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It was cold, dewey, really the Upside down was just as Will remembered. Horrible and lifeless.
This is the easy part, the waiting game. Waiting for the Abyss to come close enough for their plan to go into action. But as easy as it's supposed to be, Will feels nauseous. Standing outside the parallel of the radio shack, he stares at the vines covering ground.
He just told everybody he’s practically ever known that he's gay, but he couldn't even say the word. It still scares him, it still sits in his throat choking him. It makes him feel pathetic, he should feel free, like a weight has been lifted, but instead he's feeling constrained against a wall unable to break free.
It’s not like he didn't want to tell everybody. It’s just- he didn't want to tell everybody. Not now. Not yet. But when Vecna got into his head, the things he showed him.. He thought this would help this suffocating feeling, that this would be the final push to make him stop being so goddamn afraid.
But he just feels worse.
Everyone loved him, they didn't see him any differently, they embraced him and since then have not looked at him with any disdain, any pity, no more than usual at least.
Pity will always follow him. The boy who was taken, possessed, targeted, and now the queer.
But everyone’s been normal, as normal as you can be at the end of the world. It hasn’t been brought up again, Dustin has managed to not ask any inappropriate questions, and his Mom still smiles at him with just as much love as before.
Yet he feels worse. Not entirely of course- of course he's happy. He knows when this is all over he will be grateful to have this over and done with but- he wishes he didn't have to rip off the bandaid. That maybe, he could have told just somebody without urgency, without fear, without this looming shadow of him.
A door opens around the side of the building, Will looks up expecting to see Hopper calling him inside, to even Robin coming out to talk to him, he's surprised to see Mike slowly walking up to him.
Mike was sort of an enigma. He embraced Will along with the others, but his face when Will was talking.. He looked like he was realising something much deeper. Mike, who always rushed to his side at any sight of potential distress, waited. He waited until the others got up to hug Will. Which could mean nothing.
“You’ve been out here a while” Mike starts when he’s beside Will, leaning against the wall.
“Just, getting some air” It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, which Will seemed to be doing a lot in these past couple years.
Mike simply nods. Mike a handful of years ago would have questioned further, wouldn’t have taken that, he would have seen through the twisted lie. Maybe he does, maybe he just doesn't know how to confront Will. They are best friends, but Will would be lying if he didn't acknowledge they got rocky.
Maybe that was his fault.
”Do you think this plan’s going to work?” Mike cuts in Will’s thoughts, turning his head to look at him.
“I hope so.. i just want this all to be over” They were only sixteen, they had been going through this for years now, this needs to end. “I kind of don't want to talk about that right now”
Mike nods again, seemingly not knowing what to say. This is what terrified him the most. It was if Mike acted differently, if Mike treated him differently. If Mike knew, and he just didn't know how to behave around Will anymore. Will couldn't lose his best friend.
“Well.. who was that guy you were talking about?” Will scrunches his eyebrows, looking up at Mike, who has a completely neutral expression.
“What guy?” Mike rolls his eyes playfully, a little smile appearing on his face.
Will’s heart swelled. He hated how much of an effect Mike had on him, his stupid face. His beautifully stupid face.
“The guy you had a crush on, what other guy Will” oh god, oh god.
Nope! No no no. Why is Mike asking him about his crush? Mike? His crush? What kind of cruel set up was this?
“I- well- you see- it doesn't matter— it's not like he would ever like me back anyways” Will crossed his arms, pointedly looking anywhere but Mike.
“How do you know that?” What kind of question is that? Will has only ever met one other gay person, technically two, and it was in the opposite way to him.
“Because- he's not like-“ Will hesitates, voice wobbling a fraction. “-he's not gay.. Mike”
Simply saying the word felt like his body was becoming an empty skeleton, with only his heart beating heavily inside. It felt wrong. Like saying it would cause every person who ever muttered those names under their breaths when Will walked past would suddenly jump out and get him. He was still so afraid.
“Oh.. did he like, tell you that?” Will scrunches his face, why was Mike being so persistent?
Stubborn. Mike was always annoyingly stubborn. He refused to not let things go his way, to not get answers, if he wanted something, he was going to get it.
“No- not explicitly no, but— he had a girlfriend, i think that's pretty clear” finally Will looks back up at Mike, their eyes locked. Mike is looking at him, like really looking.
