Work Text:
I had known something was off for a few days. I suppose if I’d been paying better attention to myself, I would have known a lot sooner.
Walking down the streets of Velaris after meeting with the healer was like a dream, my mind stuck perpetually in the clouds. I noticed everything and saw nothing all at the same time, running in to people accidentally when they were two steps in front of me, but still somehow able to see all of the colors of this beautiful city. It was so surreal. Somehow my sudden revelation made everything more vibrant, more alive, and I was in complete awe of the world in a way I never had been before as I neared my city apartment that I shared with Rhys.
Rhys.
Adrenaline shot through my system, a system that wasn’t entirely prepared for such sudden swings in mood anymore. Rhys was waiting for me and I’d have to tell him what had happened. My mind instantly filled with the most charming vision of him, his face lighting up into a huge crescent smile, his cheeks ablaze with life and all the happiness we’d fought so dearly for. I wanted to paint it, to make it a reality and encapsulate the moment forever even though it hadn’t happened… yet.
A deep exhale went out of my lungs and my body instantly relaxed, which I was thankful for because some of the scents wafting through the air of Velaris’ city streets were making me feel dizzy. I would miss those glorious scents I normally enjoyed over the next few months, but what a small sacrifice to make! This was a good thing. A very good thing and with Rhys minutes in front me, it was about to get a whole lot better.
Or at least, I thought it would. And then I walked into our spacious apartment and found not my Rhysand, but Mor waiting for me.
“Oh,” I said a little too deflated upon seeing her, swinging the door closed behind me.
“Nice to see you too, Feyre,” Mor said. “I’m sorry I can’t be as heart-stopping as my cousin, but I promise to give it my best shot next time.” She winked with a little chuckle and made for my hand. “Come on, we’re having dinner!”
“We are?”
“Yeah! Everyone’s already up there. Cassian called a sort of impromptu meeting with Rhys to discuss some issues going on in the training camps and eventually, each of us just sort of turned up looking for someone throughout the day. I came to fetch you, but Feyre… are you alright? No offense, but you look a bit sick.”
I issued a nervous, dry laugh and tried to regain my composure. Mor would know soon enough, but Rhys needed to know first before anyone. My heart sped up at just the thought of his name. I needed to see him, and sooner rather than later.
“I’m fine, Mor. But I’m a bit tired. I walked all over this blasted city today. I might just stay here if you could send Rhys…”
“Oh no, you have to come!” Mor looked genuinely disappointed that I might not be there. It made my heart warm to know I was so missed by her, one of my dearest friends, even when we saw each other almost every day as it was.
Rhys.
The look in Mor’s eye was pleading. I could stay and sit anxiously around as I waited for Rhys to finish dinner - ugh, I did not want to think about food right now. Or I could go, have a few laughs, and tell him afterwards, as painful as the thought of food I did not want being shoved in front my face was. Either way, I’d have to wait.
My mate. My mate. My mate.
“Okay,” I said, my body’s desperation to see him and feel the affirmation of what we’d done in his eyes overwhelming my growing desire to run to the bathroom as far from food as possible.
Mor smiled, but the look she gave me was skeptical. I grabbed her hand so she could winnow us before she had time to ask questions and before I knew it, we were walking into the House of Mist surrounded by everyone. Cassian and Azriel were already seated and shoveling food whilst Amren watched them with judgmental eyes.
And there was Rhys, leaning against the fireplace mantle that warmed the room, his figure tall and lean as he stared at the flames pensively, his eyes snapping to attention as he spotted me the second I strode into the room. He smiled and my heart shattered all over again. The top of his tunic hung open partially, exposing some of his swirling, black tattoos and suddenly my nausea was replaced by another completely different type of urge.
If playing Russian Roulette with my physical responses to the world every 20 seconds was what my body had in store for me for the next several months, i didn’t know how I was going to get through it. I could feel my skin begin to sweat because of it.
Rhys started for me and then halted no more than a foot away, his entire body going sort of rigid.
“You smell different,” was all he said, his eyes narrowing in confusion. I felt the conversation in the room drop and all eyes turned to me. A different smell on someone’s mate could be dangerously misinterpreted in a hurry.
“Wha-what?” I said.
Rhys nodded. “It’s subtle, but it’s there.”
My eyes darted nervously and caught Mor staring at me, her face a mirror of Rhys’.
Taking a deep breath and schooling my face into as much neutrality as I could muster, I walked up to Rhys and slid my hands around his neck. “I spent a long time outside today. You’re probably just picking up on all that spice Rita’s sends wafting through the air.” I gave him a quick little peck on the lips and pulled away towards the table acting as if nothing were the matter.
It seemed to work. Rhys sat down next to me and took my hand in his, kissing my palm in a way that seemed to say he was just happy to see me. But Mor was less convinced. She sat down across from me with a question in her eyes that I looked immediately away from. At least she didn’t seem suspicious of something worse.
After all, if my smell was starting to change, I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea about why. Which was why this dinner couldn’t be over fast enough. The sooner I told Rhys, the better.
