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Manon wasn’t easily affected by most comments. Don’t get her wrong, she used to be; it took her a whole year to get used to the fact she was a public face now: An idol on its own. So it’s easiest to say that hate comments were a whole other story.
Because back then, she took everything to heart, back then her reality was a full day of rehearsals that seemed to leave her with little to no oxygen, sitting in the back of Megan’s car, head flopped against the cold window, driven home in silence a majority of the time; Yoonchae sometimes called her parents - which Manon would never complain about; she always loved hearing the youngest’s voice light up whenever speaking with her family.
Then she was ushered into a house with five other girls, hurried into the shower because she managed to get the first slot of the upstairs bathroom, which she then regretted, having zero time to collect her thoughts.
And finally, collapsing onto a soft mattress with Daniela’s quiet jazz playing from the other side of the room.
And when that silenced, when the room fell into a darkness and Daniela muttered a tired ‘goodnight’, Manon opened her phone, straight to twitter, and drowned herself in endless comments of her career.
@katseyestan789: i’m still so shocked manon even got into katseye, she did fuck all during dream academy.
@daniela4life: manon doesn’t deserve that spot, slacking off the whole of DA and getting in only because of a pretty face?? bullshit
@urmum21: manon’s lazy. there i said it
Reading them until she felt her throat constrict and her chest cave. Only then did she place her phone to the right of her, turning her face to the wall, and willed herself to sleep through the churning in her stomach.
See, now; that didn’t happen, not very often at least, her twitter page definitely changed in that year, now full of edits and stupid theories about their next songs.
But every so often, maybe when out with Daniela and Megan for coffee; her phone would buzz with the unwelcoming words of a ‘fan’ online.
@vspkasteye990: of course manon is the one who’s sick. i bet she’s drinking her ass off at a party.
Manon always excused herself from the hang out then.
“How are you going to get home?” Daniela would always ask, her red mustang politely waiting for them back at the Starbucks parking lot.
“I’ll get a cab,” Manon quickly replied, not too swift as to grow suspicion. “You guys have fun.”
And stepping away before they even got a chance to argue any further.
Her biggest mistake during those odd days, were to click on that notification, swipe through the replies, and pick out each one that seemed to agree, blatantly ignoring the people who stood up for her - because what good would that do!
This, unfortunately, happened to be one of those days.
It was late, her, Lara and Daniela were out at a pub, Manon wasn’t really sure why, Daniela just dragged her out of their shared house before Manon could even utter a single word.
And they were having fun! So much fun, Lara always had the weirdest fan interactions to tell, currently rehashing one about a girl in a sushi place(?), apparently all she did was a quick Gnarly dance move before returning to her food.
Whatever it was, it had Lara absolutely pissing herself, and her laugh was contagious, so Daniela and Manon couldn’t stop themselves from giggling along with her.
It was only when Manon excused herself for a quick bathroom break did she pull out her phone, it had been buzzing in her pocket for the last five minutes; she thought maybe Megan or Sophia were sending her some stupid thread of memes again, or Yoonchae was asking what ‘french kissing’ was.
Be kind to her, world.
But, unfortunately, her eyes caught onto another damn tweet.
@hound11: manon should leave katseye.
It shouldn’t have bothered her, it wasn’t even original, just that same fucking line that every single member of Katseye received.
But, tonight, it stung.
Without a word, she left the bar, texting Lara haphazardly.
manz: something came up tell daniela not to wait up at home
And she walked; hood up, sunglasses on (even at nine o’clock at night), head down, and staring at the darkened sidewalk as she moved, focusing on her steps.
One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two.
And only pausing in front of a very familiar cracked tile.
She didn’t lift her head, not until she was stepping up onto the porch of a house with golden fairy lights, because of course they had fairy lights out for Christmas.
Lifting her hand to knock on the polished door, pulling the sunglasses off of her face, letting her eyes roam upwards as it opened.
Meeting her favourite pair of honey brown eyes.
“Manon?” That silky voice was enough to soothe her worries, Manon could happily go home now, sleep like a baby for twelve hours straight and forget she ever received a hate comment in the first place.
But, unbeknownst to many, Manon was selfish. She needed to hear it forever more.
“Hi, Soph.”
And Manon wished she had her phone out to snap a quick picture of how the Filipina’s face softened just at that stupid nickname.
“Hey,” Sophia’s voice was like a heated blanket, hugging Manon before she even stepped into the warmth that was Sophia’s place of living. “You okay?” Stepping aside anyway, allowing the Swiss girl into her home…
Knowing damn well her actual home was the girl standing right in front of her, the girl that had knocked on her door at nine o’clock with smudged eyeliner and a tired expression, and the girl now slipping inside without another thought.
“Um,” Manon started, kicking off her shoes with practised ease, shuffling out of her coat - revealing her tight-fitted black crop top (that Sophia was definitely not staring at) that matched her black cargos - and neatly placing it onto the coat rack beside where Yoonchae’s would normally be. “Where’s Yoonchae?”
Looking over her shoulder as Sophia shut the door, shutting away the cold breeze that slowly infected the heat inside.
“One of her friends from Korea has flown over for the weekend,” She starts, her voice measured but soft, she didn’t want to dwell on Yoonchae too long, not when she was worried for the girl now aimlessly walking around the living space. “They’re staying at this fancy, all inclusive hotel for a few days.”
