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“So.. you were stuck down here?” Mike blurted.
The whole party had driven into the Upside Down at most twenty minutes before these words.
Right now, they were waiting. Waiting for Vecna to merge the Rightside up and the Abyss. The whole party knew it was inevitable, and no one dared to talk until now.
Mike was standing at the far end of the Wheelers garage, or rather the Upside Down version near the door inside. Mike pupils were wide with some unrecognizable emotion, and he was tapping his left foot in a rhythmic tone. Will suspected this tone was for what song he chose back in the WSQK, but he couldn’t be sure.
Will turned to face Mike; all of him. His dark brown eyes were bright considering their location, and Will’s were dim, but not that dim.
Will’s hazel green eyes shown with immense thought. For the past hour Will had been thinking about what he had done back at the WSQK. Will knew it was necessary to be honest with his family and his friends, but something about it felt off.
Maybe it was the fact that Will hadn’t shared who he had liked all of these years. But something about saying outright that he liked Mike in front of around twelve people was way too much. He didn’t want to put his best friend on the spot like that, even if he wasn’t dating El anymore.
But something part of him wished he shared it, at least to Johnathan, Joyce, and Robin, because something was up with Mike. Will knew it.
Ever since Mike had hugged Will at the MAC-Z, Will had felt him hiding—or pulling away in some way. In these past few days, or the in the time he was awake, Will noticed Mike’s presence shift. He didn’t know how or why, but Mike was distant in so many ways. After Will had fallen into his trance, as Robin called it, Mike was unusually quiet.
Back at the WSQK, before and a little after Will’s sorcery, Mike was expressing a lot of him. Mike had shown how proud he was of Will, how all his plans worked, and so much more, but now…
Now Mike was quiet. He hadn’t said anything even remotely Mike to Will after he had come out of his trance. It was like—maybe Mike had forgotten something, or he was forcing himself to.
Will starred at Mike for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak like this was casual small talk. Will knew this was anything but small talk, this was very much the end of the world, and Will still felt like he needed to do more. Or rather to say more.
Will starred into Mike’s eyes to get a better look. That glint wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
Fine. We can talk.
Will sighed. “Did you think it was someplace else?” Will didn’t ever want to come back here, but here he was four years later in the Upside Down.
Will knew this place was bad, but he also knew that the Abyss, or whatever was merging with Earth, was worse. Still, Will felt sick, just waiting here like it was normal. Everything about this place was wrong, but it wasn’t as hostile as it felt before to Will.
Mike straightened his lips, sighing, as if to mimic Will. But it wasn’t bad, it was merely sympathy, or even empathy on Mike’s part.
Will had been through way too much silence in his life. He forced himself to be quiet, he forced himself to be alone, and most of all he forced himself to be something he wasn’t.
As much as Will would want too, he would never truly get over Mike.
This made Will scared, like a lot of things did.
The silence of this in Will’s life was the loudest, louder than any other silence. Today Will had expressed himself to everyone he knew well, and some he hadn’t.
Will did this to get over his fear of being different, to prove Vecna wrong, but the truth was—Vecna hadn’t taunted him in the way he had described it to Joyce.
…
“William…” Vecna—Henry—this monster Growled at Will. It was all so familiar, too much for Will. But Will knew, he knew he needed to face this. All of it.
“You claim you are contempt with yourself.” He groaned, his sharp claws grasping Will’s head. “But you are too afraid to face your fears.”
Flashes of memories flooded Will’s head. Mike yelling at him in his garage, Will destroying Castle Byers, Lonnie calling Will names, anything to hurt Will.
Will screamed louder than he had ever before. All the pain in his life, all the hurt, it was all connected to so many different things, but one at the same time.
Sharp like needles, Vecna’s hand dug deeper into Will’s skull. Will could feel his own head crack, Will could feel the blood trickling down his cheeks, but most of all Will could feel himself slipping away, like Vecna was doing something to him.
No. This couldn’t happen again.
Will needed to stay strong. He needed to find a way to get out of here, a way to hurt Vecna back.
It was too much though. The memories continued to swirl around in a tight, uncomfortable, erratic pattern. Every moment seemed to force Will deeper and deeper into doubt. Every word caused Will to yell louder, it was way too much.
He needed to find a way to get out of this. Find a way to get out of this hell.
