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If Mike and the rest of the Party hadn't just barrelled through the MAC-Z into the Upside Down in the back of a semi-truck now beaten with bullet holes, he might have taken a moment to think about El.
He would've thought about how she seemed off ever since she came back with Kali, how Hopper didn't really have any answers, only seemed mad at El's sister, so he asked her himself. He had to. Had to get her to see the fight isn't pointless. But the reminders, the words he'd said trying to make her believe that they'd get out of this together, that they'd go far away from Hawkins — they didn't seem to land anymore. She told him that he couldn't write the ending this time, but Mike still thinks they can. As long as they're all back together. He just needs someone to believe in him.
But she told him she's ready, so Mike takes her word for it, hoping that maybe she's seeing it too. That they can do this. Of course she's ready. She's been training with Hopper for months for this moment. To finally end Vecna. They even have Kali this time too. And Max. And —
They have Will back. Because Will is writing this story too, somehow, with the hive mind and the Abyss and —
Mike looks across the truck and Will is — he's almost smiling. Rolling his eyes in annoyance in the far corner with Jonathan, but his head is ducked down with an obvious fondness in his eyes. It makes something visceral clench inside his chest, because Mike's seen this before, he felt it. Back when Will took control of those Demos — his confidence then was so fucking bright that Mike had to laugh, had to race and hug him after because he knew, he knew Will was a sorcerer — but now…after what he - what he said to all of them at the Squawk, Will looks happy. In himself. He looks free.
Mike isn't sure why it almost hurts to look at, because he should be happy too, he should be proud — and he is! Will was so brave to tell all of them that he, that he —
Maybe deep down, Mike knows that two years ago, he hated being so uncertain about where he and El stood right as the world was about to end. And here they are again, and Mike's entering the Upside Down for the first time and they're going right into the heart of the lion's den. Vecna is going to try to destroy their world by merging it with the Abyss. He should be taking a moment to think about El, it should be like old habits. But they haven't — they haven't been like that in so long.
And he's formed new habits, like being best friends with Will again, having D&D night at his house and — and this time around, he's more untethered by the newfound light and relief in Will's eyes. So, all he can really think about are the same words on a loop:
"And I, uh, I had this…this crush on someone, even though I know…I know they're not like me."
— and — and —
Mike finds a stone lodged in his throat with every bump the truck goes over, hoping no one else sees that maybe it's been shoved there for years, trying to claw up, and thinks,
How do I get there? — How do I get there—
He wants to be brave.
~~~~
The Party separates early on.
Hopper and Murray go with El and Kali to the lab, walkies on so they could talk to Max and Erica (and now Mr. Clark) back in Hawkins. The rest of them made it to the roof of the WSQK and Steve's batshit beanstalk plan actually seems like it's going to work.
At first, they can all see it — the start of rifts crackling, strange matter orbs brewing above their heads. It's clear that Vecna's already started his plan. And then the rifts start widening until they burst open like lightning, a wide window to a vast, red flashing darkness, full of Demogorgons and strange matter and who knows what else hovering above them.
Mike's stunned and still at the sky torn open, how it gets closer to the top of the radio tower, knowing they still had so much to climb — they still had to get to the top, go there —
"Now, now! We gotta move now!" Dustin yells and climbs faster up the radio tower. Robin and Steve follow closely behind him. Nancy's shotgun is slung over her back and she says nothing but Mike could've sworn she hates heights and he feels a pang of sympathy for her.
"I- He's getting closer. I can feel him," Will grits, each breath punched out like a warning as he climbs up another rung. Mike tries not to look up again, because then he might not be able to pretend he isn't scared of what's there, even though he needs to be brave, he's supposed to be Mike the Brave.
But Will is right. The Abyss moves quickly, red tendrils of exotic matter swirling, sliding down to them with far too much ease. It doesn't reach the top of the radio tower yet but something feels wrong and —
He makes the mistake of looking down. Joyce is below them with Jonathan, her eyes widening at something and like a catastrophe waiting to happen because she grabs Jonathan's jacket and Mike's right foot slips.
He doesn't have time to think — jolts forward and — Will's hand is already there under his arm, in a bruising grip and giving Mike just enough time to steady his feet on the metal bars. He's about to thank Will for saving his life — Jesus, again —
But it doesn't matter. It happens too fast.
"HANG ON! HANG —" But Dustin's scream comes too late.
They're falling.
They're all falling.
~~~~
Or maybe it's really like they're being pulled up. Like puppets on a string or a bungee chord. Jerked mid-air in the wrong direction — Nobody even gets the first breath to scream, wind knocked from their lungs as they're suddenly dangling on an upside down radio tower.
"MOM!!" Will's shout is hoarse and Mike looks up in relief to see her and Jonathan hanging onto the roof's doorway.
"I'm okay! I'm okay!" she calls back to Will. "Just hang on, okay?! Do not let go!"
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dustin swears, looking below them into the fiery red plane that they could now fall into.
"Henderson!" Steve says in warning, needing a new plan, stat.
"We're upside down. In the Upside Down. Great. Please tell me there's a nerdy science answer for how to get us out of this," Robin's shaky voice echoes, tries not to crumble.
Mike's brow furrows. They flipped. They flipped.
"We still have to get to Holly," Nancy answers, doing her best to ignore the setback.
"The bath! El's bath in the lab — she can't —" Dustin realizes something, his breath hitching even from here. "He's not merging. He flipped the bridge. Hawkins is —"
"Mike."
He finds Will's eyes, hardened and sure, and a breath leaves him, because it's like they both know. If El can't get to Vecna in his mind, then Will still needs to try. Still needs to get to Vecna through the hive. And this time, Mike has enough time to think and reaches.
And Will lets go.
~~~~
Mike coughs when they land on some kind of solid ground, wrongly assuming he'd gotten used to being thrown around these last few weeks. He knows his ribs ache all over, both his knees tingling from the fall, and his fingers are still digging into Will's arm. He lets go before he blinks his eyes open, bringing his elbow to his face until his coughs finally subside.
Will's on the ground next to him, flat on his back. He groans when he comes to, and then his eyes blink open. He's in shock and… angry?
Well — Mike can live with that.
If Will can decide he's going to get sucked up into the Abyss to face Vecna, into the hivemind, then Mike can decide there's no way in hell he's going alone.
"That was — That — Mike, why did you do that?!" But Will doesn't sound angry, no, he sounds hurt, confused. "You don't even — That was reckless."
Mike doesn't care, affronted, "So was letting go!"
"The others were going to let go too!" Will shouts and then he's scoffing, rolling his eyes, like it's familiar that Mike's gotten them into another mess. "And we all would have had to deal with our - our past, but you grabbed me."
Huh? "Huh?"
"Didn't you hear Dustin? The bridge. It flipped."
"Yeah, so —" Mike stops, eyes widening, getting it. "Hawkins is above us."
"And we won't be able to just go back the way we came," Will says somberly. "I think it's his game."
"Vecna's?" Mike asks, bewildered. His eyes dart around him. They're in the thick of the woods, sun peeking through the shadows of the leaves, birds chirping. Mike flicks a twig still stuck to his pants and spots two bikes on the ground in the corner of his eye, barely visible, barely showing up from under the brush. The smell of blueberries reaches him and his blood turns cold.
