Work Text:
The night air was a relief on Kate’s skin. She breathed it in, feeling it fill her lungs, and watched it billow out from her mouth. It was cold and fresh and cleansing like rubbing alcohol. She loved dark winter nights like this, when the whole world was still and silent, where she could do nothing else but cuddle up on the couch with Yelena. Speaking of, it was probably time for her to get back.
She pushed the door open and stepped in from the porch. The house was warm and bright, smelling of earthy candles and buttery pasta. It wasn’t too big or too small, just the right size for their little family, two women and two dogs and, before too long, a baby. It was a real home, far more cozy than the cavernous penthouse which she had grown up in. It was the best home she could have asked for and it was only going to get better.
They (mainly Kate) had started putting up the holiday decorations, having decided that they would balance both Christmas and Hanukkah, and they flowed together better than she had expected. She poked at the little piece of mistletoe hanging over the doorway as she walked into the kitchen.
Maria was standing at the sink, tossing the pasta in the strainer. A half-drunk beer was sitting on the counter and she took a swig as she looked back at Kate.
“I was about to send a search party.”
“Sorry, I think I lost track of time.”
“Yeah?”
Kate leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. She watched the steam twist as it rose off the pasta.
Maria looked her up and down. “Nervous?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good.” She set her beer down and stirred the sauce on the stove. “When we were getting ready to adopt for the first time, I would sit out on the porch for hours, just thinking about everything that could go wrong, that I could do wrong. I get that it's weird for you especially, dealing with the pregnancy and the birth, not to mention the fact that you’re barely out of college and Yelena is a good few years older than you. All I can say is don’t let it consume you.”
Kate nodded, still tense.
“I think I’m just about done here. Did you set the table?”
“Yeah, right before I went out.”
“Why don’t you go call them to the table?”
“Will do.”
She stepped away and walked over to the living room. It was dimly lit, a fire flickering in the hearth and casting dancing shadows on the walls. The small tree, not yet decorated, stood in the corner and an electric menorah sat on the windowsill looking out on the street. The two sisters sat on the couch, Yelena’s head on Natasha’s shoulder and Natasha’s hand on Yelena’s belly. Kate hung back for a moment, her heart slowing.
Natasha was so sweet, running her fingers through Yelena’s hair and gently caressing her bump. She kissed her softly on the head.
“I’m so proud of you, Yelena.”
Yelena just purred, almost like a cat. She hated it when people touched her stomach, but Natasha was the only one (aside from Kate) whose touch she seemed to crave.
Kate cleared her throat and they both looked up at her.
“Dinner’s ready.”
Yelena sat up and stretched, rubbing her eyes. She started pushing herself and Nat rose to help her.
“I’ve got it, Tasha.”
“No, you don’t.”
Kate and Nat flanked Yelena as she waddled into the dining room. She was only a few weeks away from her due date and her belly was essentially the biggest it was going to get. Maria pulled out her chair for her as she sat down and set a bowl of pasta down in front of her.
“What, are you going to chew my food for me next? Feed me like a little baby bird?” She grabbed the hot sauce and started to pour it on her dinner.
“Not too much, Lena.”
She gave Kate a look and Kate gave her one back. After a tense moment, she rolled her eyes and set the bottle down. Natasha shook her head and Maria smirked. Kate took it upon herself to break the silence.
“So… How was Stevie’s recital?”
“It was really good. At this rate, she’ll be better than Nat in a few years.”
“How about Nicole?”
“She never seems to know what to do with herself when softball season ends, but she’s been doing a lot of reading lately. You know how she is.”
“Hey, she’s lucky she doesn’t have a tournament every other week. I wish I’d let myself chill like that when I was her age.”
Natasha looked over at her. “Do you think you’ll want Robin to do archery or martial arts when she gets old enough?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s really up to her. I don’t want to force it on her if her heart isn’t set on it.”
“Maybe she’ll inherit some of those ballet genes from her mom.” She glanced at Yelena.
“Oh, please. You’ve always loved ballet. I’ve always hated it.”
“Maybe gymnastics, then.”
“Calm down, Tasha. It’s years down the line. Let’s just worry about today.”
“You’re right. I’m your sister, not your mom.”
Maria scoffed. “That’s news to me.”
Natasha rolled her eyes.
“That’s a nice name, by the way. Robin Bishop. It sounds kind of medieval.”
“I was worried that it was a little bland, but everyone else seems to like it.”
Yelena shrugged. “I just thought it was appropriate for an archer’s daughter. And it’s cute.” She put a hand on her stomach. “Little Robin Bishop.”
“I think it’s a beautiful name.” Natasha’s smile was as bright as the sun and her eyes had a dreamy, faraway look.
Kate reached over and placed her hand on Yelena’s, which seemed to snap her out of her trance.
“Can we talk about something other than the baby for once? I’m still a person.”
Natasha nodded. “Alright. What else have you been doing lately?”
