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English
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Part 4 of PharMercy Daily Life: Home Edition
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Published:
2016-07-29
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1,350
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1/1
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Background Check

Summary:

In preparation for Hana's adoption, Pharah and Mercy are forced to endure a background check. It takes some work to convince the state they're not dysfunctional homebodies, and the pair are a step closer to gaining a new member of the household.

Work Text:

Nothing is better than a cup of tea in the morning. At least, that's what Fareeha Amari thought; sitting on the couch with a warm mug cupped in her left hand, using the sleeve of her sweater a mitt to protect her fingers. Rain pattered against the living room window. The book she had been working was almost finished, if only she could get another fifteen minutes of uninterrupted bliss.

"Nothing is better than a cup of coffee in the morning!" Angela cheered as she jumped onto the couch next to her wife, setting her head on Pharah’s shoulder and taking a loud sip of her coffee. "Guten morgen, sweetheart~ How's your morning going?" Pharah smiled, tilting her head and letting it rest against Mercy's.

"It's going, babe. What are you up to?" Fareeha creased the page as she turned it, tired of the pages flipping back. Angela snuggled into the crick of Fareeha’s neck, comfortable reading the book from Fareeha's shoulder, also using the sleeves of her sweater as protective mitts as she sipped her morning java. "Did you already feed Dieter?"

The two glanced simultaneously at the rabbit's cage, where a mound of lettuce was occupying half the available space. "Ja." Angela scooted closer, pressing herself against the security guard to lightly poke her in the ribs. "I'd like to have a talk."

The book stiffened in Fareeha's hands as her blood ran cold at the words, her reality falling to pieces around her. oh shit oh shit oh shit is this about the greenhouse she knows what I did doesn't she ooooohhh shit oh shit Fareeha Amari you are in for it now . Pharah mustered a smile the best she could. "What is it, babe?"

"This." Parah felt a hand reach into her pocket, digging around followed by the sound of crumbled paper. A quick squeeze on her thigh before pulling out, Angela held the banged up paper of an adoption form. "This here."

"...How did you know I had that on me."

Dr. Ziegler winked playfully. "Because you've been keeping it on you, trying to reach a conclusion, worried sick. Also I always go through your belongings. Anyway." Angela whipped the paper, straightening it and holding it in front of their faces. "The signing party agrees that.....open adoption.....court will decide legal transfer.........a background check?" Angela snickered nervously, her voice cracking. "Sweetheart, you didn't say anything about getting a background check."

"......Babe, that should be obvious." Fareeha sipped her tea, ignoring the dying sounds coming from her wide-eyed partner. Mercy slowly set down her coffee, exhaling painfully as she took two steps before bolting up the stairs, presumably to her lab. Pharah chuckled to herself, her eyes drifting to the application before shaking her head and focusing on her book.

 

A few hours, some spackle, and a broken doorknob later, Angela came back downstairs, significantly calmer. Fareeha smiled as she scooted to make room on the couch, her novel finally done and closed on the coffee table. "so, how'd it go?"

Mercy laughed triumphantly, flipping her hair like a delusional eighth-grader. "Let the background check come! I have nothing to hide!"  Fareeha had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing.

 

The couple signed and submitted the form, and a few days passed before an inspector arrived at the door. The doorbell rang as the two laid past out on the living room floor, surrounded by food wrappers and cans of beer. Pharah was the first to jolt awake, wiping drool from her chin as she squinted at the front door. Suddenly, realization hit her like a bitchslap to the jaw. "Hey. Hey babe. Hey, wake up. Shit. Babe." Fareeha slapped her partner repeatedly, in a state of panic as she started cleaning up the horrendous mess from the previous night.

"Mhuh..? What is it?" Angela yawned, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

"The inspector is here! Help me clean!" Major Amari threw armfuls of beer cans into the garbage, stricken with urgency. Angela paused, slowly realizing the situation before scrambling upstairs in a flash, ditching her wife. ".......Seriously?"

The doorbell rang again, Fareeha jumped at the sound, scattering the remaining cans and garbage under the sofa before straightening her sweater and opening the door, trying to look decent. "Uh, Hi. Can I help you?"

A tall, brawny, white-haired, bearded muscleman stood in the doorframe, one of his eyes white, dressed stiffly in a suit that barely fit him. He spoke, a thick german accent pouring with each breath. "Hi, Mrs. Amari? I'm from the borough. We received your application and i'm here to inspect your house, nothing serious. Pleased to meet your acquaintance." He held out a hand bigger than Fareeha's face. She shook it, smiling nervously as she ushered him inside.

"Yes, of course. Here's the kitchen, and the living room. The garage is used mainly for storage, so you don't really need to check that." Sweat beaded on her forehead as the man stroked his beard, admiring the homely atmosphere of the den. His eyes fell on Dieter's cage.

"Is that a rabbit?" The lumbering official stepped forward, peering into the cage with an excited look on his face. Dieter sniffled at him with beady black eyes, in the middle of eating a carrot.

"A-ah..Yes. That's our pet, Dieter." Pharah wringed her wrists eagerly, unable to sit still as she prayed for the first time in nine years.

".....I don't suppose I could hold it?" Reinhardt The inspector wiggled his finger at the soft creature, grinning enjoyably.

"After the inspection, of course." A sharp voice cut through the room, emanating from the staircase. Angela stood at the bottom of the stairs, dressed sharply in a suit and tie, a warm smile on her face as she stepped forward. "Hello, I'm Mrs. Ziegler. I'm so pleased to meet you, please, ask me any questions you might have, alright?"

Fareeha stood speechless on the sidelines, shocked as Mercy swept the offical up in her smooth words, discussing the prospects for the child and layout of the house. That vixen. Pharah bit her fingernail, her devil of a wife offering the man a cup of coffee. He didn't really have a choice.

 

"And then the court said he wasn't guilty!" The bodybuilder laughed loudly as he slapped his knee, sitting at the kitchen table with Ziegler as they talked over a pot of coffee.

"Ahaha, you have the best stories. More coffee?" Angela topped off his mug as she brushed some bangs behind her ear. "You know, we recently had some work done on the house, repairing old damage and the like. We're just so excited at the option of finally having a child to give our attention." Angela placed a hand against her cheek, cupping her elbow with the other and looking like a state magistrate.

Son of a bitch. Fareeha clenched her fist in the other room. She's tricking you, man. She couldn't care less about the house!

 

A half hour later the inspector was standing in the doorway, still holding small talk with Angela in a cheerful manner. "I had a great time. I sure you two will be wonderful parents!"

"Oh!" Angela waved her hand, mocking embarrassment. "Don't be silly, we just manage the best we can! You take care now, and don't be a stranger!" The two laughed and Mercy closed the door, leaning against it and loosening her tie. "Fucking hell, I need a drink."

Fareeha had taken a seat at the kitchen table, tapping her fingers and already having placed a bottle of wine on the table. Angela took it graciously, throwing it back. "How come you never act like that when my mother's over?"

"Because." Angela burped as she shot finger pistols at her wife. "Your mother doesn't hold a position of power that I can exploit if I run into legal trouble." Fareeha shook her head in disgrace, counting the days until Hana would be a legal member of their household, and just how much time she had to make their lives decent.

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