“It seems I missed the party,” I said, nodding towards Cassian and Az who had re-instated themselves in the feasting festivities. “Rhys, if you already ate, I’m not all that hungry. We can head back anytime you’re ready.”
Cassian snorted. “Well it looks like somebody’s on the prowl tonight, heh…”
Az tried and failed to stifle his laugh as Rhys’ lips went tight.
“Oh don’t look so affronted,” Cassian said. “You two mated ages ago. It’s not like I have a shot with her… or do I?” Cassian made a clicking noise clearly intended to stir Rhys into a frenzy and to my surprise, it worked. Rhys bolted up out of his chair and stood so fast, Az and I both had to stand and hold either arm to make sure he wouldn’t attack.
Cassian was right. The installment of the mating bond had been over a century ago. Rhys still had his moments of heated over-protectedness towards me, but usually only in the most extreme of moments that were few and far between. No, he’d mostly cooled it, so why was he so aggressive tonight?
“Dinner,” Amren’s monotone voice announced as she set a steaming plate of richly spiced meats and rices in front of me. The scent made my head swim in the worst of ways and I had to concentrate hard on keeping Rhys at bay to fight the renewed wave of nausea off. Mor had yet to drop her staring at me and it only seemed to intensify as I turned to Rhys and pulled him back into his seat, gripping my arm rest for support when I was done.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him quietly and he shook his head as if even he were a little in disbelief.
“I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “You showed up and I instantly felt so defensive.”
“Oh,” I said, recoiling a little bit, but not too far so I wouldn’t have to smell more of the plate Amren had given me. “I’m sorry…”
“No!” Rhys said quickly. “Not towards you. Towards everyone else. It’s just, you smell different and I can’t get over it for some reason.”
“OH!”
My head snapped across the table along with everyone else’s. For the second time, the room had gone quiet as we looked at Mor and her widening eyes. She was now staring back and forth between me and Rhys with the hugest grin on her face.
“Oh!” she said again. “I get it! Oh my gosh, I get it. That’s why you… Feyre!”
Her hand slapped the table and reached across for my own, her entire demeanor now shifted to one of utter delight.
“What’s she talking about?” Rhys asked.
“Yeah, what’s she talking about Feyre, daaaaarling,” Cassian chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows mockingly. Az rolled his eyes as Amren whacked Cass not so politely across the back of the head before Rhys could shift in his seat and snarl.
“Will you stop,” Az said, though he still had that goofy grin on his face that said he fully applauded his brother’s snark.
“When?!” Mor asked. I was immediately nervous. She didn’t realize yet that no one knew, but I drew a blank on how to cut her off.
“When what?” Rhys said. He now looked a bit alarmed and reached out for me, but the second his fingers grazed my skin, it was like a second wave hit him. I could see his nostrils flare ever so slightly as he took in my scent. He released a deep breathe, a shudder really. “You smell… good.”
“Ah,” Amren tutted, finally sitting down now that Cassian seemed under control. “I see,” she stated simply.
“Oh what, you too!” I snapped. I couldn’t help it. I was pretty sure a fork flew off the table when my hand slammed down against it, but I was barely cognizant of it. I was starting to get irritated. My perfect vision from earlier of how I would tell Rhys was crumbling to pieces.
“’You too’ what?!” Rhys said still the utter picture of confusion.
“Oh Rhysand,” Amren stated cooly. “You may be the most powerful High Lord ever to have graced Prythian, but you can certainly remain aloof of particular things - or people - when you want to.” She shook her head in amusement.
“Okay, can someone just explain what’s going on so I can finish eating?” Cassian demanded.
“Oh Cass,” Mor said and I noticed Az looked up with a little start at the way she said Cassian’s name. She’d have to soothe him for that one later when they went home. “It’s obvious. She smells different, doesn’t want an ounce of her food, and now that Rhys has picked up on it - albeit, obliviously - he’s back to his feral mating ways.”
Cassian, ever the scholar, shrugged like a neanderthal and a small piece of carrot fell out of his mouth. Mor’s shoulders sagged. She turned to Az who was nearer across the table from her and whispered in his ear so that he could pass it along down the table. But Cass had to wait a moment longer. The second the words were out of Mor’s lips, Az’s face lit up like the stars.
“Aw, man,” Az said, his hands clenching to form an emotional fist as he looked from Rhys and back to me. “He’s gonna flip when you tell him.” The amount of love and family I saw in Az’s eyes for me just then momentarily melted my temper.
Until Cassian reiterated his confusion so Az could pass along the message and I was once again reminded that everyone else in this room save the most important person knew my secret. My irritation flared to no end.
“Oh!” Cassian said, his seat flying back from the table and his hands clapping as he whooped, “Nice!”
“That’s it!” I yelled, nearly on the verge of tears. I loved every single moron in this room, but this was a moment I had dreamed about for along time, even long before it had actually happened, and I was not going to tell him like this.
I stood up, having to steady myself for a moment as the scent of meat hit my nose again, and stalked off towards the door so I could get far enough to winnow off.
“I’m going to the apartment,” I gasped.
