Actions

Work Header

breathe out (so i can breathe you in)

Summary:

"In the distance, a loud whine- the telltale sound of a Demogorgon- rings through the air. In an instant, Will is transported back. He’s twelve once more, shotgun at the ready, heart beating wildly out of his chest as a predator seeks for its prey."

Or, the final battle in which Will Byers must face the Upside Down for the first time since he was twelve. Only now, he has someone there to support him.

Notes:

im so bylerpilled right now it's insane

i feel delusional but also like i dont understand how it could be anything else

anyway i feel like will has to end up back in the ud, and that wouldn't be a fun experience for him.

enjoy <33

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Will has nightmares about it. 

 

Even four years removed from his original kidnapping, the Upside Down plagues his dreams and infects his thoughts. He’d spent some time with a shrink for a few months after he returned, but once the Mind Flayer began possessing him, those visits dwindled. 

 

Not that his therapist ever truly helped him. Will couldn’t be totally honest with his counselor, partially because their little group was forced to keep quiet about his disappearance, but also because Will isn’t sure a therapist could help him with his particular brand of trauma. 

 

Back when they were living in their old home in Hawkins, and even in Lenora, Will’s mom and Jonathan would usually have to shake him awake to stop him from screaming bloody murder. One night in California, Will was wailing so loud, El slammed open the door with such force that the door broke off its hinges. She had to dig into his mind and drag him out of his own personal hell, gathering him into her arms as she tearfully apologized to him. 

 

Those are the bad nights, where his nightmares consist of the Demogorgon's chasing him, nipping at his ankles and clawing at his jacket. When he hid behind trees or small dwellings only to be ripped away from his hiding spot and look death in the face once more. The feeling of something being forced down his throat, restricting his breathing as a clawed hand caressed his cheek, wiping away the tears that slipped from his eyes. 

 

Usually though, Will finds himself in Castle Byers, holding his shotgun with a white knuckled grip, flinching at every rustle or whine from outside. Humming to convince himself that there was still hope, that being saved wasn’t a far away dream. 

 

He doesn’t talk about it, what it was like for him in the Upside Down. Nobody ever really asked. Then he was possessed and the cycle started over again. Maybe it’s childish of him, but over the past few years, it’s felt like he’s been pushed to the side. In the summer of ‘85, when all Will wanted to do was get back his childhood and none of his friends would give him the time of day. In California, where he was isolated and ignored by the one person he thought he’d have forever. 

 

Will was wary of coming back to Hawkins, and even more hesitant to move in with the Wheelers. Karen had always been kind, but Ted never seemed to care for him. Will was worried about living with his longtime crush, but even more concerned about his nightmares causing problems. 

 

And he was right. Approximately three days after moving in, he had a nightmare. Will shot out of his mattress with a scream dying on his lips, flinching back from a concerned Jonathan and a sleep mussed Mike. The rest of the Wheeler family followed and Will flushed red with embarrassment as Ted rolled his eyes, flapping his hand and trudging back up the stairs. 

 

He stopped sleeping so much after that. Only when he was completely exhausted did he let himself rest, and by that point, his brain was so tired, he had no dreams. He ignored the pointed looks from Mike and his family as his eyebags grew heavier with each passing day. 

 

It came to a head one night about two months after returning to Hawkins. Will was sitting outside on the porch, letting the soft breeze rustle his hair. It was nearing midnight, and though he was tired, Will didn’t dare head to the basement. He didn’t turn when footsteps sounded behind him, nor when a body placed itself next to him. 

 

“Needed some air?” Mike had asked, facing the street just as Will was. He nodded vacantly, too exhausted to reply. 

 

Mike sighed, turning to look at Will. He felt Mike's eyes rove over his face, cataloguing his dark circles, his white pallor, his tangled hair.

 

“You need to sleep, Will.” Mike said, shifting closer. 

 

Will shook his head, his overgrown hair falling over his eyes, “‘m gonna wake everyone up,” he mumbled.

 

“So?” Mike asked, “you’re totally exhausted, you look like a ghost.” 

 

Will snorted softly, “El said the same thing.”

 

Mike tensed slightly at Eleven’s name. They’d only broken up a few weeks prior, and though it was on mutual terms, it was still a bit awkward between them. 

