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Mickey always assumed Ian would be the type to go through a midlife crisis, especially since he was the kind of person who rested their worth on their looks…He just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
Ian had just turned thirty-seven and all it took was one eye-roll from Yev and a ‘God, Dad, you’re so old’ to get him started. It started with some extra workouts at the gym added to his regular routine, then it was him dying his hair a darker red, and then it was him wanting to spend every weekend clubbing. Mickey didn’t enjoy clubbing even when he was in his twenties; he only went to get laid. If he could get laid at home by his hot husband, what the fuck did he need to go to a club for?
Even Yev had noticed it and worried a little, thinking that maybe Ian was having a manic episode. Mickey had trouble calming Yev down from that one, knowing the signs well and being confident that this wasn’t one. It was just the obligatory midlife crisis everyone needed to go through at some point. Mickey just couldn’t wait until it was over with already.
Yev was home for the break from college one morning when he decided to talk to Mickey about it again. ‘Dad, I just think it’s getting a little ridiculous now.’
Mickey snorted into his coffee. ‘Yeah, you’re telling me. He wants to sign us up for facials now. Apparently his skin needs to be “rejuvenated” or some shit.’
‘Are you sure this is about him?’ Yev gave Mickey a look that he apparently was supposed to be able to read.
Mickey gave him his patented “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” look. ‘Of course it’s about him; I don’t have any problems. It’s his midlife crisis.’
Yev huffed. ‘No, what I mean is, is his midlife crisis about him? Maybe it’s about the both of you.’
‘What the fuck do you mean by that?’ Mickey said, a little offended. What the fuck had he done that meant Ian had a midlife crisis? ‘You’re the one that called him old in the first place!’
Yev sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. ‘Yes, and trust me, I regret that every day. No, I mean maybe he’s having a midlife crisis because you look so…Well…you look a lot younger than him, Dad.’
Now Mickey was offended on behalf of his husband. ‘I’ll have you know that your father is a fucking hot piece of ass.’
Yev cringed. ‘Jesus, Dad. No. I’m not saying he looks bad; he just looks older than you. He looks the age he is, but you look younger than you are.’
Mickey frowned. ‘I do?’
‘Like a small almond,’ Yev said, nodding and taking a bite out of his toast. ‘Even Dave thinks so.’
‘Who?’
‘My friend from college. I showed him a picture of us at your birthday and he said that you looked like my older brother.’
‘You were born when I was fuckin’ nineteen, though. It makes sense.’
‘Just shut up and take the compliment, old man.’
‘Who’s old?’ Ian chirped as he came downstairs.
‘Dad,’ Yev answered, standing up to put his plate in the dishwasher. ‘Speaking of which, can Dave stay here a few days?’
Ian and Mickey exchanged a glance before Ian shrugged and Mickey responded, ‘Yeah, whatever.’
‘Great. Well, I got a thing. See ya.’ With that, and a prompting look at Mickey, their son strode out the door.
‘So I was thinking,’ Ian began as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
Mickey almost sighed, but held himself back. That was how every plan of Ian’s began. He really was sick of this, especially since it seemed like it was getting in the way of their time to just be together. They had fought so long and hard for this; the fact that Ian didn’t seem happy enough with it was frustrating and a little hurtful, really. This was all Mickey had wanted and ever would want, but Ian apparently needed more than they had. And all because of some stupid comment from their son.
‘We should make a bucket list of things we want to do before we die. That way, it’ll be easier to get through all of them.’ Ian sat down beside his husband, knocking his knee against his. ‘Doesn’t that sound fun?’
Mickey slowly closed his eyes, rubbing at his temples. It was time. He couldn’t do this anymore. He was a grown-up and he could express his feelings. ‘Look…I love that you’re going out there and trying new things and all that…but this feels a little…it’s too fuckin’ much, alright? You’re doing all this shit and it…it feels like what we have — right here, right now — isn’t good enough for you. And you’re kind of overdoing it with the gym. You’re in almost constant pain from it, man. You’re pushing yourself too hard.’
‘I’m just trying to improve myself, Mick. I get it…I won’t include you if you don’t want to be included, but I’m not unhappy. I just want to get to do everything I can. I want life to be epic, ya know?’
‘It can’t be epic the way it is now?’
Ian sighed, seemingly a bit frustrated. ‘You just don’t get it. I’ve got work, so I’m gonna head out now. If you want, we can talk about it later.’
Without another word, Ian got up and walked out the door, leaving Mickey to get on with his day. He knew that he and Ian weren’t in a fight, but they’d decided that if one person needed to leave a discussion, they just could — no questioning. It didn’t work all the time, but most of the time it allowed them to think about it and not get worked up.
