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It doesn’t take the Z Team long to catch onto what a hot mess Robert Robertson III is. At first, it was what made their new dispatcher somewhat relatable. The other dispatchers they’d been given have been goodie-two-shoes narcs that had their perfect little lives in order - it fuckin’ sucked. It felt like they were rubbing it in y’know.
So yeah, at first, they’d let it slide - but then as they got to know Robert a bit more it just got fucking depressing.
They tried the whole ‘housewarming’ thing to try to get him to realise what a misserable fuck he was - y’know to try to motivate him to do something about it. It looked like it had kind of worked but then the whole thing with Chase almost dying and then Robert was fighting Shroud- the man who killed his dad and threatened to kill Beef. So the whole ‘learn how to be a real boy’ kind of fell out the window for a bit - but they have a plan!
Even though he bitches about it the whole time, Flambae still tries to feed this skinny white boy so he’s not just eating junk from the vending machine all the time "but not because I care, bitch. I just can't stand to look at that flat ass anymore - it's getting depressing, Robert."
Prism would try to improve Robert's wardrobe and general self-care. "How on earth do you have such nice skin when you barely take care of yourself?"
Sonar would totally cry over the state of Robert's finances and would actually use that Harvard graduate's brain for good to help Robert get his GED and get his finances in order. "This is just sad Bobby-Boy."
Malevola would mother this man and act as his therapist until he can afford a real one. "If you want to talk, I'm here to listen, babes." But once Mal finds out about Robert's traumatic childhood, you know Mecha Man Astral is getting FUCKED UP in Hell. She wouldn't tell Robert though - she would just make it happen.
Coupé meanwhile would start making a list of everyone who traumatised Robert and slowly hunt them down - not to kill them - but to force them to come apologise to Robert so he can work through his trauma. They would probably also relate over traumatic childhood shit and it's good for Robert to have someone who 'gets it' y'know?
Punch Up would totally try to help get Robert back into shape after his coma, but in a non-destructive way this time. They would be great sparring partners and Punch Up would totally be a great gym bud. "Don't worry about it laddie. It gives me a chance to give Theresa and Susan a good workout."
It's Golem and Visi though who finally get Robert to play for once though. Like this man has no hobbies and so they get him to join them on game nights. Robert would totally be great at videogames and would probably like pretending to be someone else in games like dnd for a bit.
And slowly, Robert starts to feel less like a robot on standby and more like a man.