 

“El sees all,” Mike said eventually, “Seriously, Will, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

 

Will finally turned to face Mike, whose eyebrows dipped in concern, “How am I supposed to fix it?” he asked. 

 

Mike bit his lip in thought and Will steadfastly ignored it, instead choosing to watch the breeze ruffle Mike’s dark hair. 

 

“You could sleep in my room.” Mike suggested. Will felt his heart skip a beat as his eyes jumped back down in shock. He wasn’t sure which would be worse: Sleeping in the same room as the boy he’s in love with, or having a nightmare in the same room as the boy he’s in love with. 

 

“But, your- your mom said-” Will stammered. 

 

“Maybe not every night,” Mike cut him off, “but enough that you get some decent sleep. It’s warmer upstairs, maybe that’ll help.” 

 

Will thought it over. He was truly at his limit of exhaustion, any more and he’d keel over. He desperately wanted to help with the crawls and he couldn’t do that if he wasn’t in top form. 

 

He sighed, “Okay, okay, just- we’ll see if it helps.” 

 

Mike beamed, grabbing Will’s hand and pulling him up. Will could’ve sworn he let their fingers linger for a few seconds before he let go, but the moment was over before he could get a read on anything.

 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that sleeping in Mike’s room did, in fact, lessen the nightmares. Will slept through the rest of the night and well into the afternoon, waking up to find Mike reading a comic book out loud softly. 

 

True to his word, Will didn’t sleep upstairs every night, and nightmares still plagued him, but he had a safe space to go to if he needed it, and that was enough.

 

That was also over a year ago, and things have changed dramatically. 

 

Will has powers. Will took down three Demogorgon's miles apart from each other. He felt so useless before, with his True Sight-Spidey Sense-goosies, like all he could do was be the worst prophet this side of Indiana has ever seen, predicting when Vecna was close when everyone already knew that. 

 

But now, having accepted every part of himself and unlocking a way to turn Vecna’s powers against him in the process, Will feels changed. More… settled into his body, like things have finally clicked into place. 

 

Losing the kids was devastating. They’d never truly lost like this before. When everyone finally regrouped at the WSQK, there was only a mournful silence. El sat despondently next to Kali- who had been shortly introduced as another victim of the lab’s experiments- and Hopper. Lucas’s chest was being wrapped by Steve, whose eyes kept darting between a slumped over Dustin and Nancy and Jonathan, who were huddled together on the couch. 

 

Both Lucas and Robin had engulfed Will in a bear hug when they learned what happened to the Demogorgon's. El didn’t look shocked at all to hear that Will had spontaneously developed powers. 

 

Joyce was puttering about the room worriedly, checking on everyone one at a time. Will and Mike sat thigh to thigh, staring off into space. There’s a certain solidarity that comes with defeat. The crushing feeling of loss aches, but it’s easier when shared. 

 

Eventually, Hopper stands. He looks haggard, older than his years. He sighs, running a hand down his face, “We need to figure out what to do next.” He says. 

 

There’s a long beat where nobody says anything. How do they come back from this? How do they retrieve twelve children and kill what appears to be an unbeatable opponent? Hopelessness envelopes the room, pressing on Will's chest as he leans back into the couch. Based on the expressions of those around him, they’re thinking on the same lines. 

 

Suddenly, Will feels a small brush against his pinky. He looks down to find that Mike’s hand is directly next to his, their fingers nearly overlapping. Glancing up, he sees Mike looking at the ground, eyebrows furrowed like when he’s deep in thought. This contact is unconscious, instinctual. 

 

Carefully, with more bravery than Will thinks he’s ever had before, he lifts his pinky and curls it around Mike’s. The boy doesn’t even flinch, just reciprocates the gesture, locking their pinkies together. 

 

Will feels like his heart could beat right out of his chest as he glances once more at Mike, whose cheeks are dusted pink. Will turns his attention back to the group in an attempt to distract himself, ignoring Robin’s tiny smirk. 

 

“We have three people with powers now,” Dustin says, eyes tired but determined, “We can do this.” 

 

Many heads swing towards Will, who fidgets under the attention. It was a surprise to everyone who wasn’t already super powered, that Will was capable of something like this. 

 

“How do we do it?” Lucas asks, “Will just got his powers, we have no idea how it works. And she-” he points to Kali, “is a complete wildcard.”

