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“David, are you sure you’re okay with this? It seemed like a good idea, but now that it’s here I feel terrible.”
They were at Patrick’s apartment, the night before his parents were coming to visit, and Patrick was starting to freak out.
“Patrick, we’ve been over this. It’s fine. Coming out is something very personal and if you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I can just be your business partner.”
“I know. But it’s one thing to not tell them about us - it’s quite another to put on this whole ruse with Stevie. God, I wish I would have never told them I was dating someone. I just wanted them off my back about Rachel and I thought by giving them that, they’d drop it. Maybe I should tell them we broke up? That’s plausible, right?”
“Patrick, you’re overthinking this. It’s only a few days.”
“But…it’s Christmas.”
“Yeah…I know.”
“I wanted to spend it together,” Patrick replied somberly.
“We will. Just not together, together.” David tried to be supportive and reassuring. “Remember, I’m coming over to spend the day with all of you at Ray’s.”
“God, how am I going to be in the same room as you and not touch you? Not kiss you?”
“We do what we have to do.” David leaned in for a slow kiss that Patrick deepened.
“They’re not coming until tomorrow. We still have all night….” Patrick went back in for more.
~~~~~
The next morning they were working the store, busy with last minute holiday shoppers. Patrick was radiating nervous energy, so during a lull in customers, David tried to settle his nerves. He knew that Patrick did well with a plan.
“Let’s go over things one more time,” David said.
“My parents are going to come straight here when they get into town. Stevie’s going to meet us here and all four of us are going to the cafe for lunch.”
“Right. Okay.” David nodded his head over and over.
“You’re upset.”
“I’m not upset, Patrick. Really, I’m not. I’m all in on this, it’s just…difficult - that’s all. I’m going to be a little jealous of Stevie for a few days.” David tried for a playful smile.
“Okay. I had them come straight here so they could meet you first. I want them to meet you, David, and get to know you. Even if they can’t do that knowing you’re my partner yet.”
“I know. I can’t wait.”
“Just double checking - you told your family about the plan, right? They won’t say anything at the motel?” Patrick asked.
“No, I threatened their lives,” David paused. “And my mom’s wig collection. And you told Ray? I’m sure he was able to pass along the information more quickly than anyone else around.”
“Yes. That was not a fun conversation - I had to hold him back from announcing it on his podcast. And Stevie told Twyla so she could spread the news at the cafe. I think we’ve covered all of our bases. I just hope it works.”
“It will, honey. And remember, it's only for a few days.”
They worked side by side the rest of the morning, stealing soft touches and quick kisses as often as possible. Finally, a text came through that his parents were almost to Schitt’s Creek.
“They’ll be here in ten minutes, David,” Patrick said nervously.
David gave him a soft smile. He wanted to drag Patrick to the backroom for ten more minutes of making out, but David knew that’s not what he needed. He crossed the store, wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him tightly until the door chimed announcing a new customer and they distracted themselves with making the sale. When Clint and Marcy entered the store a few minutes later, Patrick was busy at the register.
“Hey guys, take a look around for a minute while I finish up here.”
He didn’t have to worry. David swooped right in to greet them, “You must be Mr. and Mrs. Brewer, welcome to Rose Apothecary!”
By the time Patrick was finished at the counter, David was deep in conversation with Marcy and Clint about the knitted throws. He took a minute to watch and listen, to soak it all in, to see his two worlds colliding. He wished he was ready to tell them. He wished they knew David was his partner in more than just business. Suddenly he realized his dad was watching him….watching him smiling fondly at David…watching him with a curious look on his face. Man, not even ten minutes into this charade and he was already screwing up. Clint looked at David, then back at Patrick like he was piecing something together. Thankfully, the bell chimed as Stevie opened the door, breaking the moment.
“Oh good, Stevie, you’re here!” Patrick exclaimed with maybe a little too much enthusiasm.
“Of course I’m here. You texted me that your parents had arrived and I came right over.”
“Right.”
Patrick rounded the counter and approached Stevie, giving her a stilted hug. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the back.
“Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Stevie - my…girlfriend.” Patrick tried not to wince, and gave his most convincing smile.
“Oh, it’s so good to finally meet you!” Marcy wrapped Stevie up in a big hug while Stevie gave a desperate look to Patrick.
Patrick glanced at David who had plastered on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Okay, Marce, let the girl breathe,” Clint chimed in to rescue Stevie, while reaching his hand to her for a handshake. “Clint Brewer, it’s very nice to meet the person that has made our son so happy for the past few months.”
“O-kaaay,” Stevie replied as David sucked in a breath that he hoped the Brewers didn't notice.
“Even before he admitted that you two were dating, we could just hear a change in his voice. He’s happier than we’ve seen him in years,” Marcy replied gleefully.
David cleared his throat, “Why don’t you all go have lunch and catch up.”
“Yeah, let’s head that way,” Patrick responded. “You sure you’re okay here by yourself?”
“Yes, Alexis should be here any minute to help.”
“Okay.” But Patrick didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay and check in with David - wanted to make sure he was okay.
Stevie pulled on his arm. “He’ll be fine, babe. Come on, I’m starving.”
Patrick reluctantly turned and walked out the door with Stevie still clinging to his arm and his parents following.