His expression is still, painfully neutral, but there's this underlying pressure. The air feels tight, Mike's lips are parted just so slightly, and the tension keeps tightening. Will can't look away. He wants to look away, but Mike's eyes have some sort of spell on him. The last thing he needs right now is screwing everything up by making Mike uncomfortable by doing something gay.
“Different” Mike mutters, narrowing his eyes slightly, and finally looking down to the side. Will almost believes his eyes flick down to his lips for a fraction of a second during the motion. But there's no way.
“What?” Will’s voice comes out slightly strained and breathy.
“Earlier, when you told all of us that- you don't like girls, you said you were different” Mike kept his eyes trained on something on the ground. Will remembered, it was all sort of a blur, he was on the brink of a full blown panic attack, remembering what Vecna had shown him, feeling him in the back of his head.
Mike tilted his head up, looking up at the- sort of sky- and took a deep breath. “El didn’t commission the painting, did she?”
Will froze. The stagnant feeling of the Upside down might as well have frozen him over, because what the hell did Mike just say?
What the hell did Mike just say?
“What are you talking about Mike?” Will tried to laugh, he tried so hard not to ball up and cry, he can't know, not now.
“The painting, the one you gave me in the back of Argyles van- El didn't tell you what to paint, she didn't tell you all of that stuff, did she?” Will’s throat felt like it was closing in on itself, like if he reached up and touched his neck he would feel one of those vines tightening itself around him.
“No- i told you- i told you she did” Mike sighs, closing his eyes.
”Friends don't lie” Why now? Why now does he pick up on it? Why not every time before, why now when Vecna is so close, when they’re in his domain, when Mike could get hurt?
“I’m not lying” Mike scrunches his face, bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Yes you are! You’ve been lying to me for a year and a half, you’ve been lying to me- and you're lying to me now! You- you-“ Mike stutters, breath catching, eyes flicking around Will’s face.
Mike looks seconds away from a goddamn breakdown, and Will couldn't pinpoint why. He knows Mike hates being lied to, but this was deeper than that.
Will didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to pull himself out of this one. He didn't have El to fall back on, he couldn't push Mike back to her. He couldn’t just ignore his best friend falling apart in front of him. He was at a loss.
Finally, Mike seems to collect himself, taking a deep breath and straightening his posture. He yanks the beanie off his head and threads his hands through his hair while sighing. “You- you aren’t different, you listed so many reasons why that's not the case, but there's so much more Will”
“I know-“
“No. I need you to listen, just listen” Mike reaches out, grabbing Will's shoulders.
The eye contact is worse than before, Mike's eyes are wide, desperate. He's clinging onto Will like it's what he absolutely has to do. Like if he lets go Will might just vanish from right in front of him again.
“You aren’t different— you hate the smell of Hawkins after it rains because it just stinks of wet dog, and everybody hates it when it rains because of the impending smell. And you always forget one piece of homework every week, always one, and the rest of us always forget something as well and we have to combine forces to make sure none of us fail” Mike lets out a small laugh that Will can't help back echo.
“You introduced me to syrup on eggs, and we might not have everybody on board just yet but we will get there— and- you never button your tops all the way up because you hate the feeling of things being too close to your neck. And you always roll your eyes when i say something stupid- which is like all of time and— and-“ Mike hesitates, eyes widening a fraction. “I don't know if anyone else does, in all honesty- but the things you do- that you are, is what makes you, just like everybody else- because if you were some clone then i think you would be different”
Mike huffs out a laugh, Will shakes his head, a smile splitting onto his face.
“You’ve always just been.. you. You’re insane at art, and you always care so much for everybody and- and you’ve always been my best friend and-“ Mike starts to tear up, his grip on Will's shoulders tightening.
“I’ve been such an asshole, I was such an asshole that summer before you moved away and then when you moved i didnt know how to cope- i never sent you any of my letters and i was the biggest prick and- i dont know how you forgive me- i don't know you forgive me every time, but you do because your you and your amazing and your my best friend and— and your not a mistake at all Will”
Oh.
Fuck.
Fuck.
He knew the painting was from Will, he knew, and if he knew then that means that he knows- he knows.
