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Dan is very close to having a panic attack.
Maybe that is an exaggeration. Tonight is his first date with Phil since he came back and Daniel has no fucking idea what he’s going to wear. Logically, he knows Phil won’t care. That Dan could wear a paper sack and Phil would still want him. But Dan has never been logical concerning Phil and he’s not about to start now.
His heart skips a beat at the thought of Phil. Phil, who is nothing but kind and attentive to Dan and Rowan. Dedicated to their little family. He feels warmth blooming in his chest. They’d agreed to take it slow. It’s not like they dated for long when Phil got snapped, and they have Rowan to think about.
Once upon a time, Phil made him want to throw caution to the wind. Now, he still feels that same urge, but he’s older now. Parenthood has made him wiser. And the best thing for Rowan right now is to keep this new step in their relationship quiet.
He finally decides on a white button up shirt and black leather jacket.
There’s a knock at the door, and Dan rolls his eyes. He’s told Phil a thousand times since he came back that he could just walk in. Still, Dan goes to open the door.
Phil looks absolutely incredible.
“Hi.” Dan says, suddenly shy.
“Hi.” Phil says back, and his smile is blinding. Dan’s heart begins to race. This is it. Their new beginning.
“Are you ready for this?” Dan asks, holding out his hand. Phil smiles, softer this time, and takes Dan’s hand.
“I was born ready.”
Dan laughs and they make their way out of Dan’s apartment building. Phil looks at him.
“Where to?”
“There’s a little Indian place not too far from here.” Dan says. “I like their Tandoori Chicken.” There’s a knot in his stomach and his palms are sweating. He wants this to go well so badly.
“That sounds good.” Phil replies, taking Dan’s hand and squeezing it. Dan relaxes. This is Phil. It’s going to be okay. They make their way to the restaurant, seated at a private booth.
A silence hangs in the air between them. Almost comforting, as if they need no words to communicate.
“How’s work going?” Phil asks, breaking the silence. “You said you’re teaching now, right?”
“Yeah.” Dan says. “Primary school.”
“Not to pry or anything, but what happened to studying law?”
Dan flinches.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I just- “ Phil rushes to say.
“No, it's fine.” Dan interrupts. “Law was just very stressful for me. It took me to a really dark place. After Rowan was born people would tell me I was good with kids, so…” He shrugs. “And I love my job, I really do.”
“What about youtube?”
“I quit when you got snapped.” Dan admits. “It was just too hard to do the thing we really bonded over.”
“Oh.” Phil says, and he almost looks disappointed.
The waitress comes by and takes their orders. Dan smiles reassuringly at Phil. “Yeah, it was a very stressful time for me.” He pauses. “And honestly not as much fun as it was with you.”
Phil smiles bashfully and Dan makes it his life’s mission to see that smile again.
“I want to get back into it.” Phil admits, and Dan’s not surprised. Phil had been doing youtube for years before he met Dan. It makes sense he would want to go back to what was familiar.
“If that’s what you want.” Dan shrugs. “I probably won’t. But I’ll gladly go back to stalking you on twitter.”
Phil snorts. “I think we’re well past the stalking phase.”
Dan rolls his eyes.
“Don’t worry, it was adorable. And slightly sexy.” Dan cringes as soon as the words leave Phil’s mouth. He is somewhat embarrassed by his past stalker-ish activities. But at least it landed him here, right?
“It was not, shut up.” Dan’s blushing now and Phil starts cracking up. What a bastard.
“You liked meeee.” Phil teases and Dan kicks him under the table.
“Yeah well, you replied, so what does that make you?”
“Stupid, apparently.”
“Shut up!” Dan laughs, kicking Phil once again. Phil smiles at him, more tender than he ever has before and Dan’s heart races.
“Make me.”
“Let’s get through dinner and I will.” Dan says suggestively. It’s Phil’s turn to kick Dan under the table.
“What happened to taking it slow?”
“Not THAT slow.”
“Dan, you horndog.” Phil laughs.
“Okay.” Dan says. “Listen. Ever since Carla started dating her new girlfriend, Rowan doesn’t get to have sleepovers at her place very much. So I want to take full advantage of our alone time.”
Phil sighs. “I know but I want to take things slow. I don’t want to ruin what we have.” He pauses. “And I don’t put out on the first date either.”
Dan rolls his eyes but offers Phil a reassuring smile.
They get through their dinner and it feels like no time has passed at all. Phil catches Dan up on what his family has been up to and Dan tells stories about Rowan and Carla and the kids at his school. They laugh together and pretty soon they’re out the door and on their way back to Dan’s place.
They hold hands all the way there, and Dan has to fight the urge to skip like a schoolgirl. His heart is glowing.
“Well, this is me.” Dan says.
“Yeah. I guess it is.”
“Do you kiss on the first date?”
“Only if it goes well.” Phil smiles.
“And did this go well?” Dan asks.
“You tell me.” Phil replies and pulls Dan in for a kiss. Dan grabs at Phil’s shoulders as their mouths move languidly together. It’s electric. Dan feels like every nerve in his body is on fire.
Phil pulls away and Dan whines. “If I don’t stop now, I never will.”
“Yeah, probably a good idea then.” Dan agrees.
“Goodnight, Dan.” Phil presses a kiss to Dan’s cheek.
“Goodnight.” He waves as Phil walks away, feeling as though he’s floating on air.