~~~~~
Lunch was…..fine. It was fine. Stevie put on a surprisingly good show, fawning all over Patrick and buttering up the Brewers. It was Patrick who was awkward - flinching slightly at Stevie’s touches, stumbling over details of their relationship (that they had gone over more than once), and doing a terrible job of selling his feelings for her. No worries, though. He could just chalk it up to nerves about introducing her to his parents. Probably.
“Well, this has been really nice, but I do need to get back to the motel. It was great to meet you both and your room is ready and waiting for you.” Wow, Stevie was actually a really good actress.
“Patty, why don’t you walk Stevie back. Your dad and I want to check out the store a little more and then we’ll drive over.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary. Right, Stevie?” Patrick was itching to get back to the store, to David. “She’s fine walking by herself.”
“Nonsense, son. What kind of gentleman lets his girlfriend walk alone?”
“Dad, it’s Schitt’s Creek. And it’s the middle of the day.”
“Patrick. I raised you better than that,” Clint scolded, then immediately turned to teasing. “Besides, I’m sure you two want a few minutes to yourselves without us around, right?” Then he winked.
Stevie tried not to grimace and smiled lovingly at Patrick. “It would be nice if you walked with me, honey.”
“Okay. Sure.” Patrick relented.
“I’ve got the bill, you two go ahead,” Clint responded.
So, Patrick and Stevie walked out of the cafe and headed toward the motel, hand in hand until they were out of sight of the cafe windows.
“Marce, how did you think all that went?” Clint pondered.
“Just fine, dear. She seems lovely.”
“Yeah, but….”
“What?”
“Nothing. I just, I don’t know….”
“What, Clint? Talk to me.”
“I just get the feeling that maybe Patrick isn’t really all that into his relationship with Stevie. It all seemed very stilted.”
“But he sounds so happy on the phone.”
“Yeah, I think that maybe something else is the cause of that happiness.”
“What are you talking about? The store?”
“Yes, that. But also, maybe David?”
“David? What are you saying, Clint?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s nothing, but I was watching him at the store and he was looking at David very fondly. And he looked concerned about leaving him alone to cover the store. Also, just now, he wanted to run back over there instead of spending time with Stevie.”
“You don’t think….” Marcy started.
“I don’t know what I think. But it might be a possibility that Patrick has feelings for David and either doesn’t know how to tell him or is scared about what that might mean for the business, or for his life in general.”
“But he dated Rachel for years and now he’s with Stevie. He’s not gay. He’d….well, he’d tell us if that were the case, wouldn’t he?”
“I would hope that he’d be comfortable enough telling us that. And maybe he’s bi, or something else?”
“If he likes David, then why would he be dating Stevie, though?” Marcy wondered.
“As a cover? Maybe for us? Maybe for himself? I just hope he’s not trying to force something that isn’t going to work out. I think he might have done that with Rachel for a long time.”
“You know, now that you mention it, he wasn’t very affectionate toward Stevie. I just thought he was nervous in front of us," Marcy replied.
“That could be it, too. I’m probably overthinking all of this. Let’s just, keep an open eye over the next couple of days, yeah?”
“Okay. Sounds good. Should we head back over to the store now?”
“Sure.”
The bell chimed when they entered, but no one was around - maybe David didn’t hear it. No matter, they’d just browse the store until he was free. He was probably in the back dealing with products, inventory, that sort of thing. Suddenly they heard voices - David’s and another woman’s - that must be Alexis. The words were muffled, though, and they couldn’t exactly hear what was being said. That is, until they grew louder.
“They don’t know that I’m in love with their son! Patrick’s not ready. So everyone just needs to be quiet about it and pretend to be happy for Patrick and Stevie. Okay?!”
“Fine, David. But I’m just going to say this….maybe it’s time for a holiday confession.”
Marcy and Clint looked at each other with wide eyes. Clint motioned to Marcy to follow him out the door. The bell chimed again and they scurried out and around the corner.
“Confession? What are you talking about?”
“Like Patrick confessing to his parents that he’s not really with Stevie and that he’s totally in gay love with you!”
“Ugh. Stay out of it, Alexis. Patrick will tell his parents when he’s ready. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I heard the bell and need to attend to my store. You’re supposed to be helping with all of this, if you recall!”
David stomped out of the back room to find an empty store. “Weird. I could have sworn I heard the bell.”
“Maybe you’re hearing things, David. It must be the stress of this whole fake dating situation!”
“Ugh. Go stick your tongue to a frozen flagpole, Alexis!”
“Did you hear that?!” Marcy exclaimed when they were around the side of the building and safely in their car.
“Yes, I did.”
“So….David likes Patrick-”
“-Correction. Loves Patrick,” Clint interjected.
“Right. And he thinks that Patrick isn’t ready to hear it?!”
“Yes, that’s what I heard. And Alexis was encouraging him to confess his feelings!” Clint added.
“And you think that Patrick has the same feelings for David?” Marcy asked, double checking that she was understanding everything correctly.
“Well, I’m not sure about the same, but he’s definitely fond of David. Maybe David’s right, maybe Patrick isn’t ready, he might be still trying to figure some things out about himself.”
“Well, this is just silly! If they just talked things over and realized they both liked each other, that could help Patrick!”
“You’re probably right, but I don’t think we should get involved, Marcy. It’s none of our business.”