He knows, he knows even before Will is about to explain.
"He wants to trap us here, all of us, like he never could before. Because maybe he knows now that we can travel out of our memories, out of his mind, like Max did, but getting out of the Abyss? It would mean - would mean -"
"It would mean a direct gate for everything in the Abyss to get into Hawkins," Mike finishes for him, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. They were all going to have to fall eventually but Mike — Mike grabbed Will.
Will frowns when he takes in where they are and Mike prays on every D&D campaign that he doesn't —
"That's weird," Will scrunches his face, his eyes finding Mike's and Mike does everything he can to school his expression, raising an eyebrow and shrugging curiously.
"Maybe we're in his mind already," Mike shrugs, the suggestion falling off his tongue. The lie that could so easily roll over him.
"I don't think so," Will frowns, shaking his head. Then, to Mike's horror, he starts walking closer to what Mike didn't want him to find. Mike scrambles for something to say. They still need to figure out what they're going to do, how they'll get back to Hawkins without breaking the only barrier keeping it from being swallowed whole. They still need the bridge, or what's left of it and —
"Wait!" Mike exclaims and Will turns immediately. "Vecna. You said he called you a builder."
"And you called me a sorcerer. What's your point?" But Will is patient with him, already knows there is a point, already heard it in the way Mike called out.
"My point is maybe you are! Maybe you're both. And maybe you could flip the bridge back!" Mike second guesses himself, "Or I don't know? Build a new one? What do you think Dustin would say about two wormholes?"
Will considers it, tilting his head, but then shakes it in disagreement. "Vecna reminded me they're his powers, not mine. There's no way he wouldn't figure us out."
His mouth presses itself together, regret washing over him that they don't have a better plan, a way out. But Will waves it off.
"We're not anywhere near the hive anyways. I stopped feeling him as soon as we came here. So," Will lets out a breath, heavy and weighted. "I don't know." And then he's moving again, walking and Mike has no choice but to stay close. "I think we need to find our way out of this memory first, but I don't even know —"
Will stops walking. "But I do know. I do know this place."
Fuck. Mike waits. And waits. But Will doesn't wait and walks ahead of him, seeing their bikes, confusion on his face. And Mike really should just say it, because maybe it's not that big of a deal —
"Huh. Weird," Will says softly to himself when he crouches down and touches the handlebars.
"What's weird?" Mike asks, hoping there isn't a nervous edge to it. But there's a hint of pink on Will's face and he suddenly doesn't seem so eager to meet his eyes, smiling avoidantly.
"I — I — I know where we are," Will's hand comes to the back of his neck as he stands, rubbing nervously. He seems upset and surprised in the same breath, "It's just — Vecna's never used this memory of mine before."
Water rushes over his head. So do those same words that were on a loop earlier.
"And I, uh, I had this…this crush on someone, even though I know…I know they're not like me."
"Oh, uh," Mike opens and closes his mouth a few times and Will frowns but he's not looking at Mike anymore. "Maybe he's trying to keep you on your toes. But we can get out, Will, we can."
"I don't know that I know the way," Will shakes his head. "He uses your worst moments against you. This is…this is a happy memory."
A happy —
The stone in Mike's throat makes a reappearance and gets stuck there.
Because why wouldn't it be a happy memory for Will? After all, they like almost all the same things, like getting lost in the woods.
Except Mike remembers getting lost, finding the wild blueberry patch, the two of them laughing and daring each other to eat berries until they got sick and — Will, with purple lips and hands, making Mike so, so happy that he never ever wanted to be with anyone else — and why would anyone ever need girls — and then he heard the kids at school who were already starting to tease them for being freaks — and his father's face loomed over his paper at the table, not looking at him, eyes empty, "You need more friends than just Will. It's not normal." — and the ugliest, the ugliest feeling that lodged itself in him, where Mike first learned to push it down.
He should be saying something, coming up with a plan to get them out of there, or even guessing that it's still one of Vecna's tricks, that maybe Vecna is just twisting a happy memory into something cruel, except — Will's staring at him without waiting for a response, just looking and Mike's eyes dart away, too soon, too obvious.
"Mike?" He says it so, so carefully but Mike still feels like he quietly turns to dust at the sound of his name. "Are we in your memory?"
Laughter breaks out. It's faint but it's palpable and Mike's head turns toward the sound. Knows they found the blueberries.
"We might be, yeah," Mike doesn't take his eyes off the forest, too afraid now to look at Will.
"I'm so sorry."
What? His head snaps to Will, and finds that Will wasn't looking at him anyways, his head turned away, hiding. And it's familiar. Awful. Mike's heart beats loud in his ears. He's the one who lied about his own memory. "Sorry? For what?" He can't stamp down the incredulity in his voice. Will. Apologizing for something that Mike did, something he couldn't keep a lid on, something that was always, always wrong with —
"It's not happy," Will shrugs his left shoulder and Mike isn't sure when they started standing together, staring at the trail that they knew would take them to the patch in the forest, where they'd find the two of them eating as many berries as their 8 year old hands could hold. "For you. And I — I'm sorry if I made it that way. Because of what I said."
Mike hears something more, like sadness, longing. And maybe he's heard it before, but he's allowed to now, because Will told them he doesn't like girls and he's going to think Mike hates him, but he doesn't. He doesn't.
"You didn't," Mike finally answers, swallowing when Will looks at him with surprise and uncertainty. And fuck, they're already here. And Will is going to think — "You don't have anything to be sorry for. Look, they're my memories, and yeah, you - you might be in some of them, but they're — it's not —"
"It's not my fault you don't like girls!"
Mike's breath hiccups on that stone, but he's adamant, desperate even that Will understands. "It's not your fault." It's mine. It's mine. I couldn't be — Mike swallows after, hoping it's enough.
Will's face scrunches, a crease between his brows as he tries to see any sign of a lie in Mike's words, but he stays quiet, then he just — just sighs, like Mike worrying him is another Tuesday. "Okay. Fine. In that case, are you going to lead us out of here or what?"
So Mike leads. Even though Will would probably know the way too. Even though Will watches him that much more carefully when his jaw tenses at seeing his younger self with a young Will. Even though Will looks at their younger selves closer too, like he's trying to pick apart what made this memory so bad that Vecna would show it to Mike.
And Mike can't just ask him to stop, because the only way out is through.
He wordlessly parts the blueberries and the door is there, leading them into another memory, the faint scent of cinnamon sticks and ham. He hesitates before going in. They're really doing this. He feels dizzy, terrified of possibility, of never getting back to Hawkins — or worst of all, being fucking stuck here in his mind because he doesn't even know — what they'll find or how many times he shoved something away, like breathing, like — like swallowing stones.
~~~~
It's not all happy. And Mike feels a weird relief that Will isn't there. Not in the beginning.
It starts with a Christmas family dinner. The Byers were out of town, hunting upstate with one of Lonnie's relatives and Mike didn't have time to worry about when Will was coming back because his family suffocated him. His mom was off with his aunts in the kitchen, getting more of her 'fancy' juice that made her eyes glassy but her smile wider. Holly was crying while Nancy tried to calm her down with one of her dolls. Nancy rolled her eyes, huffing when it didn't work and all Mike really remembers is she wouldn't stop painting her nails and slamming the door in his face those days.
