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rallyonrails rallyonrails rallyonrails I'm at the airport right now. Flight has just been delayed by half an hour because of "technical difficulties". We all know what that means right? merrychasingtail No, what does that mean? rallyonrails I'm at Shabaody Airport, if that helps at all in understanding. Sorry, that's about as explicit as I'm going to get on this. rallyonrails Lol. Getting predictable hate from the fanboys. Die mad, bootlickers. rallyonrails Flight has been delayed again, now scheduled for an hour later. Fuck this shit for a lark, I didn't even want to go and now here we are. This sucks. rallyonrails Still waiting on the plane. At least I get the comfort of not being alone in my frustration with "technical difficulties". A man with a little kid in his arms just walked by me. We made brief eye contact right as another announcement was made about how "Technical difficulties" have not been resolved yet. Guy and I shared the cosmic understanding of how much "technical difficulties" suck with eye contact alone.

Cute kid. Little red head in a blue shirt with I think ships on it? Smiled at me. Adorbs. rallyonrails Man is clearly doing rounds around the airport, he has passed me three times now. I can only assume he is trying to get the little kid to sleep, he is doing that kind of swaying step and I think I heard him humming under his breath right as he passed me. Toddler is not going to sleep anytime soon, I can tell you that. Most awake kid I have ever seen. Absolutely huge eyes excitedly looking at anything and everything. rallyonrails Lmao! A different man is making the rounds with the kid now. Previous man had a goatee, this one has an incredible moustache. Hella tall, but the moustache is more impressive. It's long, and curly like one of those old villain types. Also wears a pink shirt. Lets hear it for a man proudly wearing pink and taking care of a kid, people. Toddler is still very much awake, in case anyone is curious.

Flight has been pushed back again. May actually not mind as much, if I get to see more of the little kid. I got another big smile when I waved. rallyonrails Have found out that the toddler is a boy! And the kid's name, but I'm not telling the internet that one. Also, because people have been asking in the notes, I am utterly bad at judging but I would guess between one and two ish? Maybe? Look, little babies all look the same to me until they're about five, this is my best guess.

Also, there are indeed ships on his shirt, which is darn cute. Second man has called the little kid a pirate and received much enthusiasm for this. I don't think that was a smart idea, personally. Got the bab just more excited. You know, instead of sleepy. Which is presumably still the goal of all this walking around. rallyonrails Holy shit, there is a third man. How many are there? Is there just a gaggle of middle aged men running around with this one toddler? I may need to go investigate. Or wait here and see if there are any more coming, considering that the flight is still being delayed.

Third man is wearing sunglasses indoors, though. Come on man, it's evening, it's dark outside, you don't need sunglasses, this makes you look like a douche, your group was going so strong until now, don't be a douche. Impressive hair, though. Like, that is an amount of volume I can only dream of. First the moustache and goatee, and now a ponytail that is bigger than the kid? Why do all these men have such impressive hair? This seems excessive.

Toddler still very awake. Has declared the notification board "quackie." Sunglasses is nodding gravely and declaring it very quack indeed. I will reluctantly forgive him the crime of indoor sunglasses for that. But only because the little boy is so cute to make up for it.

The signpost on the other hand is very "moo moo". Me thinks we are in the learning animal sounds phase of child development. rallyonrails Toddler has now been carried past me for the fourteenth time, five times by first man, six by second and now three times by the third. Yes, I am keeping count, this is the most exciting thing happening while we wait. Still not a sign of sleep in sight, though. The men look progressively more exhausted, the kid more awake. I in turn, am utterly delighted. rallyonrails Still waiting for this stupid flight.

Toddler is being carried by first man again. Toddler is definitely far more awake than first man. In fact, toddler is more awake than everyone else in this here airport, including all the other guys back where they spawn from, presumably. Gotta say, that's an admirable amount of stamina for such a little body.

Signpost has been reclassified to be "boom". Don't know if I find this very appropriate or very inappropriate for a signpost in an airport. holyseaenjoyer Have there been any more guys since, op? Please, I need to know. rallyonrails Sorry for leaving you waiting on an update. I have made an incredibly stealthy relocation of my person and am now on a bench beside them. Success! They are a way bigger group than I have anticipated. Am left wondering what exactly nine guys are doing journeying with one (1) little toddler. A fourth man is currently off with said boy, by the way, for yet another round around the building. Have stopped counting at this time, so I can't tell you how many rounds it's been now, sorry. It's been a lot, though.

