Archive of Our Own

'Twas a month before Christmas, and all through in the lair

Donatello invented with his usual flair.

Mikey on his board trying some new sick trick,

And to Leo, Raph was being kind of a dick.

Their training stagnated, and both were annoyed

Which had lead to a quarrel they could not avoid.

The leader was distant, his head in the clouds

Unable to focus as thoughts overcrowd.

His blows landing wide, his kata unrefined

As he turned the past over in his unquiet mind.

He kept to himself sins he fought to atone

Which is why Raph hadn't thought to just leave it alone.

“What has your head lodged so far up your ass?”

Leave it to the brute to be needlessly crass.

Then filled with an anger he couldn't assuage

He lunged toward his brother in fierce, blinding rage.

It was then that the oldest awoke with a start

Unsure how to calm his fast-beating heart.

“Having that dream again?” Donnie came in holding a book and a steaming mug of ginger tea.

Sitting up to take it, the warmth guided Leo back to the present. The faint scent of honey caught his nose as he watched the dregs settle at the bottom. “How did you know?”

“I may not be the best at parsing emotions, but I am good at recognizing patterns.”

Leonardo had been more reserved than usual lately. His training sessions longer and his temper shorter. Snapping and storming off after the youngest suggested they start decorating for the holidays. “I really screwed up, didn't I?”

“You know Mikey, he's resilient. He has more of a handle on how we're feeling than even we do, so he probably knew something was up... but you know how he gets when he's excited about something.” Sitting at the foot of the bed, shell against the wall, Donatello stared at the ceiling. “You know I try not to pry, so, you know, just tell me to back off whenever...”

“What's on your mind, Don?”

“The way you were acting earlier. I don't know what's going on with you, but I haven't wanted to retreat into my shell that badly since we were kids.”

“You and me both. One minute you guys were talking, and the next I'm on that ship again. Then back at the Lap of the Gods. The Battle Nexus. And then -” He gave his brother a meaningful look before shaking his head.

Donnie nodded – even though he couldn't remember anything about his time spent in containment, he knew it put his family through hell. “Did you try those exercises I told you about?”

“Yeah, and you saw how well that turned out. Do you think I should apologize?”

“It's likely he already knows how sorry you are, but I suppose it never hurts to hear it anyway.”

Laying back down and setting the mug on the floor, Leo curled up into the fetal position. “Hey, Don? Do you think you could -” He paused, pulling the blanket over his head.

“Yeah?”

“Never mind. It's stupid.”

“I doubt that.”

“Do you think you could read some of your book to me? To help me get back to sleep.”

Donnie thumbed at the bit of torn drafting paper marking his page. “I'm not sure whether I should be proud or offended that you want to use Stephen Hawking as a bedtime story.”

“See, I told you it was stupid.”

“It isn't stupid. I just didn't think you would want to hear me rattle on about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Ever.”

“Couldn't hurt. I'm starting to think my usual nighttime reading might be part of the problem.”

Opening the book to where he had left off, Donnie began to read.

*****

Raph stepped away from his heavy bag after punching yet another hole in it, sand pooling at his feet as he stared down the tunnel toward Leo's room. The eldest had gone to bed hours ago, after telling Mikey off for not taking training seriously.

Except Mikey never took anything seriously, and that worked for him. They all knew and accepted that. And this had been long after training had ended for the day; they were watching old reruns on Channel 6 when it happened.

The youngest's eyes lit up the moment the anthropomorphic candies appeared on screen to leave a bowl of M&Ms out for Santa – a practice Donnie continually reminded his brothers was highly suspect – and he quoted the commercial word-for-word, even the voice-over the newest version lacked. Then he asked the question that should have had the rest of them equally excited.

“What are we doing for Christmas?”

Leo listened quietly as they started talking about who to invite and how to get a live tree into the sewers. And decorations – had they found them when they went back to salvage what they could from their old home? No one realized he wasn't listening anymore until Klunk jumped up into his lap with a quiet chirp.

Conversation faded when they noticed he had gone completely still, breathing almost mechanical. His eyes were blank, even as they flitted around the room like he was looking for something. Donnie had been about to suggest leaving Leo be when Mikey started snapping his fingers in his face.

The sound that came out of him in response was one they hadn't heard since they learned to speak, so long ago they couldn't readily place its meaning. It wasn't anger – Raph made that sound weekly – but it was just as primal.

“Dude, you good?”

What happened next was a lecture that caught everyone else by surprise. A lecture that amounted to “you don't need Christmas, you need training, now get your ass back in the dōjō”. A lecture that even Raph tried to shield Mikey from before pissing Leo off so much that he left without another word.

*****

“Hey, Mikey, what the hell do you think's goin' on with Leo? Haven't seen him that worked up in a while.”

More than a bit distracted by his newest skating game, he hadn't realized Raph was there until he spoke. “Didn't we already talk about this?”

“Seein' as how he all but ripped your head off back there, I'm thinkin' we should talk about it again.” He waved his hand in front of the screen when he got no response, laughing when Mikey completely wiped out.

“Dude, not cool.” He tossed the controller onto the sofa, rolling his eyes. “So, what couldn't wait until after I finished that mission?”

“You aren't concerned that Leo's got a shorter fuse than me these days?”

“Bro's the glue that holds us together – he's serious all the time so we don't have to be. Probably takes a lot out of him.”

Raph shook his head. “Bein' serious doesn't normally include startin' fights over tinsel, Mikey.”

“I mean, I was being super annoying.”

“You're always super annoying. I don't think that's it.”

“Okay, genius, what do you think it is?”

As if summoned, Donatello came to them with the answer. “Fear.”

“Is your shell cracked? He didn't sound scared to me.”

Mikey stood beside Raph, arms crossed. “Uh-uh.”

“I was just talking to him, and I gained some valuable insight.”

“Care to share with the rest of the class, bro?”

“About that...” Rubbing the back of his head, he looked at his brothers sheepishly. “I have a pretty good idea of what he's going through, and it really isn't my place to talk about it. If Leo wants us to know, he'll tell us when he'd ready.”

Raph jabbed his thumb toward his youngest brother with a scoff. “That's great, Don, but seein' as how he looked like he wanted to drag this one into a steel cage, I think we're past that.”

“Fine.” Sighing, he sat down and waited for them to do the same. “Just know this is a pretty massive breach of trust and, if it were me, one that would be pretty difficult to forgive.”

“I'm sure he'll get over it.”

The look on Don's face had Mikey rethinking their approach. “Maybe he's right? We should let Leo come to us.”

“No way in hell. We shouldn't be walkin' on eggshells, not knowin' what's gonna set him off.” Raph tried to tone down the frustration in his voice. “Look, I'm all for doin' anything we can to help him, but I'll be damned if I gotta watch him beat the shit outta you guys before he realizes he needs help.”

Michelangelo looked horrified. “Leo wouldn't do that.”

“Yeah? Tell that to Master Splinter.”

“But he did all that special training, right? Wasn't that supposed to fix it?”

Donatello wrung his hands together. “Well, yes. That was the idea, anyway. But unfortunately, while he was away, something happened that I believe may have exacerbated the issue. He had to cut his time with The Ancient One short -”

“So? We cut training short all the time thanks to this knucklehead.” Raph just missed Mikey sticking his tongue out in response.

“Do you remember why he had to rush back?” Recalling the Foot chase that led to the destruction of some of his finest work, Donnie watched his brother's faces contort as they presumably did the same. “Leo started acting weird because of what happened on that starship. If the Utrom hadn't intervened...”

“We knew what was up.”

“Yeah, we told him that.”

“He knows. But when we all survived, he was forced to face everything that came with the decision he made. He became angry, and not just with himself. With all of the events that led to that moment – that could lead to another just like it. When he took that anger out on us, that's when he was sent away.” Hands clenched in his lap, nails digging into his palms, Donnie continued. “And then he came back to find our home destroyed and all of us beaten and scattered...”

“Okay, we get it. So what the hell happened tonight? Why'd he freak out on Mikey?”

“Unfortunately, the brain can be remarkably irrational. Despite our best efforts, we can sometimes be brought back to a traumatic experience because of seemingly unrelated thoughts or sensory inputs.”

“Don, you just said 'we'. Are you -”

“Nope, not doing that right now. This is about Leo.”

Mikey's eyes narrowed into his 'don't think you're getting off the hook' face. “So, what do we do?”

“We wait until Leo -”

“No, we don't wait. I meant what I said before. Family meeting, rooftop of Antonio's, after patrol tonight.”

“Fine. But I'm telling him – I'm not letting him walk into an ambush.”

*****

A too quiet knock on his bedroom door was enough to pull Leo out of his fragile meditation. His legs shook, half asleep from hours spent holding the Lotus pose, as he stood to answer it. “What do you need, Don?”

“I think we should talk.”

“Sure. Come on in.” Lacking any actual seating in his room, he returned to his position on the floor and motioned for his brother to do the same. “What's up? You seem tense.”

“As much as I want you to promise you won't get mad, I'm not sure that's possible. So I ask that you try to hear me out before you do.”

“Okay?”

“I overheard Raph and Mikey talking after you went back to sleep. They were trying to figure out what happened, and why you...” Donatello started picking at the ends of his belt – a habit he'd picked up after their final altercation with Drako – pulling at the loose, fraying threads.

