the cup to coax it onto the sheet. She then enclosed it and stood up with a sigh.
“We literally just fought a horde of demons right before supper. Demons that take our souls. I didn’t know an insect is where you guys draw the line.” Rumi muttered to herself, walking out of the room, spider in hand.
“It’s an arachnid, actually,” Zoey corrected, hopping off her desk with a thud. Mira snorted as her hand shot up to her mouth to muffle the noise.
Rumi halted at the doorway, closed her eyes took another deep breath. She craned her neck and gave them a glare that sent chills down their spines.
“Before we start correcting me on my bug terminology, why don’t you teach Mira some tips about fire safety and how not to burn down the estate?” The lyricist and the choreographer looked at each other with worried expressions.
“And I hope you two are tired now. Because we have a busy day tomorrow and were supposed to be up in…. four hours to drive to Seoul to move into the new penthouse. And by the looks of it, it does not seem like you are packed, Zoey.” Rumi grumbled, looking around the disheveled room, feeling an unsettling anxiety growing in her stomach about how she is not packed yet.
“SHIT, FOUR HOURS! When did it get so late! It’s okay, just give me 20 minutes!” Zoey gasped as she raced around her room collecting her belongings and chucking them into unorganized piles. Rumi recoiled at the sight; it bugged her inner neat freak that Zoey would just toss all her belongings in one pile to get ready to move out.
“I… have some extra boxes in my room. You can go ahead and take them,” Rumi stated as she walked out of the youngest girl’s room
“Ok, I’m almost done. Mira, grab me my-” Rumi closed the door of the lyricist’s room
“Weirdos,” Rumi smiled warmly. She turned away, spider in hand, and made her way onto the patio that was overflowing with different types of potted plants. She slid the glass door open with one hand, placing her other underneath the paper and cup that contained the little guy. She was met with the cold night breeze from the outside. She then crouched down by a nearby plant, unveiling the cup and wiggling the spider onto a leaf.
She expected it to dart away, hide in the foliage of the plant, and hope to never be seen by any human again. But much to her surprise, it just sat there. Rumi stared into its beady black eyes. It looked like no survival instincts were being processed behind that face.
“You’re not the brightest, are you? You can leave now,” she spoke softly, nudging the arachnid with her index finger to persuade it to move and hide away. It did not budge; it just continued to stare up with those eyes at the purple haired girl
“I’m sorry about my friends; they shouldn’t have reacted like that. I guess they just really don’t like spiders.” Rumi chuckled.
“You and I aren’t so different, ya know. You’re a spider, your kind are often feared, seen as creepy, ugly, and dangerous.” Rumi smirked, finding it ironic that she found the fella kinda cute. She continued, “Yea sure, some spiders are those things, but they give all spiders a bad name. But spiders can help keep those nasty insects from eating the leaves of my plants,” She giggled to herself
“There are these things called demons. Not sure if you heard of them. Demons are feared, have been for centuries. And my bandmates are supposed to kill them all and create a barrier with our voices that prevents them and their king from entering the human world. Demons steal souls, human souls, and feed them to their king. They cause havoc, and lots of innocent people get hurt because of it.” Rumi looked down at her arms, where her own demon patterns resided underneath the clothed sleeves of her hoodie.
Was she really having a conversation with a spider? Was she really that lonely, that isolated. She cringed at the thought of someone overhearing her confess her deepest feelings and thoughts to an insect. But she continued nonetheless.
“I am half demon. My father was a demon, my mother was a human, a demon hunter, in fact. Just like me, Mira, and Zoey. She was supposed to kill demons. So how could she have a child with one… why did she have me?” Rumi questioned as she felt a single tear run down her cheek. She wiped it away with the heel of her hand and continued.
“Mira and Zoey don’t know. They are not supposed to know. They can’t know. My aunt, Celine, had taught us all that demons were evil, they all needed to be put down, killed, shown no mercy.” If Mira and Zoey saw that she was a demon, would they react in a similar manner?
“But then, why am I here then? Why did she not kill me the moment I was born? I still have faint memories of my mom and dad. They loved each other, clearly. So maybe, not all demons can be bad, just like how not all spiders are bad. Unless… he was using her. I was young, maybe I didn’t see the signs then. But from what I remember, he was a great father.”
Memories of Rumi’s father swarm her head. The times her held her when she got scraped knees, the times he took her to ice cream after running errands with him and her mom, even when she threw her tantrums, how he comforted her and told her how life is unfair, but that she could learn to make it work because she was the strongest person he had ever met.
“I don’t think I am evil, but I don’t know. I never really talked about this with my father or mother before they passed when I was young. I always think about how Zoey and Mira would react to seeing my patterns. Would they try to kill me? See me as just another demon?” She recoiled at the thought.
“I have nightmares of them killing me, laughing as I scream and beg them to stop or just end it quickly, but they always fall onto deaf ears. On rarer occasions, it’s the other way around. Those are the ones that truly haunt me. I fight back, I overpower them, and I win. Their blood soaks my clothes, crusting beneath my own claws. The instinct to protect them is betrayed by a sudden, untamed rage. Those are the worst ones. I never want to hurt them, yet in every dream, I’m left feeling like a… demon… no different than the ones we kill.” Rumi let out a choked sob
“I know I may not be the easiest to get along with; I grew up sheltered, I was told I was going to be a great singer, a strong hunter, that I’m just like my mother. But it becomes too much sometimes, the expectations. Sometimes I feel as though my aunt sees me as my mother, not as… me. I get upset at this, I snap back sometimes, not even at her, but at my team. What type of leader am I if I can’t even control my emotions? I know me and the girls may joke about demons not having emotions, that they don’t feel anything, they’re just soul-snatching puppets for their king. But I feel like that’s all I do, all I do is feel. The good and the bad. I-I just don’t get it. What makes me different from them? Am I even different?” Rumi sat there for a moment in silence with her new eight-legged friend, recollecting her thoughts and composure.
