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Chapter 6: Running With The Krab Man
The streets of Bikini Bottom were just as, if not more, lively than yesterday.
As Riley looked around at the crosswalk they were at, their mind simply refused to comprehend just how many fish and large crowds were walking around in the broad daylight.
Teens loitering in corners, vendors hollering their wares, kids screaming and running around on every concrete patch…the sheer amount of the fish directly behind and around them and Mr. Krabs was astounding…and very overwhelming.
Riley scooted near Mr. Krabs, holding their backpack with their wallet close. Images of sneaky fins and greasy fingers reaching out and grabbing their pockets or worse, something like their hair, stormed around in their skull like frantic jellyfish. They hated this so much- the strangers near them were way too close for comfort. They felt like a sardine in a can, no offense to sardines.
They chose to look away from the crowd where the static in their mind was coming from and up at Mr. Krabs.
They didn’t trust him much, but if he was taking them to the cops, then at least that meant he was slightly more trustworthy than all the possible thieves and pickpockets breathing down their neck and practically standing right in their face.
He seemed to barely even notice the crowd or loud boat noises from the bustling
roads. He wasn’t very happy it seemed- he looked bored and very annoyed about something, tapping one of his feet impatiently. Riley suspected that it was probably them and having to leave his prized restaurant because of this situation they got theirself caught in. They sighed through their slits and looked down towards their tail.
Oh Neptune, his claw was much bigger now that they saw their tiny one holding it.
The sharp edges looked even more sharp now, and Riley started thinking that their hand must now understand what an underbelly treading on eggshells must feel like.
They tried not to move their hand at all, holding it completely still. One wrong move and they’d likely get a free finger piercing.
The crosswalk dinged green, and the crowd started moving, along with Mr. Krabs and Riley.
The minute Riley started slithering in typical snake fashion, a few fish took notice and jumped a few inches back, giving them a lot more breathing room.
“Holy Shrimp!!” Someone murmured. “Is that a-!?”
“What’s one of those doing here??” Another whispered.
“You think it’s already stalked and bitten someone yet?”
Riley immediately whirled around, looking for the guy who said that. That whisper was, well, a whisper, but it had rung out like a giant gong. Stalking someone?? Biting them? Why would they do that?? The only reason they’d bite someone was if they had no other option!? Why would anyone say something like that?!
They must’ve been glaring, because all the fish immediately cowered and shied away. Good. They better shut up with comments like that.
They turned their head back to where they were going, the comment still ringing in their ear-holes. What was that guy’s problem?…
Something brushed against their hand and they looked down.
Mr. Krabs’ small claw was stroking their hand, absentmindedly. Riley’s heart jumped, knowing their hand must have moved and they probably were bleeding now, but they felt no pain…in fact, the more they thought about it and looked, the more they found theirself doubting that it was even something they should be concerned about.
His grip was firm, but…gentle. Like he knew his own strength and practiced how to hold other people’s hands for a while. Course, he was kinda old, at least a little older than their parents, but still, Riley couldn’t help but marvel a little at that.
They continued the walk down the sidewalk and through the city, Riley staring at all the buildings everywhere. Every pink boutique and striking green floral shop caught their eye, each building with immeasurable detail and decoration.
Life in this place sure seemed vibrant. Even the small things, like the plastic mascots and and the park benches, carried some tiny feeling they were alive and floating in the sunlit water.
Their mind wandered through every sight on their route. Waking up here felt so different from the mornings in Rusty Anchor.
The dawns there were quiet and…dull. Neighbors didn’t walk around much, and the other kids often threw Riley looks that made it clear they didn’t want much to do with them. Only the Slither kids who were popular at school, like Maureen and Sophie, really could integrate with them without a problem. Other than that, in the mornings Riley was pretty much allowed a rare bit of quiet and peace if there was no school that day.
If the Slithers had lived here in Bikini Bottom, how different would it be?
Would Riley travel these roads and sidewalks every morning rather than losing theirself in the soda shop and art stores? Or would Mom and Dad forbid them from going too far, not wanting them to risk being too much around ‘less wealthy’ people, who could instantly rob them or take advantage of their money? At least, according to them, that would happen, but Riley never really understood that. The people here seemed alright- a little…assuming, they guessed, but they all appeared more friendly than the ones back home.
