Work Text:
Ok, Shane was well aware how crazy and irresponsible this was. Staying on the call while Ilya was ... But it was so fucking hot that he just didn't want it to stop. Hayden was talking on the other line about his baby? Babies? Plural? Or singular? God help him, his braincells stopped working the moment Ilya rested his pretty little head on his thigh and looked up at him with those puppy dog eyes.
And who was Shane not to endulge him. Also, he was fully convinced that his dick had a brain of his own in these kinds of situations.
So, back to Hayden and ... What the hell, wife of a whom came to where? Shane couldn't catch the path of Hayden's words anymore and for the first time in months this was the time Hayden decided to yap about his family history.
Okay, that was rude of Shane. To be completely honest it was him who was dodging his calls for weeks after the baby was born because he was so stressed out about Ilya coming to the cottage. But in this very moment he couldn't care less about the baby, Ruby's little slippers or whatever the hell he was talking about right now.
All he could focus was muffling his moans and stoving off the feeling of impending orgasm crawling up his spine.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Hayden's voice:
"So, silent retreat buddy?" He genuinely asks. Shane was being a really bad friend. Hayden spent weeks surounded by babies and he probably needed a bit of a normal adult conversation. The problem was that the only adult thought coming to Shane's mind was 'my dick is in Ilya's mouth'.
"Yeah. You know. Doing yoga. Bonfires and stuff," he lets out an involuntary moan and claps his hand across his mouth while Ilya doubles his efforts. Hayden chuckles on the other line.
"You sure about that? You don't have any company?" Shane could hear the lift of his eyebrows and that weird little glaze of Hayden's eyes whenever he tries to coerce Shane into sex talks.
"May... Maybe." Good god Ilya is going to kill him right now. He might die from a blowjob and his tombstone will read 'Died from a blow job while on the call with his best friend - doesn't regret anything'.
"Oh. Oooohhhh bud, sorry. I'm hanging up. Say hi to Lilly for me," Hayden hufs out a laugh. He always loved when Shane used to lie about his outings with Lily and secretly wanted to snatch Shane's phone and text her back while they were in Boston so they could make some kind of surprise get together party with her, Hayden and JJ.
But, before Hayden could drop the line Shane says back:
"He says hi back."
"Wait. He?" Hayden almost screams in the microphone hearing nothing but silence. He turns his phone around and sees that the line is still rolling, Shane must've put him on hold.
"What the fuck," he whispers into thin air. Then the line connects again, crackling.
"Um, so. I'm gay," Shane's voice comes strained from the other side. Hayden composes himself, his thoughts going thousands of miles per hour.
"Um. I'm proud of you buddy. Thank you for telling me."
But then Hayden hears on the other side of the line a familiar voice, a thick accent and shushing noises.
"Ilya, stop. I'm not... You sure?"
Hayden's brain was exploding right now. Shane being gay that was awesome, fantastic even. That just meant for him that he'll need to wingman in a gay club or something. But the voice on the other line that wasn't Shane was awfully familiar to...
"Pike, can you switch to facetime please?"
And yes, that was the voice of Ilya fucking Rozanov. He fumbles his phone as quickly as he can as not to drop it while Ruby and Jade at that same time decided to latch onto his legs.
The facetime connected just in time when he was looking at them trying to get somewhere private in case Shane and Ilya were indescent.
"Ruby, Jade I have Uncle Shane on the other line and we're having a serious conversation. Can you leave daddy alone for a bit?" He says it in his sweetest dad voice and both Ilya and Shane smirk on the video call. Hayden glances over at them and Ilya makes a shutting zipper motion across his lips to let him know that they won't say a thing.
He shakes his head from the thought that his best friend was snuggled up on a couch with ... Ilya fucking Rozanov.
But Ruby and Jade had other plans, because the moment Hayden mentions Shane their eyes open up like he said they are secretly princesses and their real home is actualy a castle somewhere in England.
"UNCLE SHANE!" They both screech and reach with their tiny little hands to Hayden's phone. Shane laughs on the other line, Ilya was trying to muffle little giggles coming out from him.
"Hey, hey. Stop that. Ugh, fine. Uncle Shane, would you like to say hi to your lovely yet demon like nieces?" He rolls his eyes when the girls start giggling and sees that Ilya made a movement with his finger that he'll move out of the video as not to confuse kids or something.
Hm, Hayden thought - Ilya Rozanov was being, kinda considerate. That's a scary thought.
