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Robert woke up to the smell of coffee in his apartment. His body was half asleep by the time he crawled out of bed and petted Beef, who was sleeping on his doggy bed in the corner of his room.
Following the scent of fresh coffee, he walked out of the room and spotted a tall, lanky figure slaving over the stove. A smile formed on his face, seeing Herman, his fiancé, – God, he still can’t believe it – making breakfast in a wet Mecha Man shirt and his blue boxers with duck prints.
Robert wrapped his arms around Herman’s waist, hugging him from behind. At first, Herman was startled by the contact, but he quickly calmed down once he realized who was hugging him.
“Good morning. B-Breakfast?” Herman asked,
Robert groaned, leaving kisses on Herman’s wet back. “Why are you up so early?”
“I needed to call grandma and–and her nurse to check in,” He answered while cracking eggs in the pan. “Coffee is ready.”
Robert groaned again and begrudgingly pulled away from Herman to get coffee.
Robert sat on the couch, wrapped in a protective sheet of plastic, a coffee mug in hand, in front of their new, modest TV. Ever since they were engaged a month ago, his apartment had homely additions to it. They had more kitchenware so that Herman could cook, waterproof furniture, and plastic mats throughout the apartment floor. It looked like a real home despite its small size.
They do plan to move at some point.
They were still searching for a bigger place, somewhere close to Herman’s grandmother. Even though Robert and Herman insisted Grandma Carol could move in with them, she insisted she’d be fine with a caretaker nurse. ‘Live your own life!’ She had said, but Herman was still worried. So, a house near her would be best.
“We should really, really get a dining table,” Herman commented, setting down his and Robert’s breakfast on the low coffee table.
“We’re already house hunting, Herm. Why bother with expensive furniture when we’ll buy new ones anyway?” Robert said before eating the home-cooked meal, sighing. Though Herman’s cooking tends to be on the moist side, it was still a warm and tasty meal. He can never go back to easy-microwaved platters again.
“God, marry me,” Robert groaned, shoveling the soft, runny scrambled eggs into mouth.
“W-we’re already engaged,” Herman reminded as he sat next to Robert on the couch before kissing his forehead.
This was domestic bliss, and every morning he’d wake up to this. A lazy morning with his fiancé, enjoying life, was something Robert couldn’t dream of before.
Then, the bliss broke when his phone rang.
Robert pulled out his phone and saw Blonde Blazer’s name, Mandy, on the screen. He accepted the call, but there was no greeting. Mandy went straight to the point. “Robert, have you seen the news?”
“Uh, no,” Robert froze, setting down his fork. “Why is it bad?”
“Turn on the TV,”
He reached for the remote, turned on the TV, and the first thing they saw made their stomachs drop.
“Well, fuck,” Robert cursed.
The news showed a reporter with the bold headline “MECHA MAN’S NEW LOVER?” and a snapshot of him and a tall figure in close proximity, hiding away in an alley. Robert recognized where it was taken. It was on one of his first missions since coming back as Mecha Man. He and Waterboy were assigned to clean up West of Torrance, lifting rubble and putting out fires that broke out due to an undetonated bomb left by the Red Ring during the invasion.
Robert was only out of the Mecha Man suit once to wave at the press and greet the fans, but after he and Herman moved out of sight to talk. He didn’t realize someone might have taken a photo of them in secret.
“Good Morning, Torrance, and welcome to ‘The Morning Tea’, your daily dose of tea and gossip! I am your host, Melanie Nelson,” The reporter greeted with a cheesy smile that looked too tight for her face. “The latest tea is about our one and only Mecha Man. Mecha Man is back defending our beloved Torrance. But not only that, he’s reported to be spotted with a new lover! Exclusive photos of our very own Mecha Man kissing another hero.”
The channel enhanced the blurry image of them, Robert and Herman, in their hero costumes, standing closely. Herman then whimpered when a second photo was shown of him leaning closer to Robert, kissing him.
“His alleged new lover is identified as a rookie hero named Waterboy, known for being part of the Z-Team, the heroes that saved Torrance from The Red Ring invasion a month ago.” An unflattering image of Waterboy was shown on the screen, and Robert scowled. Out of all the pictures, they chose that one. No doubt it was a deliberate jab from the news station. “The internet is speculating if this is a passionate romance or an SDN PR stunt for Mecha Fans. Stay tuned for more details.”
“Robert, are you still there?” Mandy asked on the phone.
“Yeah, we just saw it.”
“This doesn’t help with the press conference. We might have to do damage control.”
Right, the press conference. Robert remembered Mandy had set them up with a media conference to address the issues of the city, the debut of the Z-Team as SDN’s top hero group, and Mecha Man coming out of retirement.