“Our son’s happiness is my business. I’m his mother. We don’t need to be blunt about it, but there’s nothing wrong with nudging him in the right direction.”
“Maybe you’re right. Let’s just…keep observing for a little while longer? Then when we get Patrick alone we could drop some hints? At the very least we need to make sure he knows that we’ll still love him no matter what, no matter who he chooses to date," Clint stated.
“Yes. We definitely need to reiterate that! Oh Clint, I’m so excited!”
“About what?”
“This is just like a rom-com. Two people pining over each other, oblivious to the other person’s feelings! When they finally get together, it’ll be that much more satisfying!”
“Ok, slow down, Marce. For right now we’re just supporting our son and trying to parse out some more details. All of this needs to happen at Patrick’s pace.”
“Yes, you’re right.” Marcy paused. “Oh no!”
“What?”
“Poor Stevie! She seems like such a nice girl. I don’t want her getting hurt," Marcy replied.
“Unfortunately, I think that ship might have sailed. But it’s better that Patrick not prolong things and drag them out like he did with Rachel.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
“Let’s go check-in at the motel and rest for a bit. This has been a whirlwind of a day.”
~~~~~
“Hi honey, how’d lunch with your parents go?” David asked the moment Patrick walked in the door to the Apothecary.
“It was alright, a little awkward. Dad basically made me walk Stevie back to the motel when all I wanted to do was get back here to you.”
“Well, if you’re going to pull off this whole fake dating thing, then maybe you need to be thinking about how you would treat Stevie if she was actually your girlfriend.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. How’d it go with Alexis?”
“She was useless, per usual. I don’t know why you asked her to come - she never helps.”
“I didn’t want you to be alone while all this other - stuff - was going on. Plus, you would need her if you got a rush of customers.”
“I was fine. I am fine. I promise, okay?” David reassured Patrick.
“Okay.”
Patrick pulled David into the back room for a much needed hug and some soft kisses.
“Come to dinner with us tonight. We’re going to the nice Italian place in Elmdale.”
“I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be weird? Me going to dinner with your parents and you and your girlfriend?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. But I want you to be there. Please.”
“Okay. But I’m going to drive separately.”
“Sounds good.
Later that evening, the Brewers drove Patrick and Stevie to Elmdale and arrived only a few minutes after David, who was waiting just inside. It took everything in Patrick not to go to him and greet him with a kiss. Thankfully Stevie knew them too well and kept a firm grip on Patrick’s hand. Patrick gave the hostess his name for the reservation and she walked them through the restaurant to their table. Just as they were about to all take their seat, none other than Jake appeared at their side.
“Hello boys, Stevie. Out for a nice holiday dinner?”
“Yes!” Patrick cut him off. “These are my parents, Marcy and Clint. This is Jake, a friend of ours.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jake replied before turning his attention on Patrick. “It’s funny, these two made it clear to me that they don’t share. But I guess they made an exception with you….and I’ve gotta say, I don’t blame them one bit.” He threw Patrick a wink that made the other man blush. Good thing the lighting was dim.
“No! Jake, that’s not it at all!”
David noticed the confused look on the Brewers faces. “Um, he means dessert…it’s a whole inside joke thing, right Jake? Just something that happened with me and Stevie and anyway…Jake, were you leaving? We don’t want to keep you.”
“Sure, sure. Pony, you free later?”
“Mmm. No, I’m spending time with my boyfriend, Patrick, and his parents tonight," Stevie replied, holding up their adjoined hands and gesturing to the Brewers with the other.
Jake looked around the table. “Okaaay, then does that mean you’re available, David?”
Patrick’s nostrils flared as he stared Jake down.
“Nope. I don’t think so,” David replied.
“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll see you all around then.” And with that, he sauntered out of the restaurant.
“He seems…nice. Very friendly,” Marcy said once Jake was out of earshot.
“Oh, he’s friendly alright,” Patrick responded in a clipped tone.
“Oh no! I just remembered that I have a late check-in at the motel,” Stevie exclaimed.
“What?” David and Patrick replied in unison.
“Yeah, I forgot all about it.”
“Well have my dad cover. Or Roland,” David suggested.
“Neither one of them know how to use the computer. I’m just….um…” Stevie pretended to think. “Oh, I know…I’m going to see if Jake can give me a ride back to Schitt’s Creek.”
David and Patrick looked at Stevie with an incredulous glare.
“Sorry Marcy, Clint. I’m sure I’ll see you both tomorrow at some point.”
And with that, Stevie was off - out the door to find Jake and presumably get her needs met.
“Well that’s too bad,” Marcy said. “But I’m glad you all have such a good, reliable network of friends here.”
“Looks like it’s just the four of us then,” Clint said with a smile, looking between the two men. “Shall we order?”
“Sounds good,” Patrick replied, shooting a soft smile toward David who was tucking his own grin into the corner of his mouth.
After dinner, Clint and Marcy were driving back to Schitt’s Creek without Patrick. He had insisted on riding back with David for a myriad of reasons…David shouldn’t drive alone in the dark, they needed to talk about some work things anyway, Marcy and Clint wouldn’t have to go out of their way to drop Patrick off. Finally they decided to just let Patrick get away with his excuses and leave with David. After more than a few minutes of silence, both parents lost in thought, Clint finally decided to get the ball rolling.