And Mike, at nine years old, sat with his little cousins not far away from the men, catching whiffs of cigar smoke, bored out of his mind as they talked about the office and his cousin picks his nose.
Mike glances at Will, confusion over his face, "I —"
Will's eyes meet his, concern in every fleck of hazel, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"I don't even know why we're here — like sure, we know my family can be annoying, but I —"
And then the voices amplify. Mike may have been sitting there bored out of his mind with a Rubik's cube in his hand, thinking that he wasn't listening, thinking that he was only going to pay as much attention to his dad as he gave Mike.
"You hear what happened to Murtgaugh?"
"I heard he got sacked. They found out he marched on Washington. Then he got mugged on the way home." And they laughed. They laughed.
"Serves him right for being a fag—"
"Language! There's kids here."
Mike looks at himself with a frown, looks at the way he perks up, his dad finally acknowledging his presence after what felt like forever of hearing old people drone on and on.
But maybe he heard the word before his father had a chance to chime in, and maybe he realized his dad wasn't so scary, not by himself. He never even really shouts at them. Not in the way that he never wanted to, but like he knew the energy it would take was a waste and better spent on reminding them to be proper, perfect. It's lame, but it's not scary. The world though —
"Speaking of — Michael, take your cousins to back to their mother."
"But I -"
"Don't argue with me." Bored, back to monotone. Mike rolled his eyes and got up as asked.
Mike barely remembers this being bad. He doesn't. But not even his Dad being who he is, perfect in picture and normal, kept him safe from the demogorgon. He's still lying in a hospital bed and Mike hasn't even bothered to think about him, not really, because why would he? It would be a waste.
He thinks his heart is better spent on Holly, his mom, and Nancy, his friends, and —
There's a warm hand on his shoulder and Mike swears that he doesn't mean to flinch, his heart clenching — But the damage is done and Will instantly pulls away, not looking at him, regretting it.
No, no, come back!
"So, I…I push you away and for the rest of us, we just drift apart more and more and more and more until I'm alone."
Mike is finding it harder to breathe, because he doesn't want to do this, but they don't have a choice. And Mike can't be the one to keep putting that look on Will's face, like Will is trapped in it, alone — not when he looked so different earlier, so —
"Sorry," he says quickly, "You just - you caught me off guard."
"Mike, it's okay. Look, at first I thought - I thought we landed in my memory. And I was - I was so scared of what you might see —" There's an ease that comes when Will starts telling the truth, his eyes are shining with tears but there's a smile on the corner of his lips and Mike inhales deeply. "But then, I thought, if I really made my peace with - with —" He doesn't finish, glancing and using his eyes to talk, to say, 'You know, that crush on you I mentioned?'. Mike gets it, knows Will too well to not hear his sentences. But it makes his heart stutter, because Will is still talking like it was nothing to Mike, like it's done with, "Then I'd be glad that you're here. Because we're still a team. Right?"
Mike shakes his head, and because Will is so damn attuned to him anyways, he does stop, sees how Mike's brows creased and his lips pursed. Sees how Mike is afraid.
"No. I mean, yes, we are a team. But, it's - it's just not over yet," Mike answers, hopes it comes off like the warning it is. Because why would Will still want to be his friend? What if he sees it? That — that ugly thing that Mike's been kept locked away? What if he hears that voice too, finds out that he's sick. But Mike can fix it, he can —
But Will is suddenly looking at him like he's grown two heads, he even laughs and it shouldn't sound so bright here. "Oh, come on, after what I said back there, it's not like you're going to lose me," he says, his voice pitching up in that incredulous way, like it's funny that Mike even thinks it's possible.
Even Mike has to give him that, relaxing just a fraction, because yeah, yeah, what he said was crazy. Good crazy, for Will, but it's different. He opens his mouth to tell Will that he isn't - isn't that way but it's fine that Will is.
He shuts it. Because Will is smiling again, like he's so sure of himself, and says, "Look, they're just memories, the past. And we need to keep moving. Where's the door, Mike?"
Mike nods solemnly, lets his instincts take over.
They find him hiding out in his room, burying himself in a book he'd bought and spending the rest of Christmas going unnoticed just like he wanted.
It was a book about a game, a game Mike already dragged Will into. They just needed to find a few more players, then they could have more friends, and then maybe Will wouldn't get picked on so much at school. That night, he started his very first campaign.
Mike picks up his notebook and the wooden frame collapses, the desk caving into the floor to show the next doorway, wider than the last, and the sirens are already blaring into his ears.
Will jumps first this time, and there's no time — Mike's heart stays in his throat and he follows.
~~~~
Even though Mike is somewhat uncertain of what they'll run into, he's got plenty of guesses he's not wrong about. The body being pulled out of the quarry, for one, and Will, next to him, trying to keep the awe out of his voice when he said, "It's so weird seeing — it's weird not seeing me here."
Mike doesn't tell him how it felt. How up until that moment, he believed Will was okay, that they would find him — but they let the scene play out, Mike yelling at Eleven, running away, running home. Will doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to.
~~~~
"My knees hurt," Mike groans when they land on harder ground, but he straightens up quickly, breath caught, because it's too quick, too intense immediately —
"Troy, I don't think this is a good idea, man."
"Mike, DON'T!" Dustin screaming, trying wriggle free out of Troy's grasp, the knife at his throat. And Mike taking a step to the edge.
Will gasps next to him, looking wildly at Troy, who starts his countdown.
"Dentist's office opens in five…"
Mike remembers telling himself it would be easier to find Will that way.
"Four!"
That if Will wasn't really attacked by a demogorgon, then he must have jumped after something in the quarry, because he wouldn't — he wouldn't leave Mike.
"Three!"
Dustin was in danger anyways, and they couldn't find El, who was supposed to help them find Will and —
"Two!"
— and he thought if Will ended up in the quarry, then he should go there too —
And it's just a memory and Mike didn't — he didn't —
"MIKE!!"
"One!"
And he stepped off.
"MIKE!" Will roars, startling Mike with how he breaks into a run towards the edge and it's not real, but Mike's eyes widen in fear and something — something stronger, his heart pounding loud inside his chest trying to beat a stone out of him — because Will ran before his scream was cut off, before the boys could even skid to the edge to see what happened. Mike already knew that he'd be floating mid-air, but Will — Will doesn't seem to care about that, whips around, his eyes filling up, red and stormy.
He's stalking towards Mike and Mike's eyebrows lift in surprise, body frozen in place because holy shit, Will is furious, shaking and getting closer —
"I didn't die," Mike lifts his hands up weakly, as weak as the excuse he's given because Will just scoffs, but Mike sees that he's crying, tears on his cheeks and Mike feels sick again, feels that voice coming up right now but he didn't die. He didn't die.
"That's — that's not the point," Will deflates, looking at Mike absolutely bewildered, and Mike thinks maybe he's starting to see it — why Mike is sick, why he'll never be good enough or normal enough unless he's standing next to Will — because that way he could hide behind him. He could find all the reasons to be brave for their friends.
As long as Will was there too. Alive.