“Are we even different, or am I bound to have the same fate as every other demon we faced?” Rumi asked the spider, and it remained still, not moving an inch from when she first placed it on that leaf.
“Uh, thank you for listening to me ramble. It’s nice having someone- I mean something- to listen to my thoughts. I’ll- um- see you around. Or not actually we’re moving tomorrow, and I don’t know when I’ll be back, and like how long you spider live for-“ Rumi paused, immediately regretting her cruelty in telling the spider it wouldn’t live long enough to see her return. She resumed after collecting her thoughts
“Um… can you do me a favor, and take care of my plants? Just like protect them from being eaten. Please.” For the first time since the start conversation, the spider actually moved. It retreated slightly into the cover of the plant it was resting on, then returned its sets of eyes back to the half demon.
“Thank you.” she said with gratitude toward the little guy. There was another moment of brief silence in between her next words, “Goodnight!” She shot up a little flustered from her antics, and gave a small wave to her friend.
Rumi was about to return inside when she caught something in the corner of her eye. It was her mother’s headstone in the distance, a dried bouquet of flowers lay in front of it.
I hope I can make you proud.
Rumi thought to herself as she turned towards the indoors, opening the sliding door once again.
She felt lighter, somehow. Maybe this really wasn’t as weird as she made it out to be.
This may be the closest thing Rumi gets to therapy, so she’ll certainly take it as a win
Rumi entered her room and froze at the sight before her. Zoey was lying on Mira’s chest as they scrolled through Mira’s phone. Both girls were lying under her covers.
“Uuhhh, whaaat are you two doing in my bed??” Rumi froze in the entrance way between her room and the hallway.
“Well, Mira was worried th-” Zoey shot up from the covers
“HEY! I was not!” Mira interpreted, placing a hand to cover Zoey’s mouth, muffling her next word. Zoey ripped Mira’s hand off her face.
“SHHH, I’m speaking!” Zoey shouted as she placed her pointer finger on the pink-haired girl’s lips, making a shushing gesture. Mira just rolled her eyes and scoffed. “She was worried that the spider had friends hiding away because my room is ‘messy‘ and they would come to get her in the middle of the night. She deemed your room to be spider-free because of how much of a clean freak you are, and if there was another spider, you would snatch it for us. Mira likes a girl who can protect her.” Zoey teased and slapped both her hands onto the taller girl’s mouth, silencing her once again. The choreographer grumbled and tried prying them off, but the smaller girl held her ground.
“You two are so weird. Fine, we can have a sleepover.” Rumi was too tired to argue, so she just accepted that her bed would be a little crowded tonight. She was also wearing a long-sleeved shirt under her hoodie, so if by chance it rode up her arms, she would have another layer of protection from the girl’s sleepy gazes.
“Yaaay!” The youngest girl exclaimed. Rumi squeezed in on the bedside next to Zoey and got under the covers, resting her head on the pillow. She looked up to see a pouting Zoey looking right back down at her.
“What? Zoey, what’s wr- Hey!” Zoey was crawling on top of Rumi and over her to get to the edge of the bed, now leaving Rumi in the middle with a large gap between her and Mira.
“I want the edge! I had a lot to drink, so I know I’m going to get up a lot tonight.” The smaller girl said as she wrapped her arms tightly around Rumi’s torso, pressing her forehead into the older girl’s back. Like a koala attached to its tree trunk.
“You’re so weird,” Rumi grumbled, reaching out for Mira to bring her in closer. The older girl obliged, wrapping her arm around both girls.
“You love us” Zoey squeezed around Rumi’s torso tighter
“Yeah, I do. Even if you almost burned down the estate.” Rumi chuckled
“It shouldn’t be in here; it is its own fault.” Mira retorted
“Sure, whatever you say.” Rumi rolled her eyes. “Now go to bed, we have to get up early,” Rumi mumbled as Mira and Zoey groaned simultaneously. Mira pulled Rumi in closer to her chest and tightened her grip around both girls.
A few moments of silence went by before Mira’s voice peeped up again.
“So… you killed that spider. Right?” Mira questioned, not letting go of her grip on either girl
“Nope. He’s guarding my plants from unwanted insects while we’re away” Rumi informed, lifting up her head slightly, meeting Mira’s sleepy gaze with a smug smirk.
“WHY! WHY IS IT STILL HERE!!” Mira shrieked.
“He’s really not that bad, he was kinda cute… and stupid. He reminded me of a lot like some other people I know” Rumi hinted at
“Bitch” Zoey said, not moving her position in the slightest. She knew that comment was directed towards them.
“Great, you gave it a home, can’t wait for it to tell all its little spider friends that the lady who was supposed kill it, offered it a mansion with an all-you-can-eat buffet included!” Mira huffed
“You know. I never heard such high notes from either of you two. Guess we gotta start incorporating those into our upcoming albums.” Rumi joked
“noooooo” Zoey yawned, which was muffled by the cloth lining Rumi’s back
“Just kidding. Go to sleep, both of you,” Rumi giggled before finally dozing off for the night
I’m sorry
They have a place in her heart that no one else can touch
She would turn herself into their armor and protect them from any danger if possible
They are the solid ground beneath her shifting feet
The words were lodged in her throat, a truth she desperately wanted to speak but couldn’t. Tomorrow, when they sealed the barrier, no, not if, but when, she would finally tell her girls what was truly in her heart.
“I love you guys.” Rumi confessed
More than you’ll ever know.