“So….that was….”
“Nice,” Marcy finished his sentence.
“Nice?”
“Yes. Dinner with David and Patrick was nice,” Marcy repeated herself.
“Well, I agree, but-”
“I think we’re right. I think both of those boys care for each other very deeply, as more than friends. Compared to our lunch earlier, dinner was so much more relaxed. Patrick was happy and smiling, David was so great, and animated, enthusiastic about the store and Patrick. There was an ease between them that wasn’t there with Patrick and Stevie.”
“Right. I agree.”
“So, what do we do, Clint? We can’t let Patrick continue to force things with Stevie.”
“I know. But we also can’t tell him what to do, how to live his life,” Clint replied.
“Do you think he knows? Do you think he realizes he has feelings for David? I can’t figure out if he recognizes it and isn’t letting himself go for it or if he doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“We’re going for a hike first thing in the morning. Maybe I’ll drop a few hints about David and gauge his reaction," Clint suggested.
“Ooh, that sounds like a good plan - great idea, dear.”
“It’s only a great idea if it works…”
~~~~~
The next morning, Clint and Patrick drove to a nearby trailhead and started out on a brisk winter hike. They talked about the store and about relatives back home until there was finally a lull in the conversation. Clint decided it was time to enact his plan.
“So, David seems like a nice person, good partner - in business.”
“Um, yeah. Yep, he’s really great. He’s been an amazing friend.”
“Doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking too,” Clint tried for nonchalance, all the while aiming to clock Patrick’s reaction.
“Yeah….sure. I guess.” Patrick gulped. He couldn’t react to that, couldn’t be too obvious.
“Oh come on, like you didn’t notice. He looks like a model.”
“Dad? What are you getting at?”
“Nothing….nothing, just noticed that your business partner is very handsome. That’s all.”
“And?”
“And…I don’t know. It’s probably good for business, I guess. Or, ya know, if you two go out on the town together.”
“Out on the town? Dad, this is Schitt’s Creek,” Patrick chuckled.
“I just meant, he probably gets the attention of the ladies….not that he’s looking for that. But he probably works out well for you as a wingman or something.”
“What?”
“Well, I didn’t want to be presumptuous, but I assumed David, um, played for the other team?”
Patrick’s sparse eyebrows shot up.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t assume. I just thought maybe David was gay.”
“He’s pan actually - pansexual, into all genders. Why? Why are you talking about David’s looks and his sexual preferences?” Patrick questioned his father.
“No reason. Sorry, let’s drop it.” Clint was internally kicking himself. This conversation had gone way off track. All he wanted was to see if Patrick agreed that David was handsome.
“Dad? Are you, uh, trying to tell me something? Um, that you’re interested in men?” Patrick broached the subject hesitantly.
“NO!” Clint all but shouted. “Not….not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all. I have no issues with gay people, or pan or whatever. Love is love, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Just, um, wanted to make sure you knew that - or my feelings on that. And your mother’s too.”
“Okaaaaay. This conversation has gotten weird and I’m getting cold. Are you ready to head back to the car?”
“Yup. Great idea.”
The two men headed back down the trail and drove back in awkward silence until Patrick dropped his dad off at the motel.
“So, how’d the conversation go?” Marcy asked the second Clint walked in the room.
“Not great, Marcy.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because it got all convoluted and I messed it all up. I think….maybe Patrick might think I’m attracted to David?”
“Oh?” Marcy smirked.
“It’s not funny!”
“No, you’re right. It’s not.” Marcy stifled her laugh.
“I just wanted to gauge his reaction to commenting on David’s looks! And let him know that I - that we - are fine with people being gay, or whatever. But it kind of came off like I was interested in David and his sexual preferences.”
“So, what? Patrick thinks you want to cheat on me with a man?”
“I don’t know! Can we just move on? Come up with another plan?” Clint replied, clearly frustrated.
“Sure, dear.” Marcy rubbed his arm in an attempt to comfort her husband.
Meanwhile, Patrick had stopped in the motel office to chat with Stevie after dropping off his dad.
“So…I think my dad might be attracted to David or something.”
“What?!”
“I know. It doesn’t make any sense. But neither did the conversation I had with him on my hike this morning.”
“What exactly did he say?”
“He was mentioning how attractive David is. And then was trying to get information about his preferences, like if he’s gay or not. And then he started laying it on thick about how ‘love is love’, it doesn’t matter if someone isn’t straight.”
“Patrick.”
“What?”
“It kinda sounds like he figured out you and David are together? And he was making sure you understood he was fine with it?”
“No! That can’t be it. They think I’m with you.”
“And you think that your dad being, what, bi-curious and having the hots for David is a more logical explanation?”
“I don’t know!”
“I think you’re delusional.”
“Well, if he is catching on, then we need to sell our relationship better!” Patrick almost shouted, clearly shaken by the fact that his dad might be figuring things out.
“What? I’m not kissing you. That crosses a line," Stevie protested.
“Fine. No kissing, but we have to come up with something.”
“Like what?”
“What if…the next time we’re around them, we sneak off together, then come back with our clothes and hair kinda messed up?” Patrick suggested.
“Oh my god, Patrick! You want your parents to think we were hooking up in the other room?!”