“Ya don’t talk much, do ya, kid?” Mr. Krabs abruptly asked.
“Huh?” Riley jerked back to reality and looked up at him, then immediately avoided eye contact. Looking people they didn’t know in the eyes felt like staring at the sun from two feet away.
“Ya don’t talk much. Ya ain’t said a word this whole time we’ve been walkin’.”
“…Oh.” Riley said, unsure how to respond. They couldn’t tell if he approved of that or not.
“With how much yer siblings lollygag an’ chatter about, I would’a thought you’d be talkin’ more than a hyperactive parrot.”
Riley felt a little heat rise in their face at that. What was that supposed to mean?
“…Oh, um… yeah, I just… don’t do that I guess. I don’t like talking as much as they do…sir.”
He raised an eyebrow on his eyestalk.
“Ya got a name ya call yerself?”
“…Riley, sir. Riley Slithers.” They answered softly.
“Aye.” He grunted.
Neither of them said anything more as they rounded a corner…and another.
“How old are ya?”
“…Uh…14.”
He looked at them in a funny way then they stopped at another crosswalk.
An ice cream vendor nearby was busy selling his goods, calling out offers as fish passed by and bought them.
“Buy two, get one with extra sprinkles! Get a waffle cone with chocolate icing for just an extra nickel!”, etc.
Riley’s stomach rumbled. How long had it been since breakfast at SpongeBob’s house? Some ice cream sounded really good right now, but Mr. Krabs didn’t seem to want his time to be wasted. They didn’t want to make him angry, like how Mom and Dad would definitely be when (or if) they came back.
“Answer the unanswerable question, and get up to FIVE FREE ice creams!”
Mr. Krabs whirled around, his eyes lit up. He zipped over to the cart, tugging Riley along. “Gah-!” They squeaked.
“‘Scuse me, did you say ‘free?’” He asked the vendor, cutting the line.
Riley blinked and shrank behind him.
The vendor grinned in a very confident manner. “Yes, sir. Answer my question that no one can answer, and any ice cream you want costs absolutely nothing! You won’t pay a cent!”
Mr. Krabs sure liked the sound of that, or else his eyes were getting a glint from something else.
He laughed and leaned onto the cart in a cocky way, letting go of Riley’s hand.
“I’ve been nearly all over th’ seven seas! I’ve learn’d many a thing, whether it be about ships or plants. Bring it on!”
The vendor smirked.
“What’s the opposite color of red?”
Mr. Krabs’ expression changed, and not in a good way. “Uh—wait- what kinda question is that?! There ain’t opposite colors ‘sides black and white!!” He declared.
Now it was the vendors’ turn to laugh. “That’s what they always say.” He said with a snide look at him.
“No one’s ever been able to answer that.” The vendor bragged. “I’ve been asking around for weeks, and no one-“
“It’s green.” Riley piped up.
The vendor froze and looked around. “What- who said that??”
“Uh…I did.” Riley muttered, still hiding behind Mr. Krabs. “The opposite of red is green. If you were asking what colors GO with red, then you’d say blue and yellow, because they’re all primary colors, but since you said opposite, and red and green are right across each other on color wheels normally and they contrast each other, you’d-… answer…green.” They faltered, feeling sets of eyes shift onto them. Their whole body felt prickly. “I uh…paint a lot.” They mumbled.
The vendor looked indignant. Riley was obviously right, but he wasn’t happy about it.
“…Ha, nice try, kid, but I asked the man here, not y-“
He peeked past Mr. Krabs and upon seeing Riley’s whole appearance, jumped back and yelped.
“SEA SNAKE!?” He shouted, then ducked behind his cart. “Uh, I mean—nice job, k-kid! Yeah, that’s the answer! You win!!”
Riley felt the same bitter, puzzled feeling when that guy in the crowd had said they had possibly stalked and bitten someone for no reason. Why would he do that? They weren’t even doing anything wrong, were they…?
