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“Hey,” Kai suddenly said one morning, lying on the bed, his head hanging off. “Be honest with me for a second.”
“I’m always honest with you,” Damon replied from his desk, flipping through a book. Kai groaned from the bed. “Just—okay—is it obvious?”
The debater hummed. “That you’re super annoying? And clingy? Yeah.”
Kai frowned. “Not that! Jesus! Let me rephrase, uhm.” beats passed. The room was silent, save for the rustling of bed sheets and the flip of a page.
“Can’t you just spit it out? It can’t be that hard.”
Kai didn’t respond with his usual whining or complaint. Instead, he said, “Okay, then. Do you know?”
“Jesus Christ, Kai,” Damon murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. Surprisingly, to him at least, Kai sounded uncharacteristically serious. Him? Serious? Please. “Spare me.”
“Do you know that I like you?”
The room went silent again.
He turned to face Kai. His head was still hanging off the bed, still pouting as always, eyelashes fluttering. He smiled, and for some odd reason, it made Damon’s heart pound in his chest.
“You like me?”
“Oh my god.” Kai ran a hand down his face, like he was about to burst a vein. “Yes! Yes, yes I—I’ve liked you! For weeks! Years! Maybe almost for—our entire time here!” he stumbled over his words, before eventually burying his face into his hands.
“I’ve liked you since the middle of our first year, dude!”
Damon was flabbergasted. Absolutely gagged. He could feel his face heating up like crazy, and his brain was still processing what Kai had said.
“You like me,” he swivelled his chair around, fully facing Kai, pointing a finger to himself. Him? Kai Monteago, liked him? He was so sure he was dreaming.
Now, not to say that Damon thought that he himself wasn’t attractive. He thought he was decent, atmost. But Kai is an influencer with thousands, or maybe hundreds of thousands of followers all over social media. Surely a few hundred people follow him for his looks. Someone like him, charming enough to have such a presence both online and real life, liked Damon?
He truly must have been dreaming.
“Yes!” Kai uncovered his face, almost falling off the bed, causing Damon to reach out in panic. He scrambled for purchase, before he managed to find stability. Pause.
“Heh, just proved my theory that you actually care for my well being,” Kai snickered, that shit eating grin plastered on his face. Damon groaned. “I don’t want you to bash your head against the floor and bleed out. You seriously think people would believe me if I said you were being a dumbass?”
Kai shrugged. “Fair.”
Damon coughed. Standing up, he plopped himself down right beside Kai on the bed. The latter hummed. “You wanna know when it dawned on me?”
“Uh.” The debater blinked. “…Yes?”
Kai giggled, and that tugged on his roommate’s heartstrings. “There’s… several. Fell a little harder each time. The first time? That one time you let me cuddle up to you. The thermostat thingy.”
Oh.
First Year
Kai hated how stupid his academy could be sometimes.
Pause, he liked his academy, okay? The dorms were awfully comfortable, had good and working utilities, and had plenty of space. The teachers weren’t all that bad, students were given breaks, the programs were fun and engaging, among others, yada yada yada. Expected from a prestigious institution like Eden’s Garden, of course.
However, last week, some idiot—idiots, excuse him—had somehow managed to break the thermostat.
“Apparently,” Kai sneezed, bundled up in his multiple blankets on his bed. He sniffled, then continued. “They somehow snuck into the room the thermostat was in!”
“Uhm. Without Tozu noticing?” Damon asked from his side of the room, sinking further into the mattress of his bed, curled up in a blanket.
Kai shrugged. Damon sneezed. “Hey, I mean, respect.”
“What is there to respect? They’re the reason you’ve been whining and complaining about how cold it is all day.”
“I mean, respect for being able to avoid Tozu’s gaze!” Kai’s eyes darted across the room, landing on the security camera in the corner. “Dude, he’s probably watching us right now. He’ll pull me aside during class and tell me off in Tozu fashion for siding with the perpetrators!”