“Well, we have to do something to make it, make us, more believable.”
“Ugh. Fine. But I’m upping my price to two cases of wine.”
“Cases?!”
“You heard me. This is more emotional damage than I bargained for.”
“Fine.”
“Have you talked to David today?” Stevie asked.
“No, why? I’m heading to the store now.”
“Apparently Mr. Rose is trying to pull together a last minute Christmas Eve party in their motel room. David’s supposed to be in charge of decorations or something.”
“Oh god. I need to go, he’s probably spiraling. Thanks for the heads up, Stevie!” Patrick shouted as he rushed out the door.
~~~~~
Patrick: I need to help David at the store the rest of the day.
Marcy: That’s fine, dear.
Patrick: Lots of last minute shoppers.
Patrick: But we’re closing early.
Patrick: Christmas Eve party at the motel tonight. Want to go?
Marcy: Sounds lovely! Can we bring anything or help?
Patrick: Nope. Everything’s covered. See you there!
“Patrick invited us to a party at the motel tonight. Sounds fun,” Marcy informed Clint.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
“I think I’m going to bring some mistletoe to hang…and we’ll see where the night takes Patrick?” Marcy shimmied her shoulders.
“Marcy, do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“I do.”
Later that evening, the Brewers found themselves in Johnny and Moira’s motel room, surrounded by what seemed like most of the town. Wine was flowing, carols were being sung, and everyone was having a lovely time. Before long, Marcy spotted her opportunity. She approached Patrick and David who were whispering in the doorway between the two rooms.
“Uh oh. Looks like you two found yourselves under the mistletoe!” Marcy smiled.
They both looked up, then at each other with a startled look on their faces.
“Where did that come from? All decorating choices were supposed to go through me!” David replied indignantly.
“I don’t know,” Marcy replied innocently. “But you know the rules!”
“Mom, stop. I’m not going to kiss my business partner.”
“Why not, sweetie? It’s all just for fun anyway.”
“Well, for starters, he’s a man.”
“So? Who cares.” Marcy shrugged her shoulders.
“Also, I’m dating Stevie.”
“Relax, Patrick, I’m not trying to get you to cheat on your girlfriend and make out with David. I was just teasing.”
“Yeah, Patrick. It’s no big deal,” David smirked and raised one eyebrow. He leaned in, Patrick froze, and David placed the gentlest of kisses on his cheek. Patrick’s cheeks blushed, but he rolled his eyes and tried to play it off.
“Happy now, mom?”
Marcy was eyeing them carefully with a bright smile on her face. “Yes, very happy, dear.”
“Actually, I, um, need to go find Stevie. Excuse me.” Patrick took off across the room to where Clint and Stevie were standing, deep in conversation with Twyla. He approached them and slung an arm around Stevie.
“Sorry guys, I’m going to steal this one away for a bit.”
“Oh really?” Stevie asked, not knowing what was going on.
“Yeah, baby. Didn’t you say you needed help with something in the office?” Patrick leaned over to whisper in her ear.
“Oh, right. Yes. We’ll um, be back in a bit.”
With that, the two took off, out the door and down to the office.
“What’s going on, Patrick?”
“Things were getting weird. My mom made David and I kiss under the mistletoe.”
“What?”
“She was playing it off as teasing and David kissed me on the cheek. I don’t know, I panicked. I think we need to do the thing.”
“The thing?”
“Yeah, like we talked about. Hang out here for a few minutes and then go back to the party with our hair a little messy.” He pulled at his own short locks before taking his fingers and mussing up Stevie’s hair.
“Right. Um, you should also untuck your shirt. Or maybe button it up wrong?”
“Yes! Perfect!”
“How long should we stay down here? Five minutes?” Stevie asked.
Patrick gave her an incredulous look, “Give me a little more credit than that, Budd!”
“Fine,” Stevie rolled her eyes and looked around for something to do. “Sudoku?”
“Yes!”
More than a few minutes had passed since Patrick and Stevie had disappeared and Marcy took notice.
“Dear, have you seen Patrick? I think I pushed the mistletoe thing a little too hard and he ran away.”
“Yeah, he and Stevie took off to the office - made some unbelievable excuse. I think they wanted some alone time, if you know what I mean.”
“In the middle of the party?!”
“Well, I think he might feel like he has something to prove in front of us? Or maybe after that mistletoe kiss, he’s trying to convince himself of something? I’m not sure.”
“Oh no, are we creating more of a mess than was already here?”
“I think so. Maybe it’s time we cool it on the interference.”
“Okay. Yeah, you’re right. Oh, there they are,” Marcy pointed to the door. “Oh my, they look a little….disheveled.”
“Yes. Yes they do,” Clint replied, looking at his son with messed up hair and untucked shirt. He stood quietly, pondering for a few moments before Marcy pulled him out of his reverie.
“Come on, dear, let’s go meet some more people.”
“And where have you two been?” David asked in a teasing tone, taking in their appearance.
“Look, David, after that whole mistletoe situation, we had to up our game. I pulled Stevie away from a conversation with my dad with more than a little innuendo and then came back looking…well, like this. We needed to-”
“No, I get it,” David laughed. “So, what were you two actually doing?”
“Sudoku,” Stevie replied.
“Ah. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” David smirked.
