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"I don't like girls." Will says with tears pouring down his face, the room filled with silence followed by a voice, "Aaaand cut!" Ross yells to Noah as he's uncontrollably sobbings. "Fucked up another scene, Noah. We're gonna have to keep on doing this all day if you can't get your shit together." Noah feels the pain that's struck in his heart, this whole day has been hell for him, 12 hours of pure hell, he's been tossed around from retake to retake. "I mean don't you think it's a little unnecessary for at least half these people to be here? Like-" Noah is cut off by a slap to his face, both cheeks impacted by the hands of Matt and Ross duffer looking back at him with pure hatred and disgust. "Faggot" Ross mutters under his breath, acting like it meant nothing to the crying boy facing him.
Noah stands there, face red murmuring little curses to himself as the rest of the cast and brothers exit the set but one remains.
Finn.
"Hey, are you doing okay?" His sweet voice makes Noah turn his head to the right, as he looks up he sees the tall man dressed in a foolish outfit with his arms crossed. "Y-Yeah.. it's just you know, it's kind of stressful for me to film these things, especially with all the pressure and yelling." A frown forms on Finn's face as he feels remorse for his friend, an idea strikes in his head... maybe.. just maybe it'd make the both of them feel better.
"I have an idea." Finn blurts out loud a sinister smile forms on his face as Noah looks up to him, "What else could we do now? Tomorrows just gonna be another day of me suffering throughout the same scene.-" Finn intends to interrupt him but Noah continues with rage, "-Seriously, Finn!! What are we even gonna do this time?!! The brothers are just gonna cut it all out of the volume, they don't give a shit about us!" Noah's practically screaming at this point with anger, he looks like he's gone through the 5 stages of grief about 10 times already.
"Why don't we just kill them?" Finn suggests.
Huh...
Though the thought has definitely crossed his mind at least 100 times today he never believed he would act on it until now. Him and his best friend, Finn Wolfhard, killing the two people they hate most in the world. "Okay." Noah agrees, he clasps Finn's hand and they smile deeply at eachother, "Let's make this gate real." Hand in hand they ride their bikes to the military base grabbing as much ammo as they can to take their anger out on the Duffers.
Suited up and ready to battle, despite Finn looking like an androgynous lesbian and Noah looking like an IDF soldier they still look tuff as fuck. "You ready?" Finn says, "You know it. Crazy together?", Finn nods and stares lovingly at Noah's lips "Crazy together."
Strutting down to the writers room, their guns locked and loaded, prepared to shoot the brothers down. Trying not to make a sound in their steps they stand separately on either sides of the door with their guns facing the roof. "The count of three, okay?" Finn states, Noah shakes his head up and down. "1... 2...-" Finn is suddenly cut off, "Three." Shawn Levy appears in front of them and knocks the both of them out with the huge amount of scrapped byler scripts.
Noah's eyes blink open slowly... he feels Finn's familiar warmth pressing against his back. They're both tied down to chairs together just like Robin and Steve in Season 3. The room filled with tons of blue lights and computers blinding his vision until he finally realises what it is... wait... is that... THE Israel GPT machine??? A voice fills the room "So, Noah... do you finally know why I kidnapped and needed you for this show?" Noah paused and thought to himself, sure he was sort of irrelevant outside of this show since it was his entire life but... why did Shawn Levy need him?
"I needed the land of Israel that was promised 3000 years ago to power this machine, Israel GPT as I can tell you already know." Shawn continues "Without this machine Stranger Things is NOTHING, why do you think volume 2 is gonna suck??" No... Noah thought, this couldn't be?! They were actually gonna cut out the byler scenes? "And yeah you're probably thinking, the byler scenes?!?? Well YEAH, who thought Netflix would actually include gay people developing in their shows."
Noah felt sick to his stomach, why would they do this????
"You FILTHY queer, you really-" Shawn is cut off by the feeling of a bullet being implanted into his neck, Finn holding a gun right in front of him with the smoke pouring out. Finn fucking Wolfhard pulling a Charlie Kirk on Levy. The other boy's mouth gaped open in a huge shock. Levy's blood poured out onto the floor in a huge puddle unable to speak because of the gushing wound in his neck.
"C'mon, let's get out of here and put a stop to this." Finn tosses Noah his yellow AK-47 rifle that matches his own blue AK-47 rifle. They both stumble out with matching aching headaches going back to the place where they once started, the writers room. Ross and Matt both sitting there curiously as their Israel GPT machine is unable to spit out any more scripts for the finale. Finn and Noah bust the door down the Duffers jump out of their chairs.
"Which one first, Noah?" Finn asks, "That one" Noah points "The GAY one" Together the blue and yellow AK-47 rifiles aim toward Ross and sputter rounds uncontrollably towards his shaking vessel. Blood SPLATTERING to all the walls of the office his brother horrified at the sight before him, Noah and Finn both turn to Matt "How many byler scripts were rejected?" Noah asks with a passive aggressive tone. "S-seven..." Matt manages to say out loud despite the shock running throughout his body "It was seven scripts... p-p-please!!! You don't have to do this we can write a flickergate, paintinggate, mwtfdydgate, lettergate, PLEASE!!! WHATEVER GAY STORY YOU WANT JUST DON'T SHOOT ME PLEASE!!!!" He's begging for his life now as Noah asks Finn in a deep tone "What do you say?" Finn hesitates for a second "I say kick away."
Both the boys stomp on Matt's body and fire exactly like they did to his brother, Finn stops for a second, he stares longingly into Noah's beautiful eyes and moves his gaze down to his lips with the small brown mole above them. Noah looks absolutely beautiful in this moment even when he's doing something despicable. He yanks the AK-47 rifle from Noah's hands to say "Hey... we can make byler real if that's what you really wanted... I mean... it kinda is my fault you don't like girls." Noah is baffled by his dialogue, down right speechless like the brothers on the floor. "Y-Yeah... I'd really like that.... this is really romantic... lowkirkenuinely..."
Noah grabs Finn's face getting a handful of.... nothing really since his cheekbones are actually flawless and prominent, Finn's gaze directs once again to Noah's lip as they both lean into it, it's sweet and he can feel the warm sensation tingling on his lips. When they think all is endgame a familiar sound comes from afar... beep beep.
No... they both think to themselves... it can't be.
The sound of a speeding car suddenly grows louder as Noah and Finn's life flash before their eyes, BOOM, a loud crash into the both of them as they lie down on the floor kissing as flat as a pancake. "Beep, beep bitches." Millie Bobby Fucking Brown says as she smirks to herself, Joe Keery appears from the passengers seat "I guess you can say we've seen stranger things... this is really the end of the beginning... the beginning of Stonathan." Charlie Heaton appears and he hugs Joe Keery as Joe's beautiful voice breaks through the intimacy of the moment "And when I’m back in Chicago I feel it, another version of me-" his amazing voice fades out as we pan to Gracie Abrams... "I'm not down anymore... now that I know he's gay.... also he's way older now"
In the end byler was bones but stonathan was born... a Christmas miracle some would say.