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Grian looked at the roof, a simple mistletoe dangling from it, one of many. All the Hermits were together for Christmas and he had the brilliant idea of putting up mistletoes everywhere. Obviously he didn’t do it for them, he did it for himself. He wanted to catch Scar under the mistletoe. He wanted to kiss Scar but was too shy to ask. He wanted to apologise to Scar but was too afraid to approach him with that topic. He wanted Scar back but was scared… so the only means he had of getting him back was under the excuse of a mistletoe. Surely that would be an easy task. Surely?
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Grian pulled out a crate from the bottom shelf, blowing off the thin layer of dust and coughing. He opened its lid and saw his own face being reflected into the sparkling ornaments. Standing up and carrying the crate with him, he walked out into the living room where the naked Christmas tree stood, bare of all decorations. He set the crate at the foot of the tree and one by one took out the ornaments, hanging them on the tree. It was a slow and silent task, meant to be peaceful. He picked up a rather large ornament and looked into it. Its reflection showed him that Scar was standing a few steps behind him, under the mistletoe.
This was his chance. He’d walk over to Scar, apologise for all the pain he caused him, point out the fact they were under the mistletoe and then… kiss. Happy ending for all of them.
He gently placed the ornament in the crate and turned around, brushing his sweater and slowly making his way towards Scar. Scar noticed him too for his grin grew wide and he ran over to Grian.
Great.
“Hey G.” He smiled, ruffling his hair. There was subtle tension in his smile, Grian noticed, though he didn’t know whether it was intentional or not.
Grian mirrored his smile, trying to push back the annoyance at the fact that Scar just could not stay put under the mistletoe and at the fact that Scar didn’t look at him as if he was a monster. How could Scar still love him? Because he didn’t love himself anymore. He never did anyways. “Hi Scar.”
“Oh you’re decorating the tree?” Scar looked over his shoulder, “Let me help.” He picked up an ornament and hung it on the tree.
“Careful, they’re fragile.” He full well knew how clumsy Scar was and boy, would it be hard to tell Doc that Scar broke some of his ornaments. He and Grian already had a bad history with handling any of Doc’s stuff, especially his redstone.
Grian sighed and got out the fairy lights, draping them over the tree. His hand ever so slightly pressed against Scar’s and he pulled away. He wanted Scar to touch him and to hold him but… how could he ask him that after all he put Scar through? Swallowing his feelings, he continued decorating the tree with faked neutrality, hoping Scar didn’t notice anything.
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The second time they were all seated around the dining table, sharing a well-cooked meal made by theirs truly, Pearl. Grian poked the meat with his fork, his other hand supporting his head as he stared at, well, Scar. Pearl seemed to have noticed this because she elbowed him and flashed him a knowing smirk. He rolled his eyes at her. As if she wasn’t hopelessly chasing after Gem. Besides this was much, much more.
Scar’s chair creaked as he got up, picking up his plate and disposing of it in the sink. He walked and walked until he…
Was directly under the mistletoe.
Grian got up, too, with such intensity that his chair nearly toppled backwards. Yes yes yes this was so going to be his mome—
And just then, Cub decided to walk past Scar. Now, everything would’ve been fine if Joel hadn’t pointed out they were under the mistletoe. Grian sat back down, fuming as they briefly pecked each other on the lips. It should’ve been Grian, not Cub! Ugh, when was he going to get his chance?
“It’s okay, buddy,” Pearl sympathetically patted his shoulder.
It’s not okay! Ever since the events of the life series, they hadn’t had a chance to be together and share a sweet, tender moment with each other. Grian wanted Scar. He wanted Scar now. But how could he just ask him after everything they’d gone through together? He was scared. But if he didn’t speak up, he’d lose Scar. He couldn’t lose Scar either.
He had to do something, though.
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His mood had been low lately. Scar had met literally everyone except him under the mistletoe. Was the universe really against them being together? Had fate really decided that Scar would be kept out of Grian’s grasp? Why couldn’t he fight against something set in stone? Why couldn’t he just have Scar?