"C'mon," Mike avoids his eyes, because Will is sad again, and he can't risk seeing the disappointment, seeing Will want his honesty, and Mike, unable to give him more than that. They're fine. They're alive now, right? "We have to jump."
He pales, holding his breath when they're at the edge, hands jittering at his side. The door isn't obvious to them like before. Vecna wants him to do it again. He wants Mike to remember why he should have, why it wouldn't have been a big deal —
Will's hand comes back under his arm, eyes full of — kind sympathy and - and more. The kind of more Mike never let himself look at too closely, because it was foolish, because why would Will want Mike whose heart is weak? Who needs someone stronger than him around or he's nothing, he won't — he won't beat the same — and Mike starts to wonder if he's always hated that about himself or if it grew. But they are friends again — best friends, despite those words tasting differently the past year, like — like a reminder to be careful, and not just hang on for dear life so he wouldn't lose Will after California — and Will is there, sees him, silently asking if he's ready.
Mike can breathe. Nods. Thinks, See? This is what I mean.
He can't do it without Will.
And just before they jump, Mike says:
"I was just trying to find you."
~~~~
It gets worse when Will isn't missing anymore.
Will stops asking him things, going quiet with his face like if he could think hard enough, he could piece together what Mike doesn't want him to. For the longest time, he's done everything he can to make sure the pieces wouldn't fit.
But he can't hide it. He can't hide the Snow Ball, how Will looked at him for guidance after a girl asked him to dance, the way he felt caught, reacted, pushing Will to dance with her. Can't hide how he watched them with that look in his eye that he wished wasn't so obvious — so pathetic —
He can't hide their fight in the garage, and that awful, awful thing he said that made Will run away, how he went back inside and went in the bathroom and felt like he couldn't breathe — or — or later, after El and Will moved away, when he stayed behind and started putting on ridiculous outfits to reinvent himself.
As if there could still be something there that wasn't hollow, surface-level — as if he wasn't just pretending that Hawkins didn't dissipate into something meaningless. Everywhere Mike went, there was something missing. But he kept getting the busy tone, he kept getting comfortable with the stone finally shoved all the way down, resting dormant in his heart, knowing Will was alive but he lost him again anyways.
And he thought maybe it was better that way, easier to keep up the lie that life keeps moving even though Will isn't right next to him, and then somehow it was easier to talk about his long distance girlfriend at dinner even though his Dad looked at him twice, but he did it. He kept that voice in the back of his head quieter than ever, subdued.
But then he can't hide the letter El sent him — the one that mentioned a painting — and Will narrowing his eyes at him, suddenly discerning in a way that made Mike instantly nauseous, pacing quickly to snatch the letter and haul them forward to the next memory, the intercom about flight arrival times loud in their ears. Then it's how Mike wouldn't hug him — how he asked about the painting. Or how he watched Will at the Roller Rink more than his own girlfriend, couldn't even tell that she was lying to him. How Will stopped him in his tracks and Mike reminded himself that they were friends — how he didn't go after El when she stormed out of dinner because of what he said, and finally, how the next morning, Will insisted they all stay home that day — giving Mike a chance to fix things. So Mike tried to fix things. And Will — Will sees —
"It doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter. I…I care for you…so much."
"'Care.' But you don't…you don't love me anymore?"
"What…who…who said that I didn't?"
Still, El went with Dr. Owens so soon into his visit and — the more Will was around, the more Mike settled back into something more familiar, something more like himself. It wasn't — wasn't so dormant anymore, wasn't locked away.
If they don't stay in any of it too long - if they just keep moving, maybe Mike could keep ignoring the way the stone sits on the back of his tongue now, blocking off air supply like he could still deny it, even though they're getting closer and closer and —
He might know. Already.
~~~~
"Well, once we save her —El — we should stop on the way back. El could make us, like, super rich, and we'd never have to work. We could just play D&D and Nintendo for the rest of our lives."
"Yeah. Totally." He looked away, believed that they wrote it out of the story. That he shut down the thought of being in his basement, playing D&D for the rest of their lives when he got a girlfriend but Will was there — saying it again and it sounded so much better than it did before, like everything he actually wanted now that they could be best friends again, but still so — so out of reach — so impossible.
Mike's known this was coming the moment he smelled blueberries, so he just sighs heavily, daring to look and see what he's done now. Will looks both nervous and hurt again. His mouth is gaping, darting between them in the van and back to Mike, almost uncomfortable as he tries to hold himself together.
"I - I thought this was my secret. I — Did you know?" He glances to Mike, betrayed that Mike had — had kept quiet.
Mike shakes his head, regretful, uncertain, "No, no, I — Not - not exactly. Not…yet," Mike confirms, meeting his eyes head-on, seeing Will embarrassed, afraid. Mike understands. He's afraid too, palms sweating as Will stands by his side through all of it, never getting angry but questioning, needing to know Mike the way that Mike's always needed to know him.
"Not yet? So what, you just - you never said —"
Mike huffs, and it's a tad defensive, because it's not like he means to keep hurting Will. He just does it. Naturally. There's just too much he's never said. And he's trying — he's trying.
"No, no, it's — it's complicated," Mike begs, putting a hand on Will's shoulder like that might connect them more. Will's eyes are already trying to meet him halfway with the - the same sympathy and kindness he always has for Mike, even when he shouldn't, even when Mike's being an asshole. But Mike is hoping, just for once, and says, "Just — just look. Look at me." Try to see it. See that it's my fault and not yours. It could never be yours.
"This one's about my lie," Mike admits, holding a hand up to his heart like it might explain.
Will appears stunned by that, following Mike's hand and taking it in with a slow nod. Mike swallows, drops his hand to his side. Will is still wary, but he finally tunes in, watches Mike in the van.
"But…But what if after all this is over, she…" Mike had looked out the window, a hint of a smile, remembered being almost relieved at the thought — "She doesn't need me anymore?" And the way he looked at Will, waiting for his answer, waiting for what he might think about that — what he might —
But Will slipped into the role of his best friend, exasperated and ready to comfort him, "No, o-of course she'll still need you. She'll always need you, Mike."
"I…I keep telling myself that, but I —" Mike shrugged, and it was so easy to say, "I don't believe it." He really didn't. What he was unsure of was how exactly he could lead the Party when he'd done it with El for so long so maybe — "I mean, she's special. She was born special. Maybe I was one of the first people to realize that." Mike, Dustin and Lucas all saw her powers at the same time. "But the truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It's not fate. It's…it's not destiny. It's just simple dumb luck. And one day she's gonna realize I'm just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman —" Oh. Mike forgot that. "— landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet, right? But…" Mike stopped talking about El when he saw that Will wasn't looking at him, huffed a laugh and apologized. "Sorry."
"No -"
"No, i-it's so stupid, given everything that's going on. It's just…I…I don't know, I just — Uh —"
"You're scared of losing her." Exactly. Especially because, maybe in that moment, Mike realized that they should probably break up, that he doesn't —
"Oh," Will says beside him, his tone considering, head tilted almost sideways when he finally clocks it. "You…you realized you don't love El?"
