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“Don’t,” Hater’s voice was terse, full of warning, and no nonsense. “Don’t even think about it Wander, I’m not caving in this time, I refuse!”
“But!” Wander practically hiccuped as he tried to keep up with his boyfriend’s thundering footsteps, voice warbling with emotion. “But Hatey, we can’t jus’—!”
“We can !” Hater turned to him with a frown, bending down to meet the star nomad eye level. “And we will ! Now put down, what—whatever that thing is so we can get back onto the Skull-Ship already!”
“But,” Wander tried once again, this time his voice soft with sorrow. “Jus’ look at this lil’ fella, Hatey, he ain’t even got a place of his own t’call home!”
Hater took a deep breath, reminding himself to keep his temper in check. Although Wander attempted to teach Hater more "constructive ways" of dealing with his anger, when he pulled constant antics that made his bones ache with frustration, it was hard to remember his breathing techniques, counting backwards and whatever else stupid, new age hippie slop Wander like to tout.
“Wander,” Hater, speaking through gritted teeth, refused to look down at the sure to be adorable fuzz ball in Wander’s arms. “We can’t take another stray in or I will never hear the end of it, you know this.”
“Hatey, I know we told Mr. Peepers that Snuffies would be the last one—”
“EVERY ONE IS THE LAST ONE! ” Hater was quick to remind Wander.
“—But have y’looked around?” Wander tried again, brows lowering in sadness. “Call it a’hunch, but it’s lookin’ like our new flower friend is bein’ stretched a lil’ thin and hasn’t been able t’reach here yet! This place is completely barren, there ain’t nowhere for this lil’ guy t’go!”
Wander sniffled as he hugged the little alien in his arms closer, giving it a nuzzle, successfully bringing the creature in question into Hater’s line of sight.
Hater glared at the little fuzzy, ink blot of a critter peeping in Wander’s arms, repeating his Commander’s clear cut plans for the day over in his skull.
‘Just a routine evaluation of the planet, sir! Sylvia and I will take one route, Wander and you can take the other, while the Watchdogs start to set up base. We’ll be in, we’ll be out—it’ll be another easy victory! ’
Hater inhaled deeply as the little animal’s eyes fell on him. On top of looking a little like Captain Tim, covered in thick, shaggy hair, it was gazing up at him with the second cutest pair of green eyes Hater had the pleasure of seeing; the first set belonged to his boyfriend pouting teary eyed up at him beside it.
With a sigh, Hater straightened up, squeezing his forehead with regret.
“Fine!” It was useless--Peepers would find something else to complain about, anyhow. “Fine, just—bring it onto the ship and keep the thing out of Peepers sight for as long as we can. Grop, Wander, I swear…”
“Oh, thank you Hatey-baby, thank you!” Wander squeaked as he reached for the Overlord, eyes warm, smile wide, and successfully melting the ice around Hater’s heart once more. “Y’jus’ the sweetest around, I swear, y’too good t’me!”
“Pfft, obviously , of course I am, you’re just lucky I’m feeling kinda nice,” Hater snorted as he scooped up Wander around the middle with ease, muttering about stupid, cute animals and stupid, cute boyfriends as he made his way back towards the Skull-Ship. “Whatever, let’s get out of here already, I want quesadillas.”
“Now, now, Hatey, hold on, we gotta slow down a smidge!” Wander pressed a peck along the ridge of Hater’s cheek, letting out a happy purr. “We gotta wait for his family, too!”
“What!?” Hater was near snarling again, but the stampede of tiny, hairy inklings forming behind them made him stop short in his tracks.
Turning around to face the horde of miniature animals behind him, Hater was shaking with fury by the time he glared down at the Wandering furball he called his beau.
At first, he had full intentions of telling Wander that letting every single one of these things, however small they were, onto the ship was out of the question, but then Wander was looking at him with his doey stare, flickering lashes and trembling lip and Hater knew he could never say no...
---
Peepers swore he could hear peeping from Lord Hater’s bedroom.
