Work Text:
Chapter 7: When in Bikini Bottom…
Riley fled. Fled to where, who cared. Not them. As long as it was away from that alley and all those fish who tried to hunt them alongside those stupid hunters.
Tears streamed down their face and fell onto the ground like broken rain. Bitterness spouted from them like a volcano of sadness and the world around them felt like it was spinning and fracturing all at once, swirling and melting in a clutter of emotion and movement. So much for this town seeming friendly and peaceful. Boy, were they wrong. They were stupid. So stupid. Stupid for not being on their guard, stupid for getting cornered…stupid for taking that dumb nap and getting theirself left here in this place with no family.
Finally, they slowed at a small bridge near a part of downtown, their lungs and heart and muscles unable to swim fast any more. Grabbing the rails, they sniffled, wiping their eyes and slitted nose, tears still dripping down their face.
They wanted to go home. They wanted to hide from all this…
Spotting the space below near the piers, hidden away under the rails and road, Riley jumped onto the other side and made their way down, sitting against the green bricks by an abandoned cardboard box. There, they laid their head in their lap, and continued to cry silently.
Ugh, wait till Mom and Dad found out about this. They’d be so upset with them for causing so much trouble…after suing everyone who had been in the crowd for threatening a member of the Slithers family. They could already hear the scolding and feel the dread and shame…if they even remembered they were there after all the revenge on the offenders.
Why hadn’t they come back yet…? Would they ever come back and get them?
Riley tried not to think about that, but the thoughts still muscled their way into their mind. What if Mom and Dad never came back and they would be here forever with all these people who saw them as a monster? In this strange town that made little sense and it’s zany aura felt almost surreal and genuine all at the same time… It was so messy and scary here. They wanted to go home…at least with their siblings they only teased them and mocked them…they didn’t think there was anything worse than that until today.
Oh Neptune, imagine if Maureen or James found out about this. Lynn would be singing her ridiculous “Riley the Oddity” tune all day while they all laughed at them for getting in trouble like that. Nothing like this had ever been done before, in all the disorder that the Slither kids caused in the neighborhood.
Mom and Dad, if they ever came back, would be so annoyed and exasperated.
They sighed and gazed out on the trash near them and the small river that stretched out beyond the piers, or they would be if they were looking at anything. Their tears had finally subsided, but their head was no less foggy with despair. Everyone would be so embarrassed about them…
Except for one.
Another weird thought popped up again. Would SpongeBob be embarrassed or disappointed in them about this?
That felt a little silly, anyone would be. They even ran off bawling their eyes out like a baby. Yet…would he be ashamed? Or…concerned? He seemed…kind. Kinder than anyone Riley Slithers had ever met before. And…caring. In all his interactions with little Ellie, he hadn’t gotten mad with her over anything she did. Mom and Dad had never held Abel, Amelia, and Emmett like he held Ellie. The way he cradled her and smothered her in kisses. That was unlike anything Mom and Dad had done with the Slithers kids. And he was gentle and accepting of their abnormal behaviors. Mom and Dad were never that way about them.
True, different strokes for different parents. Their teachers had mentioned that. Even so…seeing him doing that made Riley wonder. And feel strange. They felt dread about their parents finding out about their mishaps, but when thinking about SpongeBob they instead felt…comfort? Relief? Both?
They weren’t sure how they felt about that or WHY they felt that way. Feeling more placated by a random guy only 10-ish years older than them over their own parents?! That sounded…off. Like everything about Riley in the first place.
“Slithers?”
Riley didn’t bother looking up. Mr. Krabs. He probably was here to rebuke them over wailing and running away. Riley guessed they couldn’t blame him as their cheeks burned with chagrin at the impending reprimand.
“Slithers??”
The sound of his unusual walk drew closer and then it paused.
“Hey, there ya are.”
Riley didn’t react.
“Ya wanna get outta there now?”
They still didn’t react. The mere thought of moving their head felt exhausting.