“Why I reacted the way I did. I suppose you told them.”

“Enough to give them the gist of it, but I tried to avoid going into detail – that's for you to tell them when you're ready. I know I shouldn't have said anything, but -”

“You're all concerned, rightfully so. So, what happens now?”

“That's actually why I'm here. Raph is convinced we don't have time to wait until you're ready, so he's staging an intervention. After patrol tonight.”

“I've actually been meditating on how to talk to you all for a while now. Or, at least, trying to. I haven't really been able to focus.” Leaning forward, he placed a hand on his brother's knee. “But it seems the answer I was looking for found me anyway.”

“You aren't upset?”

“Nowhere near as upset as I would have been if you had just let me walk into whatever it is Raph has planned.” When he saw the look of concern on Donnie's face, he smiled. “We're okay. You did what you thought you needed to do.”

*****

After training that day, Leonardo led his brothers to the kitchen for tea. He took down the set of yunomi he brought back from Japan and set the table while Mikey grabbed their favorite post-workout snacks. Filling each cup in turn, he stopped at Raphael. “I know about tonight.”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“You planned to blindside me. Make me talk about what's going on, right?” He placed the kettle down at the center of the table and took his seat. “Why wait? You're right.”

Raph almost dropped his teacup. “Come again?”

“I said 'you're right'. I haven't been myself, and it's time you knew why.” Taking a sip of his tea, he winced as it scalded his tongue. “I know Donnie told you a bit already, and you probably have questions, so let's start there.”

Through a mouthful of jelly beans, Mikey mumbled, “Christmas wasn't really the problem, was it?”

“No, it wasn't. One of you mentioned the old lair, and I... I just...”

Donnie rested a hand over his brother's wrist. “It's okay. Take your time.”

“No, I've put this off for too long already.” He waited for the words to come to him, but could only manage a growl of frustration. “Why is this so hard?”

“When something is too much to deal with, we sort of... store it away until it's able to be processed, which can make it difficult to talk about. It's an imperfect solution, but it's the brain's way of protecting you.”

“I don't care about protecting myself. Everything I've done is to protect all of you... and it means nothing if you feel like you need to protect each other from me.”

“Leo, nothin's changed since the night Shredhead and his goons almost dropped a warehouse on us. We knew the score then, and we know it now.”

“Yeah. Even I, the great Battle Nexus Champion, almost died, like, five times.”

“Can it, shell-fer-brains.”

“Guys, this isn't helping.”

“Enough!” Leo's fists slammed against the table, startling his brothers. “Do you want to know what changed, Raph? I made a call. I told you we had to lay down our lives to stop Shredder. If we... if you had all died, it would have been a direct result of orders I gave. And you all agreed, you just accepted it.”

“It was the only option we had.”

“Obviously not, Don. We're all here now, aren't we? And that's what keeps going through my head. 'What did I miss? What could have gone differently?'” Taking a deep breath, he exhaled with a sob. “'How do I save you?' Everything I've done since we came back from that nightmare, I've done trying to answer that question.”

Raph and Mikey sat, stunned. Neither knew how to respond to this much emotion from their normally stoic brother. And neither noticed Donnie's reaction until Leo had finally calmed down enough to speak again.

“Don? You okay?”

He looked as though he had seen a ghost, and relief washed over his features as he looked around the table. “What? Yeah, I'm fine.”

“No, you're not, bro.”

“Mikey's right. You got the same look on your face -”

“I said I'm fine. We're here to help Leo, so let's help Leo.”

“Okay... but we're talking about this later, young man.”

“Michelangelo. Drop it.” Helping himself to more tea, Leonardo held the warm cup in his hands. “I'm sure you all know why I was sent to study with the Ancient One.”

“Because you tried to turn Sensei into Swiss cheese?”

Raph elbowed Mikey in the plastron.

“... Yes. Another thing I'll never be able to properly atone for.” He stared into his teacup. “While I was away, Karai sought her revenge. I would never have known if the Ancient One hadn't sensed it. I could have come back to something much worse.”

“But you didn't. We all got away. You found us and brought us back together again.”

“Which I wouldn't have had to do if I wasn't so lost in my own head. When I came home, Sensei looked me in the eyes and told me how grateful he was to finally have his son back. But it wasn't true. When we were brought before the Tribunal, I was filled with all the same doubts and fears as before. Their training helped us unlock greater potential, but also brought greater threats.”

“Don't know if ya noticed, Leo, but we took 'em all out.”

“Yeah, bro. We're living in a post-Shredder world now.”

“As I recall, Mikey. This is the third time you've made that proclamation, and it has yet to really stick.”

“Third time's the charm?”

“Don's right. Karai is still out there. What's to stop her from coming after us again?”

“Pretty sure she's still too busy makin' goo-goo eyes at that Chaplin guy.” Raph kicked his feet up on the table, almost knocking over his cup. “But so what if she does? We'll be ready – Brainiac's got this place locked up tight – ain't nobody gettin' in or out unless we want 'em to.”

“And I've been able to make massive improvements to the Battle Shell, Tunneler, and the Turtle Taxi with all the spare time we've had lately. I even found a way to increase the precision of the Shell Cells' locator beacons.”

Leonardo pressed his palms against his eyes. “What if it isn't enough? What if it's never enough?”

“Then we keep goin'. We keep fightin'. Together.”

The visible relief on Leo's face when he finally realized he didn't need to do this alone offered more comfort than Donnie thought it would.

Staring awkwardly around the table, the youngest finished off the last of his candy. “So, does that mean we're done here, or...?”

He was met with a flat stare in triplicate.

“What? Raph said everything I was gonna say.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mikey, I think we're done here. Unless you have any other questions?”

“Just one: can we still stop at Antonio's later?”

*****

After another uneventful patrol, they made their way to April's – entering through the fire escape in case whatever was left of the Foot was still watching the antique store. On the kitchen counter, they found a stack of pizza boxes, paper plates, and a note:

In the shower. Drinks are in the fridge, along with something special for Don.

Ignoring the waggling brows from the peanut gallery, Donatello made a beeline for the coffee station. Their friend had been kind enough to brew a pot – it had become something of a ritual for him over the years, drinking a cup or two while he collected his thoughts after a long day. Watching the sugar dissolve as he poured the coffee was part of it, a bit of mindfulness to help eliminate distraction. He had even managed to almost completely tune Mikey out as he crossed the room to sit beneath the windows, cradling the mug in both hands.

While the others waited for April to get out of the shower, Leo and Raph talked strategy while the youngest tried to break his record for number of pizza slices he could fit into his mouth at once – his current best was four-and-a-half. She emerged from the bathroom just in time to watch not-quite-five slices return to their box a little worse for wear.

“Gross. That one's yours.” She wrapped a towel around her hair, deciding against blow-drying when she'd heard them climb through the window. “Quiet night, I hope.”

Opening one of the still-untouched pizzas, Leo offered her a plate. “The Purple Dragons are still trying to stay relevant, so we've been keeping a close eye on Hun. With the city still on high alert, it seems like they've gone back to their roots – break-ins and protection rackets mostly.”

“But don't worry, April. They aren't stupid enough to try that here.”

“That reminds me. Still no surveillance on the shop, right?”

“None that I've noticed.” She went to the fridge to grab a soda, and spotted the take-out container still on the top shelf. “Did Don not see my note?”

“I did, but I wanted to have my coffee first.” Rejoining the group, Donnie took the box from her and sat down at the table. He opened it to find a row of albacore nigiri and a yuzu salmon roll. “What's the occasion?”

“Oh, a little turtle told me you could use a pick-me-up.” She caught Leo's glare and responded by sticking out her tongue. “Hope I chose well.”

“It looks delicious.” Starting with the roll, he had barely swallowed before offering her a piece. “You need to try this. The citrus cuts through the spice and really compliments the variety of other flavors.”

“I don't know how you can eat that crap.”

“Sushi is an art form.” Dipping a piece of tuna in soy sauce, he held it up for a closer look. “It's been said that a truly great chef can create nigirizushi and every grain of rice will face the same direction.”

Raph rolled his eyes. “What good is that?”

“Well, I suppose there isn't much functional use to it. But isn't it impressive when someone exhibits that level of mastery in their craft?”

“I hadn't realized just how much could go into topping rice with raw fish.”

“Well, Honor Boy's definitely impressed. Who's surprised?”

“Okay, Raph, here's a more practical application: the omega-3s found in many different types of fish help support my big brain. Which, more often than not, helps keep your big muscles and Mikey's big mouth out of trouble.”

“Hey!” The youngest was currently sitting on the sofa, scooping up his pile of half-chewed pizza with a serving spoon. “I resemble that remark.”

“What, no jab at our fearless leader?”

“C'mon, bro. I think he's been through enough already. Right, Don?” He looked across the room to see his brother staring blankly out the window. “Don?”

Leo held out a hand when Mikey started to move. “Leave him be.”

“No can do. This is the second time he's spaced out today.”

“He's got a point. What if this happens out there? If there's somethin' goin' on, we need to know.” When Raph stepped forward, he was blocked by April. “What gives?”