Will thought of D&D. All the times he had played it with Lucas, Dustin, and Mike. Especially Mike.
His smell, his smile, his face, his tone. Mike was grounding Will. This was working. Will brought himself to more memories, he felt Vecna struggle now.
Will and Mike on the swing set, the day they had met. Will focused on the way Mike spoke, his smile, his young voice. Will saw himself nod, and was reminded of when things were so simple.
He needed to keep going.
Back in California, when Will and Mike were talking in Will’s bedroom. There was something in the way Mike looked at Will. He told him they should stay best friends. Best friends. Will was best friends with Lucas and Dustin and Max and El, but something was different about him and Mike.
Still, the sharp pain in his skull was constant, reminding him of everything bad that had happened.
Will remembered just yesterday, when him and Mike were talking by the tunnels, about to enter.
Mikes wording, the way he smiled, the way he spoke. Mike was flirting and Will had caught on because of Robin’s acknowledgements. When Will playfully punched Robin, Will saw Mike’s face and felt doubt, but he had never looked into Mike’s real emotions, deep into his eyes in that moment.
Will starred at his eyes in this memory, everything was in slow motion like some sort of documentary. Mike wasn’t scared, he was confused.
Mike was confused. Like Mike had always been he was oblivious.
Vecna hissed at this, his claw-like hand retreating from Will’s head. Just after Will saw Vecna vanish, he passed out in his own mind. Not fully relaxing, but set on what he hoped to do. Express himself.
…
The silence was nothing new to Will, but this particular silence felt wrong. Someone needed to talk, it wasn’t just awkward, it was like the silence was stinging.
Stinging. Like Henry’s claw.
Stinging. Like all of those fights him and Mike had had over the years.
Will didn’t want to talk first, and maybe years of friendship paid off, because Mike saw this.
“Will, you are one of the bravest people I know.”
Huh? That was a surprise. Will had never seen himself as brave, just as—logical, even if logic wasn’t exactly right all the time.
Mike’s glint in his eyes was dimming slightly, but something about it didn’t feel bad to Will. Mike looked scared, scared to speak. Will knew a lot about being scared. He had been downright terrified today, but now Mike looked the same.
Mike took a deep breath, and his eyes shown brighter than before.
Will nodded, urging him on.
“Lately I haven’t been able to shake this—this feeling.” Mike almost scowled. To himself, not Will.
Will listened intently. He starred into Mike’s eyes, they were drawing away from Will.
Scared.
Why was Mike scared?
Will took a step forward, sitting on the ground of the garage. Mike followed suit, and they sat there for a few moments.
This was a familiar silence, but nonetheless it felt like it hadn’t happened before.
Mike paused for longer than normal. Will spoke. “Like.. like in what way..?” Will murmured. His voice was soft and grounding, padding for whatever Mike was about to say. “What way was this..feeling?” He added, putting his hands between them.
Mike looked up and Will saw his eyes. Gentle tears were trickling down Mike’s face, matching the silence that flooded the dark garage. Will’s gaze softened, and Mike sniffled.
Will couldn’t remember the last time he saw Mike cry. Mike never cried. Mike rarely showed his anger or sadness, if ever.
Will did know that when he did, it was intense.
“The feeling of like—like wanting something you can’t have.” Mike sighed, continuing. His breath was shaky and cracking. Cracking like glass. “Wanting to be with someone, but thinking—or knowing they don’t want the same.” Will’s brows furrowed and he turned away for a second. What was that supposed to mean?
Will rehearsed what Mike had just said. His tone, his voice, the pure struggle in the way he thought through the words. It felt too familiar to Will.
Why was Mike’s struggles so familiar to Wills? Well that’s what he thought anyway.
Will looked Mike up and down once more. His eyes were glittered with tears, and his breathing was fragile like glass. The way his eyebrows knitted scared Will, it made him feel as if Mike and him were reflecting off each other. But they couldn’t, no, they were so different. Mike liked girls and Will didn’t. That was how it had always been.
Mike’s back was stiff, and he looked incredibly uncomfortable in more ways than one. But something in his fixated look was hopeful. It was small, though.
Will started small.
“Here.” Will’s arm reached forward and pulled Mike’s arms off his backpack. Will placed the bag beside him and brought his attention back to Mike.