“…You ok there, kid?” He said quietly and more gentle than they ever heard him.
Riley’s lip started to quiver but they still didn’t move. Their eyes were still wet, but had no other energy for crying. They looked down at an empty can with a dead urchin to make it go away. They didn’t care if now they wanted to throw up.
They heard Mr. Krabs grunt and felt the impact of him jumping down nearby. They had expected him to start scolding by now. Why wasn’t he doing that? Why did everything do the opposite of what they expected here.
They glanced out of the corner of their eyes and saw he was leaning against the wall, hands stuffed into his pockets somehow with all the junk and despite their size.
His eyes looked…sorry? Calm? Who cared. They never got expressions right. Ever. It was another one of their stupid quirks.
Their throat had a boulder lodged in it, but they throttled a small, delicate sentence out: “I…I didn’t even…do anything wrong…”
The boulder tightened, now with barbed wire and they forced their eyes shut to push down a new batch of tears. They must sound so whiny right now…
Mr. Krabs sighed and Riley heard a scratching sound, like he was rubbing the back of his head. Then he sighed again. He must be embarrassed, but it sounded more…sad?
“…Yeah. I get that.” He said softly after a while. He got closer and sat down next to Riley.
He smelled like a strange mix of sea salt and pine coral. Also…just something crustacean-y. Riley still couldn’t bring theirself to look up however. They just didn’t feel like doing anything.
“…Y’know…” Mr. Krabs grunted after clearing his throat. “This uh…be a small town.”
He looped a clawed arm around Riley gently.
“An’ normally I like meself a small town. Less competition, an’ that always means more money. Tha’s always good.”
His claw gently rested on their shoulder. Riley would usually squirm around- they didn’t like being touched when they were upset. But they were too tired to protest.
“…However, um…” he looked at the river flowing by them and looked a little downcast now. “A small town usually means that…th’ folks there are also…” -he cleared his throat again- “small-minded.”
Riley shifted and looked up at him a little. He saw them look but acted like he was still watching the water.
“An’ when a town be like that, they all tend to…think wrong o’ different kinds of folk.”
He looked at the top of their head. His eyes were glazed over with sympathy and…memory?
“Believe me, I know that. Especially when me and me lil daughter Pearl firs’ came here.”
Riley blinked. So ‘Pearl’ was his daughter?
“It been a dark time.” Mr. Krabs continued. “Folks were movin’ everywhere. It was still long enough after the war and th’ other stuff that folks were still figurin’ out what to do an’ how to recover. Me darlin’ lil girl Pearl was just a baby, y’see? An’ when we both moved here I was still tryin’ to figure out how to provide for me an’ her.”
His expression had been almost nostalgically happy, but now it grew darker.
“Th’ problem was…mos’ fish there back in me day didn’t exactly want a crab employee. Or neighbor. Every day as I walked down the street people would give me weird looks…even worse ones when they saw me with Pearl. If crimes occurred nearby, th’ townsfolk would whisper that it had to be me. Mor’ than once I found meself ousted and seen as a barbaric landlubber, even with me bein’ a veteran and all.”
A roguish grin tugged at the corners of his mouth and he brought Riley closer. They had a sneaking suspicion he did this a lot with SpongeBob for some reason.
“‘Course, they all ate their words when they all tasted a Krabby Patty fir th’ first time! Lemme tell ya some’in, kid- when I was finally able ta open me own restaurant, everyone whispers Id’da gone off th’ deep end. ‘A crab runnin’ his own place? Whoever heard’a that?’ ‘That dim-witted crustacean’s gone mad!’ But once they got their heads outta their captain’s quarters and started showin’ up, they sure changed their tune! Yessir, now look at me restaurant! The most popular in the whole city! An’ makin’ more beautiful money by the day!”
He blinked and looked down at Riley, coming back to the present. He cleared his throat yet again and looked away, now a bit embarrassed himself.
