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Just saying it loud to someone and hearing them be cool with it, you know? It’s like this weight lifted.
Robin’s words struck something deep within Will’s heart. Hearing that she told Steve of all people, even under the influence of evil Russian truth serum, seems like an insane choice, but the root of her message had been clear — Will should tell someone. Yeah, Robin knows about him now, but that mostly happened by circumstance and her scarily good ability to read people. Her knowing about this part of himself has been truly life-changing, and he honestly doesn’t know where they’d all be if she hadn’t said what she said to him in the tunnels. With her in his corner, and through her wisdom, he’s not as ashamed of this part of himself anymore. He’s accepted that this is who he is.
However, there’s still a heaviness in his chest. It’s been there his whole life, and while it might have lessened, he doesn’t want it to weigh him down anymore. There are too many things at stake right now for him to sink under the weight of something that he has power over. He can do this. He needs to do this. Not because of his love for Mike. Not because he’s worried Vecna will use it against him. But for himself. Because this thing he’s supposed to hate about himself… It isn’t a mistake. It’s a miracle. It’s love.
He just wishes he had a bit of that truth serum Robin was talking about.
They’re preparing for their final trip to the Upside Down. Will and his mom watch from the doorway of the WSQK as the group loads weapons, bombs, and other essentials into the truck in a strict assembly line. His stomach churns with anxiety over what’s to come. One way or another, they’re going to end this. They have to. The fate of the world depends on it.
He needs to do this now, before it’s too late.
“Mom…” His voice cracks slightly, but he recovers it. “I-I need to talk to you about something.”
Her face softens with concern. “Sure, honey, what is it?”
He releases a shaky exhale as his eyes catch on Jonathan standing idly beside the truck. He seems to sense Will’s gaze, because he glances up then and raises a questioning brow. Will is fairly certain that Jonathan knows about him already after what happened in the pizza kitchen nearly two years ago, and because of this, he knows that his brother still loves him regardless. So he decides he wants him there for this conversation, just in case it doesn’t go over well with his mom. Having his brother’s unwavering love by his side will give him the strength to say everything he needs to say, no matter how scared he is.
Will beckons him with his hand, and Jonathan doesn’t hesitate to come jogging over.
“Hey, Will… Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just…need to talk to you both,” he says. “Follow me.”
He leads them back inside to the lounge area and slowly lowers himself into an armchair, sitting on the edge of the cushion with his elbows resting on his knees. His mother and Jonathan sit next to each other on the couch closest to him, and he angles his body to face them properly. He stares down at the floor and squeezes his hands together tightly, but it does little to ebb the shaking. His heart pounds against his rib cage, and for a moment, he can’t hear anything besides the sound of his blood racing in his ears.
He feels a warm hand rest on his arm. “...honey. What’s going on?”
He inhales and exhales a few times until his blood pressure lowers slightly.
“I-I um…I just wanted to say that — “
Suddenly, the door swings open, causing Will to nearly jump out of his skin. “ — Hey, Will, what are you — “ Mike’s eyebrows fly up in surprise as he takes in the seriousness of the conversation he just interrupted. “Oh, shit…sorry. Uh, I’ll just…”
He starts to close the door, but before Will can overthink it, he finds his voice. “No, wait…” Mike freezes. “Stay. You should…You should hear this, too.”
Above all else, Mike is his best friend. Yes, Will is in love with him, desperately and completely, but this isn’t about that right now. Not entirely. He wants Mike to know. Not everything. But he wants him to know this.
Mike hesitates, but a brief flicker of something that looks like relief flickers across his face as he closes the door gently behind him and settles on the couch opposite Joyce and Jonathan.
Will closes his eyes and takes one final deep breath. He can do this.
He finds Jonathan’s eyes, knowing he can’t look at Mike or his mom as he says it, only to find his brother watching him with a small smile, like he already knows exactly what this is about. Jonathan gives him a slight nod of encouragement, and Will lets it wash over him, calming his nerves just enough to allow words to form on his tongue.
“My whole life, I’ve known I was different. That my brain was different. I’ve always felt different from everyone. And for a long time, I didn’t fully understand why.” He pauses, pulling his trembling hands inside his sleeves. “Vecna…he said minds like mine don’t belong in this world. And he showed me things. He showed me these awful memories. But they weren’t his memories.” His eyes well up with tears, and he’s unable to stop a few from spilling down his cheeks. “They were mine.”
