Work Text:
My PA Ariadne refuses to believe I know you.
She says I'm living in a vodka gimlet fueled Notting Hill hallucination.
She is however strangely ready to believe you have a rather unhealthy interest in my dog.
jk
Eames?
SORRY. BATHTIME. T HAS MARMALADE EVERYWHERE.
ALSO. YOU BIG GIRLS BLOUSE. DO U CRY INTO YOUR PILLOW OVER ROMCOMS?
I NEED TO KNOW.
ALSO CAN PROVIDE TWO DIFFERENT PORN VERSIONS THEREOF.
;)
WOULD YOU PREFER NAUGHTY HILL?
OR KNOTTING HILL??
Jesus Eames.
Also take off your caps lock. Idiot.
I CAN THING OF MORE FUN THINGS TO TAKE OFF.
ALSO TWYLA USED PHONE AS TEETHING RING. CANNOT UNDO CAPS :(
You just can't help yourself can you?
I AM REGRETTABLY OUT OF PRACTICE AT THIS SORT OF THING.
Is this where I make a bicycle joke?
I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T.
IT'S JUST
MY TRACK RECORD HASN'T BEEN SO GREAT LATELY.
You seem to be doing fine making out with my dog.
YOU SIMPLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND ONE MANS LOVE FOR ANOTHER MANS DOG.
I think maybe you've been making the wrong kind of films Eames.
PERHAPS YOU COULD COME OVER TONIGHT AND EXPLAIN TO ME THE ERROR OF MY WAYS.
WE CAN WATCH NOTTING HILL. I HAVE IT ON DVD. ALSO I HAVE JULIA ROBERTS ON MY SPEED DIAL.
Will 8:30 be okay?
BRING TWIGLET.
If we weren't texting I would so hang up on you.
WILL YOU STILL COME?
WHAT IF I PROMISE TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU AND NOT YOUR DOG.
Penrose advises me to accept.
I am now taking dating advice from my dog.
HE'S VERY LOVABLE.
AS AM I.
We can put that to the test tonight.
Yes?
YES.
This is surreal.
Surreal but nice.
Do you see what I did there?
YOU ARE VERY FUNNY.
AND RATHER ADORABLE.
XOXO
Until tonight then.
(But I'm leaving Penrose at home)
YOU WOULNDN’T
Wait and see.
IF I MUST.
MUST DASH. TWYLA TRYING TO EAT SOAP.
Rescue you daughter. I’ll see you tonight.
Ariadne’s still not going to believe me.
I’m not sure I believe it myself.
x