“My point is, kid-“ he hesitated. “…Riley. Wherever ya go, especially in this town, ye’ll always find people who see yer species over yer heart. An’ that…that’ll sting. It’ll hurt every time. But…ye get used to it over time to some decree. An’ the important thing is to always never let it get to ya. Ye hear?”
Riley blinked slowly and looked down.
“Look, those folks back there at th’ alley are real sorry about what happened. An’…I can’t exactly guarantee nuthin’ like that’ll happen again. But if it does, I jus’ want ya to know ye can always come to Old Man Krabs when it does, an’ the more ye show that they gots nuthin’ to be afraid of, they’ll welcome ya eventually.”
Riley still said nothing.
“We clear, Slithers?”
They still didn’t say anything…they weren’t sure they could. But they could do something, and that something was to lean into his arm more and nod, eyes closed.
His shirt was softer than they pictured… it felt nice, like being tucked away in a warm little book nook. They exhaled and the barbed boulder loosened in their neck.
“Yeah. We’re clear, sir.”
“Good.” His claw squeezed their shoulder delicately, then he stood up. The cozy moment was over. “Now let’s get down to that police station, huh? Time is money, after all.”
Riley remembered how he was so insistent on getting as much free stuff as possible from the park and a wry chuckle made it’s way out of their mouth.
“Yes, sir.”
The police fish were much friendlier than the townsfolk, all things considered.
After chatting with a couple officers, a nice lady officer sat near Riley and asked them a couple questions. It was nothing much, just where their parents could be, how far away it was, how long it had been already, and who they were staying at for now, etc.
When they answered it was SpongeBob SquarePants they were staying with, she had a funny reaction. She tilted her head a little in confusion, but she also was smiling with a knowing look.
“SquarePants, huh?”
“You know him?”
“Sure do. I go down to the Krusty Krab nearly every week. Little guy sure puts his heart and soul into everything he does. Might be a little on the childish side but he’s got a heart of gold.”
Riley made a face. SpongeBob…childish? They…guessed that made sense, given how young he seemed, but he owned his own house. He had a pet snail he took care of by himself. He even had a job and a baby daughter. Childish didn’t entirely seem to fit him…youthful maybe. Energetic, true. Maybe even…naive? But not childish. That made it seem like that was bad. And Riley didn’t think that part of SpongeBob was bad.
“Uh…no.” Riley’s mouth said against their will.
“What was that, hon?” The police lady said, writing something down.
“He’s um…not that childish.” Riley half-whispered.
The lady looked at them as if they had spoken another language.
“…Uh huh? Well, he may be chaotic but I sure know he’s a sweet little boy. You should be ok staying with him for now, alright, sweetie?”
“Yeah, ok. I want to anyway.” Riley responded. “…Wait, what do you mean, ‘for now’?”
She gave them a sad look, sighing. “Lake Lazuli is pretty far from here, kiddo. We could send a call to any offices down there, but even sending a car down to the lake would take days. I hate to say it, but…you’re probably going to be here for a few days at least depending on if we get that call through.”
Riley sat there and let that sink in. Days. They’d be here for days…at least. According to the POLICE.
They didn’t feel scared or shocked this time. Just…disappointed. With all that happened today, maybe their “shock gland” was all shriveled up.
They didn’t want to be here. They wanted to be at the lake house with their family, like how it was every year. The people here were jerks. Jerks who thought they were a horrible, venomous beast. They didn’t care if they were all sorry now. Good. They should be ashamed. They should be sorry. Those jerks should all go eat trash…
Doesn’t that make me as bad as them? Said the new, weird little voice in their head.
Riley thought about that and tried not to think too much. What did it matter? They had a good reason…
Whatever. It wasn’t a good time anyway.
“That’s…fine. It could be worse.” Riley said, shrugging.
“You sure, hon?” The policewoman asked, sympathy and concern in her voice.
“…Yeah. I don’t mind staying a while.” They replied a little flatly.
“…” She stopped scribbling something and kneeled by them. “Hey.”