“He'll tell you when -”

“When he's ready? I swear, if I hear that one more freakin' time.”

“You guys wanna force me to talk, fine – I never would have said anything otherwise – but Don? He opens up to you all the time. If he hasn't come to you with this, don't you think there's a good reason?”

“Not good enough. What was the point of all that touchy-feely shit if we're just gonna keep hidin' things?” He chucked his sai toward the door, where it thankfully hit a corkboard before falling to the floor. “Screw this. I'm leavin'.”

“No. Please not that.”

Raphael stopped in his tracks, turning to see genuine fear as his little brother reached out to him. “Donnie?”

“Stay. Please?”

“Yeah, Don. Whatever you need.” Rushing back, he pulled Donatello into a protective hug. “I gotcha. I ain't goin' anywhere.” He looked back at Leo, who just shrugged, before turning to April.

She, noticeably, did not. “Am I making tea or cocoa?”

“Don prefers cocoa.”

“Mikey, come help me?” She took out her largest pot and poured in most of a gallon of milk. As she stirred, he broke apart every chocolate bar he could find. “Shoot, that's not enough.” Handing him the spoon, she turned her baking cabinet inside out looking for cocoa powder and cinnamon.

Leo busied himself by taking down the oversized mugs April kept for them, and checking the fridge for anything that might look promising as toppings – managing to find a mostly-empty jar of cherries and half a can of whipped cream buried in the back. “Do you know how old this is?”

She tried her best not to look mortified when she mumbled something about Casey having bought it last Valentine's Day.

Vowing to ask his friend absolutely nothing ever again, he tossed the can into the trash. The cherries still seemed fine, so he put one into each mug – two into Donnie's.

By the time the cocoa was poured and in front of them, the mood in the room was almost back to normal. Raph was still wrapped around Donatello like a shield, and Mikey had been hugging his legs hard enough to cut off circulation, but the worst seemed to be over.

“Are you ready to talk, bro?”

All Donnie could do was shrug.

“How about we drink our cocoa, and -” Leo used a broom handle to pry Mikey off. “Give him some space. Okay?”

Everyone nodded. Draining his mug in one go, the youngest tipped the fruit at the bottom into Donnie's as he panted his way back to a more comfortable mouth temperature. Raph followed suit after waiting for his to cool.

Leo sipped his more slowly as he let the warmth center him, keeping his own demons at bay as he prepared to fight his brother's. In the end he left the cherry at the bottom of his own mug, for Don to accept if he chose.

To give them their space, April brought hers into her bedroom. She had heard this story before, shortly after Leo had been sent away, when the nightmares had gotten too bad and Don worried his brother might never come home.

“Feelin' better?”

“I think so.” Donnie had only taken a small sip of his cocoa, opting instead to stare into the wisps of steam, but even that much helped immensely. “I'm sorry for worrying you all.”

“The hell are you apologizin' for? It's my fault.”

“It really isn't.”

“Don. When I said I was gonna leave -” Raph's head fell into his hands. “Bro, I ain't heard ya that scared since we were little. I caused that.”

“No, it's...” Resting a hand on his brother's shoulder, he sighed. “I really didn't want to talk about this. It's irrational, it's a waste of energy... It's stupid.”

Leo met his gaze and smirked. “I doubt that.”

With an indignant huff, Donnie continued. “It's been years. It wasn't even real. I came back, you're all here, we're all together, everything's FINE.” His fist hit the table at the same time as a tear, and this time it was Mikey who pulled him into a hug.

And he put every bit of healing he could into that hug. Finally, after all these years, understanding the crushing weight of “...you're young, and alive” – words he had brushed off as nonsense. “Dude, where did he send you?”

“What are you talking about, Mikey?”

“Drako? His whole revenge thing?”

“Yeah, we talked about it when we got back home, remember? I got sucked into that whole 'Planet Racers' thing.”

“I got sent to that really rad dimension where we were all superheroes. Bummer that dad was a villain, though.”

“And by some stroke of luck, I was reunited with Usagi. But I don't get -” Realization hit, and Leo felt shame coil in his stomach. “Don never told us where he ended up.”

“And if I had it my way, I wouldn't be telling you now.”

“No one's gonna make you.” Raph even looked like he might start crying.

“But we're here, bro. If you ever change your mind.”

They ended up crashing at April's place. Raph carried Donnie to the couch while Leo asked for blankets and – after Mikey tucked him in – they all sat sentry until he fell asleep. Waking just before sunrise, stiff from a night spent using each other as pillows, they apologized for overstaying their welcome and returned to the lair.

*****

Leo found Donatello in the lab tending to plant cultivars – yet another thing that coincided with their transdimensional misadventures. How many more had he missed? He leaned in to smell one of the small, white flowers and could have kicked himself when the subsequent sneeze almost sent his brother airborne.

Donnie took out a notepad and scribbled 'failure' next to M. chamomilla var. dux, atpt 6. “Hey, Leo.”

“How'd you know?”

“You're the only one of us with a ragweed allergy. Chamomile can cause a similar response.”

“So... you're growing it?”

Pausing as he was about to snip another sprig of lavender , Donatello nodded. “Do you remember when you started trying different herbal teas after... well, you had a particularly bad reaction to chamomile. Which disappointed you, because you said it helped you get the best sleep you'd had in weeks. I've been working on cultivating a hypoallergenic flower ever since.” He rubbed the back of his head. “As you can probably tell, I haven't gotten it quite right yet.”

“You didn't have to -”

“It wasn't really any trouble. I had already started my garden by then – in fact, that's where many of your herbs came from.” Tying a bundle of budding stems together, he hung them to dry. “I'd read somewhere that rhodiola could help with... which led me down the rabbit hole of natural remedies. So much of what I read seemed like conjecture and coincidence, but at that point, I hadn't really slept in months. I was willing to try anything. So, I turned it into an experiment – one which you may have become an unknowing participant in.”

“Donnie, what have I told you about conducting turtle trials?

“That consent is necessary to achieve ethical results. Does it help that I tested each plant on myself to ensure safety before expanding my subject pool? And since cross-contamination is a concern due to your allergies, I've done everything possible to ensure minimal exposure between species. I even use separate tools.”

The responding flat stare spoke volumes.

“I'm sorry, Leo. I really was trying to help.”

“I know. I appreciate it, really.” He nudged his brother's shoulder. “But maybe tell me next time.”

“Will do.” As they walked through the rows of plants, he excitedly talked about growing each one as Leo tried desperately to follow. Stopping at a vine covered in flowers comprised of purple spiraling petals, Donatello picked up a pair of pruning shears and started snipping a few in varying stages of bloom.

“What's this one?”

“Passiflora incarnata – the purple passionflower. This is one of the few plants I've been able to find a study on, though the results are far from conclusive. It seems as though something about its flowers may offer anxiolytic effects, but they couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. I've been trying to replicate their results.” Seemingly satisfied with his collection, he laid out the blossoms in a tray. “Though it should be noted that one of the nine scientists involved was an employee of the company who supplied extracts for testing.”

“Does that happen often?”

“More often than I'd like.” He headed toward one of the many workstations that littered the lab space, and sat down to record the afternoon's data. “Looks like it's back to square one with the chamomile cultivar. I was so sure I had it this time.”

“I would tell you not to let it get to you, but I know you.” Looking at the computer screen, Leo was immediately overwhelmed by his brother's research notes. “Not that I have any idea what any of this means, but do you think there's a way I can help.”

Donnie thought for a moment, then smiled. “That sneeze was fairly helpful. Do you think you could be available for further exposure tests?”

“Yeah, I could probably do that.”

Before they could finish working out the details, Mikey ran into the lab ringing a comically-large golden handbell and singing out of tune. “On the first day of Christmas, my brothers gave to me the gift of knowing what the shell we're doing for Christmas. On the -”

Leo just stared for a minute before turning back toward the desk. “You know, Don, I think he wants to talk about Christmas.”

“Not sure what gave it away. Okay, Mikey, we'll be right there.”

“And maybe lose the bell before Raph hears you.”

When the hothead bellowed his name, the youngest looked over his shoulder with a smirk. “Too late.”

*****

More rapid than shuriken, Christmas quickly approached

Until they had, all told, two weeks at the most.

A live tree, decorations, dinner menu and guests,

Delegation of chores, and all of the rest.

So, as Mikey curled up to protect from Raph's fists,

Donatello got started on making the list.

“Did ya really need to include 'celebrate', Brainiac? Ain't that kinda the whole point?”

“Excuse me for being thorough.”

“Already talked to April – she and Casey can get us a tree, and decorations if we need 'em.” Mikey vaulted over the back of the sofa and stole the slip of paper out of Donnie's hand. “Dude, what the heck is a White Elephant?”

“A type of gift exchange in which people supply absurd gifts that no one would want. I'm not entirely certain it's supposed to be fun, but it does seem popular. Other names apparently include 'Machiavellian Christmas' and 'Snatchy Christmas Rat'.”

“I think we should maybe avoid holiday games that invoke supporters of selfishness and tyrany.”

“I'm pretty sure it's referring more to the so-called Dark Triad personality trait marked by a manipulative nature and a focus on... egoism that disallows for empathy toward others.”