“Shut up. God, the things I do for you idiots,” Stevie responded as she left them to acquire more wine.
“So, honey, would you care to join me outside for some Sudoku? Or have you had enough for one night?” David grinned.
“I’d love to, but-”
“They’re in the other room now. They won’t see us leave. I need just a few minutes with you, please.”
“Yes. Of course.”
~~~~~
“Marce, is it hot in here or is it me?” Clint asked his wife.
“It is warm, and the alcohol isn’t helping matters.”
“I’m going back to our room to take my sweater off, change it out for a button-up.”
“Sounds good, dear.”
“Be right back.” Clint pecked her cheek and made his way to the door. He headed down past the office, to their room. He was nearly past the vending machine when he heard heavy breathing and moaning. He glanced over and realized he was interrupting some couple in the middle of a pretty hot and heavy make-out session.
“Oh, sorry,” Clint mumbled and continued walking.
“God, David, I’ve missed you so much.”
Clint stopped and turned around. “Patrick?!”
The two men, pulled themselves apart - cheeks red, lips swollen, eyes wide.
“Mr. Brewer!”
“Dad! This…isn’t what it looks like.”
Clint scoffed. “Do you think I was born yesterday, son?”
“No,” Patrick replied sheepishly.
The three men stood in silence for a few moments, not sure what to do or say.
Finally Clint spoke, “Patrick, could I speak to you in my room for a minute?”
Patrick couldn’t read his dad’s tone….he wasn’t angry, but was there a hint of disappointment?
“Sure,” he replied, glancing over at David.
“Honey, do you want-” David started.
Clint interrupted, “David, could you join us?”
“Yes, of course.”
Patrick let out a breath of relief.
“Could you go get Marcy, first, though? I think she should probably be a part of this conversation too.”
“Sure.” David gave a reassuring squeeze to Patrick’s arm, then headed back to his parents’ room to retrieve Marcy.
Once all four were in the Brewer’s motel room and Marcy was brought up to speed about what Clint stumbled upon outside, Patrick began to speak before Clint cut him off.
“Let me go first.”
“Ok, dad.”
“I think there’s been some - miscommunication - during our visit and I’d like get some things cleared up.”
“Yes, I’m so sorry, I-”
Clint cut Patrick off again. “Let me just summarize our version of what’s happened so far, okay?”
Patrick nodded.
“Before we arrived, we were under the assumption that you and Stevie were dating. You told us this weeks ago.”
“Yes.”
“We met her, you introduced her as your girlfriend, and we all went to lunch together.”
“Yes, but-”
Clint held up a hand. “This is where it gets interesting for us, Patrick, because during our first visit to the store I noticed you staring fondly at David, but tried to pass it off as admiration for your business partner as he told us about your store and products.”
“It was!”
“Then we went to lunch with Stevie and, let’s be honest, it was a little awkward. We assumed it was just nerves from meeting the parents, but your mother and I did have a conversation after you two left.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I assumed that you had feelings for David that you either didn’t want to accept and were trying to make things work with Stevie or you didn’t recognize your feelings for what they were.”
“Oh.”
“Then we went back to the store and accidentally overheard David and Alexis arguing in the back about David being in love with you and that he should confess those feelings to you.”
“Oh, actually,” David interjected. “She was implying that Patrick should confess his feelings for me to you - he should come out to you.”
“Ahhh. That makes a little more sense. We must have misunderstood and left before anything else was said,” Marcy responded.
“Ok, so your mother and I have been trying to parse out what exactly was going on these past couple of days. I even went so far as to ask you about David’s looks and, um, sexual preferences.”
“What?! Patrick, you didn’t tell me that!” David exclaimed
“Sorry….yeah, I kinda thought he might have a thing for you?” Patrick said to David. “But obviously I was wrong.”
“Anyway, I think we’re still a little lost,” Clint said with a confused look on his face. “So, you two are, what - having a secret tryst behind Stevie’s back? Patrick, I would have expected more from you. I taught you better than to use other people.”
“That’s not what’s happening, dad. Stevie knows about us, about me and David.”
“Oh,” Marcy chimed in. “So, is it an…open relationship?”
“Is that why she left with Jake the other night? I knew something was fishy about all that,” Clint replied.
“What?! No! We’re together.” Patrick gestured between himself and David. “I’m with David. Only David.”
“Oh,” Clint replied, a little shocked. He looked over at Marcy and they seemed to have a whole conversation in only a simple glance.
“So, you lied to us?” Marcy asked. “About everything?”
Patrick nodded and dropped his gaze to the floor. David rubbed his back in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you,” Patrick all but whispered.
“But wait, the waitress - Twyla is it? She told us that whole story at lunch about your first date, about the initial confusion, the mozzarella sticks.” Clint said. “And no one else at the party has said anything about the two of you being a couple…are you pretending for all of them? Patrick, that’s no way to live your life.”
Patrick looked up then, looked his parents in the eyes. “No, they know. They all know. They’ve known since the beginning that David and I are an item. Twyla was there for my first date with David, mozzarella sticks and all. We asked everyone to lie for us while you were visiting.”
“Oh,” Marcy responded, voice laced with hurt.
“I didn’t…look, I didn’t have to come out to them. I didn’t have to make some big announcement, they just all eventually found out and it was no big deal. We were just Patrick and David here.”