“Oh Feyre, I’m sorry,” Mor said, standing up behind me and she did sound genuinely sorry. “Just tell him! He won’t care how you do it.”
“Yeah, Feyre,” Az agreed, because of course he agreed with Mor. “You know he’s gonna be excited no matter what and we’re all here for it, so it’s perfect.”
Az’s sentimentality reminded me of just how much of a family this really was. I stopped walking. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was sort of perfect. How could i not have seen that before?
Rhys finally got up and everyone else was quiet again as he walked up behind me and gently grabbed my hand. “Feyre, darling…” I turned around and immediately, his eyes closed as he breathed me in, but when he opened them again, I could see he was just beginning to understand. “Why do you smell so different?” His voice was low and begging, maybe even a little desperate in his hope, and I nearly choked out my answer, I was so exhausted from my former anger.
So I gave his hand a little squeeze and spoke.
“It’s not me you’re smelling. Not technically…”
I slid his hand until it was on my waist where that certain someone was. His eyes stared for a moment at my stomach, still taut and flat for now, and I saw it click into place behind his eyes. He looked at me then and could barely manage to say the words.
“Are you… Feyre, are you really?”
“Yes,” I nodded. My face cracked into a wide smile as I moved my arms around his neck once more. “Yes, really. We’re going to have ourselves a little Night Court baby.”
And then the last thing I had expected happened. Rhys held his breathe for the longest second of my life and crumpled against me, his head falling into the crook of my neck as he cried. Over his shoulder, I could see the faces of each of our friends staring at us in complete silence. Had they ever seen their High Lord who oozed such power and strength every second of the day… cry?
Mor’s mouth was hanging open slightly, but it quickly turned into the kindest smile I had seen her give. Az grabbed her hand and nodded at me, echoing her sentiment. I already knew he’d be the best uncle in the world. Cassian fist bumped with Az’s free hand and even Amren gave me a smile I so rarely saw from her, a smile that said she was proud.
But Rhy’s reaction by far meant the most to me as he became a sobbing mess at my shoulder.
“Well this certainly isn’t what I expected!” I said with an encouraging laugh.
I pulled away when Rhys didn’t move and took his face in my hands. “Rhysand,” I breathed. “Rhysand… I love you.”
He smiled through his salty tears and repeated himself. “But are you really? Do I really get to have that again?”
My heart simultaneously broke and mended as he spoke. To think of the family Rhys had lost so many years ago and now finally he was getting a special piece of it back. Nothing could have ever made me happier than I was in that moment save the day I became his mate.
“Really, really,” I whispered.
Finally, his lips twitched into a small expression of relief that he could finally accept this was happening after years and years of waiting. “My mate, my mate, mate…” he chanted quietly, the only sound in the room.
And then all at once, he wrapped me up in his arms, my feet popping off the floor as he took all of me into him. I felt him inhale my new scent again more deeply than he had yet to do and when he set me back down, a new look took over his eyes.
“As much as I hate to cut our dinner short,” Rhys announced to the room at large though he looked only at me. His fingers were already darting for the straps on my clothes. “I am going to make love to the High Lady of the Night Court and mother of my future child now, so I suggest you all leave unless you’d rather stay and see the show.”
“What, here?!” Cassian said when Rhys’ fingers didn’t stop in their mission of exposing more and more of my skin. “Shit!”
I couldn’t help it. I tipped my head back and laughed. Everyone very promptly left the room so that Rhys and I could celebrate our union properly. It was all I wanted and it was glorious.
———
I woke up to find a pair of eyes watching me in the dark. Not quite dark anymore. A tiny opening in the curtain revealed a sliver of faint pinks and reds in the sky. Dawn was approaching.
Slowly and as quietly as I could, I slipped out of the covers on the bed trying very hard not to wake my mate up. She’d done enough hard work in the last 24 hours, more than earning her rest. Letting her sleep was the least I could do.
And besides, this was a moment I’d wanted for a very, very long time.
I met the pair of eyes staring at me in the dim light of the room and scooped up their beloved owner. She gave a sleepy yawn, her small inexperienced wings that she had yet no control over giving the faintest quiver of movement as I leaned her against my bare chest. I grabbed a blanket so she wouldn’t be cold and opened the door to the balcony of our room where I made my way to sit on the flat stone railing, my back to the wall.
I took a deep breathe and enjoyed the feeling of her warm body cozied up against me as my chest fell. It seemed so impossible that someone could be so small and yet so crucial to my life, but here she was. She looked so much like Feyre with her ears pointed in precisely the same way and her little tufts of dark, golden hair swaying in the light breeze outside. But her eyes were violet like mine and I could already smell the citrus of her. Not even a full day and I was already fiercely proud to call her mine.
And just as suddenly as the sun had come peeking over the horizon, I wanted to cry again just like I had when Feyre told me we’d have her. My family was whole again.
I looked down at her as she struggled between waking and sleeping, wanting to go back to the Court of Dreams inside her mind and not wanting to miss her first sunrise at the same time. For a moment her eyes found mine again this time in the light of Velaris and I could have sworn she smiled, just a little smile, just for me.
My heart could not have been fuller.
<3