“HA!!” Mr. Krabs exclaimed, pointing in triumph. “Gonna keep yer word, now huh?? Alright, how much free ice cream we talkin’ about here?” He asked, peeking over.
“A-as much as you want!!” The vendor squealed, throwing a fearful look at Riley. “Just go ahead, take it!!”
Mr. Krabs smiled wide, rubbing his claws together. “That’s what I like to hear!”
“…I’ll have sprinkles, please.” Riley said, almost a whisper.
The ice cream wasn’t even that good.
As Riley sat on a mahogany park bench and nibbled their treat, their mouth was filled with sweetness, but their body felt…bitter. Just…bitter. Even now, as they watched from the bench, they caught sight of fishes throwing them fearful looks and whispers. Some parents even held their children closer, or brought them to the opposite side they were walking on, away from Riley.
It felt like they were some…monster in a cage instead of a sea animal like them.
A spike of iron drove its way through their gut as they spied a mother and son duo walking by and talking about them;
“Mommy, what is THAT?”
“Oh, dear, that’s a sea snake, Jimothy. Don’t look it in the eye if it hisses!”
“Why, Mommy?”
“Those things are venom-users, son! You can never trust a venom-user!” She wagged her finger in the air to emphasize her point.
“Oh…” he looked at Riley nervously and clung to his mother.
A venom-user? What did that have to do with anything?
Sure, they knew their venom was bad for other fishes; Mom and Dad taught all their kids early as possible to never bite anybody unless necessary, like if they were threatening them or if they were doing things that were too far. Sea snakes had always been different from fish, Riley knew that. But still…in Rusty Anchor, no one seemed to mind that. Here, it stood out like a patch of fire coral in a kelp forest.
Now, more than ever, they wanted to go home. They wanted their parents. Mom and Dad would never have let any of these jerks treat Riley like a mindless beast…or at least that was satisfying to imagine.
Had Mom and Dad ever heard anything like that? Would they even take notice? Or would they just tell Riley they were overreacting again?
They looked out at Mr. Krabs to take their mind off things. He wasn’t doing much, just going around the park, looking for any other deals. Free stuff seemed to attract him like seanuts attracted scallops, and whenever a vendor or stall said anything could be free, he ran over, quick as a flash, and took any kind of thing they were selling for no money.
At one stand, they even saw him swipe a clawful of dollars from the back pocket of a merchant that refused to follow through with his offer.
Riley felt their mouth fall open. He just stole someone’s money?!
Maybe they should’ve been more worried about Mr. Krabs stealing their money instead of the strangers in the crowd, especially with how surprisingly fast and effective he had pickpocketed that guy. Uh oh. Had he already done that? No, their wallet was at the bottom of their backpack, even for that, that was impossible, right?
Nervous thoughts needled their brain, and soon Riley was rummaging through their pack again.
There, at the bottom. Thank Neptune. They took out the small gray-black slab with pastel marker drawings and opened it up, making sure all the money was there.
It looked that way. Riley exhaled through their slits. Why did they always do that to theirself? Always getting theirself worked up over nothing. It all ended up being nothing, like a river behind burning seaweed. They always ended up panicking over things they didn’t need to be frightened over.
Screech!!! Riley looked up to see a Camo-colored van halting at the edge of the park road, a satellite dish spinning around and skulls on the grill gleaming.
Who would own a van like that…?
They peeled their eyes away from the skulls and harpoon on the front to look at the side. In big red letters spray painted read: “Sea Hunters Inc”
Huh…why would hunters be near a par… Riley stifled a gasp.
Did someone call them to…catch THEM!?
No. No. No, that had to be illegal in some way, right? Right?! They hadn’t done anything wrong!! This had to be some kind of mix-up! Right?!
The burly group of fish with harpoons, hooks, and net guns getting out with steely lights in their eyes and growls on their lips said otherwise.
Riley gasped and dropped their ice cream, splattering it over the concrete.
They couldn’t be here! Forget the police station! They’d rather be stuck here, waiting for Mom and Dad, rather than be delivered to them with their body cut up and their head mounted on some cabin’s wall.
One of the men caught a glance of Riley and their 14-year-old mind blanched. They zoomed behind the bench they were sitting on just as the group of burly hunters stomped right up to them.