Mike shifts forward, mirroring Will’s position with his elbows on his knees. “What do you mean? What kind of memories?” His voice is soft. It’s the one Mike always uses with him. Will’s not even sure if he realizes he does it.
“Just let him finish,” Jonathan bites, though there’s no real heat to it.
Will half expects Mike to reply to his brother with some snarky comment, but instead, he just nods and turns his attention back to his friend. Will still can’t look at him. One glance into Mike’s eyes would make the rest of this too difficult. If he sees even an ounce of disgust or disappointment in his best friend’s eyes, he doesn’t think he’d survive it. So, he just keeps looking at Jonathan.
“H-He showed me the moments when I hated myself the most. When I felt wrong or…like a mistake.” Will wipes his tears with his sleeve, but more replace them just as quickly. “I used to feel so alone and like no one could possibly understand me or love me for who I am. That’s why he chose me, because I was weak. And when I’m weak, I’m easier to control. He’s trying to make me feel like that again. Like I’m all alone. Unloveable. But he’s wrong. I’m not weak. I have people who understand me. I have people who love me. All of me. I know that now.”
Jonathan smiles softly, his own eyes welling up, giving Will the final push he needs. He takes another stuttering breath, and he feels his mom’s hand rest on his arm again, patient and comforting. “And I want you to know that the reason I’ve always felt different is…it’s because I-I don’t like…girls. Not like everyone else does.”
“And there’s someone that I like,” Will continues shakily. “I know he probably doesn’t feel the same…and that’s okay. But I just…I’m not scared of it. Of how I feel. I just don’t want to keep it in anymore. All of this, it’s…heavy. And I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, and so much has happened in my life that I’ve had no control over… But I can have a say in this.”
The room goes dead silent. Will’s blood is thrashing in his ears again, and he diverts his gaze down to the floor as he tries to calm himself. It’s all out now. There’s no taking it back.
Before Will even has time to lift his head, Jonathan is colliding into him, pulling his little brother into a bone-crushing embrace. A guttural sob erupts from deep in Will’s chest as he falls forward into Jonathan’s arms. Kneeling on the floor, his brother just holds him, hand cradling the back of his head as his face presses into the crook of his neck.
“I love you, Will. You know I meant it when I said nothing would ever change that, right?”
Will just nods into his shoulder, relieved that no matter what, at least he has his brother by his side. After a moment, Jonathan pulls back and wipes the tears from his own eyes as well as the ones from Will’s, though the gesture is futile.
“Will, honey…”
He turns to look at his mom for the first time since he started his confession, and the knots in his stomach begin to untangle themselves when he sees the look on her face. Her eyes are shining, and she’s looking at him like she always does — not like he’s a baby, but like he’s her baby. Jonathan shuffles back just in time for her to pull Will into her arms.
“Honey… You’re right, you’re not weak. You’re the strongest and bravest person I know. You’re perfect exactly as you are. I love you so much. Always. And I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t tell me.”
Will clutches the back of her sweater as he continues to cry with relief in her embrace. They stay like that for an unknown amount of time as she holds him.
He’s so grateful for how well this went, but the need to face his best friend’s reaction is fast approaching, and he’s terrified. He has to do it, though. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Finally, his mom presses a kiss to his forehead and pulls away, making space for Will to confront him.
He fights through his nerves and tentatively looks at Mike. He’s still in the same position on the couch, leaning forward with his fists pressed to his mouth. And his eyes… They’re full of tears threatening to spill over, and there’s something else behind them that Will can’t quite read, but he doesn’t think it looks like surprise. The uncertainty makes his stomach churn.
“Will, I…” He says behind his hands. His face is flushed, and he’s clearly at a loss for words. Will catches how Mike’s eyes flicker between Joyce and Jonathan, and he instantly knows his friend has more he wants to say, but is scared to say it in front of an audience.
Will wipes his eyes and turns back to his mom and brother. “Can we have a minute alone, please?”
Jonathan’s gaze darts toward Mike, then back to Will as he raises a brow. “You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s okay. Promise.”
Jonathan nods, standing and patting his brother softly on the cheek. “I’m proud of you, Will.”
Warmth floods through him as he smiles back at his brother. His mother follows suit, pressing a kiss to the top of Will’s head. “I love you so much, baby. We both do.”
“Love you, too.”