Tears built up in his eyes but he blinked them back. Maybe he deserved this. Void, he wasn’t particularly nice to Scar in the life series, was he? Scar deserved better, not someone pathetic and broken like Grian, not someone who could bring him more hurt than good. Sometimes Grian wished he was better, that he was anyone but Grian. He didn’t want to be Grian because Grian was the person whose hands were covered in Scar’s blood.
He sat down in the corner of his room and pressed his knees to his chest, the dam inside of him finally breaking. His whole body trembled as he gasped for breaths between choked sobs. He wrapped his arms around his ribcage. He didn’t hear the door creak open, the sound drowned out by his cries.
“G?”
He looked up and through blurry vision, saw Scar standing in the doorframe. He rubbed his eyes and faked a small smile, “Hey…”
Scar shut the door behind him and walked over to him, kneeling down to be level with him. “You good?” He asked even though he could clearly see the tear tracks etched into his cheeks.
“Yeah…” He nodded slowly but when Scar arched a brow in concern, he couldn’t help it. He grabbed Scar by his sweater and pulled him in close, sobbing in his shoulder and blabbering. “I—I’m so sorry, Scar. I- I’m a t-te-terrible person.”
Strong arms wrapped around his waist, “Hey hey. What are you apologising for?” A hand went under his chin and tilted his head up so that Grian was forced to stare into Scar’s soft, green eyes, full of endless love.
“F— For everything I did to you in the life series.” He whispered, “I killed you. I hurt you. I made you cry. I did so much bad to you.”
“Oh G.” Scar murmured, stroking his cheek, “Everyone messed up in the life series, and everyone has learnt how to forgive and forget.”
“But I can’t forget!” Grian cried out, “I can’t ever forget holding your limp body in my arms. I can’t ever forget the last look on your face. I can’t forget any of it. It haunts my nightmares. I feel like sometimes I’m still in the desert and—” His hands went to his hair and pulled, nails digging into his scalp. He hoped that at the same time, he could pull out every single memory from his brain and burn it to ashes.
“But you’re not. You’re here with me, I’m alive. You’re safe. Nothing bad is ever going to happen again.” He pulled him in closer and pressed many kisses to the crown of his head. “Honestly I thought I had done something wrong because you were so awkward around me and avoiding me.”
“You could’ve never done anything wrong, Scar.” Grian whispered, sagging in his embrace, taking in Scar’s scent: a mix of fresh grass and cookies. Warm. “I’m so sorry, Scar.”
“Stop apologising. Apologise again and see what I’ll do to you.” Scar growled, words empty of any true threat. Grian chuckled and let himself be rocked back and forth, eyes trailing over his room until they settled on a mistletoe directly over them. It was pretty, he thought.
And then realisation struck him.
Oh.
“Uh Scar…”
“Yeah songbird?”
Grian flushed greatly at the nickname. “I— We— Mistletoe.” He buried his head in Scar’s shoulders from embarrassment. Was he seriously being embarrassed on getting what he wanted from the start?
“I guess you know what that means.” Grian could hear the smirk in his voice. Scar cupped his face in his warm, broad hands and leaned in slowly until there was the smallest distance between them, Scar’s breath ghosting over his lips. Impatient, Grian closed the gap between their lips. Oh, how he missed this. Their lips fit together perfectly. His arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed Scar as if he was the only thing that mattered, which he was.
Scar held him as if he was a petal, fragile and delicate. He nipped at his bottom lip and Grian granted him permission to explore his mouth. A chirp bubbled up his throat when their tongues made contact. Scar pulled away, wearing a crooked smirk. “Such pretty noises from such a pretty bird.”
Flustered, Grian buried his head in Scar’s shoulder, trying his best to shield his face. He could Scar giggle above and void, was that a melodious sound.
“I love you, Scar. I love you, I love you, I lov—” He was interrupted by Scar shushing him.
“Give me the chance to reply. I love you too, birdie.” Scar hugged him and held him close, not letting go of him. Not again. Never again. Nothing would come in between them ever again.