Will smiled. A light smile, something he missed for years. Something that had just recently come back to him.
“It’s hard to talk when you’re physically uncomfortable.” Will sighed, a hint of humor in his voice. Mike laughed. He laughed at his joke.
One thing at a time.
Mike sighed, his blinking becoming rapid again. Will watched him intently, but softly nonetheless. Taking it slow was the best option. It was unfamiliar to Will, but it felt the best.
They sat there in silence again. Just the two of them, starring deep into each other’s eyes. Will was searching for something in Mike, and Mike was trying to give away what he was thinking nonverbally. Of course, nothing comes that easily. Everything takes time and words, and that’s what they had right now.
“Whatever you need to say, Mike, I won’t judge you.” Will assured. He knew Mike needed to be reassured or comforted. The way his breathing went wild and fragile, his tone, his body language, it all told Will what to do.
Mike blinked, looking up at Will as if he was a dog. A little black haired puppy with big brown eyes and a whimper in the back of his throat. Still, Mike was Mike.
Mike being Mike, Will knew this wouldn’t be exactly easy. With how long Mike was hiding, the whole thing would be long and they would have to tread lightly, but Will prayed it would be okay.
Will needed to ground himself too. He breathed in and out slowly, keeping himself in the moment, and paying attention to his best friend.
Mike was practically shivering. Will flipped his palm over and offered it to Mike. Will placed his hand in Will’s palm, and Will instantly warmed up.
The contact was direct, warm, reassuring for both of them, but Will felt the way Mike’s hand shook. Will felt the way that every single breath Mike made cracked and broke. Will felt Mike’s pain.
Some part of him related to that deeply, somehow. They were completely different, but still close and connected in so many ways.
“I think…” Mike began, his breath hitching. “I think I could..show you.” He paused, blinking rapidly. “Or you could see, maybe.” He added.
Will waited to see if Mike wanted to add more. He did.
“You’re pretty good at observing things.” Mike said. Will smiled, feeling Mike’s pain and sadness through their contact. Mike’s hand was now shivering faster than before, but it was still warm. Will squeezed it slightly, and the shivering returned to a steady pace.
Mike looked away for a moment, like this was too much and not enough at the same time. Will knew how hard this must have been for Mike, whatever he was telling him.
Mike turned to face Will again. He pointed to his backpack and Will turned to hold it, keeping their hands together. Will placed it on his lap and looked back at Mike. Mike nodded, and with a lot of his strength, he tapped the zipper, turning Will attention towards it.
Will slowly undid the zipper, keeping his gaze firmly on Mike. Mike sighed, opening his mouth to speak again.
“Just open it.” Mike whispered, his voice cracking. Will nodded, turning his attention towards the bag.
Slowly, Mike slid his hand out of Will’s and pulled himself firmly against the wall, moving himself away from Will. Will didn’t see him move, but he felt the pressure in the way he backed up, and Will frowned, feeling Mike’s pain as if it was his own.
Will knew what it was before he even opened it. Will reached his hand into the bag and pulled out a circular scroll of a painting. A familiar painting, a painting Will hadn’t seen in months—no, years.
Will brought his gaze up to Mike and opened the canvas. The image of the dragon brought back old memories. Some were sour, some were curious, some were more complex. Will was still confused, so he turned to Mike for an explanation.
Mike eyes were flooded with tears now, he didn’t even bother to wipe them. Will could feel himself getting sad now, but right now was about Mike, and what he felt.
“That spring.” Mike began, teeth chattering slightly now. “El sent me a letter, in that letter she told me you were—making a painting for someone.” The silence was louder than ever now. Both Will and Mike sensed it.
“A painting for someone..someone you liked.” Mike bit his lip. Hard. Will gaped, his gaze still soft, but it was of course shocked more than ever now.
Did that mean?
No, it couldn’t mean that…
Did Mike..?
Mike liked Will.
Will looked up into Mike’s eyes.
They were broken now. Or rather, waiting. Mike had realized Will knew, Will had realized Mike knew.
Mike stood up.
Quickly, as if they didn’t have time at all, Mike began to pace the width of the garage. His steps were staggered and messy, and he could fall at any moment.
This was crazy
They were crazy
…
Will remembered that day like it was yesterday, and he thought about it so much.