Yeah. Yeah. Mike's heart breaks, and some truth finally comes out, "It didn't matter though. Then you showed me the painting and you - you said she commissioned it — so I thought - I thought maybe she lied to me and — and back then, I thought if El did all that, then I must — I must be the worst boyfriend in the world. And I couldn't ever seem to get it right with her, not even telling her that I loved her. Because like you said, it's — it's scary to open up like that and maybe I never really did with her, you know? But you - you were telling me all those nice things she said to you about me, and it's like I — I knew El didn't say those things. Not in a bad way, just —" Mike shakes his head, frustrated with himself, "I never meant to but I know I made her feel like a monster. I mean, you saw —"
"But I said you made her feel like she's not a mistake at all," Will says in awe, letting it dawn on him.
Mike purses his lips, nods. "Yeah. And it made me wonder, but I still didn't know you were — I mean, maybe I did! Maybe I did know that you were saying it through her but I didn't know why you felt you had to and I guess I was just — I was just happy you would always need me. And it seemed like - like you wanted me and El to stay together. You literally shoved me at the bath. Telling me I'm the heart!" He exclaims in a rush, but it's not an excuse — it's not — it's not Will's fault.
"But why wouldn't you just - just tell me you didn't want to be with El anymore?" Will asks in disbelief, like Mike made no sense to him and Mike hates this feeling, like he's slipping away. "Why tell her you loved her if you —"
"She was dying! And you shoved me!" Mike says again, and he knows it's stupid, but — he thought it was what Will wanted. "And I still — I still wanted to help, I still loved her even if — you know what I mean," Mike finishes, resigned and shaking his head, "I already know I shouldn't have done that. She — we talked about it."
"But there's still something you're not telling me, isn't there?" Will asks, narrowing his eyes at Mike and crossing his arms. "You have a lot of memories, Mike, and I've — I've been watching you. You hate every second of this, like you didn't want — didn't want me to see — didn't think I could handle that — that what? You don't love El? That it's — it's fine if I'm different but - but god forbid, someone says that about you? Are we really still a team, if you'll just— you'll leave when someone sees you hanging out with me and says you're queer too — says that you and I are both freaks —"
"Shut up!" Mike grabs him, and it's not rough but it's not gentle either, and their eyes track it. The way Mike leaps again, always reaching for Will, even if he can't bear the truth. He lets go, taken aback by his own reaction, and tries to calm down by breathing or they would never make it out of here. "Just…stop it. I — I told you, remember? I told you it's not your fault."
Will seemed to forget that, but he doesn't buy it, shaking his head, "Then how could it be yours?" He doesn't wait for an answer, and Mike doesn't have one. Will looks over to the two of them in the van.
Mike sees himself, as expected, looking over the painting with wonder, how he briefly glanced at Will who was turned away — and crying. Hand pressed into his mouth to keep his sobs quiet and Mike stares with an ache in his chest, because he had no idea Will was crying like that — and he keeps finding out he made Will sad and - and it shouldn't make him feel like the bottom of a barrel, water sloshing over his head again and he drowns, drowns — because he's always been an idiot, he knows that, but he wondered once if the more he hurt Will, the more he could shove it all away for good.
It's a floodgate of pieces. Memories that he doesn't even need Vecna to show him, early and quick, like the first pebbles thrown.
—
"You see, Michael? You see what happens?"
"What happens when what?! I'm the only one acting normal here! I'm the only one that cares about Will!"
—
"You don't want it closed?"
"No."
"Oh, so you can speak."
—
"What is friend?"
"Someone you would do anything for."
—
"If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Mike, seriously?"
"What?"
"You look at her all, like… Hi, El! El, El, El, I love you so much! Would you marry me?"
"Shut up, Lucas."
—
"Will's in fairyland now, flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"
—
"No! Screw you, Mike! You're blind, blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you. But wake up, man! Wake the hell up!"
—
"I asked you to be my friend and - and you said yes. You said yes. And it was the best thing I've ever done."
—
"And I, uh, I had this…this crush on someone, even though I know…I know they're not like me."
—
And yeah, he —
He knows the next one is the last, and slides the van door open. Because as much as he's used to it, comforted with pretending — he longs to be brave.
~~~~
It's a quiet one.
Important all the same.
He wishes he could say that it was Will stopping 3 demogorgons or Will looking at him when he'd said what he said at the WSQK, but it starts when Hawkins gets quarantined, blocked off from the rest of the world and — and the Byers have moved in.
It starts off — it starts off happy.
The whole house was asleep but Mike sat on his bed with a small, soft smile on his face.
For one, his relationship with El had been over for almost a month.
She called him over the walkie after they'd all collectively cleaned Hopper's cabin. Asked if they could talk, and Mike had sat up, eagerly listened. When he started to figure out what she was doing, he — he panicked again, offered to come over there so they could talk in person. She said no. She said what he told her — when she was in the bath facing Vecna — it didn't work, that it never would work. And Mike felt surprised and still — that same relief —
And maybe he was just tired enough, now that the Upside Down made its way into Hawkins, to finally admit that he already had a feeling. Even if he didn't know what that feeling was, it didn't matter. He was happy they could still be friends and promised he still wouldn't let anything happen to her, just like all those years ago when he found her. He thought he could hear her smile before telling him goodbye. It was so much simpler than Mike expected it would be, amicable. It was easier to be friends.
But he still let everyone assume they were still together.
Mike wasn't ready to talk about it just yet anyways. He didn't want the questions about why they broke up over the walkie, no less, or — or why he didn't cry about it, or why it felt so much easier to breathe, like he wasn't suffocating anymore.
He just wanted to stay there, in that feeling.
Because his best friend was back too. And Mike was the happiest about that.
So — so that's why Will was asleep with Jonathan in the basement and Mike — Mike was happy, alone, dragging out a painting to look — to sit on his bed with that — that awe stuck on his face.
Will's eyes keep darting to him and back to the bed, and maybe he sees the way Mike looked at the painting —
The way he looked at details that El would never know, knowing that he could still remember every word Will said to him in the pizza van. His fingers trailed over the coat of arms, the heart, and it's like he knew then. Knew that Will was the only one who saw him that way. That Will has been reminding Mike to be brave without really trying for so long and Mike — Mike just needed Will to stay this time. And he was having a nice, quiet night, but he wasn't stupid. And he kept thinking and thinking and feeling something big, something in - in every brushstroke.
Because he'd already loved Will's art for years, holding onto every piece like treasure he didn't deserve. And it just started to snowball, like he knew then, he knew that Will felt that way but he didn't know why it made him feel the way it did — or - or why Will would put so much effort into something for - for someone like him — or Will — being lost without him, the same way Mike had felt lost, trying to fit himself in a Hawkins without Will Byers.
And Mike tried to contain it, he really did, but he jolted up, leaving the painting on the bed so he could run to the bathroom. His heart was in his throat, trying to leap out as he panicked, gasping for air.
It's like that for a few minutes.
But his past self does breathe again, stands there with his hands in a deathly grip on the counter, holding himself upright as he stared in the mirror because he knew then — he knew —
Mike doesn't even realize he's shaking, holding his fists clenched at his sides until he sees Will in his peripheral, stumbling on which version of Mike he wants to reach out to.
Something about it — it makes Mike feel better. There's no one he trusts more, really.
"Fuck."
