Chapter Text
A white room with some mold in the roof corner,a comfortable bed that was always warm and one single window in his left side was always the view that he memorized by heart at this point...no,but from the day he was born,he remembered how many times the machines next to him would beep or pip,he remembered how many pills he had to take everyday yet didn't bother to remember their names,not like he wasn't able to he merely because he believed that some things are better left unrecalled,he knew this was a lazy excuse of him being afraid that once he recollect the last piece of this boring puzzle there would be nothing else to do...he would like a toy that only eat and sleep and take medicine from time to time,a perfect playhouse doll...
Felix ran a finger through his ginger hair inp frustration before grabbing on the bed sheet to support his body
"Such useless thoughts..."He groaned waiting for his eyes to adjust and clear the black spots he could see in the corners of his whites,after a minute or two the ginger looked around the room just hoping for a slight change,even if was a small mold on the wall he would accept it but of course The winds blow contrary to the ships' wishes
"Of course!,what did I think would happen?!"he almost mumbled if it wasn't for his sore through,he hated this,he hated everything about it!the walls,the flour,the bed,the small table next to him with one single"rest well"card that been laying there since forever,but the worst of it all,ha hated that clock on the wall shaped like a purple rabbit with a yellow sclera and square black pupils, don't get him wrong,he didn't hate rabbits or the color purple or even his eyes that reminded him of someone with a liver fibrosis,He hated him smile! That dumb dumb smile he always kept showing his full whites!
Sure there was a time where he absolutely adored that smile and would even wait when it was 12am just to see the little creature swerve his eyes left and right or if he was lucky enough he could even heat say som voice lines which weren't very clear since it was old which caused them to be either absent or glitched,that was before he went into an episode when he was extremely ill,he would wake up,cough up blood and fell like the he would rather die than have that little piece of shit all greany almost as if it adored his pain!
Felix shook his head violently before meeting an insufferable pain like a hammer slam into his brain yet he tried ignore it like he always did,he used the corner table next to his bed as a support for him trying to get up,after what seemed like forever of him wasting the lasts of him energy he pushed himself off the bed grabbing his IV pole that was connected to his veins before walking slowly to the window on his side breathing heavily as if he walked a million miles
The guy rested his head on the window acknowledging the streets where kids played happily passing a ball to each other and even fighting when the other didn't catch it, Felix closed his eyes not sure if he was trying to forget or remember a certain memory of when he was still young,when he was actually capable of walking a few miles without fainting or spitting blood
A hint of the little him flashed into his memory where he was looking through the window at the other children biting into his lower lip with a frown and a slight teary eyes
"Why can't I play with them?!"the boy pouted to the women behind who was sitting next to his bed peeling an apple with a swift movement,the lady put down the half peeled apple on the table before walking to him with her hands on the front,she kneeled next to her little boy meeting his eye level then put back a few strands of her black hair behind her ear that didn't join her messy bun
"Oh my little rabbit"she said wiping under his tears where his freckles layed almost identical to hers,oh how she felt her heart ache for her little one, watching him slowly losing his health without being able to do anything about it,if she can she would've traded the world a long time ago just to see him bloom again and keep that innocent smile on his face with no worries or pressure,but she couldn't...she was just a human after all unable to do so...
She but hard into her lips trying to stop her tears from forming before continuing
"You will be able to...after just a tiny while,you will run and play with them"she poked his tiny nose with a faint smile trying to reassure him
"Just wait for a little more..-"before she could continue she was cut off by the little boy shaking his head and taking a step back leaving a hint of emptiness into his mother's warm hand
"You said that last time and I'm still here! I'm sick of it!"tears started steaming down Felix's face wiping into his eyes harshly with no luck to stop them
"You promised..."he sniffled with a shaky voice not looking his mother in the eye,he didn't hate it here..no yet,but that didn't mean that he adored this place,the kids playing down the streets and the memories of his house that faded slowly into nothing also didn't help with his unsettling feelings
His mother as the sweet mother she always was cupped his gently face to meet hers ,she had a hurt smile that she tried so hard not to break though it was clear as day how hard she did,she took a deep shaky breath as her tender lawn eyes gazing kindly into his ash brown ones before she spoke a words he would never forget
"I-
KNOCK KNOCK
"What the-"he tried to shout but his yells were quickly muffled with bloody cough that weakened him even more,oh how he was seething with anger right now but what can he do?go and beat up whoever was the person knocking at the door?yeah right like he could even walk two steps blacking out...
After coughing and coughing with no words the nurse finally entered the room,a short Blondie girl with a face that he didn't even bother to remember or look at,she grabbed his side passing him a napkin that he snatched quickly as she patted on his back,she was calling out to him while shaking his body violently trying to get a word or two out of him
"Let go of me before I smash your stupid face!!"he wanted to yell and scream so bad at her,he wanted to punch and threw but instead he was grabbing into the window sill with his dear life trying not to drop,the last thing he remembers before blacking out was her annoying voice shouting some familiar medicine names that he refused to acknowledge and the doctor name that came rushing into the door with a few nurses following behind as they always did, Felix truly was unbearable...at times like this he actually wished to die than realive this pain every single day...yet he couldn't help but reach his shaking arm to the doctor and of course as the unlucky bastard he was,he blacked out faintly hearing some covered voices calling into his name,he opened his eyes for a second his gaze meeting the cheering bunny on the wall that mocked him through his teeth
"Laugh...all you want..."he mumered under his breath before his body finally gave up on him...