Riley reluctantly looked at her.
“ Old Man Krabs told us what happened. Sorry your first day had to go like this, sweetheart. It all was just a big misunderstanding, ok? This town isn’t like what you might think.”
Riley bit their lip. A misunderstanding didn’t change the fact that they had thought they were going to die.
They sighed and nodded. If they were going to be stuck here for days they might as well not be obsessed with all that.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She smiled and ruffled Riley’s hair, making them flinch from how unexpected the touch was.
They hoped they would see SpongeBob again soon.
When they got back to the restaurant, SpongeBob’s reaction wasn’t what Riley expected.
“WHAT??!” He yelled, grabbing several customers’ attention and also making Squidward jump, cringing. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN HUNTERS THOUGHT RILEY WAS A SEA SERPENT?!?”
He looked so distraught while staring out through the small window to the kitchen, Riley got the strange mental impression of a box within a box, giving them the bizarre urge to laugh.
He disappeared from the tiny window and soon dashed out into the restaurant and to Riley like a yellow comet in a fast food employee outfit.
“ARE YOU OK, RI!? DID THEY HURT YOU?!? Oh NEPTUNE, I should’ve gone WITH you-!!!”
Riley leaned back from the noise, surprised. He was concerned like they thought he would’ve been, but they didn’t picture him being so worried for them as well.
“No, no, I’m fine, I’m not hurt-“ They said, but soon SpongeBob was leading them to a table and made them sit down.
“You POOR thing!! I can’t believe something like that would happen!! You must’ve been so scared, you poor kid! So much for this being a good day for you!!”
He put a blanket over their shoulders- wait, where’d he get a blanket from?- and fussed over them even more. There was a warm cup of tea in their hands and a plate of coral bits near them on the table before they could even blink.
“SpongeBob.” Mr. Krabs said.
SpongeBob didn’t even notice. “Are you alright, Riley??” He asked again, putting a hand on their shoulders.
“Well, I-“
“What am I saying, you probably can’t even talk right now from that ordeal! The police were called right?? I can’t believe-“
His voice sped up with every word while he ran around, and soon the difference between him and a small ball (or square?) of lightning became blurred. He zipped and zoomed around like a bullet, energy exuding off the walls and every surface.
Riley watched him in amazement. They knew he was energetic but even their younger siblings couldn’t match this guy’s hyperactivity! He even looked like a little kid, with his animated gestures, and high voice, going on and on about worrying over them like he had batteries in him somewhere, lighting him up from the inside. Matching his colors, Riley thought to theirself, amused. They couldn’t believe there was a guy like this with this much energy and enthusiasm.
Whether or not his energy was infectious or it was the warmness of the tea, but Riley unexpectedly felt a small amount of energy well up in them too. They looked around, smiling a little, expecting SpongeBob’s reaction to infuse the room with his strange vibe, but none of the customers even noticed it, except for a few who looked up and shot SpongeBob a couple of judgy looks.
Riley blinked and whatever spell was on them wavered a small amount. The way they all ignored him was like ignoring a frantic sun in the building.
Mr. Krabs watched his employee with a deadpan expression.
“SpongeBob.” He repeated.
SpongeBob didn’t hear him, still running around and going on and on.
“SpongeBob.”
Still a yellow hurricane until finally he reached out a red claw and grabbed SpongeBob by the head, causing him to snap like a rubber band, freezing in his tracks.
“SPONGEBOB!!” Mr. Krabs bellowed.
“Yes, sir?” SpongeBob asked with a hilariously innocent, perplexed tone.
“I got somethin’ from th’ cops ya need to sign, son.”
“Oh?”
Mr. Krabs reached into his pockets and yanked out a couple pieces of paper
“Step into my office, boy.” He looped an arm around his yellow shoulder and pulled him to the side, past the counter and into a door on the left side.