It's the only thing Mike's said, but it's enough to make something hot fall down his cheek — When did I start — but he hears Will sniffle at the same time and it's like a balm somehow and he almost wants to laugh.
Surely Will gets it now.
That Mike all those months ago knew that he would never be someone Will deserved. That he'd already spent so long hating that he was different, thinking that if he didn't try to be - to be normal — then Will might - might catch it from him. But still, Mike could never really figure out how to separate himself. He's always been protective, at Will's side, only ready to take on the world because for some reason, Will kept wanting to be his friend. But the painting made him see that — if Will was like that, then surely everyone — surely everyone could see that — see that Mike was —
Mike's breath came shorter and the panic came again in waves. The memories also came for the first time that night too. He spent the whole night awake, only to decide that —
That it didn't matter — it didn't. Because even if Will - If Will felt the same as him, it just made it more terrifying. How were they supposed to hide then? Maybe Will's had things said about him, mouthbreathers wasting space, but maybe Mike — Mike felt like they were saying it to him too, in a way, and it was all just hateful, stupid. But that voice in his head made itself known. And then he tried to so hard to make sure no one had any reason to think the same. He didn't want anyone wasting their breath on him. (They would anyways. But not for that.)
And Mike stayed silent in the bathroom, three in the morning at the Wheeler house, because he knew he could still ruin everything, and he - he didn't want to. Not right when he'd finally gotten everything back. He still — he still had missed Will so much.
"I hope the painting's okay," Mike mumbles, the thought just dawning on him. Fuck, fuck, did he even check? Holly going missing just totally threw him for a loop and now Mike finds himself wishing he'd gone back to the house, grabbed more things.
"The painting?! I think it's a little late for that, Mike," Will looks at him incredulously, broadly gesturing to their surroundings and Mike straightens. Good point. "There's not another door, is there?"
Mike shares a look with Will and almost wishes he would acknowledge it first, because the stone is on his tongue now, but he answers, "I don't think so." And because it doesn't feel like - like enough, he says, "If - If there was, it'd - it'd be all of us at the Squawk, I think."
Will raises an eyebrow at him, waiting, and Mike feels something else, not a stone, not a —
It's just his heart responding to Will like it always has.
"Where you, you know," Mike gestures at the whole of him for some reason, sees his red hoodie was torn at the side and then sees Will still looking at him expectantly, like it wasn't enough and it's — it's been easier with Will for a long time —
"Where I said I don't like girls?" Will is almost smirking at him, like it's partly amusing how Mike just keeps stumbling, unable to get the words out.
But, no, no —
"Where you said you had a crush on someone." And looked at me.
Whatever smile Will almost had, disappears, dropping in favor of something cold to protect himself. And he leaves and Mike isn't sure where exactly Will thinks he's going in his memory, so he follows — and they're back in Mike's bedroom. Will keeps eyeing the painting on the bed. Mike feels it then, something loosens, and the urge to just - just say it finally makes itself known.
"I'm — I'm not like you, Will."
Will's eyes fill with tears, the mask disappearing into hurt, but he tries to downplay it, "I get it, Mike. I know you're not —"
And Mike's not saying it right, shakes his head, reaching for Will with both hands, gentle but urgent, "No, I — Will. I'm not — I'm not brave like you."
"W-what?"
Will's voice is shaking and he takes a step back, like he doesn't believe it. Like it might actually be Vecna messing with him — but it's not. Mike is the cruel one — the one who kept it all locked away — who can't —
Will looks down at Mike's hands around his wrists and his eyes are red in the corners, but maybe Will needs to know now. Maybe there really is no more time. And if Mike can't do this, then — then Will might not make it out of here and he wants — he wants nothing more than for Will to live — he wants nothing but — but a chance —
"It's a lie. A stupid lie," he stands tall but every nerve in his skin is alight, "I'm not brave at all. Maybe I always want to be because - because I know I'm not. But I — I push people away too. And I thought, maybe — Maybe I just — I could pretend I didn't — that I wasn't —" Mike inhales sharply around the lump in his throat, but it doesn't stay down. His breaths come shorter and he can't look at Will anymore, the ground suddenly blurry. He's crying, he's crying, but they're — they're already here at the end of the world, right? "I know it's awful and it's - it's selfish but I - I thought you were going to keep hiding, I hoped you would because I wanted to hide too — Because — because even though I am like you, I never — I never wanted to be. I'm not brave, Will. But I tried. I tried so hard to be normal, but I - I just can't be. Especially not - not when it comes to you."
"What?" Will asks again, eyes wide as he looks at Mike who slides his hands down to hold Will's and it's — it's really soft and so nice and — and familiar, the same fluttering feeling Mike had when they were kids back inside his chest. Mike blinks in surprise, just waiting for a voice, ugly and condemning in his head —
Or for the ground crack open between them, horrifying and fast.
Mike lets go as they both jump back — Fuck, he lets go —
No, no, no —
It's not a memory or a door, it's the true Abyss: demogorgons and demobats screeching, vines entwining and crackling below them, waiting for the split to widen so they could climb out any moment. Mike looks in horror as Will meets his eyes — and there's no time but Mike thinks those words anyways — and Will, across the widening gap — Will, with that look in his eyes, like he might just dare — and before Mike can even have a chance to shout, he jumps.
NO —
Mike automatically reaches up to try and stop — but Will is crashing into him, elbows knocking into his ribs, throwing him into the ground with full force, and Mike —
Mike's never been so happy to be thrown into the ground again. He laughs and it might sound a little hysterical because Will tries to shift off him, to leave —
No. No, not anymore, Mike thinks and — and his arms close around Will, not letting him get up. And it's like he's 12 years old again and his best friend just went missing for the first time, "I'm not letting him take you, okay?"
"Mike," Will gasps, shocked but — he sounds like he might cry or laugh.
Mike's lips keep trying to smile when he doesn't mean to. And for some reason, he feels the lightest he's ever felt. He thought Will jumped to —
It doesn't matter. Will slides out of his arms and kneels and Will is — is doubting himself. Even though the only way out is in that vast, dark world.
"Mike," Will warns, but it's for him, fear in his eyes, "The hivemind — Vecna's close, we — we have to go in —"
Screw it.
"I love you," Mike says, and it's so so easy, like breathing for the first time — like something shifts, dislodges completely, and - and he's free.
Will's eyes widen, like he never ever expected —
"And you can do this, Will. I know you. I've — I've known you so long. Your powers are innate and they're good and kind and full of love because you've — you've always been that way, better than I could ever be. Let's face it, Will, I'm — I'm only the heart of the Party because you said so! And everyone probably already knows — everyone knows I'm nothing without you. I don't even think I could try to live without you, not if — not if I'd always just jump to find you. And it really, really sucked when you moved away — and you've been in my house for months and it's driving me crazy — because all I want to do is be near you and - and play D&D late into the night with you — and I love you, okay? I'm sorry, just — just — please don't — please don't leave."
"I agree," Will reassures, putting a hand on Mike's shoulder, something twinkling in his hazel eyes like he's trying not to laugh. And Mike — Mike's spent a lifetime of looking at Will without really letting himself look or catching himself and shoving it down, so it shouldn't be so — So strange to look at Will closely, but having more than a second to see the color of his lips or the beauty spot just above that always kept drawing Mike in — it's the permission that feels strange, new. Because now he lets himself want and it's not so bad, it just simultaneously reminds him that Will is everything — he's —
He… agrees?