Damon sighed, head cocked to the side. “Seriously, stop thinking so much about this.” He twirled his wrist in a circular motion, something Kai noticed he did a lot while thinking. “The tamest thing he’ll do is maybe look at you all passive aggressive.”
He shook his head, recalling all the moments where Tozu had stared at him with that passive aggressiveness. Maybe it wasn’t explicit, but seriously, he could feel it. Always sent a chill down his spine.
Kai smacked his lips. All judgemental. “…Actually, hey,” he called out, gesturing. “Come here. Cuddle with me.”
Damon blinked. Twice, then he slowly said, “I don’t know why I would.” Well, Kai would probably say that it’s just cuddling with your roommate in a totally-not-gay-way-that-makes-me-question-how-I-feel-for-you. Stupid.
With a pout, Kai explained, “Cuz I read online once that cuddling together produces, you know, warmth! Especially in cold environments. Am I wrong?”
They both gaped at each other for a few moments, before Damon huffed, and reluctantly made his way to Kai’s bed. “You’re not.”
Kai cackled, pulling Damon towards him as soon as he sat down. His hands slid up his sweater, his dress shirt, before his fingers met bare skin.
“Jesus, I never understood how you’re always so goddamn warm.” Kai sighed in bliss, his arms nicely wrapped around Damon’s waist, using him like a human heater.
“You’re freezing. Of course I’m going to be warm to you.” Damon responded, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth in fluster.
In response, Kai sibilated, leaning forward and placing his chin on Damon’s shoulder. If he wasn’t blushing by now, he absolutely was now. Okay, fine, yes, he was touch starved as hell. So what?
“…Do you know why they haven’t fixed the thermostat yet?” He mustered out, attempting to keep the previous conversation going.
“Oh,” Kai sat up, that smile he always wore during (what he called) gossip sessions all on display. “I don’t. Do you? Please, please tell me you do.”
“Yea. The suggestion box they opened was filled with complaints and stuff about the thermostat and the students wanting another vending machine.” Damon scoffed. “Apparently, while they didn’t have the ‘budget’ to fix it and add another machine, they had the money to pay a third party to do a mural.”
As Damon continued on, Kai listened and nodded along, occasionally with an ‘mhm’ and ‘yeah’. He would usually be the one talking, but hearing his roommate’s voice; so smooth and nice to listen to. Admittedly, he always loved hearing his voice. He could make a great audiobook. A career, maybe.
It was then when Kai really noticed. Properly, seriously noticed.
Damon was attractive.
His hair was slightly tousled, from the amount of shuffling and curling up in bed, Kai assumed. His roots were showing just a little, and god if that didn’t make it all better. Also, he had dimples, which were the most attractive thing about him, if he had to admit. He was frustrated, ranting about ‘why did they have to pay 5 digits just to paint the stupid mural’ and ‘why couldn’t they just get the art students to do it’.
And so god, Diana Venicia, please help him.
Kai was falling hard.
For Damon Maitsu. Damon, the same guy who he had some stupid argument with almost everyday. The same guy who seemed to have some sort of vendetta against everyone who spoke to him. The same guy who had some sort of vendetta against him specifically. The same guy who is now letting Kai have his freezing fingers touch his bare skin.
It was so, so surreal. Kai was fucked.
“It dawned on you while I was frustrated and pissed?” Damon deadpanned, blowing a strand of hair away from his face. “Wow. Says a lot about what you like in a man. Should I let your followers know?”
“It’s nothing like that!” Kai immediately flushed, and Damon found himself smirking at that. “I—It’s just—I never got a good look at you! Upclose! At the time, of course, but—“
“Sure.”
He sputtered, reaching out to knock Damon’s leg, causing him to hiss. “Shut up,”
“What the hell? You treat your crush like this?” He cursed, rubbing the spot where Kai had knocked. “Yes, I do. It’s just the same treatment you give me. Mutualism! Equality!”
“I don’t hit you,” Damon sassed. Kai’s hand had now extended to gently caress his face. Jesus Christ, he doesn’t remember him being so forward with his actions.