He never even thought that Mike would think of that random Halloween at all, but today proved that wrong.
It was a loud Halloween. It was good, until it wasn’t.
Will knew it like the back of his hand.
The air was colder than normal, the leaves were drier than normal, and Will did not feel normal.
He never did back then, hell, he didn’t even feel normal now.
But that day made him feel something pure.
Mike had told him they would go crazy together, and Will had nodded and repeated it.
Recently they hadn’t been honest with that promise. But now, it was all unfolding before them.
…
Will was crazy, Mike was crazy.
And they knew what both of them needed, reassurance.
“Mike, you idiot.” Will almost laughed those words, but his tone was tender. Mike stopped his pacing and faced Will, his eyes unsure.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I am, an idiot.” Mike scoffed, he was loud again, and was definitely getting louder.
“Not like—“ Mike clearly was on a rant.
“All of this time.. I’ve been so stupid, Will! You’re of course over me now, but I wish—I wish you weren’t.” Mike held his own bicep tight, and Will saw his nails digging into his skin, way too tight to be normal. Will watched Mike, looking for what he was getting at.
“Mike, just because—“
“DON’T TRY TO DENY IT.” Mike yelled. Will flinched. Mike was getting closer to Will now, and Will was scared. Will was scared.
Mike clenched his jaw. Tight. “Will, you’ve moved on, and I haven’t. I HAVEN’T!” Mike was tense in almost every way. Will could see how out of it he was. The truth was, Will still liked Mike. Will loved Mike, but he didn’t think it was reciprocated, did he?
Will thought in the same way, but instead of being mad when he thought Mike didn’t like him, he was quiet and sad. Right now, Will couldn’t tell what was more dangerous.
Will looked up and down Mike’s face. His eyes were violent and broken, his cheeks and nose were red with tears, and his lips were cracked and still fragile.
His lips were still fragile, shaking like earlier, on the verge of being bloody and split.
Fragility could be fixed, but broken was harder to fix than fragility.
Mike would understand, wouldn’t he?
Of course he would.
Will brought his head forward, opening his mouth slightly. As quick as he started, Will met Mike’s lips.
Almost instantly, the quivering of them stopped. Will breathed into his mouth, awkwardly tilting his head forward in a slow turn.
Mike brought his hand forward onto Will’s cheek, pulling him closer. Will sloppily pushed his lips into Mike harder, and Mike did the same, but more violent.
They drunk up the contact like cold water. It was electric, sparkling and crackling like lightning. The air around them mimicked this, it shown with emotion and strength of a close bond.
This bond wasn’t a friendship, it wasn’t just a relationship, it was a mold of the two. It was something that neither of them experienced completely before. Though it was sloppy, it represented them well. Their bond was love, and just like love it was complicated, and it definitely wasn’t platonic.
After for what felt like forever, Mike forced his tongue forward, and Will whimpered as it entered his mouth. This was different, it was like firecrackers, or fireworks, like the fourth of July or a comet in the dead of winter.
This was more electric than before. The two were inevitably connected and intertwined. It was something worth ten plus years of friendship.
It was beautiful, it was scary, and most of all it was them.
Will and Mike both liked each other.
No, Will and Mike both LOVED each other.
And love was complicated, but love was definitely everlasting.
Will wasn’t sure if he knew what this was at the time, but he had a feeling. He and Mike were finally honest, even if it wasn’t through words.
Friends don’t lie was a key in their friendship, so it would have to be a key in their relationship as well.
Lovers don’t lie either.
…
Time was fading in and out, and finally they split their kiss. A thin strand of saliva caught between them when they left, and Will giggled.
Without a beat Mike hugged Will as tight as he could. Will was shocked, but that was a popular emotion today. Will hugged him back, wrapping his arms around Mike’s soft but stiff back.
“So.. does this mean.” Mike sniffled. “You still like me?” Will laughed.
“Goddamnit, how are you still oblivious after that?”
“Maybe you‘ll have to kiss me every time I’m stupid.” Mike laughed. Will smiled, and they left the tight, tender hug.
“I wouldn’t mind that.” Mike smiled. Will smiled too.
The air was thick with something new, and Mike and Will could both sense it.
Still, it was scary to both of them as well.
But it was less scary that they would face it together. Even if it took all their strength.
It was messy, but this new thing was theirs.