Yelena opened her mouth. “Uh…”
---
Nat and Maria left while the night was still somewhat young. Kate washed the last of the dishes and tidied up while Yelena put the dogs out and gave them their treats, and the house went dark as they shut off most of the lights. It was always nice to have them over, but Kate also liked being able to spend quiet nights tucked in with her wife.
When she was done, Kate dried her hands and walked back into the living room. Yelena was with the dogs by the fire, scratching Fanny’s ears while Lucky watched, waiting for his turn. Kate crouched down and ran her fingers through his soft blond fur for a minute before she glanced over at Yelena.
“I feel like it’s a bath night.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Bubbles or no?”
“No, it’s too much hassle.”
“Fair enough.”
Kate stood and extended a hand to help Yelena up. The dogs watched them go for a moment before laying their heads back down and drifting off to sleep.
Walking to the bathroom, Kate put on the hot water and went to grab some new clothes for them while the tub filled up. She got some normal pajamas for herself and another dress for Yelena, which she knew she would put on with only brief hesitation. She went back and set their clothes on the counter, then started helping Yelena out of her dress. It wasn’t one of the ones that Yelena hated, but she was eager to get it off. Balling it up, she tossed it into the corner. Kate turned away as she pulled her shirt over her head and dropped her pants, feeling Yelena’s eyes sweeping over her body. Kneeling, she shut off the faucet and ran a hand through the warm water.
She looked back at Yelena. She was looking at herself in the mirror, running her hands over her swollen belly. She looked ethereal in the dim light, like some pristine statue from the Renaissance, her golden bixie slightly glowing, her strong arms flexing, her soft breasts bared, her fingers light and careful. Kate thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“Ever after all this time, something about it still feels wrong, like I’m not supposed to have this. It’s just not… me.”
Kate didn’t say anything. She just looked into Yelena’s hazel eyes.
“I never wanted to get pregnant. I hated the idea. It disgusted me. I even thought the cysts in my womb were a sign that I was right somehow, but now… Now, I have you and, even if it does feel weird, it feels right, too. This baby, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Kate reached out to feel her belly. It was so smooth and so soft, just like the rest of Yelena’s perfect body.
“The puke and the tears and the complaining… Thank you for putting up with it. I know I haven’t made it very easy.”
“Lena, I would move mountains for you. I worship you.”
“Do you?” Yelena flashed a small smirk and raked her nails over Kate’s scalp as she stood over her. It got Kate’s heart pumping again.
Kate pressed a kiss to Yelena’s stomach before rising to her feet. She took her by the hands and helped her into the tub, sitting back against the wall and wrapping her arms around her. They both sighed and their hands came to rest on her bump again, Kate’s over Yelena’s. They sat in silence for a minute or two, feeling the water cleanse them.
“You know what I miss the most?”
“What’s that?”
“The sex.”
Kate snorted.
“What? I’m serious.”
“I know, it’s just… I forgot how much of a horndog you could be.”
Yelena looked up at her. “With a wife as cute as you? How could I resist?”
Grinning, they shared a wet, toothy kiss. Pulling away, they looked at each other for a minute, Kate placing a hand on Yelena’s chest and brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
“I hope she looks like you.”
“Oh, Kate.”
Yelena tucked her nose into Kate’s neck, her hot, moist breath on her skin. Kate kissed her on the forehead and stroked her cheek. Maria’s words echoed in her head.
“Is it weird for you, the age gap?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. I’m twenty-four, you’re thirty.”
“Are you saying I’m old?”
“No, just… older.”
“I mean… I guess it’s a little weird, but you’re very mature, for the most part. It’s only weird if we make it weird.”
“I think we’re weird enough already.”
The silence returned. It was deep and pure.
Kate rubbed Yelena’s chest. She had been nodding off a lot lately and bliss like this was sure to lull her to sleep in just a few minutes, and Kate let her. She was going to miss these tender, peaceful moments, where they could just exist for a little bit, just the two of them. For all she knew, it was going to be another eighteen years before they could have nights like these again.
She thought about what lay ahead in the near future. She thought about getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, about changing her diapers and bathing her in the sink, about listening to her laugh and watching her smile. She pictured herself in bed with Yelena as she nursed Robin, her face warm and happy. She remembered what she had been like when they first met, carefree and a little aimless, still recovering from her battle with alcohol, barely in control of her short temper; she was a lot happier now, her stride confident and her smile genuine, a bit more outgoing and bubbly, still carefree but also collected.
“Kate?”
“Hm?”
“Do you wish we’d had more time before this?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. We did move pretty fast, but that’s because we fell in love pretty fast. That’s all that matters, that we love each other, and I love you so, so much.”
Yelena smiled, her eyes still closed. She was so warm; Kate held her as close as she could, wishing that she would never have to let go. She put her hand on Yelena’s belly and held it for a while, her daughter sitting mere centimeters away, completely unaware of her existence. She could have sworn she could feel her shifting in Yelena’s womb, waiting and waiting to feel just one little kick.