Manon nodded, placing her phone down on the table that comfortably sat in the center of the room, before lowering herself down onto the couch behind it, tucking her legs under herself.
Sophia couldn’t contain the small exhale from leaving her lips, padding over in her pale pink socks and low waisted joggers, and even with a long-sleeved cropped top for her shirt; she looked elegant.
The girl slid down onto the cushions a foot or two away from Manon.
She didn’t pry, Manon knew she wouldn’t, just sat there, looking annoyingly perfect like she always did, her lashes still curled to perfection, even if the mascara that had once coated them was slightly smudged around her eyes. Sophia’s lipgloss, though, was still shimmering effortlessly in the dim lighting that came from the standing lamp in the corner, and her hair fell in flawless curls over her shoulder as she tilted her head to one side.
Manon wouldn’t admit to what she stared at the longest.
Definitely not Sophia’s lips.
“Can I stay the night?” Manon blurted, it wasn’t what she wanted to say, not really, she wanted to address the main reason she was here. In fact, what she wanted was to have that skill that made it easy to just say what was on your mind, but ever the screw up like those comments say she is; she was born without that ability.
Sophia looked stunned for half a second, probably not expecting Manon to start with what she did, but her glossed lips quickly curved into that gentle smile.
“Have I ever said ‘no’?”
And Manon took that small moment to actually think, has Sophia ever said ‘no’?
Maybe once, probably when Manon was drunk out of her mind and the taller of the two would rather die then have to clean Manon’s sick out of her carpet.
So no, Sophia has never said ‘no’.
Manon ducked her head down to her lap, sighing out through her nose, a noise that would be drowned out if the room was anything but the static quiet it was now.
“Manon, what’s wrong?” Sophia ends up asking, knowing the Ghanian wouldn’t say anything until prompted, or until she had a bit of alcohol in her; which again, Sophia is not going down that route.
“It’s stupid- It’s…” Grumbling in annoyance at her inability to speak like a normal human being and have coherent-
A soft hand is snaking its way under Manon’s chin, gently lifting it until boba-like eyes are finally meeting Sophia’s chocolate ones.
“‘It’s..?’” The thumb gently running down the side of Manon’s jaw was definitely not helping the latter’s train of thought.
“Hate.. Again,” Huffing quietly once she had gotten that out… And here comes the rest of it:.
“I know it’s so useless getting upset over this stuff, and I know you tell me that every time, but it’s just- Why? Y’know? Why take time out of your day to- fucking- hate on other people because you’re sad about how your life is going. Like I’m sorry I’m in a fucking famous girl group and you’re not but-“
And Manon couldn’t even finish, before soft, but sticky lips were being pressed against her mouth, and a floral-like scent was invading her nostrils even more so than before.
Her eyes slipped shut after that initial shock, her hand lifting to thread its way through those black curls belonging to Sophia, cradling the back of her head, not pushing or pulling; just holding, as Sophia’s mouth began moving timidly against Manon’s.
Which Manon fleetingly thought was silly, they had done this so many times before, and yet each time, Sophia was always so shaky for the first few moments, causing Manon’s smile to reappear.
And every single time, they both discovered that kissing and smiling was a difficult combo, pulling apart with silly grins on both their faces.
“You’re stupid.” Sophia would always say, just like today, her voice soft and welcoming.
“I’m your stupid.” Manon would coo back, never once missing a beat, her lips now coated in Sophia’s lipgloss too.
After that, Manon always found it easier to speak, easier to free her mind of the invasive thoughts that clouded her brain.
But then again, everything was easier tucked into Sophia’s side, Manon’s head resting easily on the Filipina’s shoulder as they half-watched a TV show that played on the screen.
“I really wished you stopped listening to them,” Sophia whispered after an hour or two of lazy conversation and snuggles. “You know they’re idiots.” Pressing her lips against Manon’s temple for the sixth time in the past five minutes - not that Manon was counting.
Manon leant into the touch, snuggling up impossibly closer to the woman she loved so dearly.
“I know,” Manon replied, her voice nothing louder than a soft whisper, a reluctant agreeing. Because Sophia was always right.
“It’s difficult.” She finishes with an exhale.
“But,” Then starting again, proud of herself for the cheesy line she had just thought of. “I suppose everything’s a little easier with you.”
Looking up at the Filipina through thick lashes, catching the soft flush that spread across Sophia’s cheeks, how she looked away far too quickly to be considered casual.
“Mhm.” Is all Sophia could utter out, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from squealing, or squirming, or… Well, literally anything that wasn’t nonchalant.
Manon burst out into laughter roughly two seconds later, littering the underside of Sophia’s jaw with warm kisses.
Sophia ducked her head, shying away from the onslaught of unwanted (very much wanted) attention, grumbling quietly as she did so.
And once Manon had quieted down, pulling her head back enough for Sophia’s to lift and turn towards her, the Filipina leant over to press one more kiss to Manon’s waiting lips.
“I love you.”
And Manon swears each time she hears those three words her whole insides die, revive, and then combust once again.
“I love you too, Soph.” Manon managed to reply, albeit, a lot less confident than she was mere seconds ago, which of course; caused Sophia’s triumphant grin to return.
And the ache that Manon had sitting in her chest was welcome this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t full of dread or guilt.
It hurt, sure, but only because she was truly realising how much love and affection she had for Sophia, and how she knew Sophia felt the same for her.