“Patrick and David…right…” Clint paused before asking, “Is it something we did? Something we said?”
Patrick’s face looked stricken, but before he could say anything, a kind but defensive David showed up.
“Look, I know this is a shock, but Patrick is still the same person….and it’s Christmas,” he was almost in tears, pleading for acceptance on his boyfriend’s behalf.
“We’re not upset about Patrick being gay, David,” Marcy rushed out before the misunderstanding escalated. “Or, bi or whatever you are, dear,” she continued, addressing Patrick.
“I’m gay,” Patrick admitted, just above a whisper, voice trembling.
“I’m so proud of you, honey,” David whispered back and gave him a quick squeeze.
“Patrick, the thought that you felt you couldn’t tell us…” Clint started.
“I was going to, I just wasn’t ready yet.”
“I guess that’s fine, it’s something you need to do in your own time, son. But, what were you worried about? Have we ever done or said anything to make you feel like we wouldn’t accept you with open arms?”
“No.”
“Is it because we were so close to Rachel?”
“No….it’s….look, I had a plan, okay. I was going to tell you the next time I saw you. I was going to prepare myself and make a trip home. Then all of a sudden you guys decided to come here for Christmas and I….wasn’t ready. I guess…I didn’t want to ruin Christmas. And I had already stupidly told you I was dating Stevie. God, what a mess.”
“Patty, we love you no matter what. If David makes you happy, then that’s all that matters to us,” Marcy reassured.
“Dad?”
“I like David. I like him a lot." Clint threw a smile to David, then turned back to Patrick. "And nothing will ever change my love for you.”
“Thank you.”
“But….you have to understand that your mother and I are hurt about all of this. You lied to us. You acted out a whole fake relationship in front of our eyes. You asked your boyfriend to pretend to just be your business partner. You got a whole town of people to lie to us for you.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
“I think….we need a little bit of time to process all of this - your mother and I. For now, why don’t you two return to your Christmas party, okay? We can talk more tomorrow.”
“Are you still planning on coming over to Ray’s?” Patrick asked, voice laced with worry.
“Yes, of course. It’s Christmas and we wouldn’t miss an opportunity to spend it with you,” Clint replied. “I hope you’re planning on joining us, David?”
“Yes, Mr. Brewer.”
“He was always going to come over. Stevie will still be there too, if that’s not too awkward for you. She’s a good friend of ours,” Patrick added.
“Yes, that’s evident,” Marcy smirked. “You should invite whomever you want. Maybe the Roses could come too? So we could get to know David’s family?”
“Oh, I don’t think you want all that,” David grimaced.
“Sure we do. If they’re a part of Patrick’s home away from home, then we want them there too,” Clint stated matter-of-factly.
“Alright then.”
With that, Clint stood and pulled Patrick into a tight hug. “Love you, son.”
Patrick’s breath hitched and a tear escaped as his mother joined the hug. “Love you guys.”
David and Patrick made their way outside and slowly walked back down to the Rose's room.
“That went okay, right?” David asked.
“Yeah, I guess. Not how I wanted them to find out, but it’s done now.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I….don’t know. I guess I’m relieved. It feels good to not have to hide this, hide us, from my parents anymore. But, I feel really really horrible about the lies. What a terrible idea - I can’t believe I asked you and Stevie to do that for me.”
“It’s okay, honey. I’m just sorry that I asked you to go outside and make out. This is really my fault.”
“No, it’s not. I wanted to join you.” Patrick smiled and gave David a soft kiss. “Is it okay if I just head home? I don’t really want to go back to the party.”
“Sure. Do you want me to come with you? I know tonight was a lot.”
“No. That’s okay. I kind of want to be alone for a bit.”
“Alright. Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
David stood outside his room and watched Patrick get in his car and pull away from the motel. He looked back at his door, then down the sidewalk, took a deep breath and made a decision.
He knocked twice and waited. Finally the door opened.
“David? Did you forget something here?” A confused Marcy asked.
“Um, no. I….I know you said you needed some time to process things, but I was hoping I could talk to you? Unless it’s an imposition. Which of course it is, I’m so sorry, I can go-”
“David, would you like to come in?”
“Yes, I would very much like that," a relieved David replied.
David stepped inside the Brewers motel room, Clint was sitting at the end of their bed. Marcy closed the door and moved to sit beside him.
“Hi,” David said nervously, fidgeting with his hands.
“Hello, David,” Clint responded with a serious demeanor, but a smile played on his lips.
“Um, Patrick went home. He doesn’t know I’m here.”
“Okay. What did you want to talk to us about?” Clint asked.
“Well. I wanted to start by apologizing for the whole - kissing - thing.” David circled his hand in the general direction of the motel vending machine. “It was my idea to sneak away and that’s just not a great way for you to have found out about all of this.”
“Apology accepted.”
“Also, I’m sorry about my part in all of the lying and misunderstandings that happened. It’s not a great first impression to make on my, uh, my boyfriend’s parents.”
“Thank you for that, David. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster the past couple of days,” Marcy replied.
“I am happy to hear that maybe you had started to piece things together, though. About Patrick?” David questioned. “Um, that the whole being gay thing wasn’t quite so much of a shock - tonight anyway.”
“Right. Yeah, that was probably for the best,” Clint agreed.