Robert asked. “Damage control? Why?”
“Just a precaution,” Mandy said. “I’ll get everything set up. Till then, don’t go online. There’s a lot of…stuff you might not want to see.”
“Thanks, Blazer. See you Monday,” He ended the call and sighed.
He looked at the TV once again and saw the news host giving detailed and outlandish speculations about their relationship and slandering Waterboy’s image.
“We have a tweet here that reads: ‘Of all the superheroes, Mecha Man chose him!’ Well, anon, it goes to show love is truly blind. On the next tweet–”
Robert scowled, gripping the TV remote in anger.
Herman asked. “W-Why do they care a-about our–your love life?”
Robert said, turning off the TV. “That’s the media for you, sometimes they focus on the things that distract people so they won’t spiral into depression from what’s happening in the world.”
Herman muttered. “That’s…depressing,”
Robert shrugged, checking the internet on his phone if any other news media were running the story. To his surprise, a lot of them are. In the Mecha Man fan circle, their ship name was trending. It was good that there were more positive reactions to Mecha Man and Waterboy’s relationship.
“Watermech? That’s cute,” Robert admitted. “But I think the ship name Washingmachine works too,”
Hermaned leaned over, looking at the many posts about their relationship. “H-How are we trending? The news–it was only announced today!”
He scrolled on his phone and saw the #Watermech tag trending. There were several candid shots of him and Herman, nothing scandalous, but under closer inspection, someone could see they were anything but platonic. Mecha Man biting his lips while listening to Waterboy, them sharing casual touches, lingering eyes, and have no regard for personal space. Robert nearly groaned when he saw the picture of Waterboy looking at his lips, not subtle at all.
“T-T-T-That’s fan art of–Oh–That’s–um,” Herman whimpered, seeing a very lewd naked fan art of himself.
Robert snorted. “Yeah, not accurate at all, you’re a lot bigger than that.”
Herman shrieked, scandalized. “Robert!”
He scrolled down and came upon another fanart of Waterboy, this time he’s drenched from head to toe and in an extremely short maid uniform.
Herman watched Robert in horror as he said. “Are–are you–you saving that!?”
“No,” Robert lied, holding down the art and saving it into his private folder.
The day of the press conference came. Since the Z-Team gained popularity after the Red Ring attack a month ago, they were chosen to be SDN’s representative for the conference. But knowing their chaotic nature and lack of media training, Trackstar–Chase, who still had Blonde Blazer’s amulet, Mecha Man, and Waterboy, were picked out of the bunch.
Not surprising since Robert and Chase had been in the media for years. Waterboy, who lacked media presence, had a boyish rookie charm that the reporters and fans adore.
They settled into their dressing room, fixing their hero suits, while Mandy briefed them on what happens next.
“So, we introduce you to the media, address the concerns of people, answer a few questions, except personal gossipy ones, and don’t cuss out the press. Simple. Are there any other questions?”
Robert asked. “Yeah, why is Prism here?”
“Because–” She paused, looking up from her phone. “Why the fuck am I here again?”
Mandy sighed, reminding her. “You’re their social media trainer, remember? Robert and Chase have been in the media for a long time, but Waterboy hasn’t. He’s new to this.”
While fixing his goggles, Herman interjected. “I-I, um, I am not clueless. I’ve been in f-fandoms before, mostly Rock Band fandoms, internet groups. I have a R-Reddit account.”
Chase grumbled. “What the fuck is he saying? I don’t speak internet.”
“And that has nothing to do with the Watermech tag trending?” Prism smirked.
Waterboy said. “I-its’ no big d-deal, really, it doesn’t bother me–us,”
Robert shrugged. He doesn’t mind the press being vultures, but he can’t say the same when it comes to Herman. If one report even insults him today, he’ll throw hands and let PR deal with the fallout.
“But for how long? The internet is forever, baby.” Prism then pointed at both Robert and Herman. “Want my advice? I say we sail the ship!”
“Have I gone senile? That’s what old people become, right? When exposed to bullshit jargon on the internet?” Chase asked, still confused by the internet lingo.
Prism clarified. “What I am saying is, you two are a cute couple. The internet adores a veteran hero falling in love with a rookie. The greatest of fanfictions are written with this troupe.”
“I am not that old,” Robert reminded. “And our personal lives are none of their business,”
Prism rolled her eyes before she went back to typing on her phone. “Well, no shit, genius, but we ain’t talkin’ about the lives of Hermy and Roberto, this is about your masks, Mecha Man and Waterboy’s lives, what do people perceive you to be on the internet. Control the narrative now, or they’ll control it for you. The internet is a harsh place like that.”