Riley crouched down, praying they hadn’t seen them. They could see one of their harpoon guns feet from their face, and they could already unpleasantly imagine how it must feel to be shot with that. They shuddered. Please don’t let them see me, Neptune…
The least muscular one walked to their spilt ice cream and adjusted his cowboy hat and pushed up his thick glasses.
He swiped up the ice cream with his finger and licked it, then nodded, a growling sigh emerging.
“Just what I thought. Sea Serpent. One of the deadliest kinds. It was a good thing we were called in, y’all.”
Riley felt as though they had been electrocuted and stomped into the ground. These guys were called in…? To kill them!? Why?? They said “deadliest kind”…were they really a threat even if they hadn’t done everything. Oh Neptune, who cared?!? They had to get out of here!!!
They looked around as one of the thugs began walking around and quickly slunk behind a nearby fish who was on the wide side. Then another one. Then a mailbox. Anything to get away from those hunters…!
They squeaked as the grunts started spreading out across the park. They couldn’t see Mr. Krabs anywhere…he was probably still on the hunt for cash, already forgetting them, just like Mom and Dad. Crap!
They caught a glimpse of one of the thugs asking the mother from earlier and panic surged through Riley like a wave of cold. Eek!
They saw the path back into town and decided to book it into there. At least they could lose the hunters there, right?
Oh no. There were even more hunters in the town central, asking around and brandishing their weapons. Oh no. Oh no! What should they do now?!
Riley’s mind swam as they cowered behind the big fish they hid behind and soon they were shaking and the hot-cold feeling stormed through them.
They couldn’t move. Luckily the fish hadn’t moved yet. Fear pulsed throughout their body, static flooding their senses. What could they do against a group of hunters?? They had to run-no, hide-no, RUN!! But how? They’d catch them in their giant boat and then-
A memory of yesterday suddenly flashed despite all the static and burning and freezing. When they had been panicking once they realized their family left, SpongeBob had been there. Yeah, he was there…he had told them to breathe. He even did it with them.
Riley inhaled, held, and breathed out. It worked and soon Riley could see through the static. Yeah. They couldn’t panic. That wouldn’t fix any problems here. They had to think. To focus. Look at their surroundings like a predator. Use what they had against the guys that were hunting them for it.
Ok. There were five hunters here, less than the ones at the park. They all were muscular and tall, but they didn’t seem that attentive or bright. At all, Riley added as a big blue fish asked a fire hydrant if it’d seen any sea serpents. Two were standing by a fountain chatting and one was sitting on a park bench, polishing a cuff bracelet. There weren’t any in the stores and buildings, maybe they could sneak into there and hide until this blows over and they leave?
Before they could think more about it and go through with any ideas, the van from earlier screeched up and the previous group jumped out and swarmed the village circle like a pack of sweaty, camo-wrapped dogfishes. They tipped over garbage cans, yelled at people to freeze, and one even smacked an ice cream cone out of a random kid’s hands. Riley gulped and soon everyone was demanding to know what was happening and more and more people were swarming near where Riley was hiding. They ducked their head and prayed to Neptune that no one would notice them.
Thankfully everybody was preoccupied with the burly thugs storming their town and Riley wasn’t seen like a drop of freshwater in a saltwater sea.
The leaner, shorter man with a giant cowboy hat strutted up to the center with a megaphone in hand. All the way in the crowd, Riley could smell his cologne and instantly their scent glands shriveled up.
“Attention, Bikini Bottom!!” He announced, grabbing the crowds’ focus in a second. The whine of the feedback cut into Riley’s earholes like steak knives and they clapped their hands over the sides of their head, cringing.
“No need to be alarmed here, folks!” He called out. Loud. Too loud. “We were just called in to take care of a little Sea Serpent problem in this township! We’ll have it all taken care of soon! Now just stay calm and carry on-“
Screams erupted and all the fish ran in every direction under the sea, freaking out and locking their doors.
Before Riley could blink, a giant cloud of dust flew up and cleared away. They coughed, their lungs itching like crazy, then they stood in shock, trying to process what just happened.