“I guess I just hoped that I could talk over some things with you? Maybe give you a little insight into why Patrick did the things he did - why he lied to you? Not, not that I want to speak for him or anything and you all should definitely talk more tomorrow, but um, I thought maybe I could give you some perspective - from a queer man’s point of view?”
“I think that could be helpful, David,” Clint replied.
“Yes, thank you, dear,” Marcy added.
“I care about Patrick….a lot.”
“That’s more than evident,” Clint responded. “Why don’t we all sit at the table for this?”
“Thank you.”
And so they talked. David spoke about what it was like being a gay man, coming to terms with that within oneself, going through the process of coming out - how absolutely terrifying that can be, even when you come from a loving family. He talked about how far Patrick’s come in such a short amount of time and how coming out is a personal thing that varies for everyone in terms of how and when it’s done. He reassured them that it wasn’t anything they had done wrong, but it was Patrick’s journey. And the Brewers, they listened. They listened to this animated, knowledgeable, caring man that their son had fallen in love with. They came away with a deeper understanding of the situation, a clearer picture of Patrick’s new life in Schitt’s Creek, and the knowledge that their son was deeply loved and cared for by the man sitting in front of them. Tears were shed, hugs were shared, and when David finally made his way back down to his room, all three felt a little lighter.
~~~~~
David arrived at Ray’s a little earlier than planned the next morning so he could share a bit of time with Patrick before the others got there. Patrick was pleasantly surprised and they wasted no time making use of their privacy.
“Mom and dad will be here soon.”
“Already?”
“Yeah, she wanted to get here early and help prepare the meal.”
“Okay. I suppose we should head downstairs then?”
“Yeah. They probably shouldn’t catch us in bed together the morning after they found out I’m gay,” Patrick chuckled. “Thanks for coming over early, I know how much you hate mornings.”
“Anything for you, honey. How’re you feeling?”
“Better than last night. I know I need to talk things over with my parents, but I feel good.”
“I’m so happy for you. Merry Christmas, Patrick.”
“Merry Christmas, David.” Patrick kissed David deeply, thoroughly, pouring all of his feelings from the past 48 hours into it.
“Mmm….no! Stop that. We need to get up and be presentable for your parents and if you continue kissing me like that, that is not going to happen.”
“Okay, baby. Come on, let’s get up and get dressed.”
Before long, the Brewers arrived and Patrick and David greeted them at the door.
“Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas, son. You too, David,” Clint replied as they made their way into the house and took off their coats and boots.
“David, we went to your room this morning to offer you a ride, but Alexis told us you were already here,” Marcy added with a knowing tone and a wink.
“Mom! That’s not…we didn’t…”
“Careful, son, let’s not add to the pile of lies,” Clint chastised with a grin.
“He didn’t spend the night! He got here early this morning so we could have a moment alone together before everyone got here.”
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m sure you enjoyed your alone time.” Marcy smiled and engulfed a red faced Patrick in a hug.
“Oh my god. Is this how it’s gonna be?”
“I’m afraid so,” Clint responded, grinning ear to ear.
“Now, David, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen. We have a ham and all the fixin’s to prepare,” Marcy exclaimed.
“Oh, I don’t cook-”
“Nonsense. I’ll show you everything you need to know.” Marcy hooked her arm through David’s and pulled him toward the kitchen. “I’m sure you know your way around here, so you’ll help me find everything I need.”
“I don’t spend that much time here, Mrs. Brewer. And most definitely not in the kitchen.”
Marcy raised her eyebrows at that.
“I didn’t mean it like that! My god, Patrick come save me!”
“Sorry, you’re on your own,” Patrick replied with a smile.
Clint sidled up to Patrick and watched their significant others leave the room.
“You’ve got a good one, there, Patrick.”
“Don’t I know it.”
There was a beat of awkward silence.
“So…are you and mom okay? I really am sorry about how everything went down, all the lies and pretending. I never meant to make you feel left out, I just didn’t….”
“Yeah, we’re good. Um, David stopped by our room last night and talked us through some things - gave us some insights that maybe we hadn’t considered.”
“He did?”
“Yes, he sure did. We should still talk things over later - we have some questions and we'd like to hear about your journey. But it might be best to just put all of the lying stuff behind us and move forward, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“That man loves you a lot, Patrick.”
“I know. I love him a lot too,” Patrick replied with a sigh.
“I can’t believe you ever thought you could hide this from us - you’re so head over heels for him and SO obvious about it! I clocked it the first few minutes in the store with both of you.”
“Yeah yeah yeah…so I’m not a good actor.”
“I didn’t say all that. Though that little performance last night with Stevie wasn’t very convincing either. Like you’d ever come back to a party with your clothes and hair all disheveled.” Clint rolled his eyes.
Patrick covered his face with his hands, “I’m never going to live all this down, am I?”
“Oh we’re for sure going to get some good teasing in, son.”
“Come on, let’s go join them in the kitchen - make sure they don’t burn the house down. I think we’re going to have to keep an eye on those two.”
“I agree.”
The two men made their way to the other room.
“Hey, David, when is everyone else arriving?”
“Everyone who? Just Stevie is coming over.”
“Oh, no. I texted Alexis. I invited your whole family.”
“What?!”
“Merry Christmas, David.”