“I know,” Kai clicked his tongue. For a few moments, a small, genuine smile made his way onto his face. Damon could’ve sworn he choked on air. “You’re very handsome, Damon.”
“Are you doing this just to distract me from your obvious mistake just now?”
He could feel Kai’s hand tense. The influencer’s lips pressed into a thin line, before he averted his gaze. “Maybe?”
That, surprisingly, got a quiet chuckle out of Damon. Kai was falling in love all over again.
“And, no, you wanna know the worst part after I knew I liked you?”
Damon nodded in lieu of a verbal response. Somehow, that made Kai flush even more. Curse him. Curse him and his stupid feelings, always wandering their way back to Damon.
“The pining.”
“Really?”
“Yes! All I could think, no matter what you did oh, he’s so hot! And handsome! And pretty! And attractive!” Kai swallowed. “But that’s so stupid! Like that one time in second year when we were stuck in the elevator!”
Damon’s nose scrunched. “Let’s not…”
“Oh, we will! It—It was so stupid! Because you’re not supposed to look all attractive when we’re in a hot elevator and we’re dying!”
“…You’re insane.”
Second Year
“I don’t get why we have to get teacher’s permission to use the elevator,” Kai grumbled, the books in his hands feeling heavier by the moment. Damon side eyed him, pressing the elevator button.
“Because students are likely to misuse it,” he responded, adjusting his grip on his stack. Kai pouted. “But that’s so stupid! People misuse it anyway! Why don’t we get, like, a student elevator, or something?”
Damon exhaled. His eyebrows furrowed, shuffling back as the elevators door opened and a few teachers stepped out. Kai followed. “Stop complaining, please.”
Kai clicked his tongue in annoyance, rolling his eyes. They made their way into the elevator, pressing the button to the seventh floor. As the elevator slowly (what the hell, man?) made its way up, he wondered why there were so many floors in the first place.
Well, yeah, it’s a prestigious school and all, but seven? Seven floors? That’s ridiculous. There was a lot of programs and stuff for their interests, and while Kai appreciated all the efforts, several floors… maybe he’s just overthinking this. Yeah. And not to mention, this elevator sucked absolute ass, it was moving so slowly—
Screeeccchhh—
Kai yelped, losing his balance as a few books slammed against the floor. The deafening screech of metal echoed, the elevator braking to a sudden stop. He was so, so sure he had like, five heart attacks just now.
Silence. Then a ‘tsk’ sound.
“We’re stuck.” Damon groaned.
“Stuck!? In the elevator!?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck!” Kai cried, slumping down to the floor. He let the books he was holding go, the sound of them meeting the floor reverberating throughout the elevator. “We’re gonna die here,” he muttered, “We’re gonna die here without anyone knowing!”
“We’ll live,” Damon replied, all nonchalance, pressing the emergency button. Kai was too busy wallowing in his sorrow to notice Damon’s confused expression. “…Eh?”
“What? Don’t tell me the emergency button is broken too!”
“Well.”
“Oh my god!”
Kai hid his head in his hands, slumping down further, nearly lying down on the floor now. Damon paused, placing his own stack of books down, and reluctantly lumbering over to sit down beside him.
Well, it wasn’t the fact that they were stuck in the elevator to Kai, it was the fact that they were stuck together. Alone. One on one. With his stupid, attractive, handsome crush.
Goodness.
And he was sitting beside him, looking all composed and whatnot, it pissed him off. How can someone be so calm in a situation like this and look so goddamn charming?
He could feel his face flushing. He was going to die of embarrassment.
“Hey,” Damon nudged him with his elbow, voice uncharacteristically hushed. Not the time. “Breathe. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m trying,” Kai replied, face still burning up. He removed his hands from his face, resting them on his stomach. “I’m trying to breathe properly, it’s seriously not working! It’s game over for me!”
