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Kurapika woke up with his face pressed into Leorio’s collarbone. A quick glance at the clock showed that it wasn't even 5 am, too early for even the former mafia boss. Despite that, it looked like going back to sleep soon was going to prove difficult. Early mornings and all nighters were common in his previous employment. And on that damn whale? It’s a miracle that he didn’t drop dead on that stupid boat from his insane lack of rest. Kurapika had gotten used to taking it easy now, but old habits die hard.
The one who was responsible for his lazier (healthier, he would be rebutted so snarkly) lifestyle was currently snoring into his hair. A wave of affection washed over him. Here Kurapika was, alive and happy, because of Leorio Paladiknight. A brash and stubborn man, who also had the kindest heart he has ever seen. The voicemails sometimes cursing him out but mostly giving him updates and checking on his wellbeing were a lifeline on those silent nights. Leorio breaking the rules to see him on the Black Whale, even with his own crazy work hours. How he still chases away the nightmares with his absolutely amazing smile. Everything about him made his heart feel so full.
How am I so lucky?
The scar of losing his clan would never fully go away. It will continue to be sore and hurt when poked at. However, after finding all the eyes, Kurapika was a lost and broken shell of a human. More importantly, he was so, so tired of being angry. That was where Leorio came in. He picked up the pieces and molded him back together into something resembling a whole shape. It was a slow process, but eventually he started doing things that sounded impossible for him a year prior. He spent time with Gon and Killua, started wearing his traditional clothing again, smiled more, and realized that he was in love. All thanks to the man he was currently pressed against. He would never forget his people, but instead of revenge, he would live as happily as he could for them.
In an effort to go back to sleep while immersed in his pleasant memories, Kurapika curled more into Leorio. Fortunately and unfortunately, Leorio was always good at seeing right through him, and even in his sleep, could apparently tell that he was feeling sentimental. Stirring, he let out a huge yawn and blinked blearily at Kurapika.
“Mornin’ Sunshine. Whuzzap?” he drawled.
Kurapika’s heart stuttered at hearing the nickname spoken so warmly. “Leorio, it’s still early. Go back to sleep.”
The man may have preached good sleeping habits, but judging from the shadows under his eyes, it was easier said than done. They were both still part of the Zodiacs, but Cheadle had been okay with them taking on minor roles.
“You two are still more helpful than Ging and Pariston ever were,” he remembered her saying.
Still, he put a lot of effort into his role as the Boar, and that’s not adding in him going through med school and becoming a doctor. Looking at him now, it’s obvious that he’s being stretched thin. Leorio deserved to rest. Not that you could tell him that though.
“You’re not asleep though. Is everything okay?”
Ah, his words are coming together, and he’s started to stroke his hair. No stopping him now.
“I’m really okay, I was just thinking about the Kurta clan and where I am now, is all.”
Leorio’s eyes showed understanding, but behind it, a bit of guilt flashed there as well. Kurapika sighed because he knew what that was about. Him and Leorio didn’t have the most pleasant first meeting. The comment about his clan had hurt him deeply at the time, but learning who Leorio really was had him forgiving the man pretty quickly. Truth be told, at the time, the very few people who had known about his situation had tiptoed around him and treated him like he was delicate. And here this guy was with no tact, telling him off for being rude (albeit, in an incredibly poor way). Kurapika hadn’t appreciated it at the time, but it had been a relief to get out his frustration and feelings in that fight.
He hasn’t thought about it much since then. Kurapika had forgiven Leorio for that long ago, and he’d always suspected there was something deeper there. The man in question was hotheaded, but never cruel.
Leorio seems to have still not forgiven himself for it, however. He had apologized for it at the time, but every instance where his clan was mentioned, he got that same look on his face. Kurapika hadn’t realized how much he still thought about it until a few years ago.
After years of being a Blacklist Hunter, Kurapika had finally retrieved all of the eyes of his clan members. It was time to have a burial for them in his old village. The mafia boss turned jobless was tired of being alone, so he asked Leorio to accompany him, fully expecting him to refuse. Those years of one-sided silence had to have been infuriating for him, but he should've known. Leorio had looked hesitant for all of one second before agreeing feverishly.
“Of course I’ll go. When do we leave?” God, he was too good for him.
It was a long way to the Lukso Province, and the two had gotten to talk a lot in that time. They had gotten to somewhat catch up on the Black Whale, but between the Succession War and the Dark Continent, it wasn't much more than them fighting and making up about the extended time of no contact from one of them. During this journey, Kurapika really remembered how much he enjoyed Leorio’s company. So much so, there were times that he almost forgot the purpose of the trip. When they finally arrived, he was somber but ready to finally put his people to rest. He eventually realized a few meters in that Leorio wasn’t following him and was firmly planted at the village border, refusing to step forward. Before he could question him, Leorio bowed deeply and started speaking. Loudly.