Riley watched them go still pondering on how everyone else barely batted an eye at how SpongeBob had just…bounced off the walls and exuded enough energy to power the sun. Were the people in Bikini Bottom used to things like that? Could ANYONE get used to a thing like that? That looked so…different. Everything here was different. In good ways and bad. That should’ve made Riley cringe and fret. That should’ve made them static-y. That defied everything they knew. There should’ve been just good or just bad. That’s how it always worked.
Instead they just felt…well, who cared. They had gotten so wrapped up in their feelings and stuff lately. Maybe it was part of the reason they were so stressed lately…besides the reason they were almost chased down and hunted…AND left behind by their family in a random town, but they didn’t want to think about it anymore. Time to think about something else.
Seeing as they were going to be here for a few days at least maybe they should start getting used to things like that; the general chaos in this Bikini Bottom place. Could they even get used to things like that? Well, when in Rome… wait no. They didn’t want to act like the townspeople here. At all. They wanted to be like…SpongeBob. Different in a good way. Not different like how they were. How they were so weird.
There was a click and the door to Mr. Krabs’ office swung open again, cutting into Riley’s thoughts. SpongeBob strolled out holding a document of paper, staring at it deeply, blue eyes wide. Mr. Krabs walked out behind him, pockets now emptied of free junk and putting away a pen. “Alright, that should be in order.” He muttered, then whacked SpongeBob’s back playfully. “Th’ kids all yers, lad. Try not t’ get ‘em into trouble I wouldn’t get ‘em into.” He guffawed at that comment and walked away to take care of something.
SpongeBob watched him go then looked at the paper Riley guessed he had just signed about them staying with him. It almost looked like he was reading the fine print, but no one ever did that. Maybe..? Nevertheless he looked over at Riley and folded the paper away in his pocket.
“You doing ok, Ri?”
Riley felt a smile tug at their mouth again. They liked that nickname a lot.
“Yeah…definitely better now.”
“So…uh, Mr. Krabs kinda talked with me and said that you might-“
“-be here for a few days.” They sighed. “Yeah…I know. The police told me everything.”
He nodded in reply and hopped onto a barrel-chair. “You know what that means?”
“…Yeah.” They slumped. Days before I see my family or home again.
“I can show you all around town!!!” SpongeBob burst out happily. “Ooh this’ll be great! I can show you all my favorite places!! We can go down to the Goo Lagoon, or I can get tickets to Glove World!! OOH, we can go see a movie too! The theaters here are great!! OR go check out the art stores here! We could get you some new colored pencils or markers!! WAIT! NO! Jellyfish Fields!!! Oh, we could go there, once I get you a net! Or the Fry Cook Museum!!!” He listed excitedly, then paused, his eyes somehow widening even more. Then he bit his tongue, giggling and shaking his hands. “Never mind. I’ve got a better idea than ALL those put together!!!” He chuckled, rubbing his hands together. “Can’t tell you what it is though, Ri! We’ll do it tomorrow!”
Riley tilted their head. “Why?”
SpongeBob gave them a mischievous look and booped them on the slits. Riley blinked and flicked their tongue. “Now, now, I can’t just tell you! It’ll spoil the surprise! We’ll go tomorrow! I just know you’ll love her!”
Now it was Riley’s turn to smirk and return the slyness.
“So, it’s a she?”
SpongeBob blanked then laughed. “Ok ok ok, you got me there, but I’m not telling you any more, alright? Don’t try and worm it outta me!” He drummed his hands on the table then jumped onto his feet and winked at them. “How about you join me in the kitchen for now? Ellie’s in there, you guys can play while I work!”
Riley looked at his face for a while. He wasn’t even fazed or upset by having a random, weird kid stay at his place, disrupting his life? He didn’t seem that way. He was excited about them? They wondered why. Maybe he was just that way with everyone? That made sense. That also felt…comforting. They were glad that if they were stuck here, they were here with him.
“Ok.” They nodded, a rare grin appearing on their face. They also had a strange feeling this place wasn’t as bad as it seemed.