Cannot even begin to describe fourth man's hairdo. Best approximation I can make is old man tonsure but also flower petals? Look, it escapes words, you really need to have seen it to believe this one. Also, there is another guy that is definitely not able to see past his bangs. Fully expect him to walk into a post soon. My guy, like how. rallyonrails Fourth man has returned. The rest turned hopeful eyes on him, but collectively slumped upon seeing little Red still wide awake and showing no sign of slowing down. Not a yawn in sight. In fact, toddler is giggling madly, and trying to eat his sleeve. The guys aren't so lucky. I have never seen a gaggle of guys so dejected. This is hilarious. You go little man, keep them on their toes, I support all your wrong doings.

Unrelated question but how do you keep toddlers awake? No no, don't mind me, nothing to see here.

(Have waved at the kid again, gotten even more enthusiastic waving back. Me and the kid are now in an unspoken alliance of torture uh entertainment uh friendship. Either way, we are definitely winning this war of attrition.) rallyonrails Uh oh, me thinks a tantrum is fast approaching. I can only assume this is for the grave crime of not being carried around the airport for five whole minutes. Which is obviously a right tragedy, I agree. rallyonrails Appeasement in the form of food has been attempted, as it seems they are all tired of walking around the same path again and again while toddler babbles cheerfully and refuses to sleep.

Let me report the findings:
- "Apply" Juice (yes said like that): Outraged expression of Supreme Disgust. Not well received, to say the least. Same, baby, same.
- One of those tasteless rice waffles: Carefully considered but ultimately rejected, much to mister Moustache's gloom. Mister Moustache got kicked in the shin by mister Goatee for the theatrics and has slinked off to nurse his bruised shin and pride. Toddler has found this hilariously funny.
- Puff rice chip: Exactly one (1) has been taken. Notably not eaten. The rest are now uninteresting. (My money is on the single one being used as a precision projectile later on. I'm onto your wily plan, little baby Red, and fully support it.)
- One of those yoghurt tubes: Best reaction to date. Toddler actually looked interested for a whole three seconds before he got distracted babbling at a passer-by.

End result: Toddler has not been fed, but has thankfully been distracted from the tantrum with a picture book. The book is about pirates. I am sensing a theme here. rallyonrails Okay it's definitely a Thing, there have been three more books about pirates and a parrot plushy, which got chucked at another one of the guys (bald and no facial hair, shame on him) with a gleeful laugh. I am left wondering if toddler really loves pirates or if it's the guys that love pirates.

Mister Moustache does kind of look like a real life pirate captain, come to think of it. I can totally see him wearing one of those big black hats with the jolly roger, and a parrot on the shoulder. Or a red headed kid, as it were. The other guys are clearly his crew. Doesn't explain the toddler, though. everywhereatoms Oh oh, Red is the cabin boy! It totally fits! Also, the hair thing too, pirate captain's always have impressive beards and stuff, don't they. rallyonrails Had to google it but yeah, I see the vision. I shall call him Cabin Boy from now on. To update you all of what is happening, Cabin Boy has just won a very intense argument with mister Goatee. He has done this with such marvellously linguistic tricks like "no no sleepy" and "me go uppies?" and "peas". Either toddler is very polite or has need for more food, can't quite tell. Either way, he has come out victorious. As such he is not going to lay in his stroller as advised, but will instead continue to be carried around until such a time where he deems it acceptable not to be. Judging by the precedent, this is going to be a few hours yet. Mister Goatee has been sent for another round, presumably as punishment for loosing, with an expression of despair only catastrophic losses or little cabin boys can induce in people. everywhereatoms I nominate little Red Cabin Boy for new president. Clearly he has superb arguing and leading skills. maymaymayyyyy Seconded rallyonrails I declare it so! All hail our new supreme leader! He will bring much arrgh and many ships and even more walkies to our lives as our supreme ruler, presumably. Also maybe a sippy cup or two, the little man can drink when he wants to, wow. No appy juice, though. Mister Moustache is still sulking about that, but stays out of mister Goatee's range now. rallyonrails Success! Cabin Boy has accepted the grand offering of a cup of fruit mush that one of them bought in the supermarket one level down. It seems little Red loves fruit mush with a passion, where he often snobs anything else. I know this for a fact now, because I am shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation. Hilariously healthy little boy, isn't he. Doesn't quite fit the tyrant image he has going otherwise, but he is still wide awake and going strong while his minders are all collectively slumping over the benches and their own luggage, so yeah. The tiny man is definitely winning. Truly incredible, considering that this is not their first stop if I heard that right. Supposedly they have been travelling all day long already, during which no naps were tolerated. Can I just say, that's inspiring amounts of stamina.

