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Sayeon opened the door into headquarters. She held it open and gave Ryujin a nod to go through first. Ryujin stepped through into headquarters and Sayeon followed behind her. They hadn’t spoken since their talk on the bridge. Sayeon hoped that it had worked out well enough for their fighting to stop. Continual fights would do little to earn Ryujin’s trust.
Sayeon sighed, walking after Ryujin. At least she had the faith of Min and-
“Sayeon?” Iseul stepped from the hall leading to the dorms. His face was set in grim determination. Ahead, Ryujin stopped and half turned towards them. “I need to talk to you about something.”
Sayeon blinked, surprised. It sounded serious. Was Min, perhaps, not doing as well as she’d assumed? “...Okay?”
Iseul forced a breath through his nose like he was struggling. “Uh, Ryujin? Can you come too?” He paused, shifting. Uncomfortable. “I think I’m gonna need your back up for this one.”
Ryujin raised an eyebrow. She trudged back towards them and stopped a pace away. “Alright.” Ryujin cast her gaze to the wall, away from them both. “Can’t guarantee my help, but sure.”
Iseul gave her a tight smile. “Let’s take this to the gym.” He turned and started walking down the hall, taking the first turn that would lead them to the gym. “I don’t want to wake anyone.”
Sayeon and Ryujin shared a look before following him. Whatever this was, Iseul wasn’t acting right.
“You want me… to step down as cell leader.” Sayeon felt a pit form in her stomach. Surely, he wasn’t serious. Behind Iseul, Ryujin’s eyes widened.
“Yeah. You’re not doing as good a job as I thought you would.” Iseul glared down at her. This was the first time Sayeon had ever seen him unhappy.
“But… that means…”
“Look, because of you, Min got really hurt.” Iseul ground his teeth together. “He could have died, Sayeon.”
Because all you’ve ever done is hurt people–
Sayeon shoved the thought away. He couldn’t possibly mean for her to-
“Sayeon’s not that bad.”
Iseul jumped and turned towards Ryujin, who had finally spoken up. “
I mean, Glasses definitely has room for improvement.” Ryujin scoffed. “But she’s not awful.”
“She threatened a kid at knife point. No questions asked. She just did it.”
“My gift–”
“I don’t care.”
Sayeon flinched.
Because you’re no good to anybody
“Iseul… stepping down– That’s”
“The only good thing you could ever do for us.”
Ryujin stomped up and grabbed his shoulder. She forced him to turn back towards her. “That’s too far.” She snarled.
Maybe you think the world needs saving,
“It’s not, Ryujin, she really–”
“She really just needs time!”
Because you think it’s filled with people like you.
Sayeon tuned out the argument. Ryujin defending her, Iseul fighting to force her into–
“Trainee Lee. Your cell has selected you as their leader.”
Sayeon stood facing Instructor Sang across her desk. Once again alone in her office.
“Do you accept this responsibility?”
Sayeon did more than accept. She craved it.
“I do, Instructor.”
“Then you should know it is a position for life. Until you or all your cellmates die or graduate into officers, you are their leader.”
Sayeon nodded. “I understand.” I
nstructor Sang stared at her for a moment. Then, that same odd, approving smile crossed her face. The same one she had after capture the flag. “Good. You are dismissed.”
The world will never become a better place…
“It’s okay, Ryujin. I’ll step down.” Sayeon spoke up, stomach churning. In an instant, the shouting stopped.
Ryujin and Iseul froze. Ryujin let go of Iseul’s shoulder and stepped back. She shoved her hands into her pockets and tilted her head down enough that Sayeon couldn’t see most of her face under the brim of her hat.
“You- you will?” Iseul sounded hopeful. Sayeon felt nauseous.
“Yeah. I’ll take care of it tonight. It’ll be over before you wake up.” Sayeon forced a smile onto her face. He was happy she was going to kill herself. Sayeon swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You guys go on ahead to bed.”
“Okay!” Iseul strode past her, towards the exit. Sayeon turned to watch him leave. He paused in the doorway, halfway gone. He looked back at her, smiling. “Thank you for being so understanding, Sayeon.” He left, with no further word.