 

“She’s my sister,” El says firmly, “I trust her.” 

 

Steve stands, “That’s great and all, but we need a plan to use you three to get rid of Vecna, and somehow get the kids out from wherever they are, which by the way, we have no idea.” 

 

“I can probably find them.” Will murmurs. 

 

Eyes swing towards Will once more, and he winces. Mike tightens his pinky ever so slightly.

 

“I’m connected to the hive mind, that’s how I got these powers at all,” Will explains, “In one of my visions, I saw Holly and a couple other kids on these spires.”

 

He looks towards Robin, Mike, Lucas, his mom, and Erica, who all saw the drawing. Robin nods encouragingly. 

 

Will takes a deep breath, “When I was… taken,” he starts, and the air is sucked out of the room. Will never talks about it, not to anybody. But now he has to. All eyes are on him. 

 

“When I was taken, I survived the first six days by hiding in Castle Byers, only leaving when I absolutely needed to. But on the last day, a Demogorgon found me and chased me up a tree. I fell off it and it knocked me unconscious.” Will explains.

 

He takes a shaky breath, prompting Jonathan to walk over and place a comforting hand on his back. Everybody is silent, waiting patiently for him to keep going.

 

“I didn’t remember until I had that vision. The kids, they had something attached to their mouths and they were all passed out,” Will says, “When I got knocked out, the Demogorgon dragged me to Vecna’s lair. I was only partly conscious which is why I think I’ve forgotten it.”

 

“Vecna wrapped me in his roots and attached the same thing to my mouth and he-” Will almost gags, garnering several worried looks and many people jumping out of their seats. Mike wraps his hand around his bicep, thumbing at the fabric of his shirt. 

 

“Something was being pumped into my throat.” Will gasps out.

 

Somebody mutters an ‘oh shit’, while others' faces twist in disgust or horror. Joyce has her hands clasped over her mouth, tears beading in her eyes.

 

“It hurt,” Will says, “I remember crying, but not being awake enough to stop it from happening.” 

 

“Oh God…” Nancy whispers, because that same thing is currently happening to Holly. Mike must realize it too because all the color drains from his face, his grip on Will going slack. 

 

“I’m connected to Vecna, to the hive mind, to the Upside Down,” Will says firmly, “I can find the kids.” 

 

Hopper looks down at Will, his face an amalgamation of grief and nausea. El sidles up next to him, her lips pursed as she nods in Will’s direction.

 

“Baby, it’s too dangerous for you-” Joyce starts.

 

Will stands, his pinky ripped away from Mike’s, “Everything is dangerous for me, mom! He’s inside my mind, he’s invaded my body, I know what it’s like to not be in control of myself.” 

 

Joyce’s hands clasp at her chest, her eyes searching Will’s imploringly.

 

“But I can do something about it now,” Will says, “I know the Upside Down better than anyone else, I know Him better than anyone else. I have the powers now to defend myself that I didn’t have before, that those kids don’t have.” 

 

He looks his mother straight in the face. “I won’t sit here and be useless for another second, not when I can make sure that piece of shit never sees the light of day again.” 

 

Silence fills the room. Robin’s eyes gleam with satisfaction, her lips pulling in a grin. Mike stares up at Will, mouth agape and eyes wide. Will feels his face reddening at the realization of what he just did, his eyes beginning to dart all over the room.

 

“Well,” Lucas says, breaking the tension, “The man of the hour has spoken, let’s start planning.” 

 

There’s a beat where nobody moves before there’s a flurry of motion, maps being hung up and projectors being turned on. Will feels stuck to the floor as he watches his friends move about what has become a makeshift war room. His impromptu speech seems to have done its job, as everyone seems in higher spirits than before. 

 

A soft hand grips his shoulder and Will turns to find Mike looking down at him, eyes bright. “I knew you had it in you, Byers,” he says teasingly.

 

Will huffs out a small, disbelieving laugh, “I just- got fed up, I guess.”

 

“You’ve never liked being babied, but I think you’ve made your point now.” Mike murmurs.

 

Will nods, turning to face Mike, “And you’re okay with it? Me not being wrapped in bubble wrap anymore?”

 

Mike smiles softly at him, “That’s never been up to me. I know your mom can be helicoptery, but I always knew you would take charge eventually.”