“You’re not a mistake, and you're not different- because i- i also- i don’t like girls either..”
No. no no no no. Not again.
This couldn't be happening again. Not now.
Wills breath began to quicken, he couldnt deal with this again, he thought if he told everybody then- then Vecna would leave him alone, not give him another one of these fucking visions.
He couldn't see Mike die again.
Mike quickly noticed the shift in Will, eyes flicking everywhere, his grip tightening. “Will? What's wrong?”
“Get out of my head” Will closes his eyes tight, reaching up to Mike's wrists to try and pry him off but he won’t let go.
“Woah- woah Will- Will calm down! It’s me, it's Mike, im not- im not in your head im real” Mike shakes Will slightly, trying to get him to open his eyes.
Will shakes his head, continuing to pry Mike's hands off his shoulders. Trying to separate himself, trying to run away.
“You're not real- you’re not- you’re-“ Will blubbers, when he had started to cry he doesn't know, but he can't open his eyes, he can't stand to open them and see Vecna standing there. Or worse, see Mike dead in front of him.
Vecna knew how to get to him. He knew exactly where it hurt most.
Will had the smallest amount of hope, for once in his life, he had hope. That maybe just maybe, Mike could like him back, Mike could be his Vickie.
But- watching him use Mike's body in that way. His likeness. Treating him as his puppet to twist Will's heart in two and split it everywhere as he showed him what he would do to Mike if he dared to have hope.
Mike in a moment of impulse uses his grip on Will's shoulders to pull him into a tight embrace. Will tries to push away, but despite Mike's thin stature, his height gives him the upper hand, allowing him to encase Will in his arms.
“I’m real, okay I'm real. I’m not letting you go until you believe me” Will doesn't know how he got here, sobbing in Mike's arms. Only a few minutes ago he was standing here all alone with his own mind.
Now there's so much to think about. If this is real then- then that means.. Why would Mike tell him that? If Mike knows, which he has to, then why would he say that?
Will slowly opens his eyes, as much as he's able to be squished into Mike’s chest, and he finds, it really is Mike's chest he's squished into. An alive, mostly okay, Mike. This is real.
That almost makes it worse.
“Okay.. you can let me go now” Mike looks down to meet Will’s eyes, he takes a moment but does ease his arms off of Will to allow him to step back.
There's another shift in the air now, in the stagnant Upside down air, it feels heavier. Not so tight, just pressure.
“Are you- do you want to talk about what that was all about?” Mike tilts his head.
Will pauses, and shakes his head. He should, but he can't. Soon, soon he will.
Mike huffs a small laugh, the red splotches on his face not fading yet from the tears he also shed during that ordeal. “I didn't really expect that reaction to me telling you that”
Will’s heart sinks. Mike had just confided in him, told him that he was like Will, opened up about the same thing Will just did prior. And Will went on to have a panic attack about it.
“Mike- im so sorry, i- i-“ Mike shakes his head interrupting.
”Stop apologising. If it wasn't about to be the potential end of the world as we know it, it would be a little funny in retrospect.. But I think I know why you had that reaction” Mike fiddled with his hands. “You know why I told you that, right?”
“Mike no” Will looked at him pleading, he wanted this for so long, for as long as he can remember, but he can't.
“Will. It’s the end of the world, i dont want any regrets- i cant have this happen and not have you know that i l-“
“Mike you can't do this!” Will interrupts. He knows what Mike is about to say. He knows if he says it then he wont be able to contain it anymore, he won't be able to keep Mike safe.
“But- i thought- i-“ Mike looks confused, suprised, heartbroken mostly. He was certain he knew what was going on, and he does, mostly.
It aches to see him this way. Will doesn't want him to feel this way. He wishes it didn't have to be this way.
“You don't get it Mike, i cant have you do this to me- because i need you, and i cant need you because if i need you then you’ll get hurt— he showed me- he showed me” Will grips onto the front of Mike's jacket.
Mike blinks, clearly processing everything that's been happening since he stepped outside.
“Vecna? Vecna showed you me getting hurt?” Mike leans in slightly, grabbing Will's arm.
Will nods, looking down. “When i was in his trance- he showed me visions, i told you about the ones he showed me of everyone changing how think about me— but he showed me ones of you- you dying, getting hurt- because of me”
For a moment there's silence. It’s not even for more than ten seconds, but it feels like it stretches for an eternity. The pressure in the air feels like it's reaching the point of bursting.