Leo waited for things to click into place, simply nodding when Donatello eventually agreed with him. “Maybe we should stick with Secret Santa? Unless it's only going to be the seven of us.”

“I say the more the merrier!” Looking around the room at his brothers, Mikey toned down his enthusiasm. “Unless you guys wanna keep things small. Totally cool either way.”

“Who did you have in mind?”

“It would be nice to see Tora and the others – and I bet Raph wouldn't mind seeing Joi again.”

“Cram it.”

“Aww, c'mon, Raphie. We all know you miss your girlfriend.”

“She ain't my girlfriend. I respect her as a fighter is all.” The way his eyes shifted to the floor definitely told a different story.

“Master Splinter will probably want to invite the Daimyō... Don, do you think you would be okay seeing Ue right now?”

“As much as I want to say yes, I really can't be certain. Logically I know he isn't a threat – he doesn't even remember what happened – but logic doesn't really mean very much here.”

Raph chuckled grimly. “Never thought I'd hear ya say that.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, those are the facts.” A tidy pile of frayed brown fibers had accumulated on the coffee table. “Do you think we could come back to this later?”

“Sure thing, Don. What else ya got?”

“Does anyone have any ideas for what dinner should be?”

“Pizza!”

“I meant Christmas dinner, Mikey.”

“So did I.”

Leo cleared his throat. “Maybe we could go traditional Japanese? I was... thinking that it might help to ground me a bit if I had a few reminders of my time with the Ancient One.”

“I'm sure we could incorporate a dish or two.” Donnie scribbled a note on the backside of the list. “I'll do some research when we're done here to find out what's typically served. We should probably go with a more classic American fare for the majority of the meal, though.”

“Of course. Raph, is there anything you want to add?”

“Nah, I'm fine as long as I get mashed potatoes.”

*****

This couldn't be right. Donatello had spent hours scouring the internet – visiting travel pages, blogs, even web forums – and everything led him to the same place. A traditional Christmas dinner in Japan, since 1974, was chicken. Specifically of the Kentucky Fried variety.

“Need any help, bro?”

“Hey, Mikey. You don't, by chance, feel confident about preparing Japanese food, do you?”

“Dude, I don't feel confident cooking mac and cheese. But I'll give it a shot.” He rolled a chair over from another workstation and sat down. “So, what are we lookin' at?”

“I don't really know yet. Since Christmas was never really a big deal in Japan until relatively recently, marketing filled the void. And I'm pretty sure fried chicken isn't what Leo had in mind.”

“That article there mentions sake. Ooh, and cake!”

“Could work for dessert, but we need something else.”

“What about comfort foods? Maybe we can find something that isn't too difficult.” Stealing the mouse, Michelangelo clicked a random link before pointing at the screen. “How does this sound?”

“Nikujaga... meat and potatoes should be simple enough. Save the recipe.”

“Can do.” A few more clicks. “Hey, this looks good, too – pretty sure I could handle roasting sweet potatoes.”

“Okay, maybe one more thing?” Wresting back control after seeing 'Japanese Holiday Recipes', Donnie scrolled down the new page. “Sekihan... says it's popular for celebrations.”

“Sure. Beans kinda suck to make, but I'll give it a try.”

“That was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Thanks, Mikey.”

“No prob, bro!” Taking one last look at the screen, his eyes lit up.

Recognizing the look of impending mischief, Donatello sighed. “What'd you find?”

He pointed to a picture of a small, pickled fruit. “Wanna prank Raph?”

*****

“Hey, Don, you have a minute?”

Sliding the creeper out from under the Battle Shell, he pulled the drain pan out after him. “Sure, what's up?”

“Everything alright?”

“Just some routine maintenance. What do you need?”

Leo considered beating around the bush a bit longer, but there wasn't really time for that. “Sensei invited the Daimyō to spend Christmas with him.”

“I didn't think he knew what our plans were. We don't even know our plans.”

“He didn't. The Daimyō decided to step away from the Battle Nexus to spend time with his son after the incident with Kluh, but he misses being around people... closer to his own age.” The two shared a laugh before he continued. “He also wondered if we might be able to assist with Ue's training.”

“I guess that makes sense. He's no longer at an age where he would reasonably be able to do it all himself.”

“The way Sensei was talking about it, there seemed to be more to it than that. A heavy emphasis on honor.”

“Wouldn't that be more your thing, Leo?”

“What are you talking about? You're one of the most honorable people I know.” His gaze landed on the moving van's hidden turrets. “Most of the time.”

The only response was a wry chuckle.

“What's on your mind, Don?”

“Not really sure how I feel about being a part of teaching the Ultimate Ninja to fight again.”

“I would argue that means it's more important that it be done in the right way. We can teach him the values necessary to keep to a better path. Master Splinter also believes he may benefit from the foundations of respect and humility inherent to Bōjutsu.”

Donatello nodded a bit robotically as he began to put his tools away. “I see.”

“If you don't feel comfortable, I could handle it. Pretty sure I remember enough from our interdisciplinary training as kids.”

“Huh? Yeah, sure.” Washing the grease from his forearms, he scrubbed a bit too aggressively. “Tell the others I'll be back later – I need to go for a walk.”

“Mikey was just about to call a family meeting to finalize Christmas dinner plans.”

“I... can't right now. Whoever you guys want to invite is fine, and I'll start on my part of the chores when I get home.” He grabbed his Shell Cell off the tool box and rushed out.

By the time everything registered, all Leo could do was say “later, Don” to the empty, echoing garage.

*****

“I would love to come, Donatello. But I do not think it is a good idea. While my episodes are much fewer in number these days, there will be too many people there. I would not be able to forgive myself if I hurt someone.”

The turtle's face fell and his hands wrung tighter. “I understand. Maybe once everyone leaves you could come by for some leftovers?”

“I would like that.”

The soothing yet somber melody of a classical sonata kept the silence at bay as Donnie searched for the words to ask the question that had been on his mind since he'd arrived. “LH?”

“Yes, my friend.”

“How do you -” He sighed, still not ready to have the conversation, but needing the reassurance he thought might come with the answer. “How do you deal with knowing there will be moments you aren't yourself?”

The crocodile's face softened. “It has taken time, but with the help of you and your brothers, I have learned those moments do not define me.”

“Of course they don't. Everything you went through, I'd be surprised if you had made it out without any scars.”

“Has something happened? Do you think -?”

It wasn't difficult to guess where his friend's mind had gone. “No, it isn't that. I'll admit there are nights I lay awake and wonder – that's usually when the nightmares are the worst... but so far it's just that, speculation and bad dreams.”

“Is there something you wish to talk about?”

“No... yes? I don't know. I... went through something a while back. Logically I know it wasn't real, at least not in the sense that so many other things I've been through are, but it felt real. And it still feels real, every time something forces me to confront it.”

Leatherhead nodded, understanding all too well. “It can be frightening, losing yourself to something beyond your control. Especially if doing so can lead to... devastating results.” He fussed with the chipped rim of his teacup “But it can help to know there is someone else who understands. I think, when you are ready, you should also speak to your brothers about what troubles you.”

“I was afraid you'd say that. What if I'm never ready?”

“In an ideal world, that would be enough. You would continue as you are, content in the life you have carved out for yourself. But the world is far from ideal – sometimes we need to take a leap, even if we fear the fall.”

Donatello nodded, already steeling himself for what he knew he had to do, and hoped his brothers were ready to catch him.

*****

“You're back just in time, we ordered pizza.”

“Do you think we could, maybe, talk first?”

His brother's caginess and the constant shifting of his gaze set Leo on edge. “Sure, Don. Just us, or?”

“Given the choice, I would rather only say all of this once. But...” He looked toward his feet, almost ashamed. “I don't think I can tell Sensei yet.”

Leonardo nodded. “Mikey? Raph? Kitchen.”

Both made to protest until they saw Donnie. They followed without a word, the youngest splitting off briefly to remove a small pouch from the bin where he kept his gaming controllers.

When Raphael moved to the coffee pot, Leo shook his head. “There's some dried lavender in with my other teas.”

Taking down an ornate wooden box, he opened it to find several sections filled with small flower buds. “Little help?”

“The purple ones.” Trying his best to hold his brother's attention so he wouldn't bolt, both jumped when Mikey dumped out the contents of his bag – a small drawstring pouch clanged against the table as a red plastic egg rolled into Leo's elbow and the rest of the items fell with a clatter.

After watching for a moment, he sifted through the pile and pulled out a large pebble – one with a slight depression in the middle, roughly the size of his thumb. He passed it to Donnie, who looked confused. “Worry stone. Supposed to help keep you grounded.”

All three of his brothers looked at him as though he'd grown an extra head.

“What? You guys aren't the only ones who've been through shit.” Forcing the smile back to his face, he continued. “That thing has never worked for me, but it might be just what he needs.”

“Thanks, Mikey.” Taking the stone, Donatello turned it over in his hand. There was nothing truly special about it, just an interestingly-shaped rock one might find on just about any beach in New York. Somehow, that alone was comforting. Finding the concave curve with the pad of his thumb, he focused on the smoothness of the wave-tumbled quartz.

When Raphael had finished preparing the tea and joined his brothers at the table, Leo finally spoke again. “Think you're ready, Don?”