Mike lifts his eyebrows in surprise, pretending that his heart isn't trying to beat out of his skin, "Really? With — W-which part?"
"Well, I didn't know that I've been driving you crazy," Will teases him in that way that makes Mike feel like jumbled alphabet soup, burning up, makes him look at Will's lips again. "But we…we are in your mind. And - and it's not so — it's not so unbelievable, is it? If I'm there."
Will looks at him like he's trying to make sure and Mike agrees, gulps, "No, it's not. You're…you're always there, really."
"Yeah, I'm there, uh, a lot I'd say —" Will actually blushes and he might look away, but his face is breaking out into a smile. Mike's heart is thundering loud, amazed. Because maybe he gets to have this, maybe he's not brave yet but he can be someday — he can be somebody Will deserves and maybe he — he still gets a chance.
"You are," Mike confirms nervously, waiting.
"And for a moment there, I thought I was going crazy, but — but I think you're being pretty brave right now, Mike," Will tells him proudly, confidently, and Mike's mouth parts in surprise. Because he's — he's not, he's just — he's just not lying anymore. To himself. There weren't any more lies. That — that didn't make him brave, did it? "And if I'm going crazy…"
Mike lets out a shaky breath, nodding, "We'll go crazy together."
Will laughs and it's so bright, Mike really thinks Will could do anything.
They're running out of time, but maybe — maybe he wants the chance to know, just once, so Mike can't really help himself, hand coming up to the back of Will's neck, touching the ends of the bowlcut he's secretly happy Will never parted with, his palm right where the Mindflayer tried to take Will away from him. He couldn't then and he won't now. Because Mike loves him.
Will is staring at him too, maybe just as transfixed, and then his eyes turn golden, warming for Mike like — maybe like they always have and he rolls his eyes like it's obvious, opens his mouth but Mike doesn't even need to hear it — and says, "I love you too, by the—"
Mike closes his eyes before tipping his head forward, lining Will's lips with his own in a closed kiss, at first just testing the waters, daring, because what if Will didn't still want —
And maybe he won't ever be able to say it enough, because the way he feels Will's muffled sound of of a laugh and shock, and then Will's hand, coming up to squeeze his arm as he finally, finally moves his lips against Mike's — it makes him feel fifty feet tall. Sends every signal on overload in the best way possible, his brain turning to static, like a pleasant hum, or maybe it's him humming, he doesn't know. All he knows is that it's so — so gentle and coaxing — and Mike takes in things besides the live current that is just kissing Will alone — like how his breath fans over Mike's cheek, how his fingers dig and let go in Mike's arms, how his other hand trails, hovering over Mike's chest like he's still afraid to touch.
But Mike has always, always wanted more of Will. It's kind of his whole deal. He darts his tongue against Will's bottom lip and Will — Will whines, just a little. Enough that it punches the breath out of Mike's lungs, makes him feel suddenly stupid, wild, and suddenly, he's drawing both his arms around Will's waist and then they're kissing. Kissing like how they should have been, like the world is actually ending, damn it. But he knows he doesn't have enough time to swallow every sound Will makes, especially when their tongues brush and Will squirms and Mike feels so hot suddenly and for some stupid reason, he still needs to breathe.
He'd do that with Will too if he could.
Still, he pulls away, catching his breath and wide-eyed, looking at Will who's flushed, his chest heaving, and Mike thinks Will's lips still look a little wet and he did that, and Will looks so good, so pretty it makes Mike a little stupid, making him really, really wish the world wasn't ending.
But Will is still looking at him like Mike is the one that just gained powers. Maybe they both did.
"Crazy together?"
Will doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to with the grin in his eyes or the way he brings their hands together and squeezes, nodding once, before giving Mike that look that — that he used to try and stop because he was an idiot — and how did he not know, how did he keep away all the love he had looking back at him?
Mike's a little too greedy now that he's done it once, so he steals at least one more kiss, uses it to spin Will around, leading them both backwards, until it was too late for Will's gasp to do anything — Mike making sure he'd land first, so Will would have more time —
And they're falling again.
~~~~
Mike's still not used to it — he's heard stories about the Upside Down and he only got as close as the tunnels when he was young, and then he'd gotten a truer glimpse when it started to take over Hawkins, going from something like reality at a distance directly into a world of chaos — both otherworldly and terrifying. But today's the first time he's ever been there, and everything was already in chaos, and they had no time for Mike to take in the scenery or note how cold everything was. They just needed to get to the tower — but Mike was in awe seeing the way the sky was torn open, fiery red and —
It looked like it would consume them. But it's eerily vast, and all he sees is a red, burnt sky and endless cliffs and canyons and it's not like how he imagined but it's hot, sweltering — but they're not alone.
Steve is standing with his foot on a demogorgon's body, giving them a nod in greeting. Mike's gaping at the nonchalance, even if it's dead already and Dustin is giving them a thumbs up and a proud grin as he holds the spear that's been thrust into the demogorgon.
"Where the hell were you guys?" Lucas coughs, holding his arm with a light touch like it was hurt. Mike opens his mouth to try and explain but what would he even say because — Will looks at him at the same time, both of them trying to figure out if their friends went through the same thing or how much time had really gone by if they're in a wormhole —
"What do you —"
"We were in Mike's mind — his memories, I mean," Will answers their friends honestly, because why wouldn't he? Will has never really lied to them, not even when he was trying to hide who he was or that he loved Mike. His cheeks are even still tinted a little bit and Mike thinks his countdown for looking has already run out but it's so much harder when he remembers Will's lips on his, moments ago, and he wants —
"Ohhh," Dustin nods emphatically, pulling Mike out of it just so he could narrow his eyes at the tone. Lucas just closes his eyes, shakes his head while looking exhausted and Mike, affronted, because what did he do? But he knows those extra seconds cost him because even Robin raises her eyebrows comically, slapping Steve's arm excitedly, and looking right to Will an excited question in her eyes.
He's trying not to burst at the sudden commotion. Don't they have a world to save?
Mike glares at the both of them, "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means you're a mess," Lucas tells him all too eagerly.
"But you got out!" Dustin says encouragingly, quick to soothe the bite. "And — and we think Eleven is somehow in the bath because besides the stray demo, it's been stone-cold empty in here. Eerie. We've been waiting —"
Mike frowns. But it looked so horrifying before he and Will had jumped.
"And you both only got here like, ten minutes tops after Steve," Robin says with a wave of her hand, but her voice pitches.
"Hey!"
"The memory thing was insane though! Like you'd think moving through 3 worlds would be enough, but no, I have to tour my mom putting me in a tutu and crying at little Robin. Thank god I knew exactly what Vecna was trying to show me and fuck him, he's a —"
"Mouthbreather," Mike finishes, nodding even though something strange settles over his bones, almost relieved that he didn't know — that he kept them from getting here. Prolonged it. But he swallows, guilty, and Lucas meets his eye in question, trying to ask if he's really okay and —
"As much as I'd love to rag on Mike's cluelessness, we really do need to get moving," Nancy supplies, unbothered, "He's in one of these — rock things —"
"Exotic matter volcanoes," Dustin corrects quickly, like it explained everything and didn't just make the rest of them give him that look.