Mickey sighed, slumping in his chair and knowing this was gonna be a long day.
*
Ian had had a long, hard day. Mostly because he was thinking about what Mickey had said, and he guessed he could see his side of the story, but he also didn’t think he was really doing anything to get upset over. He was just working to make sure he looked as good as the person who stood beside him; was that so wrong? He wanted to be perfect for Mickey. He’d disappointed and hurt him so many times; all he wanted was to make sure he would never do it again. That Mickey wouldn’t look at him one day and wish he hadn’t decided to spend his life with him.
He was looking forward to telling Mickey this and finishing their conversation, and maybe having sex and cuddling after, but as he walked in the front door, he was hit with the cold, harsh reality that that was not going to happen tonight.
Some guy was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Yev in their lounge room. He was clearly an attractive guy, but he was also twenty and way too young to think of as hot anymore. He was the kind of guy that Ian definitely would’ve been into when he was twenty, though. His body was toned and he had curly dark hair. He kind of looked like Diego Boneta.
Ian immediately felt paranoid. Not in the way he did when he thought the MPs were after him, thank God, because he, on some level, knew this would never happen, but he was immediately worried about having this attractive man around Mickey. Ian wasn’t looking his best. Maybe this kid would find a way to seduce his well-meaning, sweet husband. Ian’s eye twitched.
‘Hey, Yev. Who’s this?’
They both looked up at him, but the kid answered instead of Yev, ‘Hey, sir. I’m Dave, Yev’s friend from college?’
Ian nodded. ‘Oh, yeah. You’re staying a few days, right?’ When they both nodded in response, Ian’s eye twitched again. ‘Make yourself at home.’
Dave grinned. ‘Thank you, sir. Mickey said the same thing. You’re both very welcoming.’
Ian forced himself to unclench his jaw. The kid was just being friendly; there was nothing to be upset about. So what if Dave was calling Mickey by his first name? Maybe it was better than “sir” anyway, since that word held a lot of innuendo anyway.
Before the vein in his forehead could burst, Ian hurried upstairs to see his husband sitting on the bed, typing up something on his computer. Maybe he’s looking up the legal age of consent? That’s ridiculous…Dave is probably twenty and that’s obviously old enough.
It’s also ridiculous because Mickey would never do that, Ian reminded himself firmly, trying to rid himself of the outlandish thoughts.
‘What are you doing?’ Ian asked, flopping down onto the bed and taking off his shoes.
Mickey sent him a fond smile over his shoulder. ‘I’m booking those fuckin’ facials you wanted. Thinking that since I am in no fuckin’ way interested in going skydiving that this might be a good compromise. We still need to talk about this, though.’
‘Why don’t we do it now?’ Ian smiled, placing a hand on Mickey’s thigh comfortingly.
Mickey glanced at the door, clearly not wanting to talk about it while they had guests. ‘Maybe we can later.’
Ian nodded. ‘Yeah, sure. So, what’s for dinner?’
*
If there was one word to describe David Garcia, it was determined. If there was something he wanted, he was going to get it. And ever since he saw the picture of Mickey, he knew he wanted him. The fact that he had a husband was just a small spot on his otherwise flawless plan. Mickey was clearly frustrated about Ian’s midlife crisis that Yev had been complaining about. All it would take was a little push, and he would be in there. There being Mickey’s bubble butt, obviously.
He was going to be staying there a few days, so he already had a carefully plan laid out across the time he was there. First, it was gaining Mickey’s attention. Then, he would get him alone and say something suggestive to see if he was going to take the bait. Then, if he didn’t take the bait, he would just have to get more…creative.
It took a lot of planning and maybe some underhandedness, but it would be worth it. Mickey was perfect. And now that he’d met him, he was even more sure of that. His crush was growing minute by minute and he was not willing to give up.
*
Mickey was getting a little freaked out. First, it was Yev’s friend practically deep-throating the hot dogs they had for dinner and then he ran into him coming back from a shower. Dave was only wearing the towel and hadn’t even bothered to dry off. Mickey just apologised gruffly, averted his eyes, and got the fuck out of there. He didn’t know what the kid was doing, but it was getting uncomfortable.
Ian had also noticed and was…something a little more intense than uncomfortable. He had been watching Dave like a hawk, trying to take Mickey everywhere with him so he was never alone with him, and he’d been grumpy as all hell.
Dave was only staying for one more day, and Mickey couldn’t be more glad. He hadn’t gotten laid in these past few days and he was getting a little antsy.
Mickey was in the kitchen making lunch when Dave leant against the bench next to him. Mickey tried his best to pretend the dude wasn’t there, just keeping his eyes on the sandwiches he was making.
‘So…you’re good at that.’