 

Will chuckles, “You seem to know everything about me before I do.”

 

Mike winks at him, pointing to his temple, “It’s my Will instincts.” 

 

He watches as Mike walks towards the projector where Nancy is drawing a route through the Upside Down. His shoulder tingles from Mike’s hand, his cheeks hot from the way Mike smiled at him. Even in the midst of the end of the world, Will can’t help his feelings. 

 

He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts of Mike and Mike’s smile, walking towards El and Kali who have their heads bent in soft conversation.

 

After three days full of mostly power naps, multiple arguments, a few broken light fixtures, and several nervous breakdowns, they’re ready to go. 

 

The plan is this: El and Kali will head into the Upside Down via the MAC-Z site alongside Hopper, Nancy, Jonathan, and Lucas, entering opposite of the second team to meet them when Will gives the go ahead. Topside, Robin, Erica, Joyce, and Murray will track them in the van, eventually waiting by the entrance to the MAC-Z by the WSQK to receive the kids. Will, Mike, Steve, and Dustin will enter the Upside Down from one of the cracks by the church, where they’ll use Will as a tracker to find Vecna, and hopefully the kids. 

 

It’s a shaky plan, but it has the least amount of holes possible. 

 

The problem? Will has to go back to the Upside Down for the first time since he was twelve. He’d known, since the Upside Down had infiltrated their world, that it would be inevitable, but now that it’s actually going to happen, he feels a bit sick. 

 

They have about half an hour before their plan goes into action and Will can feel anxiety creeping up his chest, tightening his lungs. His knee bounces from where he sits on the couch, trying to keep his breaths even and slow. 

 

He’s seen glimpses of the Upside Down in his visions, but nothing truly concrete. Many of his friends have also been down there, experienced the horrors that it has to offer, but never once were they alone. If Will’s totally honest, he’s terrified. He’ll be going back to the place where this whole nightmare started, where all of his trauma lives. 

 

It’s a terrible idea, really, but there’s really no other way. He’s their only shot of finding the bastard and getting the kids back. 

 

A knock at the door startles him. Mike stands there, decked out in camouflage, a strained smile on his face. “We’re about to head to the church.” He says solemnly. 

 

Will nods, standing on shaky legs and following Mike out of the door. The goodbyes are teary and hugs are tight. Joyce holds Will’s face in her hands, promising to see him on the other side. Jonathan presses a kiss to his forehead, running his hand through Will’s unruly hair. Steve and Robin embrace, tucking their faces into each other’s shoulders. Lucas stuffs Erica’s pockets with mini flash bombs, and Will ignores the wetness in both of their eyes. 

 

The drive to the church is silent and tense. Will’s leg bounces incessantly. Mike bites at his fingernails as Dustin taps rhythms into his thigh. Steve clenches the wheel, squeezing periodically. Will looks out the window at what might be his last view of the Right side Up. They pass shops, Hawkin’s middle school, the burnt down mall, everything that has made up Will’s childhood. 

 

There’s usually some kind of military personnel around the church during the day, which is why they decided to do this at one in the morning. When they exit the car, a distinct sense of foreboding fills Will’s body. The orange portal seeps between the metal panels, illuminating their faces. Steve gives them all one last once over before taking his crowbar to the panel, shoving it under and lifting. 

 

It takes a few goes, but eventually the panel pops off, leaving behind a large crack in the Earth. The spidery webbing that separates them from the Upside Down shifts and pops ominously. Will turns to Mike, who swallows nervously. It’s then that Will is reminded that this is Mike's first time in the Upside Down.

 

Before he can move to comfort the other boy, Steve speaks up, “Ready?” 

 

Dustin takes a deep breath. “As we’ll ever be,” he says, pulling out his walkie and pulling up the antenna, “Team two entering the Upside Down now, over.”

 

There’s a crackle of noise before Lucas’s voice comes through, “Team one ready when you are, stay safe, over and out.”

 

There’s a moment where they all look at each other before Steve walks towards the portal. “I’ll be right by the entry point when you all come through.”

 

And then he sits down and slips through the webbing. Within seconds, the man is engulfed, disappearing from view. Dustin looks up at them, nodding like he’s trying to reassure himself that everything will be okay. He too, enters the portal and enters the Upside Down. 