But then Shane tangles his fingers with Ilya's and moves his eyes a bit signaling that he wants him in the video. Hayden shakes his head again. How long has this been going on if they are talking telephatically?
"Where are my nieces Hayd? You didn't try to excorcise them out of the house or something?" Shane raises his voice so that the girls could hear him. They didn't know what the word meant but the tone of his voice was enough for them to know that he's messing with their dad. Hayden gives the phone to Ruby.
"Uncleeeee Shaaaaaaneeeeeee!"
Shane's screen was then filled with close ups of various eyes and foreheads, then curls and parts of the dresses while the girls talked over each other trying to get the phone from each other's hands.
"We have a new baby!"
"He cries. A lot!"
"And he stinks, a lot!"
"Daddy fell asleep on the toilet this morning."
"JADE!" Hayden screams but the girls keep giggling. Both Shane and Ilya errupt in laughter.
"Wow. That sounds fantastic girls. Teasing your dad and your baby brother."
"Yeah. It's fun. Hey, Uncle Shane why can't we see you?" Jade asks, or Jade's humongous eye on the camera asks.
"Move away from the camera a bit bud," Shane instructs but then someone, probably Hayden, rearranges the phone in her hand and now both of the girls are in the shot. Smiling ear to ear.
"Hi, Uncle Shane!" They sing song in unison.
"Hey girls."
They both slip a little 'Oh' upon seeing Ilya on screen and their eyes widen a bit.
"Uncle Shane, who is that Disney Prince next to you?" Ruby places her chin on the palms of her hands and looks lovingly at Ilya.
Hayden groans behind camera and mumbles 'God help me', Ilya's smile widens in that smile Shane always likes seeing on his face but he tries to school his expression.
"Ruby, Jade. I would like to introduce you to Ilya. He's my ... boyfriend."
Hayden's breath hitches. Both Ruby and Jade start jumping in the air - again a violent motions of eyes, ears, hair, dresses.
"The prince is your boyfriend?"
"He's so pretty!"
"You're very lucky Uncle Shane!"
"Does he have a castle?"
"Does he have a princess carriage?"
"Does he have a horse?"
"Oh, oh can we call him Uncle Ilya now?"
They are almost out of their breath when Ilya speaks.
"You know, I know your father for long time. But I never knew he had smart kids. Because, you know - he sleeps on toilets."
Rubby and Jade giggle and Shane covers his mouth with his hand.
"Watch it there Rozanov," Hayden's head plops on the screen.
"Sorry, sorry. But I am right, yes? Also I don't live in a castle, but is a big house. Don't have a horse but there are horsies on my cars. And cars can be carriages, yes?"
"Wow, Uncle Ilya. That's so awesome."
"You have beautiful hair. All curly and golden," Ruby is getting closer to the camera so she can see Ilya better and Ilya grins again.
"Don't call him..." Hayden starts but then glances towards the camera and asks Ilya - "Is it okay for them to call you like that? Sorry, this is super weird for me now."
Ilya smiles politely and answers:
"Is fine Pike. I like your kids. They can call me Uncle Ilya. Or prince," he smirks around the last word and Hayden groans again.
"Ugh. Shane, weren't there any other nice men in Montreal?"
"Maybe," he answers plainly. Shane has a feeling everyone will ask him the same when they come out eventually. "Okay girls, can I talk to your dad for a bit? But you need to promise me to leave him alone, we need to have a grown up talk. Okay?"
Ruby and Jade look at each other like they are sharing thoughts then turn to Shane in unison.
"If you promise to bring Uncle Ilya next time you come here."
"Deal. Done."
Shane accepts without hesitation and Hayden turns his face again to the screen. He'd seen Shane in his various stages of distress but never this free and unhinged. Was Hayden living in an alternate universe? Has he fallen into a coma on that god forsaken toilet after being up for almost 72 hours straight and now is living in a world where Shane is unapologeticaly himself, but at the same time - with Ilya Rozanov.
He was shaken out of his daydreaming when the girls pushed the phone back in his hand and he just stared at the abyss of the front camera.
"You okay there Hayd?"
"Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming? Like, fell asleep on the toilet and I knocked myself out. Or the girls murdered me in my sleep."
Shane giggles but it was Ilya that spoke first.
"This is not a dream Pike. You dream about me often?"
"Shut up Rozanov," Hayden bites back but also giggles himself with them.