“Aw, shoot, that always happens.” The leader griped. Then he saw Riley standing in the middle of the street alone and did a double take.
“Hey, you there!” He yelled, pointing.
Riley’s former observations and plans flew out of their mind and they zoomed off, squeaking in fear.
“After that kid!!!” Big-Hat shouted.
What took place next was a bizarre blur of adrenaline, colors, and patterns.
Riley swam. Swam more than they ever had. Their heart pressed against their chest with every heartbeat and their throat burned from how long they ran, sweat beading on their head and neck, but they kept swimming, pushing through, not caring how much their lungs were pumping. When a thundering pack of sea snake hunters were on your tail, you often thought about other things.
No matter how many benches, stop signs, or trash cans Riley jumped over and tipped, the hunters always seemed to be two steps away from them, their harpoons gleaming and their eyes shining with aggression, like red pinpricks. And at the front of the stampede, on top of one of the most muscular brutes stood the leader, Big-Hat, sneering with thrills, pointing at them.
“Get back here, you lil monster!!” He shouted, his goons yelling in agreement like a growling, war-painted death rattle.
Riley screamed and swam even impossibly faster. Everything swirled together, mixing like a panic smoothie. They couldn’t even tell where they were going, but who in the ocean cared?! They had to get out of here!! They couldn’t breathe, they couldn’t—
SCREECH!!!
Riley turned and their vision was filled with smoke and wood, the sharp scent of gasoline and rust flooded their slits.
Oh crap. They had run into a street, and a bunch of boats had crashed at the crosswalk. About three from what they could see and all the drivers that were getting out sure weren’t happy.
“What’s your problem, kid?!” One shouted.
Riley tried to stammer out an apology but soon they saw the hunters on the side of the road and suddenly saying sorry seemed a very small priority.
“Eek!” They shrank down and sped off, seeing an open door and going in out of instinct.
Hiding behind a shelf of cereal and bagels, Riley leaned against a loaf of bread and caught their breath, or at least tried to. Their heart hammered away, their hands shaking, but there were no signs of the hunters. Riley exhaled, clutching their shirt and looking around.
The building they ran into was a supermarket, and a big one at that. Endless produce stalls and shelves stretched out, advertising their goods.
Thank Neptune. There were tons of places to hide in here! If those hunters came in here, there’s no way they’d find them, right? They seemed like professionals, but then again…Riley was different. Very different. Probably the most different sea snake they could’ve gone after.
Riley looked out at the hiding places in each aisle and a strange thought wormed its way into their brain: what if they could use their…oddness to save them?
No. No. No. Wait, that was stupid. Since when was being weird a good thing? It was literally what was putting them in danger right now! Riley shook their head and tucked that dumb thought away. DEEP away. That wouldn’t work.
All they had to do was stay put. Yeah, that sounded better. With any luck, the hunters wouldn’t come in and find them, and they could sneak away.
But to where? Maybe back to the Krusty Krab? What would SpongeBob do if he told them? He’d helped them before, would he help them with this? Or maybe he’d turn them in…who knew, Riley wondered darkly. Maybe he was just as wrongly prejudiced as the fish here. What if he had only taken them in because he was worried they’d bite him if he didn’t?
Then again…his daughter was a Lionfish. However a sea sponge had a lionfish baby, Riley had no idea, but they sure knew one prick of those spines and you’d be pumped full of venom and paralyzed. Did that mean he didn’t…care? Why?
Riley rubbed their eyes for no reason and snuck behind a vegetable stand, tired. From swimming for their life or reeling from the hurtful whispers and comments and stuff, they weren’t sure. Thinking was hard.
Still, they shouldn’t stick around a stall they easily stood higher than. The supermarket was packed, but they shouldn’t push their luck. The windows here were big too.
As they continued to sneak around the store, looking around for any signs of the hunters, they turned a corner around a shelf branding soap and nearly smacked into a fish.
“Ack-!! Sorry, I didn’t—“ they yelped, backing up.
“You’re fine, kid, just-“ he looked at them and his eyes nearly grew twice their size.
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!” The fish screamed at the top of his lungs, pointing. “THE SEA SERPENT!!! ITS IN THE STORE!!! SOMEONE HELP!!”