 

Will looks at Mike, who has grown much paler. He reaches out, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “You okay to do this?” Will asks.

 

Mike swallows, nodding faintly, “Yeah, yeah… you?”

 

Will sets his shoulders, “We can’t fight him up here.”

 

Mike nods more firmly, squeezing Will’s hand three times before walking towards the portal. He looks back at Will, who tries to smile encouragingly, but it probably comes out as a grimace. In less than a second, Mike makes his decision, and falls through the portal. 

 

Will is left alone, standing in an empty church in the dead of night, the glow of the portal the only light provided. He looks around, staring up at the moon and the stars, hoping against all hope that he’ll see them again. 

 

He crouches down by the portal, and without much more thought, slides through the webbing. In an instant, he’s free falling, and it almost feels never ending. The webbing is cold and slimy, almost alive as it restricts his breathing. But just as soon as it starts, it ends and he’s hitting the ground. 

 

“Will!” Mike shouts, rushing to his side. 

 

Will opens his eyes, registering Mike’s worried face, followed closely by Dustin and Steve, and then just behind them, a dark expanse of blue. 

 

He’s officially back in the Upside Down. 

 

“Will, are you okay?” Dustin asks. 

 

Steve puts a hand on his back, “Baby Byers?” 

 

Will snaps out of it, head turning towards his friends, allowing them to pull him to a stand. “Yeah, yeah,” he reassures, “Just- rough fall.” 

 

Steve nods, eyes looking over Will for any injuries before turning in the direction of the church, Dustin following closely behind, speaking quietly into the walkie. Mike keeps a supportive hand on his back, leading him away from the portal. 

 

As they walk, Will finds it harder and harder to keep it together. Every time the blood red thunder strikes, he flinches. Everywhere he looks is a reminder of what he went through the last time he was here. It smells of rotting wood and blood, spores floating all around them.

 

“This is creepy as hell.” Mike breathes.

 

Will doesn’t have it in him to reply, focused solely on keeping his heart rate down. Branches rustle and sway in the trees, making him instinctively want to find a place to hide. 

 

Mike continues, “You survived an entire week down here? Alone?

 

Will hums distractedly, swallowing a few times to keep the building nausea down. Every second he spends down here makes him want to run and hide. In the distance, a loud whine- the telltale sound of a Demogorgon- rings through the air. In an instant, Will is transported back. He’s twelve once more, shotgun at the ready, heart beating wildly out of his chest as a predator seeks for its prey. 

 

His heart rate skyrockets, and all control he had over his breathing dissipates. He can hear Mike talking to him, but it sounds like he’s underwater. Will’s legs turn to jelly and he stumbles, his back smacking into a tree. He’s reminded of using trees just like this one to evade the monsters hunting him. 

 

Hands grip at his shoulder and Will flinches back hard, his shoulder digging into the bark and scratching the exposed skin at his neck. Immediately the pressure is removed, but Will can’t think or breathe or stop shaking. 

 

Voices overlap one another, frantic and worried. Will feels his legs give out completely, dropping him unceremoniously to the hard dirt. His breaths come in harsh pants, cold sweat dripping down his face, his fingernails digging painfully into the meat of his palm. 

 

“-breathe, Will, you’re going to pass out!” Mike says. 

 

Will tries to respond, but finds that his throat has closed up in panic. There’s only fear, panic, run, hide, quiet, terror, fight, hide, run, run, run racing through his mind, but he’s stuck to the floor, his body choosing to freeze. 

 

“-touch you? Will? Can I touch you?” Mike’s voice breaks through the buzzing in his ears. Blearily, he nods, swallowing to keep the bile back. 

 

Soft hands, larger than his own, bring his hands up to a familiar chest. Will’s hands are splayed out over Mike’s chest as Mike breathes exaggeratedly. He can feel a familiar ba-bump ba-bump of Mike’s quick but calm heart. 

 

Will focuses on it, the way his hands rise and fall in time with Mike’s breaths, the way he can feel each heart beat. The rushing of blood in his ears finally begins to fade and Mike’s voice comes through more clearly.

 

“-that’s it, that’s it, slow, deep breaths, copy me.” Mike soothes. 