The other two Byers exit the room, closing the door behind them, and the lounge falls back into silence. It’s not uncomfortable, exactly, but the anxiety radiates around them like a thick fog. Will breathes through it and shifts on the floor to face Mike, unwrapping his arms from around his legs, and letting them relax naturally in front of him. He doesn’t want to appear small or ashamed. Because he’s not, and he doesn’t want Mike to think otherwise.
“Mike…” He starts, trying to keep his voice steady. “Please just…just say whatever you’re thinking.”
Mike bites at his thumbnail, gaze flicking around the room like he’s working up the courage for something. Then, after several moments, he exhales slowly through his nose and pushes himself off the couch. For a second, Will’s heart stops over the fear that he’s about to leave, but instead, Mike drops to the floor in front of him and doesn’t hesitate before he pulls Will into a firm hug. The angle is a bit awkward, but Will’s entire body relaxes into it as he clings to Mike’s camo vest and buries his face in his collarbone, tears staining the fabric. The warmth of Mike pressed against him allows the remaining knots in his stomach to untangle completely. The relief he felt over his mom’s and brother’s reactions had been immense, but this… This is something else entirely.
After admitting something that could easily have scared him off and pushed him away completely, the boy Will has loved for nearly his entire life is holding him as if none of it matters. As if telling him without words that he’s not going anywhere. And despite how much Will loves him and wishes he could have him in that way, more than anything, Will needs his best friend.
They hug longer than they ever have before, and Will soaks it in, because he’s not sure if he’ll ever get to experience it again. But eventually, Mike’s breath hitches, and he pulls away, quickly wiping the wetness from his cheeks as he settles back to the floor, mirroring Will’s crossed legs. They’re sitting close enough still that their knees brush occasionally, each of them taking comfort in the contact. Mike’s eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, and Will can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s seen him cry. He isn’t entirely sure what to make of it now.
“Mike…” He has to ask, or the thought will eat away at him. “Did you know? About me? You can be honest, it’s okay.”
Mike presses his lips together in that signature way he does, glancing down at his hands for a moment as he collects his thoughts before looking back up at him. “I uh… I’ve thought about it before, yeah. You’ve just never really seemed interested in girls or anything, so I don’t know… I guess the thought has crossed my mind.” He pauses. “But I didn’t know. Not really.”
Will nods. Mike might be a generally oblivious person, but it makes sense that he suspected this. Will imagines quite a few people have also considered it, but Mike knows him better than anyone, aside from maybe Jonathan, who also knew. As much as Will has tried to hide it, there are just some things about him that he can’t help. Things that have gotten him called slurs since he was a child, even by his own father. So it makes sense that Mike has thought about it. But it’s what he says next that gives Will pause.
“It’s never changed anything, though. I-I know I’ve said some stupid shit in the past, and I’m so so sorry. I wish I could take it back.” He pauses, eyes full of sincerity. “But…you’ve always been my best friend, Will, and nothing about you has ever made me doubt that.”
A shaky smile pulls at Will’s lips, and a few more tears slip down his cheeks. “Yeah?”
Mike smiles back, placing his hands gently on Will’s shoulders. “Yeah.”
A mix between a laugh and a sob escapes him, and he buries his face in his palms as relief washes over him. Robin was right about it feeling like a weight had been lifted. He feels so much lighter. And he now has three more people in his corner. Three more people who love and accept him exactly as he is.
There’s a soft knock at the door, and Jonathan peeks his head inside, his expression softening at the sight of them. “Hey, sorry… We need to get going. Everyone else is all loaded up.” He doesn’t linger, seemingly letting the two boys finish their conversation, and closes the door with a gentle click behind him.
Will wipes his eyes with his sleeves, and when he opens them again, Mike is standing in front of him, his hand extended outward. He blinks up at him in surprise, and Mike just wiggles his fingers in silent invitation. He tries to hide his smile as he takes Mike’s hand and allows himself to be pulled up to standing. But Mike doesn’t let go right away, and instead, brings him in for another embrace. Will sinks into his arms, breathing him in for as long as Mike holds him.
“I mean it, Will,” he says, barely above a whisper. The warm air from his mouth tickles Will’s ear, sending a chill up his spine. “Crazy together, remember?”
Will buries his face further into Mike’s shoulder to try and hide the blush that is no doubt all over his cheeks. “Yeah. Crazy together.”
Finally, Mike releases him, still keeping a hand on Will’s shoulder. His face is also a shade redder than usual. “We should go. How are you feeling?”
“Like I could fly.”
“Good, we’re gonna need it.” Mike smiles. “Let’s go kill this son of a bitch.”