“No. But I don't think I'll ever be, and this isn't going away. In fact, it seems to be getting worse.”

“We're here for ya, bro.”

“Take all the time you need.” The eldest's hand rested on Donnie's shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

Raph followed his lead. “We ain't goin' nowhere.”

Closing his eyes with a sigh, Donatello's grip on the stone tightened. “As you've all figured out by now, I've been keeping something from you. When Drako separated us, I... I had a really bad time.”

“No kiddin'.”

“I was sent to an alternate future. One where Shredder, Ch'rell, had managed to conquer the entirety of Earth.” Pausing to take a sip of tea, he didn't have the energy to hide the grimace as the bitterness hit his tongue. “After arriving to find our home completely abandoned, Mikey saved me from a Foot attack.”

“Of course he did. Bet he kicked major shell, too!”

“Michelangelo...”

“He's not wrong. He probably had to spend a lot of time training after you and Raph left.”

“Wait, left?”

“Yeah. For reasons I was never able to figure out, their Donatello disappeared when he was around the age I was then. Shortly after, their Splinter died protecting them. It seems the two of you had a falling out not too long after that and went your separate ways. You all worked together well enough over the years, trying to stop Shredder, but I'm not sure you ever stayed together after that.”

The smile fell from the youngest's face again as he looked around the table.

“Ain't never gonna happen.”

“Mikey eventually brought me to meet with April – she had formed a small resistance team, and would call you in when she needed you. I asked what resources she had available and came up with a plan.”

“That's our Don. No problem he can't think his way out of.”

He rubbed at the stone in his hand so hard his skin burned before responding at barely a whisper. “The three of you died, and there was nothing I could do. In the end, Shredder was destroyed... but, in that moment, it cost me everything.” At that point, he couldn't hold back the tears if he tried.

Neither could his brothers.

“Never. Gonna. Happen.”

“As long as we have anything to say about it.”

“Yeah, bro. Hate to say it, but you're stuck with us.”

The four shared a hug that, at any other time, one of them would have complained had gone on way too long. None of them had wanted to be the first to let go.

But Mikey just couldn't resist the call of pepperoni.

They left the kitchen to find April and Casey with pizza and a stack of rented movies and – after bundling Donnie in blankets with two green pepper slices – huddled together to watch some Christmas classics.

*****

The guests were invited, and the lair was clean,

They hung decorations, all silver and green

April and Casey came through with the tree,

Which the Turtles covered in tinsel with childish glee.

The time had now come to start drawing the names

For a fifteen person Secret Santa Claus game.

Well, not-so-secret, since many lived far away,

So a ten minute name-draw would waste their whole day.

Which meant that the Turtles had to draw for their guests,

But how should they do it? Which way would be best?

What could they do so that nothing felt forced?

Write an RNG computer program, of course!

And the reason they couldn't just draw from a hat?

Mikey saying, and I quote, “What's the fun in that?”

“You're sure this is going to work?”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, guys. Really.” Donnie entered a few more keystrokes before compiling... and his generator entered an endless loop. Again. “Give me a minute, I probably just forgot a semicolon somewhere.”

“Don.” Pulling a dusty old box out from under the workbench and searching through the sea of painted plastic, Leo finally found a pair of 20-sided dice. “We can just use these.”

“Fine. I'm probably not in the best place for this anyway.” Picking up one of the miniatures he had modified himself – a short, stocky gnome-like creature whose flute had long ago been traded for a wrench – he found himself reminiscing. “We never finished this game, did we?”

“I don't think so. It kept getting harder to find time.”

“Yeah.” Raph leafed through the stack of yellowing character sheets, most of them Donnie's, stopping at a halfling fighter. “Don't think I've even thought about it in years.”

“Uh, guys? We were in the middle of something?”

“Oh, right.” Setting the miniature on top of his monitor, Donatello took the list of names from Leo and began to number them. “Well, start rolling, I guess.”

The first few rolls went smoothly enough but, with the additional die sides and an inability to remove drawn numbers, it eventually became frustrating.

“Maybe we should have just gone with the hat after all.”

“No! Computer games? Fun. Dice? Fun. Hats? Not fun.”

“Mikey, this part doesn't need to be fun. It needs to be functional.”

“Which starts with?”

Leo sighed. “Don's right. We're running out of time – we should be doing this practically.

“Which will only lead to practical gifts! Do you want socks for Christmas? That's how you get socks for Christmas.” Michelangelo crossed his arms. “I'll take this, you guys go do something else.”

“There is literally no world in which I leave you unsupervised in any of my work spaces.”

“Okay, fine. Leo and Raph can go fight about who's gonna sit where and whether or not we have fancy enough napkins, and you can stay here and make sure I don't break anything.”

An hour, a statistically improbable number of dice rolls, and several colorful strings of profanity later, they finally had their Not-So-Secret Secret Santa list made. The two oldest returned about an hour later – still covered in sweat from their decision to train instead of bothering with place settings.

“The napkins were fine, but there's some bad news about the china.”

“Har har.”

“So, which of you knuckleheads did I get stuck with?” Picking up the list of names, Raph almost immediately dropped it again.

Mikey waggled his brow. “Don't be shy, Raphie. Tell us.”

As Leo scanned the paper, about to join in the teasing of his brother, he realized he was responsible for finding a gift for Usagi. “Any way we could do a re-roll?”

Donnie looked up from where he'd started a rough sketch of what looked like a table. “What's wrong? I would have thought you'd be happy to end up with such a good friend.”

“The last time we saw each other, I was... unnecessarily harsh. We've spoken since, but I'm still ashamed of my actions.”

“Could be a good way to apologize. A heartfelt gift can go a long way.”

“Maybe.”

“Okay so...” Michelangelo fidgeted with the dice.. “How are we gonna let everyone know who they're supposed to be shopping for?”

“I can tell April later. Oh, and I can talk to the Professor on my next supply run – assuming Raph's free for some heavy lifting sometime soon.”

“Just tell me when, Don. And I can let Joi know, have her tell the others.”

“That just leaves the Daimyō and Usagi. I'll ask Sensei to pass the message along.” Leo looked over the list again. “We'll also need to apologize to everyone – we're only giving them a week.”

“Ten days, 6 hours, 17 minutes, and... 39 seconds.”

Michelangelo began to count down unhelpfully.

“Right, well. What say we actually get started on this?”

“33, 32, 31...”

“Mikey, I swear, I 'm gonna pummel ya.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to be helpful.”

Donnie glanced back up at the miniature as he sketched. “Hey, guys? What do you say we pick up where we left off after the holidays? Finally slay some of these monsters.”

Catching his brother's slip of the tongue, Leo nodded. “For good.”

*****

Leaning on the old, battered shopping cart the Professor had given him, Don waited patiently for his friend to finish expounding on his latest theory. He made a mental note to tell April to keep an eye out for any old textbooks that might be still buried on the shelves at Second Time Around.

“Donatello, my friend, and Raphael. What brings you to our humble home on this brisk, winter day?”

“I was wondering if I might peruse your collection for bits of scrap metal and wood. And I wouldn't turn down any electrical components you can spare.” He pulled a cardboard box out of the cart. “I was also able to convert a few of the space heaters I found last time to solar charging, with a way to store power for nighttime use. They're a bit more crude than I would have liked, but they should still help.”

“Thank you. The nights have been bitter of late – it will be nice to have a reliable way to keep warm.” Accepting the gift, the Professor led the brothers to a pile of twisted rebar.

“Do you think this will work for what Leo has planned?”

“Maybe. Would probably be better to start with somethin' flatter.” Looking to his right, he spotted a stack of angle iron. “Somethin' like this.”

“Take all that you need. I am going to go back and distribute the supplies you've brought us. And do remind me before you go, I was able to find a new comic book for your brother.”

“You may want to hold onto it – you got Mikey's name for the gift exchange.”

“How fortuitous. I shall be sure to bring it with me next week.”

“Sounds good. Thanks again, Professor.”

About two hours later, they headed back to the Shell Sub with the angle iron, a set of solid oak doors, and about a third of the contents of a defunct Radio Shack.

*****

“So, what's this top-secret mission ya needed me for? And what the hell are we doin' in the Diamond District?” Raph looked up and down 5th Avenue – Casey had been waiting for him in an alleyway, dressed in a three-piece suit. “You look ridiculous, by the way.”

“You've seen me in a suit before.”

“Yeah, and I wasn't gonna bully you in front of your girl. But seein' as she ain't here -”

Casey looked at his feet, focusing on a smudge at the tip of his shoe. “That's what I need your help with.”

“She finally dump your sorry ass?”

“Real funny. I'm finally gonna ask her to marry me, and I need help pickin' out a decent ring.”

Raph shook his head. “You would be the kinda guy that does this on Christmas, wouldn't you?”

“What about it? I heard you got somethin' real nice planned for your girl, too.”

“I swear I'm gonna kill my brothers one'a these days. I had somethin' nice planned, but Leo's been hoggin' all Don's tools. And Joi ain't my girl.”

With an elbow to the bridge of his friend's shell, Casey laughed. “But you want her to be.”

“An abalone on the shore.”

“What?”

“Forget it. So where're we goin'?”