 

Will plays along, though it feels silly, and breathes in time with Mike. Those large hands leave his own, much to Will’s disappointment and slight panic, but are quickly placed on Will’s cheeks, sending bolts of warmth through his body. 

 

Then, a forehead is pressed against his own. Will’s eyes snap open in shock, not even having realized they had closed in the first place. He sees Mike staring at him worriedly before his eyes dart to their surroundings, his breath picking back up at the sight of the red lightning. 

 

“No, no, hey, look at me, eyes on me, Will.” Mike coaches, hands forcing Will’s eyes back up to him. Will can feel Mike’s breath on his face, his brown eyes boring into his own. The longer he stares into those eyes, the longer he spends breathing in time with Mike, the calmer he feels. 

 

Mike's thumb rubs soothingly over Will’s cheek in repetitive motions, giving Will another sensation to focus on other than the Upside Down. 

 

“Any better?” Mike whispers.

 

Will takes a few deep breaths, “Yeah, yeah, sorry I don’t know-”

 

“Stop,” Mike cuts him off, one hand moving to grip the back of Will’s neck, his most vulnerable spot, “You don’t need to apologize. I should’ve known bringing you back here would raise some bad memories.”

 

Will licks his lips, hands still gripping Mike’s vest, “I can handle it, I swear. I just- it was just a little jarring.”

 

“I believe you, we won’t go back unless you say so, okay?” Mike reassures, scratching at the baby hairs on the back of Will’s neck. 

 

They spend a moment breathing, just looking at each other, before Will gives him a nod. Mike helps him up, wiping the dirt off their jeans. Will readjusts his backpack, feeling for the handgun he placed just in case anything went wrong. 

 

Suddenly, he’s engulfed by Mike. His nose is tucked into the junction of Mike’s neck, exposing just how much taller Mike is compared to him. One of Mike’s hands rests on the back of his head, pressing him further into his chest. The other wraps around his shoulders, holding him tight, squeezing just enough for it to feel grounding, not suffocating. 

 

Will returns the hug without thought, wrapping his arms around Mike’s waist, burying his nose in his skin and breathing in deeply. It should be disgusting, given how little opportunities they’ve had to shower in the past week, but it just smells like home, like comfort. 

 

Mike’s chin hooks over Will’s head, dipping his face slightly to press a barely there kiss to Will’s hair. Will feels such an overwhelming amount of appreciation and love for him it’s maddening. Even after the past few years where they’re relationship has been a bit rocky, Mike knows him intrinsically, deeply in a way nobody else does.

 

“Mike?” Will whispers in his ear, cheek pressed into Mike’s neck, but Mike just shakes his head.

 

“I know,” Mike says softly, “You don’t need to say it, I know.”

 

Will pulls back, hands lingering on Mike’s forearms. He gives Mike a little smile, thankful and bashful, to which Mike returns tenfold. 

 

“Hey!” A shout from Dustin comes from behind them, “Is everything okay?” 

 

Mike looks at Will, who gives him a nod. Turning his head, Mike yells, “Fine! We’re on our way!”

 

They ignore the small ‘Hurry up!’ that also comes from Dustin, although Mike can’t help himself from rolling his eyes. 

 

“You ready?” Mike asks.

 

Will thinks about the kids trapped with Vecna, forced to go through the same thing he did. He thinks about how unfair it is that he had his childhood ripped away from him for no reason other than being ‘different’. He thinks about all the friends and family they’ve lost to this megalomaniac. He won’t stand for it a second longer. He thinks about how this trauma will follow them for the rest of their lives if they don’t end this here and now. 

 

“Let’s kill this son of a bitch.” Will says.

 

Mike grins sharply, resting his nail bat on his shoulder, grasping Will’s hand with his and pulling him further into the Upside Down, following in Dustin and Steve’s footsteps. 

 

They’re going to go through hell, but at least they’ll do it together. 

 

Notes:

i hope you liked this!!! leave kudos and comments they make my day !!

i dont hate mileven, i love el to death actually she deserves a happy ending and ill be so mad if she dies, i just feel like there's already so much media that surrounds queer characters being rejected or dying or their love interest dying and i really want to see a show (that's not even centered around relationships) do the opposite. also will has suffered so much pls just give him this one thing hes in love w that man

anyway im having byler anxiety so ill be sitting in my room staring at the ceiling for the next 10 days

will byers you will always be famous