“Will- Will look at me” Will looks up, meeting Mike's eyes again, this time the desperation is weaved around a new determination.
“You don't need me” Mike’s hands move up to Will's jaw, holding his face in place, ensuring he looks him in the eyes this whole time. “You’ve never needed me”
Mike gulps, taking a deep breath.
“Back when you went missing- you were alone in here, I wasn't here to help you, and that kills me, but you survived— a whole week you survived here, by yourself. And when the mind flayer got you, you were the one who fought back and communicated with us through morse code what to do, that was you, you”
Mike leans in slightly, tightening his grip on Will’s jaw just slightly as he speaks.
“when you moved to california, i wasn't really there for you, but you still made the best out of that place- you navigated a new school, a new state, and a brand new sister— While I couldn't figure out how to finish off my letters so i- I never sent them to you. Like some coward i just locked them away thinking you’d never notice”
Will’s lips part slightly.
”you wrote me letters?” His voice comes out quiet, hoarse.
Mike nods, eyes wet.
“Look at you Will, your powers, you hurt Vecna, that's so much— Even before all of this, when we were kids. You were the one who always had to pull out the first aid kit because I was always tripping over myself” Mike laughs, Will can't help but laugh too because it's true.
”You don't need me, that's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say” Mike smiled at Will softly, his eyes pouring out so much love.
It clicked, like the air bursting finally, Mike was right. He didn't need Mike. But yet, he wanted him. And maybe- maybe that would be okay.
Impulsively Will surges forward, pulling Mike in by the grasp he has on his jacket. Their lips connect for a split second before Will realises what he’s done and pulls away instantly.
“Shit- shit- im so-“ Will doesn’t get the chance to apologize before Mike's pulling him back in with twice as much force than he did before.
It isn't the perfect collision, with the amount of force put into it, and Will never having kissed anyone before. But it's perfect. Mike pulls away a fraction to tilt his head and get a better angle and go back in. If Will thought the pressure had burst before then whatever this was must be an explosion. An avalanche.
Mike's lips are slightly chapped, bitten, and Will can taste remnants of coffee. It’s completely not what he expected and everything he could have wanted and more. His hands slip from Mike's jacket to the back of his head, fingers threading into his hair. Thank fuck he took of that beanie, that is now somewhere dropped on the ground long forgotten about.
Mike slides one of his hands down from Will’s jaw to shoulder, then to his chest, then finally rests it on his waist, right above his hip. Using that hand he pulls Will impossibly closer.
This was never supposed to happen, Will was never supposed to get this, yet he is. It’s real. And unfortunately has been going on so long he has to pull back to breathe.
They’re both gasping for air when they pull away, still holding onto each other. Mike’s face is even redder than before, his lips a bright red and slightly swollen. Wills sure he's not much better.
“Please— tell me im not your fucking Tammy” Mike says in between breaths.
“No— no never- you’ve always been Mike- My heart” Will says truthfully. Mike was never his Tammy, he wanted to convince himself he was because then if this never happened it would hurt less. And if he was just his Tammy, then he wouldn't be targeted.
Mike grins at this, his real, goofy, grin. “Will, i need you to promise me something”
Will scrunches his eyebrows but nods.
“You cant do anything stupid, you cant bait yourself, or do some self sacrifice, because- i need to tell you, after all of this is over. I’m going to tell you, and you have to promise me that” Will’s lips part, and he nods.
Mike Wheeler Loves him. And he’s going to tell him.
“And you need to promise me something” Mike scrunches his eyebrows this time, but nods. “You can't do anything stupid either because after all of this is over- we’re going to your house and your showing me all of those letters you never sent me”
Mike’s eyes widen, dropping his face into Will's shoulder he groans.
“Fine. Nothing stupid” Will smiles, and for once, it feels real.
He doesn't feel this looming sense of dread. Him leeching in the back of his mind. None of it is there. All he can feel is Mike in his arms, Mike's face on his shoulder, Mike loves him.
Mike loves him, and he loves Mike, and maybe, just maybe, they’re going to be okay.
It's the end of the world, but for once- they feel ready.