Chapter Text
The night that the party defeated the burning avatar of Jad and settled into Faldun was a very strange one.
The townspeople had not watched what had unfolded, yet they had seen the destroyed pyre that once stood ready to be lit by the sword. Explaining to an entire city that a cleric of their god combust into flames and declared that he was the Burning One was not necessarily the easiest thing to do, so they elected not to do it. All that was told was that Graccus had threatened to burn down the entire city himself, and Kiara assured the people that no man was meant to cause the purifying flame of the New World, but only Jad himself was.
Yet, the events that had unfolded weighed on Kiara heavily. Graccus had seemed like a loyal follower of Jad, one that she had even respected before. Why did he want her to light the pyre and destroy the rest of Faldun? Why did he want her to be like Eikthyr?
The tents were set up, the camp being lit by lanterns. A small flame flickered as Kiara struggled to light a bonfire in the center of it, but unfortunately, their surroundings were still too damp outside from Tor’ra’s rain. At least, that’s what she told herself. A lack of fire in the camp bothered Kiara.
The moon was bright, constellations hanging in the sky that Halstein was studying. Kiara looks from him back to the extinguished bonfire.
“You look… worried.” Tor’ra spoke to Kiara plainly, as she always did. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Just… thinking about things.” Kiara was thinking, so it wasn’t a complete lie.
“What are you thinking about?”
“I… don’t really want to talk about it.”
Halstein looks down, finally tuning into the conversation. “Talking about it may help you figure things out. It’s good to verbalize things sometimes.”
“It’s fine. I’m… I know you all want to help, but this is something I need to figure out.”
“… Okay. If you say so.”
Kiara continues to look at the cinders, very aware of the elf’s eyes that were still on her. It was just… uncomfortable. Tor’ra was kind, yes, but she was a little rough around the edges. Kiara didn’t know if it was due to her upbringing, or if it was just her personality; she always knew how to get underneath her skin.
… Jealousy, maybe?
“You don’t have to just sit out here thinking to yourself while watching a fire ring that won’t burn, you know,” Tor’ra suggests. “Julian is in his tent. He may want to see you.”
She was sure he did not. But Kiara really wanted to believe he did, and after everything that happened, it probably would be a good idea to chat with him.
“Mm… I don’t know… I’m sure he’s dealing with a lot right now. Since… Graccus.”
“I’m sure he is,” Halstein speaks. “But that’s all the more reason he shouldn’t be left alone with his thoughts, either. I’m sure he could use some company.”
Kiara sighs. She stands up.
“Okay, sure. I’ll at least check on him.”
Julian was laying down for the night, the lantern still ignited beside his head. He watched it flicker slowly, his eyes growing heavier, but his mind kept him awake.
His ears pick up on the sound of rustling, realizing that it was the sound of his tent being lightly jostled from the outside. He hears a familiar voice, one that was usually strong and assertive. This time, it was soft… unsure, even.
“Captain Julian? Are you still awake?”
He sits up, wrapping his blanket around him tighter. He speaks a bit louder in return. “Yes, is everything alright?”
“Yes, I… uh, just wanted to make sure you were alright… I mean, I wanted to talk to you about… today.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I do, too… I’m quite tired, though, can it not wait until tomorrow?”
Kiara pauses for a moment. “I suppose it can. I was just having trouble sleeping… I wasn’t sure how you were doing.”
Julian’s brow furrows. Lady Kiara never expressed concern for these things. The mission was always the priority. If she ever had a problem, she never verbalized it, and expected others not to, either. Perhaps it was the fact that they were now in Faldun, so she was thinking about the next move, or maybe it was because of… what happened.
A couple more seconds of quiet hang in the air. Julian swallows.
“… Captain Julian?”
“… Come in, if you’d like.”
Kiara is taken aback by his quick change of decision. “Are you sure? You sound tired.”
“No, please, come in.”
Kiara relents, opening the tent and stepping inside. It was dim, the warm light of his lantern casting upon his face. It felt like she was barging in on him again like she had back at Fort Zack Morris.
She zips up the tent about halfway behind her. “Sorry I interrupted your rest.”
“No worries… I wasn’t resting much.”