He could see Damon’s lips pursing in thought. God, that was cute. The latter shifted, a clammy hand coming to rest on his shoulder. “Don’t—Don’t say that. You might jinx it.” Asshole! “Seriously, we’re not going to rot in here.”
Kai stayed still for a few moments, turning his head to look up at Damon. Then, he quickly turned away.
“…What?” He could sense the annoyance plastered on his face. And the hand on his shoulder tightening by just a fraction.
“Nothing! It’s just—dude. Why have you been so nice to me lately?” Kai raised an eyebrow, hands fiddling with his rings.
Damon flinched at that. What kind of question is that? “Do you want me to, what, call you an idiot? Tell you to piss off?”
Kai shook his head, swivelling it back around, pouting. “No! God! It’s not—“ he trailed off, tapping a finger against one of his rings. “I don’t mind it, infact I prefer it when you aren’t slinging insults at me. Besides, never said I wanted that!”
“There were,” Damon looked off to the side, allowing a quick smile to creep up his face. “Implications.”
“Gosh, just shut up, dude.”
“Maybe if I started referring to you by ‘moron’ instead of Kai.”
“Damon!”
“Or maybe I should start talking shit to Eva and Diana.”
“Why am I stuck with you?!”
Damon hummed, clearly pleased with how the conversation played out. Kai, on the other hand, seemed to be on the opposite end of the spectrum.
His gaze drifted over to the stack of books laid out on the floor, then back up at Damon. He frowned, tilting his head up towards him. “The teacher is gonna kill us…”
“They’ll find out what happened to us eventually.”
“But today isn’t even, like, that busy of a day! Most teachers aren’t even in today, I bet. Our professor loves to skip class cuz of her stupid husband, or something.” Kai then remembered that his phone was in his pocket, and the fact that an assignment was due tonight…
He hurriedly fished his phone out, quickly tapping to his assignment. Damon leaned over, and suddenly, Kai was hyperaware of the other enveloping him. Shit. What the hell. “You… have data?”
“Uh, yea,” Kai scoffed. Damon’s voice was quite nice to listen to. “What kind of influencer would I be without having data? Don’t tell me you don’t.”
“I don’t even use my phone that often. Never-mind that… don’t you have one of our teacher’s number?”
Kai paused. Hm. That’s… he hadn’t thought of that, actually. “I have a few. Who do I even text?”
Damon narrowed his eyes at him, before shooting out and managing to grab Kai’s phone. “Let me.”
“Oi!”
Kai sat up, leaning over to try and grab it back. Damon kept it out of reach. “Just—let me. You’re horrible at professional stuff like this.”
“I’m not! I write emails all the time, just—“ It hits Kai like a trainwreck when he realises how close he is to Damon. Practically leant over him, and he flustered. Ugh. He hates having a crush.
“What? Gave up?” Damon mockingly asked, looking down at Kai. He just paused, embarrassed, flustered, whatever other mix of emotions he was feeling. “Just—fine! Whatever. Who are you going to text?”
“I know her number.”
“The teacher we’re supposed to,” Kai trailed off, nodding. “Ohh… yeah! Okay, good idea! Just remove her contact after. I don’t like her very much.”
Damon eyed him suspiciously, before deciding not to comment on that. That’s surprising, Kai thought. He reluctantly tore his eyes from whatever Damon was typing, just staring up at the ceiling now.
“Sent,” Damon said, nudging Kai’s phone towards him. “She doesn’t check her phone very often, though. I guess we wait now.”
Kai took it, lazily slipping it back into his pocket. He adjusted his position, so that he was facing the wall, leaning his back against Damon’s side.
Surprisingly, he didn’t turn away.
“I still can’t believe you were pining for me for…” Damon counted on his fingers. “Almost… three years by now.”
“Oh, shut up,” Kai scoffed, shoving Damon away playfully. He rubber his temples, somewhat relieved, somewhat dumbfounded. “I—I can’t believe you didn’t know! I thought I was being so obvious!”
“Who told you that?”
“Diana? Eva? Desmond? Wolfgang? Everybody! Everybody knew!”