Robert said, matching her snark. “Even if we control the narrative, as you say, it won’t guarantee anything good will come of it. Can we just say ‘no comment’? That usually works for me,”
Prism glanced up from her phone and looked at Robert dead in the eye. “Are you really gonna stand there and let your man be slandered by some greasy, parasocial, discord mods?”
“Of course not,” Robert grimaced. He saw a few negative and downright awful comments about them, especially towards Herman.
“Let’s play it safe; we don’t want a media frenzy,” Mandy interjected. “We stick to the facts for now, and if anyone asks questions on your love life–”
Robert said. “Don’t answer it, got it,”
She smiled at Herman, who looked like he was about to pass out. “And Waterboy, relax, if the questions get too uncomfortable, let Robert deflect.”
“O-Okay,”
“Be ready in five.”
Chase, Prism, and Mandy left the room, leaving Robert and Herman to get ready. When Robert slipped on the mask, he gazed into the mirror and saw Mecha Man staring back at him. The Blue and Orange suit used to feel like a second skin to him, but now, he feels alien wearing it, the good kind of strange. Maybe it was because he’s grown into a better Mecha Man, or maybe because under his glove, he feels his Titanium engagement, a match to his fiancé.
He then spotted Herman in the reflection, struggling to zip up his suit. Robert chuckled, walking over. “Here, let me help,”
Herman lets him zip up his suit to his neck. Robert’s hands lingered on his chest, saying. “Don’t listen to those vultures, okay? They're just trying to get under your skin.”
“I’ve heard what the r-reporters say. T-that’s nothing c-c-compared to–Reddit posts, I’ve seen.” Herman said softly. “You don’t have to–to defend me, from them,”
But Robert has seen the look in his eyes every time Herman saw a mean comment about their relationship. He knew Herman wasn’t fragile, but Robert still wanted to protect him. “You can’t expect me not to defend you, Herm. Those vultures are saying nasty things about you, about us,”
“I-I know, but this is bigger than us. Y-your r-reputation, as Mecha Man, you need to protect it.”
“Fuck my reputation. It gets trashed every other Tuesday anyway. I just…” Robert feared this would drive a wedge between them. “You’re more important,”
Herman smiled, placing a hand over Robert’s. “I don’t doubt that. W-we know what we are, and they don’t get t-to take that away from us.”
Then why does Robert feel like he’s hiding a dirty little secret? Herman was everything to him, not some one-night stand, rumored lover.
“Okay, Herm, I’ll be calm for now.”
“Good,”
Herman swiftly looked around, making sure no one was around and the door was closed, before planting a kiss on Robert’s lips. Robert happily returned the kiss with vigor.
“The fans are going to combust if they see us now,” Robert whispered against his lips.
“N-No one gets to see you like this, except me. This–is all mine,” Herman surged forward with a firm kiss, tongue slipping in Robert’s mouth.
Fuck.
Chase called out from behind the door. “You bitches better not be making out in there!”
“Ms Blazer, media training isn’t enough for these hoes. They need an entire motherfucking course!”
They both groaned, their kiss interrupted.
When they entered the stage, Track Star, Mecha Man, and Waterboy were blinded by the camera flashes as a flurry of reporters screamed their names.
The briefing room was small, but it was fully packed with reporters, cameras, and light stands that were too harsh for their eyes. On stage, there was a long table with three microphones ready for them.
Mecha Man and Track Star waved at the reporters, giving them a chance to photograph them. Waterboy, however, stood awkwardly and waved only when Mecha Man gestured to him.
They settled into their designated seats, and the reporters all hushed, waiting for the opening statement.
“No doubt you’re here for a few things.” Mecha Man started. “First of all, we wanted to thank you all for being here today. SDN has chosen us to address your concerns and answer any questions you might have.”
Not bad for someone who hated the press. Robert’s media training was kicking in.
“Since Blonde Blazer isn’t here today due to other matters,” Robert glanced at Mandy and Prism, who were standing at the side of the stage. “Members of the Z-Team, Track Star, Waterboy, and I will conduct this conference.”
There was a flash of the cameras.
“Okay, we are taking questions. If we could do this in an orderly–” Robert was cut off by the hounding of the reporters, hurling their questions and raising their hands.
Robert pointed at a man in the middle row.
“Question for Track Star!” A middle-aged gentleman rose from his seat. “Paul Zubiri from Channel 8. First of all, welcome back, Mr Track Star. Good to see a real hero in the roster.”
“Kiss ass,” Chase mumbled away from his microphone, and Waterboy almost snorted.
“The county is still in shambles after the Red Ring Attack. What are your plans to clean up the city?”
