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Tim heard some things crash around in the bathroom followed up by a soft curse as Jay presumably scrambled to pick up whatever had fallen over. He had disappeared into the bathroom about thirty minutes prior because it was time for him to change out his foam dressing on his healing surgery wound. Tim had tried convincing him to let him help, but Jay wouldn’t let him. Tim couldn’t exactly blame him and he didn’t want to force him into anything, so he let him be. Now though, he was starting to wonder if that was really the best idea. The worst thing Jay could do would be straining himself and ripping his stitches open.
At the moment, they were still stuck in Alabama moving from hotel to hotel since Jay’s doctors were here, but they were able to afford nicer ones now since Tim was able to get a job. Jay felt bad for not contributing much and he was going a little stir crazy without something to do like editing footage, but Tim made sure to always reassure him whenever that topic came up. The idiot of a man was injured and should be on borderline bed rest, and yet he was still worried about not pulling his weight. And somehow, it just endeared him to Tim even more.
“Jay? You good in there?”
He head Jay groan in frustration before responding shortly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Do you need help?” Tim asked, already knowing what answer he would get.
“No. I’m fine.” Jay said before Tim heard what sounding like him slamming his hands on the counter.
“Jay… Let me help you, your doctor said it would be hard to re-wrap the injury on your own anyway,” Tim said, leaning his shoulder up against the bathroom door.
Jay had been discharged about a week ago, and was only now given the go ahead to take care of the wound on his own. He had been instructed to follow up if he noticed infection or the stitches ripping, but so far things had been relatively fine all things considered. The bullet had lodged itself in Jay’s side and they had to hurry him through surgery to get it out before he bled out. They said if Tim had gotten there any later, Jay likely would’ve died. Tim shook the image of Jay lying on the floor, bleeding and half gone already, from his mind, focusing back on what was happening in the present.
Jay didn’t respond for a while before Tim head the door nob twist as he backed away. For a lack of better word, Jay looked almost ashamed and he avoided eye contact with Tim as he took in the state of the bathroom. The special antibiotics the hospital had given him were spilled over the counter and Jay’s shirt was thrown haphazardly on the floor. The bandages he was supposed to use were scattered over the counter-top and Jay had his arms wrapped around himself, almost trying to shield himself from Tim’s gaze.
In Jay’s defense, Tim couldn’t stop himself from staring, his eyes trailing across Jay’s torso before landing on the jagged scar that spread out from his side. It was almost beautiful to see physical proof of what Jay had gone through and how he was still alive despite it. Despite himself, Tim wanted to reach out and gently run his fingers around the wound—he wanted to feel Jay lean into his touch ever so slightly. Realizing he had been staring for far too long, Tim lifted his eyes to meet Jay’s, who was still looking away.
“Will you let me help you now?” Tim asked, his voice coming out softer than he expected it to.
Jay sighed and nodded, stepping out of the doorway to let Tim inside.
“Did you already clean it?”
“Yeah, that was the one thing I was able to do,” Jay responded sardonically. “This is pathetic.”
“Jay you were shot and had to have a very invasive surgery. I would be worried if you didn’t need help with things like this,” Tim stated, raising an eyebrow at the other man.
Jay just shrugged in response, still seemingly shrinking away from Tim in the small room. Tim quickly washed his hands in the sink before grabbing the bandages and a prescribed antibiotic ointment off of the counter and sitting on the lid of the toilet, gesturing for Jay to move over to him so he could be about eye level with Jay’s lower stomach. He walked over to Tim slowly, as if still hesitant to let Tim help him.
“I’m sorry if this is making you uncomfortable, I just don’t want you to risk opening the wound back up because you were trying to do this yourself,” Tim said, looking up at him.
“It’s fine. I’m not… I’m not uncomfortable,” Jay replied, his body language contradicting his words. “I just don’t like you seeing me like this, I don’t know, it’s stupid. I don’t want to put this burden on you, I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me when I should be perfectly capable of doing it myself,” Jay rambled.
“Jay look at me,” Tim said looking up at him as he let his eyes slowly meet Tim’s. Tim grabbed one of Jay’s hands before he spoke.
“You almost died. You would’ve died if I didn’t find you soon enough. You shouldn’t even be walking around much right now but you’re too stubborn to listen to me. You aren’t a burden to me, you could never be a burden to me. Let me take care of you because I want to, at the very least. Pretend you’re doing this for my sake instead of your own…”
Jay didn’t say anything but Tim watched several emotions flicker in his eyes, but he couldn’t quite name any of them. Jay sighed and looked down, avoiding Tim’s eyes again, but he did nod. Tim gave Jay’s hand a squeeze before releasing it, not noticing how Jay briefly chased Tim’s hand before dropping his own to his side.
Tim reached out to Jay’s injury, freezing before he did anything. “I’ll try to be as gentle as possible and get this over quick for you, tell me to stop if anything hurts, okay?”
“Okay.”
Tim briefly inspected the injury to make sure it wasn’t infected or bleeding before he gently placed his fingers on the jagged flesh just above Jay’s waistband, carefully spreading the antibiotic ointment on the surface of the healing incisions. Jay’s skin was cold to the touch, and Tim almost thought he noticed Jay shiver a bit as his fingers softly ran along his skin. They were so close now, Jay was standing so that Tim’s knee was between his upper calves so Tim could easily see what he was doing. He had to make a conscious effort to stop his eyes from wandering as he adhered the bandages around the infliction, not allowing himself to get lost staring again.
Tim truly had no ulterior motives for doing this, but he’d be stupid to not recognize how much he enjoyed being this close to Jay and how he enjoyed being able to care for him, even when Jay didn’t want him to. Tim finished up dressing the injury, his hand lingering on Jay’s side for just a second too long before he pulled away and leaned back. Jay stepped away as well, but he wasn’t as physically closed off as he was before.
Jay grabbed his shirt from where he had thrown it on the floor and moved to put it over his head, wincing slightly as he did so, likely aggravating his side with the movement of his arm. Tim tried to keep quiet and let Jay sort this out on his own, but quickly gave up as Jay’s expression grew more pained.
“Stop, let me help,” Tim said, standing up. He didn’t move over to Jay immediately, giving him time to tell Tim no. This time if he denied the help, Tim would’ve listened—even he knew this may have been a step too far.
Jay huffed, but he held his shirt out to Tim without argument. Tim took it from him, not sure if he was imagining the slight flush to Jay’s cheeks. Jay held out his arms as he slowly slipped them through the holes in the shirt before pulling it over Jay’s head, his hands accidentally brushing against his hair. Tim pulled the shirt down, careful to not bump Jay’s side before stepping away, giving Jay his space back.
“Thanks… Sorry,” Jay mumbled.
“I already told you, it’s fine. Now will you please go lay down and rest?”
“Fine,” Jay grumbled, trudging out of the bathroom and to their shared little living area where he promptly collapsed onto the folded up futon. Tim just shook his head fondly before following him, fully prepared to spend the rest of his day curled up on that crappy couch by his side.