But he doesn't get a chance to explain because Will shouts, doubling over, pushing Mike to act on instinct, crouching down to immediately offer his support.
"Will, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Mike doesn't bother to keep the full extent of his worry out of his voice and even Lucas, who's kneeling now, is looking at him. But it doesn't matter because Will's teeth are chattering, his hand coming up to the back of his neck, and he's looking at Mike with that look he despises, with fear again because —
"Something's wrong — El's not — But he's here. He's here."
Mike gulps, his eyes not leaving Will's, even if everyone else darts their eyes around wildly to try and find him —
"Holy shit," Steve says. Because yeah, holy shit. Vecna's lair — if a giant cliff with a cave-like cut out could be called that - is suddenly revealed to them. He hears Nancy's shotgun click. And Mike and everyone else knows Holly and the kids are in there. There's still a vast distance to cross but Nancy breaks into a run and the rest of them have no choice but to follow.
Mike briefly wonders if El is okay, if she made it out — because Henry, One, Vecna, or whatever he wants to be called, already wants a storm. When they get to the cave, two demogorgons leap out of nowhere and Mike's whole body freezes, but Steve swings and Nancy shoots and then Lucas is barreling onto the demogorgon's back with a knife and Will is determined to move forward — Mike is broken out of his reverie, stumbles after him — watching time slow down, turning his head to see —
Vecna standing at the entrance of another nook in the veiny, strange cave. Mike's heart drops as Vecna steps out slowly, like he didn't need to hurry for them. He's already angry though, eyes completely red and devoid of - of any doubt.
"You think you can outsmart me? Play your games, William?" His voice booms, carrying over with a rippling effect. It shakes within the walls, the tubes sliding and shifting.
Will stands firm and he has a storm for Vecna too, unafraid, reminding Mike that — that they're supposed to be in this together. And he can't — won't let anything to happen to Will — not when he finally he loves him —
Vecna senses the change.
Mike's being pulled, feels the slithering wet vine around his ankle. He kicks it, annoyed at how gross it is, trying to break free —
"MIKE!"
Then something slinks around his throat and Mike's hand comes up immediately, but it yanks him back into the wall. He can only struggle, twisting around to try and catch a breath of air or break out of the hold. But it's no use, the vines pull his hands away, ensnare him, holding him up there and he can't breathe but he hears the screams so he tries to open his eyes to — blurrily see more damage done. Demogorgons at Vecna's disposal have backed the rest of the Party and soon they're all trapped in the wall, helpless but where is — Mike can't — Struggles for any gasp when his throat closes up, but finally, he sees Will. Will with his head thrown back, eyes glazed over in white.
Mike closes his eyes.
Will made it in to the hivemind.
He would breathe if he could. But instead a peace settles over him and his head gets fuzzy, still knowing they could still make it out of there. Will is unstoppable. Every time Vecna or the Mindflayer or anything else tried to - to dim who he was, he made sure to shine — made sure to tell Mike that it was a 7 — made sure to show up for his friends even when it hurts him.
Will's better than anything thrown at him. And he's better every single time. Mike never wants to stop loving him, never wants to stop seeing Will be brave, so he keeps thinking about Will, keeps believing in him, hoping Will could somehow hear him through the veined wall —
Distantly, he knows Will is still alive in there, fighting — but Mike gets so tired, he just wants to — follow Will into that light and sleep —
~~~~
It's pitch black. Nothingness.
Another world for him to walk into. Empty but with floors like obsidian, he remembers everything but landing here — or it hurting — and he's scared, scared of fading —
"Hello!?" Mike cups his hands, hears his own yell echo far and wide. It's somehow more terrifying than anything else he'd seen tonight except maybe Vecna. He doesn't know how El finds comfort in the darkness she talked about. He immediately feels its loneliness, crawling under his skin. He's not supposed to be here — like he's in — in another abyss.
He walks and even if it's aimless, useless, he has to do something or he'll — he'll — He'll leave Will for good right when —
Wouldn't it be good? Doesn't Will deserve better?
Mike tenses, hears the voice so loudly here and his eyes sting. He stops walking, the quiet so incredibly overwhelming and it's worse than Vecna choking him, it's the stones he keeps throwing at himself, over and over —
You're not a superhero, you're a nobody. A nobody. And you were just going to hide behind Will for the rest of your life —
"SHUT UP!!" Mike roars and it vibrates back into his own ears, because it's - it's not true. He doesn't hide with Will — Will knows how to say exactly what he needs, to lift Mike, inspire him and — and help him be brave. And so what, so what if he wants Will to keep doing that for the rest of their lives?
Then, he perks up, hearing voices even though they're too faint, like slivers of sound overlaying and he tries to pick the voices apart —
"Mike, are you in there?" Is that — is that Holly?
"Mike —" Will. "Just - just wake up."
"He will be okay," he hears Eleven say and when did she get there? How long has Mike —
He feels closer, wants to reach out, but instead — a soft touch on his hand — and suddenly Mike thinks he might be flying —
And open his eyes.
~~~~
"Oh my god, oh my god, he's waking up!"
There was a flash of green. Sunshine.
"You really know how to be late to everything, huh?" Lucas.
Mike only opened his eyes for a moment before immediately shutting them again, a sharp pain taking over as his neck as he breathes, easily reminded he was choked to the very edge of his life.
"Hey, the second time was definitely Vecna's fault," Mike answers weakly and the room laughs in relief and he gets swept up in it — so warm, so tired.
"Easy," Will says, and Mike immediately blinks, finding it hard to let out the sigh he wants to when he finally meets Will's eyes and sees — sees them twinkling, full of happiness for him, for having Mike back. Mike can't say it here but he feels it, so he just squeezes Will's hand in his and is momentarily distracted when takes in how they are all in — Hawkins?
God, did Will really do it? Did he flip it back?
With the help of his friends, Mike stands up, only to almost be shoved by Nancy who was crying and looked like she either wanted to yell at him or hug him — and then he saw Dustin's puffy eyes, Lucas looking relieved, and some kid and Derek and — Mike spins around, reaches for Holly when he sees her and she barrels into him, crying and he feels so bad — she must have seen so many awful things.
"I'm sorry, Mike, I lost her," she mumbles. "Holly the Heroic. I tried to hold onto her but — but I couldn't."
Mike huffs a laugh, because that's absurd, that's absurd. "If you're here, then I think you didn't lose her at all. She was you the whole time."
Nancy sniffles, looking at him like she didn't know how to say how afraid she was, but Mike knows and nods at her. Somehow, the Wheelers made it out of this mess.
They start walking to the lab, to see if El and Hopper and the others made it too.
He's pressed right next to Will but he keeps looking to make sure, keeps catching Will look back and it makes him feel so — so good and so much, warm all over, itching to be alone again but — but that's really nothing new.
"What'd you do?" Mike smiles at him, bumping his shoulder into Will's chest.
Will smiles right back at him, and Mike thinks he looks —
Beautiful.
Not a stone in sight.
~~~~