“Peepers,” Sylvia said from behind a Space Blorp tabloid as they rested above the covers. “You’re doing it again. You know, that fussing thing you do?”
“Look, I’m not being paranoid, I know what I’m hearing!” Peepers put his head beside the wall to get a better listen. “I know every little beep, blorp, and whirr this ship makes, Syl, I know they’re hiding something! You don’t hear that?!”
“Mmm,” Sylvia turned through a few pages, not looking up through her murmuring. “When you have Wander for your best friend, you tend to develop a little bit of selective hearing. You know I love him to pieces but,”
“He’s a moronic chatterbox?” A stern glare in his direction made Peepers correct himself sheepishly. “I mean, Sylvia, you’re simply a saint, dear.”
Despite her initial frowning, Sylvia smirked fondly at him, not without a roll of her eyes.
“You sure you just didn’t make a new doohickey you’re forgetting about?” Lowering her magazine, Sylvia raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend, who huffed as he leapt from off the bed.
“Positive! I’d know a peep if I made one!”
Sylvia shrugged modestly, closing her magazine. With Peepers meticulous nature and love for cataloguing, it was doubtful he’d forget. Besides—‘peep’ was right in his name, it’d probably be a noise he’d go about remembering.
“Alright, whatever you say, Peepers,” Sylvia said as she reopened her magazine, giving the pages a good shake before looking back at him.
“But knock this time,” Sylvia sneered at him knowingly. “you do remember what happened the last time, right?”
Stopping short, Peepers shuddered at the memory. “Guh, I will. I’d rather not have a repeat of temporary blindness, thank you!”
With one last look in his girlfriend’s direction, Peepers slipped out of his bedroom, marching straight towards Lord Hater’s quarters.
The more doors he passed through, the louder the peeping grew, till it was all that Peepers could hear through the usual silence of the ship at this time in the evening. The only thing he could compare the noisy back and forth to was a band of crickets chirping loudly throughout the night.
“Lord Hater, sir!” After giving a courtesy knock, Peepers had to yell through the ruckus coming from his boss’ bedroom. “Is everything alright!?”
Through the commotion of it all, Peepers could hear Wander’s distinct, soothing ‘shhh’ and the familiar, rabid hiss of Captain Tim.
“Uh, um!” There was a rustle here, and few heady footsteps there, and at the end of it, a single, quiet peep. “Fine! All good, great even! Nothing going on in here!”
“Oh?” Peepers eye narrowed in suspicion. “So you don’t mind me coming in then?”
“DON’T!” Hater was quick to shoot back, but Peepers was already turning the handwheel on the door. “We’re--we’re not decent!”
Taking his chances knowing Hater was most definitely lying, Peepers pushed open the door, blinking at the sight he was greeted with.
The carpet looked to have been… Well, moving, until he realized wiggling against the floor were hundreds of inky furballs, and undoubtedly the culprits to the peeping.
There on the bed was Wander trying to contain a furiously thrashing and jealous Tim, arms marred and hairless, but of course, smiling through it all. “Hi, Peepers~!”
And there, trying desperately to scoop up countless amounts of their new little house mates from off the floor with no success, was Lord Hater, looking frazzled and angry all at once, until he set his eyes on Peepers.
“Um,” Looking from left to right, he stood up straight, a few of the tiny aliens tumbling to the ground with the sounds of soft chirping. “I can explain! I can definitely explain, if you give me a minute to make up an excuse!”
Peepers sighed as a whole mess of animals started to fill out into the hall in a symphony of peeping, thumbing his closed eyelid in frustration. Confused stuttering and yelling down the way confirmed the Watchdogs had caught wind of the new intruders, and knowing his staff well enough, were likely freaking out with incompetency.
“Hm,” Hearing Sylvia’s voice beside him, Peepers learned into her, feeling the fuzzy, little aliens brush up against their legs. “And here I was, thinking you were audibly hallucinating, that you finally lost your mind.”
“Well,” Peepers sighed tiredly against her as she wrapped her tail about him. “Trust me: you weren’t far off.”