“Well, we’re doing the best we can, but Torrance is a small branch of SDN. We are working closely with DTLA and our Mayor to repair the damages that those Red Ring Motherfu–uh, gang did. Yeah, we’re making slow but steady progress.” Chase finished gracefully.
More flashes of the camera and reporters yelling over each other. Robert pointed at a young lady in the front row. “Yes, you,”
“Britney Kahn from the Hero’s Inquiry, A question for Waterboy,” She smiled with a small notepad in hand.
“Y-Yes?” Waterboy spoke too close to the microphone, making his voice unusually loud.
“You’re a rookie hero by definition, but you went above and beyond the call of duty during the invasion of the Red Ring. How does it feel to be part of the Z-Team?”
Oh, Robert liked her. He’ll remind Mandy to invite the Hero’s Inquiry to all their press conferences.
“W-Well, um, it-it feels great!” Waterboy stuttered nervously and only settled when Robert reached for his hand under the table. Herman swallowed, continuing. “Someone t-took a chance on me, believed in me. L-Let me be a hero. N-Now, I-I have a team, The Z-Team, who accepted me, d-d-despite my faults. I-it feels surreal.”
Britney Kahn and the other reporters softened at Herman’s statement. Robert beamed proudly at his fiancé.
A voice cut through Robert’s stupor. “Question for Mecha Man,”
“Yes?” Robert asked and saw a woman standing in a pink suit.
“Melanie Nelson from The Morning Tea,”
He frowned, remembering her from the gossip segment on TV, slandering Herman and making snide comments about their relationship.
He knew she was trouble.
“Does the Red Ring have anything to do with you coming out of retirement?” Melanie Nelson asked.
Robert kept his answer short. “It only seemed fair that I’d join the fight. I feel responsible given our history–”
She raised her voice over his words before he could finish. “Follow-up question!”
Robert frowned. “Sorry, one question per–“
But Melanie Nelson insisted. “Scandalous pictures are floating around about you and a certain hero. Care to comment?”
He scowled but remained professional. “No comment,”
But the room erupted with the same cycle of questions: ‘So the rumors are true? Mecha Man, are you and Waterboy an item? How long have you been together? Waterboy is Mecha Man a terrible kisser?’
The vultures were insatiable for any piece of gossip.
Chase yelled. “Settle the fuck down!”
The reporters settled quietly, but Robert could still hear the clicking of cameras.
“Any other questions?” Robert asked, and a few hands were raised, begging to be called. “Besides my personal life,”
Several hands went back down, but one reporter stood. “How does it feel to be voted the worst hero in California, Mecha Man?”
“In a country full of Neanderthals, I wear the fucking badge of honor.” He said impatiently.
Another reporter, unprompted, asked. “How about the rumors you’re dating that loser Waterboy?”
“Who the fuck said that?” Robert roared, standing from his seat and ready to pounce on the reporter.
There were more flashes of the camera while the reporters screamed over each other. Waterboy stood from his seat, anxiously pulled Mecha Man away from the microphone before he said anything incriminating.
“Uhh, no comment!” Waterboy mumbled as he shoved Mecha Man away from the cameras. But before they even left the stage, Robert heard all the derogatory comments.
“A man like Mecha Man deserves someone better!”
“Mecha Man, are you sure he’s not using you for clout?”
“Waterboy, Waterboy, is it true you’re obsessed with Mecha Man?”
“Are you a stalker, Waterboy?”
That was it.
He’s been in the media for a decade, and he’s grown thicker skin because of it. So, he was used to being slandered by the press. Herman, on the other hand, was not. Robert wasn’t about to let his fiancé be eaten by the wolves.
Robert broke free from Herman’s grip and stormed back to the table, grabbing the nearest microphone. With a thunderous voice, Robert scowled. “Listen here, you want my statement? Write this down!”
The crowd hushed, waiting for Mecha Man’s grand statement.
“I am not dating Waterboy!” He said firmly before removing his glove and showing a matching Titanium ring on his finger. “I am engaged to him!”
The sudden flash of cameras nearly blinded them. Reporters were on their feet, screaming their questions and asking for more details about their engagement.
Mandy was pinching the bridge of nose from the sidelines while Chase and Prism gave them a thumbs up.
Herman grabbed his hand and swiftly led him away from the stage. The press had a few good shots of them holding hands.
Chase got up, speaking into his mic. “And that concludes the press conference. Mecha Man and Waterboy won’t take any more questions. Thank you and good fucking day,”
Not even an hour later, the tending tag was #WATERMECHISCANON, and there were several more candid shots of Waterboy and Mecha Man making out outside of the building where they held the press conference.