---
Kate waited until the water cooled to wake Yelena. The pregnancy had drained her and it took Kate a minute to get her up. She helped her out of the tub and dried her off, then got her into her nightgown. They brushed their hair and washed up before they walked out to the kitchen, Yelena’s footsteps heavy and slow. Kate scooped some berries and cream into a bowl for her as a sweet bedtime snack, watching her out of the corner of her eye. She was clearly struggling to keep her eyes open and gripped the counter for support as she swayed.
“Lena, why don’t you go lay down?”
Yelena took the bowl without a word and shuffled her way over to the living room. Kate made a bowl for herself and followed, switching off the light and leaving the kitchen in almost total darkness.
The fire was the only source of light left in the house. The dogs were still parked in front of it, long gone, and Yelena stared into it as she raised the spoon to her mouth. Her lips already had bits of cream on them and she chewed slowly as if lost in thought. Kate fell onto the couch with a sigh and set her bowl on the coffee table, looking into Yelena’s shining eyes.
“How are your feet?”
“Sore.”
“Let me take care of that.”
With a bit of effort, Yelena pulled her legs up and lay back to let Kate massage her feet. It was something of a routine at this point and Kate had figured out a good technique which Yelena liked. She relaxed as she dug her thumb into the tense muscle, relieved.
“There’s a whole baby sitting inside me right now. Arms, legs, a head, everything. Why can’t she just come out now?”
“She probably could, but she’d need a lot of care at the hospital. Besides, it’s just a few more weeks. You’ve made it this far.”
“I guess.” Yelena scraped out the last of the cream. She had inhaled her dessert. “You really like massaging my feet?”
“Of course I do. It’s nice, intimate, relaxing.”
“But feet are so gross.”
“Are you saying that you wouldn’t massage mine if I was pregnant?”
“There are always exceptions.”
“Case in point.”
Yelena turned her head back to the fire. Kate glanced over at her, her face lit by the orange glow. Her jawline was pristine and she looked so pretty with her hair slicked back against her neck; she’d chopped off a bunch of her hair last year and it had been slowly growing back since, giving her the chance to experiment with different styles which all looked equally incredible on her. She could have been a model in another life, but Kate was way too jealous to put up with the thought of others coveting her. Yelena was hers and she was Yelena’s.
In the light of the fire, she could make out the pictures on the mantle. There were only a few so far: one of the dogs, one of their first Hanukkah/ Christmas, one of Yelena and Stevie, and one of their wedding. The wedding had been simple, hastily organized after they found out that Yelena was pregnant, mainly just Yelena’s family and Clint. It was a nice change from the countless fancy parties she’d been dragged to by her mom, and it was something she would cherish for the rest of her life.
Kate let go of Yelena’s feet and started eating her dessert, feeling them rubbing against her thigh. She felt one begin to slip a bit closer, teasing, but ignored it.
When she finished her dessert, she set the bowl down and sat back, kicking her feet up on the table for a minute. It was getting late, too late for a movie, and she knew Yelena was too tired anyway. Maybe she herself was more tired than she was willing to admit.
“Kate?”
She turned to Yelena, who beckoned her closer with a curling finger, smiling slyly. Kate leaned in and Yelena wiped the corners of her mouth with her thumb, licking away the cream that came off, her eyes locked onto Kate’s the entire time. She knew she couldn’t resist that look in her eyes.
Kate came closer and kissed her, straddling her body between her legs and cupping her face in her hands, Yelena’s hands slipping under her shirt to feel her waist. She felt her smile against her lips as her tongue snaked its way into her throat, and Kate decided that maybe it wasn’t so bad to give in…
Suddenly, Yelena jumped and spit out Kate’s tongue. She looked at her for a second, eyes wide, then smiled.
“She’s kicking.”
Kate looked down at Yelena’s stomach and placed a hand on it. Sure enough, Robin was kicking hard.
“She’s so strong.”
Yelena’s expression softened. “We’re going to be moms, Kate.”
“We sure are.”
They waited until the kicks faded away. Kate pressed her forehead against Yelena’s bump for a moment and Yelena ran her fingers through her hair. Just a few more weeks.
“I love you, Robin.”
She grabbed an especially soft blanket from under the table. Yelena rolled onto her side and Kate draped the blanket over them both as they sank into the cushions together. She put her arms around her and pulled her close, kissing her on the head and taking in her sweet scent. The fire continued to crackle and pop amid the serene silence.
“I love you, Kate.”
"I love you, Lena.”
This was how it was going to be from now on, the three of them in this house, a family of their own. For the first time, at least for a moment, she felt the fear lift as she thought about everything to come, about how she was going to spend the rest of her life with this woman, how this baby was equal parts Kate and Yelena mixed into one perfect girl. She could see her in her mind’s eye as she lay there, as weird and as stubborn and as beautiful as her mother, and she couldn’t wait to finally hold her in her arms when the day came. There was so much to fear, but so much more to love and look forward to.
Kate held Yelena’s ripe belly as she let herself drift off. She couldn’t see it, but she knew she was smiling.