Mickey cleared his throat uncomfortably. ‘Uh, thanks, I guess…’
‘I guess…I was just wondering…’ Dave slid closer, getting in Mickey’s personal space.
Mickey froze up. What the fuck was going on right now? Even with all the crazy stuff that had happened — the hotdogs, the shower — he had never expected the kid to actually get the balls to hit on him.
Dave, taking Mickey’s tensing as desire, slid a hand up to cup his ample ass. ‘What else you’re good at…’
‘Whoa,’ Mickey barked, pushing away. ‘What the fuck are you doing?’
Dave gaped a little. He was so sure he had him. He decided not to lose face and keep trying. Mickey was probably just acting like this because he wanted to be a good person and not cheat. ‘I just thought that since things seem to only be simmering with your husband that you might want to try someone who can actually bring the heat.’
Mickey clenched his jaw and was about to tell this kid what was what, when, out of nowhere, Yev came barrelling around the corner and punched Dave in the face. Mickey was so shocked at how fast it had all happened that he just stared as Yev threw punch after punch into his friend’s face.
‘You fuckin’ conniving dipshit!’ Yev growled.
Ian followed quickly after, pulling Yev off Dave. ‘Yev, Yev, c’mon.’
‘You know what he just did!’ Yev snapped.
‘I do, but he’s not worth it.’ Ian pulled Yev harder and Yev finally relented. Once his son was standing by Mickey, he turned to Dave. ‘Get the fuck out of my house.’
Dave stood, wiping at his bloody lip. He shot Ian a glare. ‘Whatever, asshole. Just because your husband is a hot dumbass, doesn’t mean you gotta come down on me about trying something.’
Mickey finally snapped back into it at that moment, coming up behind Dave and pulling his arm into a lock behind his back and shoving him to the door. ‘I believe they said to get the fuck out.’ After throwing the kid out the door, he picked up his backpack and threw it after him, yelling out, ‘And I’m not a fuckin’ dumbass, bitch!’
*
Later that night, when they were lying in bed, they decided to talk about it. They had avoided it all day since Dave had left, but Yev had given them both a speech before bed about discussing things with each other. He also apologised for letting Dave around in the first place, which was ridiculous since it wasn’t his fault. They took Yev’s advice, though. It was time to talk about everything.
‘Even though it clearly was what was happening this time, why were you so paranoid about Dave?’ Mickey asked. ‘I mean, you fuckin’ tried to take me everywhere with you…You almost never left me alone. What did you think was going to happen?’
‘I thought he’d do what he did.’
Mickey sighed. ‘Doesn’t mean it would happen.’
‘Yeah…’
‘Gallagher!’ Mickey sat upright. ‘Did you think I would really hook up with that punk?’
Ian sighed, sliding up to sit next to Mickey against the headboard. ‘I just…It’s not surprising that the kid was trying to hit on you. You look really good for your age, and I…look a lot older than you now and I’m two years younger than you! I just know I’m not looking the best and I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want you to look at me one day and think “Fuck, why am I with this old shit?” I don’t want to be ditched for some young piece of ass.’
Mickey gave him a soft look before smacking him firmly upside the head. Ian cried out in pain, rubbing at his head and barely noticed as Mickey straddled him. After a moment, he placed his hands on Mickey’s hips and glared at him.
‘That was mean.’
‘You’re a dumbass,’ Mickey retorted. ‘Look, we’re going to get older. It’s happening. One day I’m going to look like Father Time. Will you ever look at me and wish you weren’t with me? Would you ditch me?’
Ian shook his head vehemently. ‘Of course I wouldn’t.’
‘Exactly, and that’s not just because you have a grandpa fetish. So why the fuck would I do that to you, huh?’
Ian groaned, clearly frustrated with the fact that Mickey was right. ‘I’m not ageing well, Mick.’
‘Shut the fuck up with that noise. You’re hot. You’ve always been hot to me, always will be. I’m not interested in anyone else. You could look like a lizard and I’d still be into you, because you’re you.’ He leant his forehead against his husband’s. ‘So shut the fuck up about it. Besides, I’m bound to catch up at some point, Gallagher.’
‘You really mean it?’ Ian checked, unable to help himself.
Mickey gave him a soft smile. ‘I really do, dickhead. Now, because of this whole shit-show, I haven’t gotten laid in a while, so how about I prove how much I mean it?’
Ian was about to say something, probably snarky, so Mickey decided to shut that shit down real quick, kissing him. And, with that, it was finally over. Ian didn’t feel the need to be any better than he already was, because he knew that, no matter what, Mickey thought he was amazing. What they had was good. It was perfect.
Mickey couldn’t wait to cancel those fucking facials.