Casey pointed to the tallest building in the area, about half a block away. “Real swanky place, need an appointment and everything.”

After looking down at his tattered hoodie and cargo pants, Raph just stared at him. “And you think they're gonna let me in lookin' like this?”

“I dunno. You could probably pass for my kid if ya keep your trap shut.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let's get a move on before I freeze my shell off.”

*****

Christmas Eve had come, their celebration begun,

Inviting April and Casey for holiday fun.

Since all would be cooking so much the next day,

That night they decided to bring in takeaway

And a dinner addition that left Leo confused,

Raph mostly indifferent, and the others amused.

When their friends arrived, they were bogged down by food from several restaurants, a cake, and – most suspiciously – fried chicken. Breaking away from an argument between his brothers – “Almost Christmas means it isn't Christmas. So, no, Mikey, you can't open presents yet.” – Leo took the buckets and carried them to the kitchen. “What's all this?”

“Don said you wanted a traditional Japanese Christmas experience.”

“And that somehow includes KFC?”

“It would seem so.” When Casey tried to lift the lid on one of the buckets, April swatted him with a takeout menu. “That's for tomorrow.”

“Right, right. Can we eat, though? I'm starvin'.”

Raph came in and started peering into the bags. “What'd ya bring me?”

Donnie had seemingly successfully managed to keep Mikey away from the tree and joined them. “If she was able to get everything on my list, there should be a strawberry shortcake, some of my favorite sushi, plum sake, and a frankly irresponsible number of appetizers.”

“And Chinese – that's what we always did for Christmas Eve when I was a kid. And some beers.”

“You had beer on Christmas Eve as a child?”

“No way, Ma would'a tanned my hide.”

April looked around as if she'd just remembered something. “We also got everything Mikey needs for dinner tomorrow, but we could use some help carrying it – we sort of just... tossed it all down the manhole and carried what we could.”

“Can do.” Raph headed out, with Casey leading the way.

Donnie and Leo helped plate all the food, creating somewhat precarious piles of dumplings and skewers to bring into the family room. Set up in the middle was an oak kotastu table, hexagonal in shape, the blanket Leonardo's signature blue with threads in all the other colors of the rainbow woven throughout.

The eldest stopped in his tracks, causing his brother to bump into his shell. “Don? What's this?”

“Your gift, a little early. Merry Christmas, Leo.” He ducked around so he could set the food down. “Assuming I measured everything correctly, there should be room for all of us.”

Running his hands along the tabletop, he admired Donnie's near-flawless craftsmanship. “It's beautiful. How did you...?”

“Found a tutorial online as soon as Mikey told me I rolled your name. It was pure luck that I was able to find what I needed to make it happen.”

“I love it. Thanks, Don.”

“Of course.”

By the time they made it back to the kitchen, Casey and Raph had returned with the groceries. Leonardo split off to find Splinter while the rest of the food and everything else they needed for the evening's festivities found its way to the family room.

“My sons, what is all this?”

“Leo's been missing Japan, so we wanted to try to bring it to him for the holidays. I unfortunately discovered Christmas Eve is more of a romantic thing there, so I did my best to emulate a more typical 'hangout'... that just happens to have a Christmas theme going.”

“That was very thoughtful of you, Donatello. And it would seem your brother thinks so as well.”

“I do. And it was certainly unexpected.”

As Mikey set up his stereo in the corner of the room, everyone else took their seats – April and Casey were able to sit together at the side of the table opposite Splinter, and each brother found that even they had room to spare. Leo poured three cups of sake, sharing with Don and his father while Raph tossed everyone else a beer.

“Could I trouble you for one of those as well, Raphael?”

“Huh? Sure, Pops. Didn't think beer'd be your thing.”

He popped the tab on the can with his claw. “It can be nice to indulge sometimes, with the right company. And it is finally time that company included my sons.” Holding up his drink, he looked to his family and friends. “Kanpai!”

“Kanpai!”

Plates were passed around as everyone ate and drank their fill. Despite Donatello's worry about having potentially ordered too much food, all that remained on the table were empty wooden sticks and a container of white rice.

Michelangelo picked up a small, plastic package from the floor between him and Don. “Want a plum, Raph?”

“Why not.” Taking the container, he inspected the strange-looking fruit. It was soft and shriveled, and his nose wrinkled slightly at the acetic smell. After passing them around the table, missing how Mikey's smile grew (and how he definitely did not take one), he popped it into his mouth and immediately gagged. “What the hell?”

Leo maintained a straight face, his body betraying him with a slight twitch. “What's wrong?”

Glaring, Raph spit into a napkin and got up from his seat. He rounded the table, stopping in front of his father to take another from the package, before forcing Mikey's mouth open and placing the fruit directly on his tongue. “Start chewin'.” Then, he turned to Donnie. “Were you in on this?”

“Don't look at me. I told him not to.”

Before he could say anything else, Raphael ripped his hand away from his brother's mouth and started shaking it off. “Did you just drool on me?”

“Not my fault, bro. These things are salty.”

Splinter watched the chaos unfold, happily eating his own umeboshi over rice.

*****

Grateful they'd had the foresight to install two ovens in the new lair, Mikey started dinner early the next day. While he appreciated help in the kitchen, he preferred to be alone when preparing ingredients – it was the closest to meditation he was reliably able to get. He found an out-of-the-way spot for Donnie's cookies to finish cooling and, by the time his brothers finished the movie he'd put on to keep them busy, he had diced all the vegetables and started cooking both a ham and a turkey.

Raph came in for a drink before going back out to his heavy bag, and Leo checked where Mikey was in his process before settling in to help.

“Where's Don? I've worked around those cookies so far but, now that you're in here, we could really use the extra space.”

“I think his plan is to go get the Professor soon? He said something about getting some stuff together to bring to the island. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we packed them up.”

“You do it. Last time I moved something without asking him first, he super-glued my stuff to the ceiling.”

“Didn't you 'borrow' his drone prototype and have to fish it out of the East River?”

“I was testing it. It still needed work.”

“Yeah.” Leo finished packing up the cookies into takeout soup containers. “Especially after it crashed into the river.”

“Hey, he got it working eventually.”

“And it took weeks for me to replace all the parts you destroyed to do it.” Donatello came in and packed a few of the containers into his satchel. “I'm heading out. Should be back in a few hours.”

“Do you need a hand? I can ask Raph to -”

“I think I'll be okay – that area's been quiet for years. I'll call if something comes up.

“If you're sure.” Leonardo started measuring ingredients for dinner rolls. “Be safe.”

“That's the plan.”

*****

The glowing blue portal signaling the arrival of their guests from the Battle Nexus appeared in the middle of the living room about an hour before dinner would be ready. As Splinter greeted the Daimyō and his son, Usagi sought out Leonardo.

“It has been ages, my friend. I hope you have been well.”

Leo dipped into a low bow. “Much better than when we last saw each other. I'm sorry for how I treated you then, Usagi-san.”

“There was a path you needed to travel – I am glad to see you have found your way to its end.”

“Only with your help. Though the journey may not have gone quite how I would have hoped.” He glanced toward the dough still rising on the counter. “What do you say to a quick sparring match? Mikey, do you still need help in here?”

Across the room, Michelangelo juggled the preparation of four different dishes. He gestured with a sauce-coated mixing spoon. “What do you think, bro?”

“I think I asked a stupid question. What do you need me to do?”

“Us – I may not know how to use any of these contraptions, but I am quite capable in the kitchen. Please, set me to a task.”

“That's more like it. You could learn a thing or two, Leo.”

“Mikey -” Leo took the bowl of rum-soaked fruit from the counter next to his brother and raised it playfully. “Keep it up, and you'll be starting a new fashion trend.”

“Ooh, fruitcake chic.” He pointed toward the boiling pot on the stove-top. “Those should be done any minute. Usagi, do you think you could add the rice and keep an eye on it?”

“Of course.” Lifting the lid, he tested one of the beans with a fork. A taste told him he was in familiar territory. “I was not expecting to encounter a dish I know so well.”

The three worked together almost seamlessly, only finding themselves in each other's way when there was a need to get into the oven. As Mikey sliced the ham, Leo and Usagi worked on plating side dishes.

When they got to the sekihan, the samurai smiled. “Leonardo, are you familiar with the process of shaping onigiri?”

“When I studied with the Ancient One, it was one of the things he taught me as a mindfulness exercise. There was one day he wouldn't let me stop until I had formed a perfect triangle.” Leo shook his head. “He may still be eating those rice balls.”

Usagi laughed. “Would you like to make some now? I find them quite comforting – perhaps the rest of your guests will as well.”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

The two found a rhythm, making rice balls in a variety of shapes.

Before Mikey moved on to carving the turkey, he picked up one of the round ones. “Huh. Looks kinda like a jelly donut.”

*****

When the rest of their friends arrived, Donatello lead Adam to the garage to show off his most recent improvements to the Turtle Taxi while Faraji and Tora continued the conversation they'd been having on their way in.

And Raphael almost tripped over his feet when he saw Joi – her green, tea-length dress was accented by the simple gold pendant around her neck. As much as he might have hoped the ruby at its center was meant for him, it was more likely just meant to be festive.

“Long time, no see. How've ya been?”