Guy who brought the fruit mush has a pretty cool ponytail. If you looked at that hair amongst normal people it would definitely be impressive, but sadly the others overshadow him. Including the Cabin Boy, whose hair is even redder than ponytail guy's, somehow. rallyonrails Another "technical difficulties" announcement. More waiting. General reaction is utter exhaustion and rising anger. It's getting really late. I think I speak for all of us when I say that Cabin Boy's cry of "NO!" represents our collective feelings on this matter pretty well.

The cry came to be because mister Sunglasses was trying to be sneaky and lay him down on one of the seats instead of the stroller for sleepy-time after another round of carrying him. Cabin Boy will not be so tricked, though! He is way too smart for that and now demands more fruit mush as recompense for this grave insult. I think we should all aspire to be so clear and effective in our communications as Cabin Boy, frankly. rallyonrails They are singing a shanty! A sea shanty! Not that Wellerman one, but it's definitely got the same feeling to it. There are verses about looting, even. Guys, the pirate allegations are not allegations anymore! Cabin Boy is absolutely thrilled and even deigns to sit on his own without being carried! He is clapping along and clumsily trying to sing the words. I am in danger of crying about all this. Probably a mix of frustration and how tired I am, but also this is far too cute. Glad to report that the guys make for a very good chorus. rallyonrails Miserable wretch of a Karen has come over to complain about "the noise". Has even gotten airport people involved. Shame on her, shame on her family, shame on her cow, now they've stopped. Cabin Boy looks absolutely gutted about this and frankly, so do at least half the other people here. They were good! Impromptu life concert, what is there to party poop all over, hello. Bet Karen would love to be part of the "technical difficulties," she seems the same kind of rotten. holyseaenjoyer Booo i-suggest-curses I have a suggestion. rallyonrails I couldn't possibly guess what, tumblr user i-suggest-curses. Appreciate the initiative, though. And so does Cabin Boy, I'm sure. He really wants the singing back. rallyonrails Oh finally. Boarding for our flight has been announced to start soon. I will see if there are still going to be updates in the plane, though obviously not while up in the air. rallyonrails Aw, Cabin Boy is in the far back of the plane with his crew and I am up front. Probably not gonna have any more updates on him then. Sad, they were so entertaining to watch. rallyonrails I have arrived at destination, exhausted and crabby but whole. Incredibly happy to report that Cabin Boy has tottered back and forth the walkway between the seats the whole flight long. With only a twenty minutes break in the middle, presumably for more fruit mush and not any atrocities like sleeping. Also incredibly happy to report that this has definitely given at least half of the guys back problems from how far they have to bend down to keep a hold of his hands. Serves mister Moustache Captain right for being so darn tall.

I'm kind of concerned about this kid's stamina though. That was a two hour flight and he didn't flag one bit the whole time, smiling at anyone that caught his eyes. Yes, I did wave at him again and yes, he got very excited about it again. But seriously. How little does this kid sleep? No wonder the guys were so desperate to get him to nap, toddler clearly needs to be forced to rest properly.

They went and piled themselves into some kind of coach situation after we got through customs, incidentally with another gaggle of guys already inside who all loudly cheered the boy's name as soon as they saw him. Cabin Boy is definitely not going to sleep after that bit of excitement, but there is now fresh meat to hoist him off to, so there is that. Don't think anyone has to worry about him, he clearly has a team of retainers to fulfill every wish he can think of and a few more, lmao. Incredibly cute stuff all in all, but that's it guys, last update on this post.

(The coach had ships painted on the sides. Absolutely sure this is a pirate crew. How does one search for modern day pirate crews? Asking for a friend.) #all hail airport baby#Conqueror of Naps #I really need an in on this pirate business it sounds superb#Yes I did change my icon to a pirate flag what about it 69,420 notes