Damon blinked. Twice. Thrice, then twirled his wrist. “For three years straight?”
Kai nodded. “Besides, I made plenty of moves. I thought you were making them too, seriously, but I was too scared to tell you.”
The debater doesn’t hear anything after the words ‘making them too’. “What?”
“What what?”
Damon stared at him. Now it was his turn to be dumbfounded. “You thought I was making them too?”
Kai sat up, making him jump. “Yes? Were you not?”
He doesn’t remember making anything that could imply anything. He realised that he was probably thinking for way too long, and Kai was expecting a response, so he broke the quiet between them.
“Okay, you know what? In third year. I was sneaking out and that one time you offered to go with me.”
“That counts as… a move?” Damon seemed taken aback. “Huh.”
“Yes! And I was so flustered and nervous the entire time!”
“…No wonder you seemed so off.”
Third Year
Kai was done for.
He had an assignment due in two hours. No wonder his teacher gave the class a whole week to finish it. He had only started on one page, and there’s, what, five pages? That one page had taken him more than half an hour! He’s done for, he’s gonna fail the class, and he’ll die.
Unless he does it now?
Kai pursed his lips in thought. Damon seemed fast asleep. Maybe, if he was super quiet, he could slip past really easily and make his way down to the library.
He had second thoughts.
The library’s big and super scary at night. Trust him, he would know. Especially if he’s going alone, for Christ’s sake, so maybe he should resort to one of those empty classrooms the band kids use to practice.
While he did hate the fact that it wasn’t soundproof sometimes, it seemed to work in his favour this time. If he ever got killed, he could easily scream, and he wouldn’t die without rotting!
He hopped off his bed, grabbing a bag to hurriedly shove his laptop, keys, and phone in. He felt like he was a kid again, sneaking out his house just to get a quick snack from his convenience store. That was a kind of stupid analogy, though.
“…Uhm.” A voice interrupted his thoughts.
Kai froze.
“D—Damon! Hey! Nice to, uhm, see you here!” He was halfway out the door, fumbling with his shoe laces. A nervous chuckle slipped out as he looked around.
“We’re… roommates.” Damon said, twirling his wrist. Kai always thought that it was cute. “What are you doing?”
Oh gosh. “Going out?”
“At,” Damon pulls his sleeve up, checking his watch. “2 in the morning?”
Kai, ever so wondrously displaying his wisdom, closed his mouth. However, maybe the wisdom was short lived. “Okay, fine. I’m sneaking out to do an assignment, you caught me!”
Damon sighed, before crossing his arms. He was so getting scolded, bur as if Damon doesn’t study late at night too. That’s certainly a good counter for whatever he was going to say.
“Let me come with you.”
What? “What?”
“Let me come before I change my mind.” Damon cautioned, turning his back to, Kai assumed, get his stuff. Well, if he was coming, surely he had something to study or do too.
Damon came out the room, holding a book and pen, taking his sweet time to wear his shoes and adjust his clothing. For some reason, Kai found that insanely attractive.
“Where were you planning to…” Damon gestured to the hallway once they were out the door, and Kai licked his lips. “One of the rooms the band kids use to practice? They have a whole whiteboard, table, chairs and whatnot, so…”
“Why not the library?”
“The library’s scary.”
Damon checked his watch again. “Unsettling, is the word.”
“Whatever, same thing,” Kai pouted, stretching as they made their way to the row of rooms.
Once they reached, Kai hastily made his way to claim a seat and the whiteboard, instantly getting to work. No commentary, no nothing, just pure silence. Damon wondered why he seemed so eager.
Whatever the case, he perched himself down on a seat next to Kai’s, getting to writing down notes from just pure memory. He could check whether or not they were right tomorrow, after he gets a good night’s sleep.
“Hey.” Kai called out after a few long minutes—hour? “Did I wake you up?”
Damon glanced up, and his eyes instantly landed on the whiteboard. Notes, numbers, formulas, and question marks next to most of them. Was Kai always so messy when it came to notetaking?