Sayeon’s eyes burned.
“Glasses?”
“Go to bed, Baldie.”
Ryujin went silent. She trudged past Sayeon and turned towards the dorms. Sayeon waited until her footsteps faded completely. Then she dropped to her knees and hunched over until her forehead touched the floor. Sayeon choked back sobs, not wanting anyone to hear her.
As long as there’s someone like me living in it.
Ryujin jumped awake, someone shaking her. “Ryujin! You need to get up.” Dahee. “Do you know where Sayeon is?”
Sayeon wasn’t the one waking her up. Odd. Ryujin pried her eyes open, and turned to look at Sayeon’s bed. Something was wrong.
Sayeon’s rabbit was set on her bed. On Sayeon’s bed, her glasses lay, without the lenses. Ryujin sat up. She couldn’t sense Sayeon’s aura.
Remembering the conversation with Iseul, Ryujin’s stomach went cold. Sayeon had been acting off when Iseul asked her to step down. Ryujin had waited near the gym for Sayoen to come out after them, but had left when she heard her breakdown into tears. Sayeon had repeatedly tried to tell Iseul something before Ryujin started arguing with him.
“Ryujin?”
Ryujin quickly sat up fully and got out of bed, suddenly wide awake. She quickly pushed past Dahee and Tsubaki, towards the door. She didn’t even slip on her shoes. Just walked straight out in her socks. She stepped out into the hall and turned towards the bathrooms.
She had to be wrong.
Stepping down couldn’t mean that.
Ryujin broke into a sprint. She heard two pairs of footsteps following her. Probably Dahee and Tsubaki.
Ryujin slipped as she turned into the bathroom. Bile rose in her throat as the first thing she noted was the scent of blood. A fucking lot of it. The second thing was the broken glass on the floor in front of the shower stall furthest from the door. Enough for a pair of glasses.
Ryujin’s legs trembled as she crept to the shower stall. The curtain was pulled shut, but she could see the red staining the bottom. She pulled it open.
She shouldn’t have walked away when she heard Sayeon crying in the gym.
Sayeon was curled up, leaning against the wall of the shower. There was a single, larger shard of glass was sitting in the pool of blood, partailly still in Sayeon’s hand. Her jacket was discarded on the floor. Her shirt sleeves were rolled up. On both arms, from wrist to elbow were four deep gashes. Side by side. One leg had a deep puncture, through the pants and into her thigh. A final puncture into her throat.
Sayeon’s shirt was almost completely red. The walls of the shower were splattered with dried blood, from where it had sprayed from her arteries. Sayeon’s chest didn't raise or fall with breath.
Ryujin dropped to her knees, uncaring of the glass slicing into her skin. Ryujin ignored the gasp behind her followed by footsteps running away. She shakily reached a hand to Sayeon’s throat. She pressed two fingers to the unharmed side of Sayeon’s neck. There was no pulse under her fingers and Sayeon’s skin was colder than the air around them.
Ryujin’s stomach churned. Her eyes burned and tears spilled over. Sayeon had just been here.
Guilt wracked Ryujin.
She could have fucking stopped this.
Not walked away when she was crying.
Argued harder against Iseul’s stupid fucking idea.
She could have done anything different.
She should have done something different.
Ryujin turned away from Sayeon, and threw up.
“Cell four.” Iseul kept his head down against the table in front of him. “You must vote for a new cell leader.” Instructor Sang and Juni stood at the front of the debriefing room. He didn’t want a new leader anymore.
Juni and Min hadn’t looked at him since the morning, when the girls had found Sayeon. Ryujin hadn’t stopped glaring at him. Not since she laid eyes on him. He couldn’t blame her.
He hadn’t known about the rule for cell leaders.
He should have read the rule book better.
He glanced at Sayeon’s usual seat from the corner of his eye. It was empty.
“Cell four.”
“Anyone but Kim.” Ryujin’s voice came out venomous. He wasn’t upset with being the object of her blame. He blamed himself too.
He’d vote for Sayeon again, if only to have her back.