"So, I know that this might be super weird for you right now," Shane starts.
"That's one way to put it."
"And I know you have a lot of questions."
"Would you answer them if I ask?"
"Yeah. Of course."
Shane says and Ilya nods.
"How long?"
"Since before our rookie year," Shane answers cheeks flushing. Ilya squeezes his hand.
"Since before... Shane, but you... You hate each other?"
"Um I mean yes but no, it was all for show. I love him, actually," he looks lovingly at Ilya who drops a featherlight kiss on Shane's bicep. Hayden's mind was exploding right now.
"But wait, Lilly from ... from Boston," Hayden starts but as he says it he sees the disguise and fucking hell how he never figured it out before.
"Told you Pike. You not so smart."
"Fucking hell Rozanov. Lilly, Ilya? Oh my god my whole life is a lie!" He theatrically drops on the couch cushions and looks around the room.
"Yeah. Well. We needed to keep it a secret. We still do. But we have a plan and everything and we know it's too much to ask for but we would like it if you could keep it a secret for a bit too? We can talk about it when I'm back in Montreal."
"Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I won't tell..." Hayden suddenly realizes how big of a secret this might be if they have been holding this in for so many years under the radar. "Hey, you two okay? I know I'm freaking out right now but you must feel... Damn, did I force you to come out?"
"Don't think about it too much Pike. You'll hurt your little head and you need to make more kids," Ilya says without an actual bite in his words, eyes shining with tears of relief.
"We're fine. Mostly. But yeah, it's been hard couple of years."
And then Hayden sees it, the looks they exchange. The compassion and safety they feel while holding hands and that was what was missing the entire time while Shane was all alone in Montreal.
"You really love each other, don't you?"
"More than you can ever imagine," Shane says and one tear drops from his eye.
"Then I'm happy for both of you. But, Ilya ..." He lifts his eyebrows in Ilya's direction - "If you hurt him, I will hunt you down and let Ruby and Jade maul your body - and trust me, they can be vicious. Understood?"
"You're a good friend Pike. I understand," Ilya says lifting a pinky finger for a pinky promise.
"Jesus. I'm being polite towards Rozanov. Which alternate Universe am I living in?" He closes his eyes and sighs.
"One of which your best friend is finally happy. Oh, and you can tell Jackie, just tell her to be discreet."
"Of course, she won't tell anything. Although..." Hayden loses himself mid sentence.
"Although?" Ilya chimes in.
"Damn, I swear to god I hope she won't add Lilly to the WAG group chat."
Ilya and Shane both scream laugh in unison when Hayden stands abruptly from the couch.
"What just happened?" Shane asked.
"Oh, um. I just remembered what caused this whole conversation." Hayden was now blushing head to toe and Shane was trying to shut his eyes as tight as he can. Ilya just smirked.
"Ah, yes. Well. You know. You thought I was Lilly. Mistakes happen."
"Mistakes. You were... Or you were... What were you... Wait, I don't wanna know. I need to end this conversation immediately," Hayden shakes himself trying to get rid of the mental images in his brain.
"You do that Pike. We'll get back to our stuff now," Ilya smirks around the words again.
"What, Ilya shut up," Shane pushes him out of the video.
"I don't wanna know. I'm not asking. I'll just end this call right here right now and I'll be fine. I'm fine. I promise," Hayden is still looking up and the ceiling, afraid that if he looks at the camera he'll spontaniously combust.
"I think that's the best Hayd."
"Yup, yup. Love you bud, text later ... Or not. Whatever. Bye Roza... Bye Ilya." Did he just called Rozanov his first name again, jesus?
"Bye Hayden. Say hi to the girls from Russian Prince with nice hair, yes?" Ilya enters the video again smiling.
"Ugh, I hate you. Bye now."
Hayden drops the call then looks around the living room. Jackie is never going to believe him. Or worse, she may have suspected all along, because how no one ever connected the dots from Lilly to Ilya and Boston hookups? They really do show how sometimes hockey players are only hockey smart.
Whatever the reason or circumstances led to Shane and Ilya being together the only thing Hayden knew was that they loved each other, and his best friend looked more relaxed than he had ever known him in their almost a decade long friendship. So yeah, he will protect their secret and he'll be there by Shane's side if they ever decide to marry.
Wait, does this mean Shane will marry Rozanov?
Oh, Hayden was in his own personal hell.