Riley flinched back, hissing out of pure reflex. Loud. Why was everybody so loud?
The fish screamed even louder and ran off, dropping a bunch of soap bottles. They clacked loudly on the marble floor and Riley swam away, clutching their ear-holes.
Turns out that wasn’t a good idea. The minute the other customers saw Riley, even more screams rang out and soon everyone’s eyes and fingers and shouts were all focused on them like laser beams of noise and panic.
Riley looked around quickly, trying to choke out something- ANYTHING- to stop all the noise and more people after them.
“Wait-WAIT— I’m not gonna hurt anyone! I don’t WANT to hurt anybody-! WAIT!” They cried, but the screams and shouts drowned them out. It was like a ripple trying to outdo a tidal wave.
“ITS GONNA BITE US ALL!!” A lady fish shrieked, running in circles.
“EVERYONE PANIC!!!” A fish standing on a checkout counter declared, waving his arms like a flying scallop.
“SOMEONE GET THOSE HUNTERS!!” Another parent fish cried out, clutching their child close.
“MY LEG!!!” Somebody howled amongst all the mayhem.
Riley backed up, static flooding everything. What should they do? What COULD they do?? With all this noise and chaos, those sea serpent hunters were sure to run over and get them!
“WAIT!!!” A random fish hollered, jumping on a produce stand, squashing a few lettuce heads. The panicking crowd froze and looked over.
“WHY should we all wait for some fancy-pants hunters to take care of this?!” He bellowed angrily, looking out at all of them. Then his eyes settled on Riley and they narrowed with anger.
He reached behind him and grabbed a pitchfork that had been placed in a lettuce head and yanked it out, points gleaming menacingly.
“LETS TAKE CARE OF THIS OURSELVES!!” He growled. Other fish nodded and soon grabbed other things to use as weapons, war crying.
Oh no.
Riley charged out the door screaming, the scared-crowd-turned-mob running after them, shouting to “Get them”
They dashed down more streets trying to lose the rioting group, but soon as they turned a street corner around an acupuncture clinic, they locked eyes with another group they were trying to avoid.
“THERE YOU ARE!” Big-Hat yelled, his goons whirling around, locked and loaded.
Riley let out a strangled yell and shortly they ran down the bustling streets with BOTH parties charging after them, yelling in savage fashion.
Fright and fear stormed Riley’s senses, driving them to scatter to wherever they could see. Running into a store with an open door again didn’t seem like a good idea, but it’s not like there was anything else to hide behind or try to lose them by obscuring theirself. It seemed the best option was just to keep swimming and hope that the crowds would wear themselves out. After all, predators had better stamina, right? They’d been swimming for this long and hadn’t stopped yet. And they were fast- the crowd was already farther and farther away as they watched with each glance over their shoulder. Ok…good. If they could keep this up, maybe they could find the Krusty Krab and hide there! Maybe——
CRASH!
Riley was sprawled on the ground, a mess of flowers and wood and paper all around them. They got up, rubbing their head where they had bashed it into a bouquet.
Uh oh. They sure hoped whoever owned this flower stand wasn’t going to join the mob when they saw this.
They looked behind them as they heard footsteps and gasped. So much for putting distance between them and the mob- they were RIGHT THERE!!!
They swam into the nearest dark place that they could see and took off, but soon they saw a brick wall and froze.
Uh oh. This wasn’t a tunnel. It was an alley.
And they had just gotten theirself cornered by an angry mob and a group of bloodthirsty hunters who specialized in THEIR species.
Riley turned and saw the horde looming closer, pitchforks and torches raised, the hunters that started all this at the head, brandishing harpoons and nets. Big-Hat rubbed his hands, chuckling deeply.
Riley slumped against the cold bricks, shuddering, eyes wide in terror. They couldn’t breathe, they couldn’t THINK, there was too much static and they couldn’t move. They couldn’t even move their hands to clutch their chest in hopes of steadying their heart. There wasn’t anything to steady it over. The army got closer and closer, like a pack of orca circling a seal…no offense to either of those species.