“Can't complain. Life's been pretty boring since that fight against the Shredder's minions.”

“Wish I could say the same. We're still dealin' with the same street gangs we were before, only now they have room to be a problem.”

They settled into more relaxed conversation as food started making its way to the table. The sound of a sneaker against the grate above them led their eyes upward. Joi spotted the sprig of leaves and white berries as Raph followed the line it hung from – directly to Casey, who had a huge, goofy smile on his face.

“Your idea, tough guy?”

“Me? No!” He pointed as his friend tried to duck out of sight. “It was all that bonehead.”

“Oh.” She bent slightly and kissed Raphael gently on the cheek. “That's too bad.”

Just as he was about to do... something, Mikey set the turkey on the table and called everyone to dinner.

*****

Leo picked up one of the buckets and took out a thigh before passing it around. “So, Don. Explain to me what the deal is with the fried chicken?”

“Around Christmas in the early '70s, the manager of Japan's first KFC overheard foreign customers talking about the lack of more traditional holiday foods. He decided to add what he called 'party barrels' to the menu in an attempt to fill the void. Somewhat ironically, it would become a Christmas tradition of its own.”

“I'm almost afraid to ask... why ironically?”

“Colonel Sanders, who was a real person – though not a real colonel, had many jobs throughout his life before settling into the whole chicken thing. Supposedly, one of those jobs involved running the cafeterias in a facility involved in the Manhattan Project.”

Mikey hoarded the rest of the bucket once it reached him. “What's the Manhattan Project?”

“No!” Leo glared at Donnie. “No. When I said I wanted a reminder of my time in Japan, that is not what I meant.”

“I'm sorry. I came across the information while I was researching and thought it was interesting.”

“You would find enriched uranium interesting.”

“I thought we weren't talking about this.”

“We're not. This is me not talking about it.” Leo pointedly took a bite of his chicken.

*****

Now that dinner was over, the dishes cleared fast,

The time to exchange gifts had finally come at last.

Friends and family had all gathered under the tree

To open their presents. Oh, what would they be?

“So, how should we do this? Age order? Alphabetically?”

“Leave it to Don to suck the fun outta everything.”

“Don't you wanna see everyone's gifts? How are we supposed to do that if everyone opens them all at once? There has to be some sort of system.”

“But you're overthinking it, bro. We're already in a circle. Just pick someone and start there.” Mikey handed a small red and gold bag to Tora, who accepted it with a bow of his head.

“Oh, I know! Once he's done opening his present, next will be the person he drew and so on.”

“Also leave it to Don to make everything complicated.”

“Weren't you just saying you wanted to make it fun?”

“Guys!” Leo tangled his fingers in the drawstring of the pouch in his lap. “Does anyone else have any suggestions?”

April looked around the room. “What Don just said makes a lot of sense, actually. That way no one needs to hold onto two gifts for too long.”

The Professor spoke up from his spot on the sofa. “I'm afraid that isn't going to work. The gift I have is for Michelangelo – once it comes around to me, we would be having this conversation all over again.”

“Around in a circle it is, then. Tora, if you would do the honors.”

The bag contained four books – novelizations of some of the many movies Mikey had referenced during their training with the Tribunal. The confusion was obvious on his face.

“I think he's trying to help you better understand his pop culture addled brain.”

Michelangelo rubbed the back of his head. “I did try to pick stuff I thought you might like, though.”

“Thank you.” Tora pulled out a book with a stylized dinosaur skeleton on the front and turned it over. “This one looks interesting.”

“Good choice.” Raph's gaze landed on a specific crease on the back cover. “Mikey... is that my book?”

“No?” The responding glare made him cower. “Okay, yes. The copy I ordered didn't get here in time.”

Returning the book to Raphael, Tora apologized on Michelangelo's behalf.

“Nah, it's fine. Just ignore my brother's weird notes.”

“They're perfectly reasonable notes, thank you.”

“Don, on one page you just wrote 'Frogs? Really?!' and underlined it five times.”

“In my defense, the frogs were a really stupid idea.”

“My turn, my turn!” Mikey walked up to the Professor to accept a parcel wrapped in plain, brown paper, tearing it open before he even sat back down. Inside he found three vintage issues of Justice Force, and a brand new Tales from the Cosmos sandwiched between sheets of cardboard. “Awesome! Thanks, Professor.”

“May they bring you many hours of happiness.”

Usagi stood up next, and presented his gift – a beautifully-crafted staff. “It is contructed of old-growth cedar. A rare commodity, used in the creation of only the most precious items. A fitting tribute to someone I consider a dear friend.” He allowed the bō to roll gently from his outstretched hands into Donnie's. “I do not know if it is suitable for fighting, it may be too inflexible, but I do hope you like it.”

“I don't know what to say.” He ran his fingers over the smooth wood and the familiar scent of finishing oil tickled his nose. “This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Thank you, Usagi.”

“You are quite welcome, Donatello.”

The Professor opened his gift from April – a collection of college textbooks on physics and philosophy – which led him on a tangent about the universe and humanity's place within it. It wasn't until Donnie joined in, guaranteeing a long conversation no one else would understand, that things were reined in and brought back to the presents.

“My apologies, everyone. I sometimes forget that others are less interested in these things than I.”

“It's okay, Professor.” Leo shot a teasing look toward his brother. “We're used to it.”

Tora gave Adam a handle made of cypress with a subtle amber inlay (“When I watch you throw your weapon, I fear it may one day take your arm with it.”), and Joi gifted Faraji lightly-fragranced candles and a book of meditations.

When it came to Leo, he was ready to thank Don again for the kotatsu when his brother shoved an unwrapped wooden box into his lap – it contained everything he needed to maintain his blades. “You didn't need to get me anything else.”

“You were complaining your old kit was getting worn out. If it helps, consider it a selfish gift – the better kept your swords are, the safer I know I am.”

“Noted.” To Usagi, he passed the long cotton pouch, covered in a dragonfly motif. “This is for you, my friend.” Out slid a short tantō, handle carefully wrapped in blue cord. “I haven't forged many blades, but I hope this one serves you as well as mine have.”

“Leonardo, you crafted this yourself?”

“I did. After everything we've been through together, it's truly the least I could do.”

“You honor me, my friend. I will carry it always.”

Next was Ue, whose eyes lit up when Splinter presented him with a shinai. “Your father tells me he wishes to continue your training and I believe my sons are all willing to help.”

“I would be most pleased to learn from them.”

Leo glanced toward Donatello before saying anything. “We can begin in the new year.”

“Won't you teach me something now? Please, Leonardo?”

Donnie got up from his spot on the floor. “Excuse me. I need to go to the little turtle's room.”

“I suppose I could try while Don is gone. Does anyone else mind if I take Ue to the dōjō for a bit?” When no one objected, Leo started to lead him down the hall.

“Do not keep our guests waiting too long, my son.”

*****

When Donnie left the bathroom, face still a bit damp from splashing water on it, he followed the sound of wooden weapons to his brother. Peeking around the entryway of the dōjō, he watched as Leo walked the Daimyō's son through the first of many kata – the boy was well-behaved, if a bit excited, and listened closely to his lesson. There was no sign that he was anything like the Ultimate Ninja at all.

“Are you gonna stand out there all night?”

Ue turned to find out who Leonardo was talking to, and smiled when he saw Donatello. “Hello. I remember you from the day of the Champion's rematch. Thank you, for being ready to step in if my father needed you.”

“Of course.”

“Did we know each other before that day?”

Donnie's gaze shifted, unwilling to burden a child with the conflicting emotions he was currently feeling. “Yeah, but not as well as you knew my brother.”

“I would like very much to change that.”

“Sure.”

Leo set his own practice sword into the weapon rack. “I think that's enough training for now. We should probably get back so everyone else can open their gifts.”

“Yeah, I think I heard Casey out there shaking boxes.”

When they returned, he was, in fact, shaking a box. Specifically one of the boxes that was still under the tree. More specifically, a gift from Leatherhead – left unopened until the next time Donatello saw him.

“I hope, for your sake, that whatever that is isn't broken. LH probably wouldn't be happy.”

Casey immediately put it back and gently patted the lid. “N-no harm done. Should be fine.”

“Sorry for the interruption.” Leo took his seat next to Usagi. “Should we continue?”

“Yes.” Returning to his father's side, Ue placed a small package on his knee. “I'm sorry, father. After our last ceremony, I dropped it while putting things away.”

The Daimyō took out the handmade tea bowl and admired its autumnal glaze. “It is beautiful, my son.” Replacing it safely within its wrappings, he set it to his side and picked up his gift for Splinter.

Thoughtfully unwrapping the snowflake-patterned cloth, he removed two small jars and another wrapped parcel containing an assortment of mochi. “These will be a fine complement to our New Year's celebration.”

“Wonderful! And please, let me know what you think of the fruit preserves – the grapes have come from Koshu and are infused with jasmine tea. I've been assured it's quite good.”

“I will. Thank you, old friend. I do believe April is next.”

“Oh, no. Casey already gave me my gift this morning.” The ring on her finger sparkled in a way that was hard to miss now that attention had been drawn to it.

“Hey, Case. I thought you were gonna wait 'til you got here.”

