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REALLY, YOU SHOULD'VE known that attempting to gain good karma back for being a Raider would only bring chaos into your trash-filled world.
It all started one dull morning. There was no sun peeking out of the dense block of clouds in the sky, washing the city out of its vibrant colour and just draining any sense of optimism that the Ground could certainly use. Despite the gloomy atmosphere, you stretched and felt weirdly energetic, so because you were a dumb optimist in your core, you took that as a sign that things might go smoothly today.
Which, in hindsight, should've been your first red flag.
Peace was an antonym for being a Raider; and oh goodness, were you one of them full-time.
But, for some reason, you thought otherwise.
You walked your routine path to the Raider's base, and if you were being honest, it was just a maze full of twists and turns to be certain that anyone tailing you will get lost. It was during one of your predictable turns that you encountered an injured man with black hair and red eyes, wearing an outfit that was considerably out of reality on the Ground.
The first thing that popped into your mind was another Sphereite. It was obvious, in your eyes, at least. He was wearing drastically different clothes than yours or Ground civilians for that matter. Yet, his dark aesthetic contradicts the almost pure and innocent clothing you had always seen on dead Sphereites.
Naturally, you were alarmed. Not only were you faced with an injured man, his background was also unknown and thus, you weren't sure whether he could be considered a physical threat to you.
He groaned, one hand clutching his bloodied side. You winced at the sight. Clearly, this man had seen better days.
"Damn..." you muttered under your breath, taking a tentative step towards the black-haired man. Raiders didn't exactly have the best reputation on the Ground, so you weren't all that surprised when he all but glared viscously at you, red eyes burning with anger.
But, you were feeling good today and what else makes someone feel better about themselves? Helping injured people for no cost!
You crouched, raising both hands as surrender while keeping enough distance to bolt if he suddenly decided to do some weird Sphereite (or wherever he was from).
"Hey," you said carefully, "if you're conscious enough to glare at me, you're conscious enough to tell me if you're gonna stab me, right?"
His head turned toward you, slow and heavily unfocused. He blinked, one eye after another, and for a brief moment, you saw unfiltered confusion and a hint of desperation.
"Who... arth thou...?" he croaked.
You raised an eyebrow, puzzled. Who arth thou? What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Your hand hovered near your jinki—a t-bone hammer—just in case. Clearly, this man wasn't from anywhere nearby. Maybe he hailed up from the far North Ward? He certainly dressed like he was. Plus, you've heard rumours of parts of that land where dialect could sound like poetry.
"Relax, buddy. I ain't here to take your stuff or anything," you said cautiously, trying to sound as harmless as a mice. "I'm just trying to be a good Samaritan 'cause I'm feeling generous today."
He didn't relax. Instead, he balled himself up, curling away from you like a wounded animal. Fair enough, you supposed. You were literally a stranger showing up out of nowhere like some sort of hero. And here he was, bloodied, and possibly delirious enough to not trust anyone.
You leaned forward, offering a small smile, but still ready to take out your jinki to impose more harm to the man. "Look, I don't want to hurt you," you said. "I'm just... trying to help. Consider this like... me repenting for all the cri—I mean, bad stuff I so happen to do for my job... yeah..."
Coughing lightly, you awkwardly laid a gentle touch on his shoulder. He flinched, eyes widening as they locked onto your hand—but he didn’t pull away. Okay, progress, right?
He groaned, leaning to your warmth. His red eyes flickered up to yours, and he rasped, "What dost thou intend... with thy touch, fair maiden...?"
You froze, eyes twitching because you had only understood one-fourth of his sentence. "Uh... I'm... helping? That's it... fair stranger."
"Helping...? Thou art... a saviour sent by fate itself?"
You swallowed, pushing him upright to sit against the cracked wall. "Something like that... yeah."
He winced, pressing deeper onto his wound. "Thy kindness... overwhelms me... yet I am unworthy to receive such actions..."
You blinked, already drafting an excuse to bolt out of the situation, your karma be damned. "Right... totally unworthy. Got it."
As if sensing your change of heart, his bloodied hand enveloped your wrist. "Do not... leave me, sweet kitten... My life is thine... shouldst thou save me."
You exhaled slowly, annoyance bubbling inside your chest at the man. The one time you tried to be a good person and the world tossed you to a deranged man. Great. Absolutely fantastic!
"Okay, uh..." you chuckled, forcing out another smile. "Just relax, man. I'll heal you with me jinki." You pulled out the t-bone hammer hidden in your pants, bringing it to the man's face for him to see. "This should fix ya right up."