“Alright, you slippery serpent.” Big-Hat announced threateningly, grabbing a net from one of his minions. “Your times up scaring this poor little town!!”
Riley closed their eyes, and covered up their face, bracing for the inevitable violence.
They even tried to whisper out a prayer to Neptune, Poseidon, Athena, any god or goddess that might listen. Even a god like Zeus or Jupiter would do…
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!” A familiar, pirate-like voice rang out, halting the rabble’s advance.
Riley looked past their hands just as a well-known red portly shape with a baby-blue shirt and jeans jumped in-between them and the crowd, claws outstretched.
Mr. Krabs!?
“What do ya idiots think yer doin’?!” He barked at them all, waving his claw as a warning to stay back.
The group was frozen, watching him with shock and confusion.
“What are you doing??” Big-Hat shot back at him, incredulous. “We were called in to deal with a sea serpent that was threatening these residents!!”
The mob let loose a flurry of agreeing shouts.
“That be a load of tartar sauce!!” Mr. Krabs snapped, irritated as his color. “This kid’s with me an’ they ain’t hurt anyone!! They ain’t even able ta look most people in th’ eye!! They wouldn’ hurt a sea urchin!”
Relief, the sweetest relief Riley had ever felt, washed over them like waves of honey. They looked at Mr. Krabs and the way he stood between them and the crowd. He hadn’t even known them for a few days, but it was clear he was ready to fight, his sharp claws shining like two scythes.
They had never thought a guardian angel would swoop in for them, much less a guardian angel with red carapace and pockets stuffed with baubles and free junk from the park. Still, in a situation like this, Riley supposed they shouldn’t be too picky.
The group grumbled amongst themselves and shook their heads. Uh oh. What if Mr. Krabs couldn’t convince them to back off?
Big-Hat especially looked skeptical and looked over Mr. Krabs’ shoulder. He gazed closely at Riley; their scales, eyes and stripes. His eye contact felt like an uncomfortable x-ray beam, seeing every inch of them. He looked confused…then surprised and indignant.
“Hold on a minute!” He proclaimed loudly, making Riley flinch. “This ain’t no sea SERPENT! That’s a sea SNAKE!” He smacked his forehead and whirled around to the crowd, now furious.
“Which one of you numbskulls called us in for a sea Snake?! We hunt SEA SERPENTS!! Those are two completely different things! You guys just made us hunt down a random citizen!!?”
He glanced back at Riley and went back to chewing the suddenly shocked and murmuring crowd out.
“They’re a KID too! You made us HUNT a KID???”
The crowd looked over and now taking a closer look at the young snake, “Ohh”s, “That makes sense”s, and “My bad”s rang out and some dropped their weapons.
Riley wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted or overjoyed. They settled on blinking rapidly and standing there, frozen and mouth agape.
“Tha’s right!” Mr. Krabs scolded, wagging a clawed appendage at Big-Hat. “You should all be ashamed a’ yer selves!!”
Big-Hat and his goons squirmed uncomfortably and looked down, now fascinated in their finned feet. The same crowd that had been so set on running Riley down and annihilating them now looked at them with sympathy and shame.
“Well!” Big-Hat said abruptly. “We’d better skedoodle now, since there’s no serpent! See you all around!!” And quick as a flash, all the hunters were gone with their boss.
Cold trickled around Riley, mixing with the salt and sweetness in their throat. Bile and tears burned down in their eyes and throat. What the halibut was that all about?!? They just ran off, Scot-free?
Mr. Krabs shook his head, rolling his eyestalks. “Typical.” He muttered. “Well, at least that’s all over, huh?” He looked back at Riley.
Why was he so ok with this??? Why was the crowd just now realizing that they weren’t a danger?! Why was this so unfair?! It wasn’t fair!! It wasn’t!!
The static came back, erasing the numbness in Riley’s scales and replacing it with the feeling of bitter quicksand. Tears sprung up and they bit their lip, but a small stifled whine escaped and in a few seconds they cried into their hands and shoved through the crowd into the streets, sobbing.
They didn’t know where they were going or what they were doing. They just wanted to swim away and get out of here. They just wanted to go home.
“Slithers! Wait!”