“Nah.” He gestured to his now-fiancé. “I may be that guy, but I ain't that guy.”

Adam handed him a hastily-wrapped box. “I guess you're next? I wasn't really sure what to get you... but Donatello said you could use this.”

As he tore open the paper, a motorcycle chain fell out. “Yeah, definitely. Got a few ideas in mind already. Thanks, pal.” Wrapping it around his fist, he threw a quick jab.

Turning to Donnie, Adam nudged him in the plastron. “Do I wanna know?”

“Probably for the best if you don't.” He looked to his brother, who was staring a hole through the package at his feet. “Raph, I think you're up.”

“Huh?”

Faraji stood and handed him a black leather case. Inside, resting on crimson felt, was a pair of kama attached by a chain. “It isn't as impressive a weapon as Banrai, but in your hands it does not need to be.”

“Thanks. The bad guys won't know what hit 'em.”

Joi gestured to the gold-wrapped box on the floor. “I'm guessing that's for me?”

Any attempt at trying to be nonchalant went out the window as the gift tumbled out of Raph's hands and into her lap. “Sorry about that.”

When she lifted the lid, she found what appeared to be a pile of yellow silks nestled in red tissue paper. Trying to move the cloth out of the way pulled at the chain it had been woven into, wrapped around a kunai attached to a length of rope. A closer look at the silks revealed their tips had been dyed red. “Something you wanted to say, Raphael?”

“I'll be honest, I'm not good at this. Was kinda hopin' the gift would do the talkin' for me.”

Looking more closely at the blade, she saw it was etched with the character for 'hawk'. “It might be saying too many things.”

“Yeah, I figured it might be too much.” Seeing all eyes on him – or, at least, all of his brother's eyes on him – only made things worse. His voice lowered to a whisper. “Think we could maybe talk about this later? That way I only look like an idiot in front of you?”

She rested a comforting hand against his where no one could see. “I'll hold you to that, Raph.”

*****

Now that presents had been opened, Leo started picking up the pieces of wrapping paper and stray ribbons while Mikey left to bring out dessert. The cookies were a hit, as they were any time Don and April baked, and the strawberry cake was a welcomed change from the usual seasonal pies. The bottles of eggnog Casey had brought were the only alcoholic thing anyone was interested in as Mikey's fruitcake sat forgotten, even by him – he'd left it on the kitchen counter.

“So where are you guys staying tonight?”

“We found a... not horrible deal on a room nearby. Truth be told, we had all talked about staying through the new year. You know, experience the sights, find out what the fuss is all about.” Taking a sip of his drink, Adam sighed. “Then we saw the price tag.”

“I get it. As much as we love it here, it isn't exactly cheap.” Donnie called his brothers over. “What do you guys think about letting them stay for... say a week? Spend some time catching up, show them what the city's all about. Maybe even watch the ball drop.”

“I don't see why not. We don't really have any spare beds, but Raph has knit about seven blankets for every room in the lair. So, at least you'd be warm.”

Joi held a hand to her mouth to cover a snicker.

“We'll set you up in the, I guess, den for the night and figure something else out later? Maybe I'll ask Usagi to stay as well. Come on, Mikey. Help me find some pillows.”

Donnie pulled out his phone and started to dial. “Oh, would you all be alright with me inviting someone over when everyone else leaves?”

“Sure, as long as it isn't, like, a giant alligator or something.” Letting out a kindhearted laugh, Adam stopped as he watched Don tuck his phone away again. “I'm sorry, it was a joke.”

“It's okay. We aren't exactly the norm – in this dimension, anyway. But maybe don't do that in front of him. He can be a bit... sensitive.”

“Yeah, sensitive like a powder keg.”

“Not helping, Raph.” Dialing a second time, Donatello rested a hand over the mouthpiece. “I promise you have nothing to worry about, he really is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet.

After being assured that most of the guests will have left before he arrives, and those that remain would be more than capable of handling themselves, Leatherhead agreed to join them.

As soon as he hung up, the lovebirds came over to say goodnight. And Casey was being none-too-subtle about his intentions once they made it home. April apologized for all of the weird things he was saying, blaming them on the alcohol and the excitement from that morning.

“Come on, we all know Casey can be a real cave troll sometimes.”

“Again, Raph, not helping.”

“My sons, please come here. It is time for us to say goodbye to the Daimyō.”

“Father, may I come back to train with Leonardo again?”

“I see no reason why not.”

Ue turned to Leo. “Thank you again for spending time with me today. I feel as though I've learned so much already.”

“I'm happy to hear that. We'll see you soon.”

When the portal to the Battle Nexus closed behind them, Usagi remained in the lair.

“I think I'm going to go to bed. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your night.” Splinter turned toward his room. “Michelangelo, please try to keep it down.”

*****

When Leatherhead arrived, they grabbed some of the leftovers – and the forgotten fruit cake – to bring into the family room. Setting the food out on the kotatsu, they tried their best to fit around the table. Mikey almost succeeded in not being obvious about staring when Joi sat down beside Raph.

“Can we help you?”

“Nah, bro.” He shoveled a handful of cookies into his mouth.

“That's what I thought.”

Everyone broke off into separate, occasionally related conversations. Adam asked Don about all the vehicles he'd rebuilt, while Faraji and Tora spoke about traditional weaponry. Michelangelo, Leo and Usagi wondered what might happen when the Daimyō reinstated the championships. Raph and Joi kept to themselves, and Leatherhead waited for a lull in his friend's conversation.

When Adam excused himself to use the bathroom, he saw his chance. “Donatello, have you opened your gift yet?”

He picked up the box from where it rested on the floor next to him. “I have it right here. I was waiting until I saw you.”

“You did not need to do that.”

“I wanted to. You seemed disappointed when I couldn't stay the other day.” Untying the silver ribbon, he was careful not to tear the paper as he lifted the taped edge.

“Just tear it open!”

“You're brother is meticulous. It is one of the many things I admire about him.”

Finally getting to the simple cardboard box inside, Donnie opened it to find two crookedly-poured candles in scuffed jars and a plush purple blanket, along with a copy of A Brief History of Time and a collection of publications on reptilian genetics – both heavily annotated in Leatherhead's jagged but careful script.

“You recently expressed an interest in learning a bit more about your own biology. I hope this research will offer a balanced starting point.” He picked up one of the candles, breathing in the scent of black tea and bergamot. “But I have also noticed you have become even more absorbed in your work... it seemed you were trying to avoid something. These are some of the things that help me when I find myself doing the same.”

“Thanks, LH. I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Always, my friend.”

As conversation died down, Donnie's eyelids had begun to droop. Without much thought, he draped the folded blanket over the crocodile's leg before resting his head on it.

It took him all of a minute to fall asleep.

Leatherhead turned to Leo. “He has not been taking care of himself, has he?”

“Not really. We've had to carry him out of the lab a lot lately.”

Pulling the kotatsu blanket around Donatello's sleeping form, he rested a protective hand on his friend's shell. “I am glad he feels comfortable enough to sleep now.”

“Me too.” He checked the time. “I think Don has the right idea.” Moving to stand, he shivered as the cooler air of the room curled around him before retreating back to the warmth they'd all been sharing. “How about we just sleep here?”

Tora objected. “While that may seem like a good idea, it could lead to a very restless sleep. It is also a fire hazard.”

“What if we turn the heater off first?”

“I've never tried.”

Leo fumbled blindly for the switch. Remembering his brother mentioning a removable cord, he unplugged that as well.

Hearing the tail-end of the conversation, Adam noticed a different issue. “I'm not sure we're all going to fit.” He took a blanket from the stack on the couch and settled into a nearby recliner.

“Joi, Would you like the couch? Tora and I would be fine on the floor.”

“No.” She turned to Raphael and smiled. “I think I'll stay here.”

“Suit yourself. Usagi, was it? What about you?”

“It has been some time since I have allowed myself such an indulgence. But if you would, please save me a blanket or two.”

Mikey was already passed out beside Donatello, practically shell-to-shell, only stirring slightly when Raph accidentally kicked him trying to lay down himself. Since there was more space, Usagi moved to the side of the table previously occupied by Tora and Faraji. And no one said anything when Joi had pointedly not moved, merely shifting slightly before curling up next to Raphael.

“Thank you, Usagi-san. For coming today.” Leo spoke softly to avoid disturbing anyone. “I was afraid you wouldn't.”

“I, too, was concerned about what the day might bring – when we last saw each other, I feared I had overstepped.”

“No. You told me what I needed to hear. I just wasn't in a place to listen. I'm hoping, now that I'm feeling more like my self again, that we could begin making up for lost time.”

“I would like that very much, but perhaps in the morning.”

He nodded. “Of course. Goodnight, Usagi.”

The samurai sat awake, watching over his friend until the early hours of the morning. Once he was satisfied Leonardo was sleeping peacefully, he finally closed his eyes himself.

So, after dealing with all of the holiday stress,

Comfortably settled in for some much needed rest,

Friends and family together, all safe and secure,

There was no better gift that they could have asked for.

And just as it happens in “The Christmas Aliens”,

Where Mikey breaks the fourth wall, here we'll do it again.

To extend heartfelt wishes of laughter and light,

Of peace, love, and warmth for your own Christmas night.