“No,” he replied, going back to writing. “You didn’t. I woke up cuz I needed to… use the toilet.”
“I didn’t hear the toilet flush though?” Kai popped the marker cap back on, going over to sit down on his seat, and turn his laptop to face him. Damon’s eyebrows furrowed. “Because when I was going to use it, I saw you sneaking out?”
“…Oh.” Right. That can happen too. He wasn’t looking properly at his screen when he typed some random bullshit into his assignment, lazily scanned it, half asleep, and pressed send.
When he properly looked, his face was absolutely mortified.
“Oh my god.”
“Mm?”
“I just,” Kai sounded like he was about to die at any moment, not to mention the fact his head was buried in his hands. “I just submitted an assignment with the worst possible name ever. I’m gonna get a game over. Kill me.”
Damon turned his head, looking over, reading the assignment name out loud for all the school ghosts to hear. “Fucking stupid bullshit underscore,” he paused. “Ass—all caps—ignment, I hate my life, dot pdf.”
Silence.
A snicker. “Wow, Kai. Impressive.”
“Could you please—“ Kai shooed him away with a hand, head still buried in his other hand. “Could you not?!” He gritted out. His professor was going to kill him. He couldn’t even resubmit it! Or edit it!
“Maybe I should just not go to lesson tomorrow.”
“I thought she didn’t really care?” Damon tilted his head, the tip of his pen hovering over the paper. Then, it went back to writing. “Eva was in her class once and sent in a paper called ‘fuck my stupid life’ and she didn’t… seem to care.”
Kai grumbled, lightly banging his head on the table. “Still. That’s not as bad as sending in something called stupid bullshit!”
Damon shrugged. He seemed to be thinking about something, because he clicked his pen, fidgeting, then looked over at the computer screen again. “Just let me see what the paper is about.”
“Huh? Why?” Kai, all so curious, perked up. Okay. Damon’s really close again. Great. His hair was totally not brushing against his face. Nope! Nope. Nooopeee.
“Make an excuse that what you sent just now wasn’t the final version,” Kai squinted. That’s actually not that bad of an idea. “I’ll help you edit it.” Damon hummed.
“That’s kinda intimate,” the influencer murmured underneath his breath, leaning his face against his fist. Hopefully Damon didn’t hear that.
Actually, he swore his face was flushing now. Shit! Why did he say that? He won’t be able to think properly or even listen to whatever Damon’s saying without pondering about how intimate doing work together late at night is!
Stupid Damon. Stupid crush. Stupid everything.
“So,” Kai blinked, threading his fingers through his hair, before grabbing a strand and mindlessly playing with it. “I mean… if you wanna give us a try—“
“Kai.”
Damon’s hand wandered over to Kai’s cheek, attempting to mirror what he had done to him before. His ears flushed instantly, and he shuffled closer towards Damon, their faces just inches away.
Their breath mingled, and Kai pulled Damon closer, kissing him with gentleness yet making sure that kiss had passion.
Damon could feel Kai smile in the kiss, and that just made him kiss him even harder. It was gentle. Soft. Somewhat messy, but it was everything Damon didn’t know he needed.
“Yes.” Damon immediately said when he pulled back. Kai cocked his head. “Yes to?”
“Giving us… a try.” God. He looked so cute when the words tumbled out his mouth, Kai had to keep a mental note of the tone in his voice. Calm yourself, Monteago!
“Yeah?” He snickered, pressing a kiss to the debater’s neck. Then another. Eventually, it became a trail of kisses. Damon coughed, ears burning, voice low. “Yeah.”
Kai hid his face in his shoulder, hands riding up Damon’s jacket, rubbing his sides with his thumbs. “Good. Cuz I’ve been waiting for the day I kiss you and get to do this.”
Damon didn’t respond. His hands lingered awkwardly at Kai’s waist, before wrapping his arms around it. “I would like for us to be boyfriends.”
“I would like that!” Kai agreed, pressing another kiss to Damon’s neck.