Now, there was a genuine smile planted on your lips as you raised your hammer high in the air, [eye colour] anima swirling the item and making it grow in size. "Don't worry about the pain, yeah? All that's just temporary. No screaming—Doctor's orders!"
Before he could open his mouth to sprout another sentence, you slammed the hammer straight into his stomach.
Heh... you never said helping the man would be painless.
YOU HAVE LEFT the man stranded on the alleyway, because honestly, your kindness could only stretch so far. Carrying an unknown man into the Raider's base seemed like a terrible idea—especially considering that your mission today involved Jabber, of all people.
So, you'd already decided the man was a problem for the universe, not you.
Stepping inside the common room, you immediately spotted Jabber lounging on the couch, feet propped on the table, smirk plastered across his face like he owned the world.
"Finally!" he drawled out, eyes glinting. "Was wonderin' how long it'd take ya to drag yourself in!"
You sighed, running a hand down your face. "How many times have I told ya—don't put your goddamn feet on the table! We eat on there, for goodness' sake!"
Jabber looked down at his boots, pouting a bit, then back at you, now with a full grin. "Don't wanna," he grumbled. "Adds character, dont'cha think?"
"More like adding dirt," you sneered, pinching the bridge of your nose.
Jabber's eyes flickered to your bloodied wrist, brows furrowing slightly. "What's up with the blood on your wrist?" he asked, leaning forward. His dreadlocks swayed with the movement.
You blinked, momentarily confused, before remembering the man. "Oh, this?" You gestured at your bloodied wrist. "I decided to be nice and help an injured man on my way here."
"... Why, though?"
You shrugged indifferently. "Just felt like it."
Jabber leaned back, head rolling on the back of the couch, a wide grin across his face. "Ha! You helpin' for the hell of it? You're ridiculous...! C'mon, tell me the real reason, babe. Don't think for a sec I'ma believe that bullshit from ya."
You crossed your arms, glaring at the man with heat. "Fuck you, freak. Just because you're a crazy menace doesn't mean I'm supposed to be one too!"
And as if trying to convey your words, you pointed at him. "Don't forget who patches you up every goddamn time you walk in here black and blue."
He titled his head, eyes swirling with amusement. "Hey, that's different, aight? That's literally your job here with us." He waved a hand dismissively, earning a scowl from you. "And 'sides, you helpin' people outta the goodness of your heart? That's new, babe. I gotta see your soft spot in action."
"I'm not soft," you shot back, irritated. "I just... happened to be in a good mood earlier, okay? It's none of your fucking business anyway, freaking weirdo."
Jabber just laughed, rising from the couch and draping his body onto yours. Damn this tall psycho!
"Maaa, whatever. I'm gettin' bored," he drawled to your ears, sending shivers down your spine. "Let's just get the hell outta here and do the job already! I wanna get my blood pumpin'!"
You groaned, pushing lightly against his chest as your face snuggled into the crook of his neck. "You're impossible."
"Impossible? Nah, fun as hell, baby!" he replied, pinching your cheek with mischief. "'Sides, you look way too serious. Gotta liven things up a bit or else, you're gonna get real ugly like Cthoni."
You sighed, rubbing your temples as you felt a headache forming. "You never learn your lessons with that woman, don't you? She'll strangle you later for that."
He only smirk in return. "You gonna snitch like a loser?"
"If it's to see you choke, then yeah."
Jabber only laughed harder, slinging an arm over your shoulder as he all but dragged you toward the exit. "That's a promise, and not a threat, then! Now c'mon—mission time. Wanna have some interestin' shit.”
As if on cue, the doors slammed open, surprising you and Jabber. Instantly, the two of you were on high alert, muscles tensed and jinkis ready to activate the moment the intruder makes their presence known.
How the hell did someone find the base? Was someone following me? No, that can't be—I was careful and switched turns every few minutes or so. Who...?
Then, a familiar man strode inside the common room—bloodied, but now not injured. His chest was heaving as if he'd just survived a war. His back hair messy yet styled like he had just come out of a movie shoot. His red eyes locked onto Jabber's arm around your shoulders, narrowing with enough fury to melt steel. Then, he turned to you, sweeping arm like he was about to declare eternal devotion.
"My sweet kitten! Thou art mine to protect! None shall touch thee whilst I yet draw breath!"
...Okay, what the fuck—
You groaned, feeling another headache pulsing at the base of your skull. Of course... Of course the moment you decided to be nice, this was your punishment. No wonder you joined the Raiders.