“Me neither… I was outside trying to light the fire, but I couldn’t get it to start.”
“That’s alright. The lanterns work just fine.”
Kiara nods half-heartedly. She looks around the small tent, anywhere besides Julian’s face.
“Are you cold?” Julian asks, tugging lightly on one of his blankets as if he was going to offer it to her.
“No… I’m pretty warm right now, but thank you.”
Julian nods.
The air is thick, and it is almost eerily quiet. The wind makes the tent stir gently. Kiara fiddles with her hands.
A cough breaks the silence. “So… no serious injuries earlier?”
Kiara is relieved Julian was the first one to bring it up. “Not that I’ve been made aware of. I mean…”
Julian looks at her, his head tilting slightly.
She glances up from the lantern, meeting his eyes guiltily. “I… wanted to give my condolences. For your brother.”
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passes.
Julian sighs. “It’s… thank you.”
Kiara nods. She is unsure of what else to say. She had lost friends in battle before, but no one who was very close to her. Family seemed like an entirely different story, much harder for her to relate to. As far as she knew, her parents were still alive and healthy in Krecksborg. It had been some time since she had written to them, though.
She never had any siblings. Kiara never knew what it was like to have that bond. Even if Graccus and Julian were not that close now, they may have been at one time. Either way, they were still brothers.
“He… really knew a lot about Jad. We may not have seen eye-to-eye on things, but… yeah. He was admirable.”
Kiara had given many rallying speeches before. Before battle to armies of hundreds of men. To people who were eager for Jad’s message and holy fire. She knew how to evoke hunger, to stir emotion, to please a crowd.
Never in her life had she spoken to a single person like this. She never had to console anyone before.
Kiara tries again. “He knew a lot about my sword, knew passages from the Commentaries by heart…”
“He… he spent so much time in the church. Left home just about the same time I did, but instead of becoming a soldier, he decided he was going to study and become a cleric.”
Kiara’s eyes widened slightly. Normally, Julian didn’t talk about these things. “He did? Wow… he spent so many years serving Jad.”
“Yeah… it’s…—”
“Honorable.”
“—Unfortunate.”
They two of them speak at the same time, Kiara blinking in confusion the moment after he finishes talking. “… Unfortunate?”
Julian looks downward. “I think so… If he hadn’t gone down that path, maybe this wouldn’t have happened…”
“I mean… sure, but I don’t think serving Jad in itself is what led him to believe the wrong doctrine…”
He speaks a bit harshly. “He studied for years. He was a smart man. I couldn’t care less about the doctrine, but he knew what was right and wrong. But if he had just forgotten about Jad, maybe he wouldn’t have gone off the deep end.”
Kiara frowns. “I don’t think someone should just give up their entire religion because lies and false teachings are spread about it.”
“What lies?”
Her brows furrow, a bit taken aback by his accusatory tone. “Jad doesn’t call for his followers to light pyres and destroy cities. He wants us to prepare ourselves for the New World that he will bring himself.”
Julian shakes his head. “I don’t know much about Jad. But from what I knew from Graccus, Jad is an angry god. A destructive one. He wanted you to light that pyre, for one reason or another.”
“You don’t know anything about Jad.”
That came out bitter. As soon as Kiara said it, she regretted it. Julian’s eyes narrowed.
“I may just be a soldier, but I knew my brother. Graccus didn’t deserve to die. He knew about the god he served.”
She couldn’t help herself.
“No he didn’t. He believed in heresy.”
Julian raises his voice. “Then why did Graccus burst into flames, and you can’t even light a fire?!”
Kiara freezes. She goes to retort, but she can’t think of anything to say in return, resulting in her mouth simply hanging open. She looks at him indignantly, but she also looks… hurt.
Julian’s heart aches. He looks angry, and he is… but then he remembers he is facing his superior. He sits up a bit straighter, fixing his expression.
“I am going to get some sleep. Goodnight, Lady Kiara.” He begins to shift, laying down.
Kiara does not move for a time, looking downwards for a brief moment before she stands. She does not answer him, moving to leave his tent quietly.
Julian extinguishes the flame, this time, starting at an unlit lamp as he pondered and chased sleep.