Jabber blinked, assessing the man before looking down at your resigned face. He then burst into feral laughter, dropping almost all his weight onto yours. "WHAT THE FUCK! HE JUST CALLED YA KITTEN—OH SHIT—" he wheezed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, much to your misery. "THIS THE MAN YA WERE BRAGGIN' ON HELPIN' EARLIER?"
You shoved your face to your palms, groaning loudly. "Shut up, Jabber. This ain't funny...!"
"NOT FOR YOU; BUT IT IS CERTAINTLY TO ME!"
The man ignored both of you and took another dramatic step closer. "Fear not, for I shall not falter at the face of evil! I pledge my life to guard thee, sweet kitten! Thy honour is mine eternal charge!"
"Stop fucking talking nonsense, dude," you snapped, face twisting in absolute annoyance. "I should've never helped you—Ugh! This is why I can't have nice things in life."
Jabber was now doubling over, pointing at the man like he couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. Honestly, it was free entertainment. "I can't believe this! Ohhh, this is fucking perfect! You—just—look at this dude! I can't wait to tell Momoa 'bout this shit!"
You threw your hands up. "I fucking give up."
Jabber punched your shoulder lightly, grinning from ear-to-ear with eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy. "C'mon, don't be like that, kitten—"
"I will fucking end you, freak—"
Suddenly, the man shoved himself between you and Jabber, posture puffed up like an ancient peacock ready to defend his entire bloodline that has just been insulted. His hand hovered in front of you protectively while he glared with animosity at Jabber.
"How dare thee hurt thy maiden?! Thou shalt pay with thy blood, foul beast!"
You raised an incredulous brow at the man, bewildered at his actions. Seriously, what the hell was wrong with this man?! Did your hammer fuck him up that badly in the head...? You were never going to try and heal random people again.
Jabber paused, taking in the scene in front of him with a stiff smile. He then stood up straight, levelling the height of the black-haired man. "C'mon, man," he started, an easy-going smile twitching on his lips. "Don't be actin' like that. We was just havin' fun—"
The man was having none of it. "Silence, foul beast!" he roared, body forming into a fighting stance. "With mine own strength and honour, I shall defend mine beloved kitten! No hand, nor blade, nor mortal like thou shall dare lay upon her whilst I yet draw breath!"
You sighed, having enough of all this nonsense. "Get the hell out of here before we make you, dude," you said, voice flat as you stared blankly at the man. "Like, seriously—play time's over. Shoo."
He stared at you with his red-eyes widening like saucers. "But... Kitten..."
"Do not call me that," you snapped, jabbing the hammer at his face. "I may be a doctor, but that won't stop me from breaking all your bones."
"Do not jest like that, thy maiden...!"
Decided you've heard enough, you swung hard against the side of his skull. A devastating crack echoed in the room, much to your delight. However, the man just smiled, seemingly unaffected by your blow as he stepped forward. Before you could curse him out, his outstretched arms enveloped you in a hug.
Your eyes widen in shock, locking into Jabber who was watching the scene with a blank stare. The playfulness in your teammate's face had vanished into thin air, replaced by the deadly look he always wore whenever someone weak arrogantly overstepped their bounds.
In a blink of an eye, Jabber was behind the man, gripping the top of his skull and lifting him off you. "Who said ya can go 'round touchin' her like that?" he asked, voice low and deadly.
The black-haired man froze, his red eyes narrowing as he trashed against Jabber's hold. "Thou—dare threaten me, foul beast?”
Jabber titled his head, a sharp grin forming on his lips. "Ain't a threat buddy—it's a fucking promise."
Before the man could react, Jabber threw him straight to the wall. The precise strike cracked the plaster, and he slowly slid down, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he slumped unconscious.
You blinked, sending a grateful nod to Jabber before pointing at the man. "Well... fuck. What the hell are we supposed to explain now?"
Jabber shrugged, the seriousness he was enemiting earlier now gone. He plopped an arm on your shoulder, smirking like he hadn't just assaulted someone unconscious again. "Hell do I know. This your mess, kitten."
"I swear, if you continue calling me that—"
The familiar sea of colours appeared behind the two of you. Cthoni emerged from her jinki, face contorted into annoyance as she dropped a man who looked eerily similar to the unconscious idiot now bleeding by the door.
You, Jabber and Cthoni exchanged glances.
"Huh... you too?" Jabber crackled.
The older woman sighed. "Don't fucking ask."