“Hello Kurta clan!! You don’t know me, but my name is Leorio Paladiknight! Your Kurapika here is a really close friend of mine, and we even took the Hunter Exam together. He kept me alive multiple times.”
He stopped and hesitated before clenching his fists by his sides and moving on.
“...Unfortunately, I said something deeply insulting about you all when we first met. I’d like to apologize for that. Your clan is not filthy, and you didn’t deserve what happened to you or my ignorant words. I’d like to know more about you all and your culture, but for now, let me say this. I’M SORRY!!”
He somehow ended it with an even high level of volume and his bow went even lower. Kurapika hadn’t realized that he had tears going down his face until just then. Only one thing was going through his head.
What is this? Oh. I love him. I am absolutely in love with Leorio.
That probably should have been more of a shock to him, but after all those years, it just felt natural. He quickly wiped his face and went over to him. “Leorio, it’s okay. They would’ve forgiven you.” Between the eyes and this, Kurapika wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take.
He stood back up, but looked at Kurapika, affronted. “This isn’t about forgiveness, that’s not what I’m doing it for. I said something horrible and stupid, and they deserve an apology for it. It’s the absolute bare minimum, honestly.”
“...Again, I’m sorry to you too.” He added that part more softly.
How is this man so perfect?
“I appreciate that and I’m sure they do too. If you’d like, I can introduce and tell you about everyone as we do this. Loved ones passing on is a sad occurrence obviously, but the Kurta traditions had us treat it as a happy remembrance as well. I’m sure they’d prefer that over a more somber mood.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t that too personal? Won’t it be hard for you?”
“It may be too personal for anyone else, but for you, it’s okay. I’d like to tell you about them, Leorio.”
And so, Kurapika told him about the elders, his parents, and Pairo. He spoke of his earlier years: getting into mischief, dreaming about life outside the Lukso Province, all the celebrations with his people, and more. The whole time, Leorio was patient and understanding. He chimed in and laughed when it was necessary, but never pushed when Kurapika talked of a memory that stung particularly hard. By the end, Kurapika felt freer than he had been in years, but also incredibly drained.
Leorio could probably sense that he was about ready to pass out. He tenderly put his hand on his shoulder and asked, “Are you ready to go?” After a small nod, he was gently led out of the village. To where, he wasn’t quite sure anymore. However, he knew that wherever it was, it was going to be next to Leorio.
That was two years ago and since then, they had grown closer than ever before. There were fights of course—they would never truly be them if they didn’t have some of their famous arguments with their foreheads pressed together. Usually they ended in laughter, kisses, and even more. Kurapika blushed and shook his head before going too far down that train of thought.
A small grunt reminded him of what brought him to think of all this in the first place. Seeing that look on Leorio’s face made him wonder.
“I’m okay,” he repeated. “But I do have a question.”
Leorio raised his eyebrows, indicating for him to continue.
“Back when we first met, why did you say that about my clan?”
Okay, maybe he could’ve eased into that a bit better—or at all. However, this early in the morning (asscrack of dawn, as Leorio would call it), his communication skills were admittedly worse than usual. Sue him. Whatever Leorio had been expecting, it certainly was not that. He started flailing his arms under the blanket and started stuttering out, “I’m so sorry about that—”
“I know Leorio. I’m not mad, and I’ve forgiven you for that long ago.” Kurapika made sure to cut him off before his panicked squawking got out of control. Leorio clamped his mouth shut and listened apprehensively. “I’m not mad, it’s just… You acted so differently before and at the beginning of the exam than in the later stages. And especially after the exam, you mellowed out.” For Leorio at least. It makes me think… Did something happen? It’s not like you to be intentionally hurtful.”
Leorio looked uncomfortable. “It’s really not much, and there’s no excuse…” He trailed off when he saw the look on Kurapika’s face. The man could be stubborn as a mule, but Kurapika himself could be very hardheaded as well. Leorio sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going to win this one.
“Okay well, I guess there were two main reasons. Starting with the simpler one, part of it was probably stress. The Hunter Exam is dangerous. I know how to fight—had to learn growing up in the slums— but the exam was on a whole different scale. I'm a healer. I’m not as good in battle as you or the kids, and I didn’t get to train as much as I wanted to. Between saving money and studying for med school, it fell to the side. When I had a free moment, I would look up some techniques but it never amounted to much. My street skills with a knife were about all I had.”
It was interesting, learning about his past. There were already so many questions Kurapika wanted to ask, but he kept silent and let Leorio continue.
“Years had gone by and I hadn’t had nearly enough money saved. It was like the clock was ticking, and the older I got, the more I felt like time was running out for me. Nineteen years old and I didn’t even feel close to med school. Desperation set in, and I decided to take the exam sooner rather than later. So with nothing but my briefcase and pocketknife, I went. I tried to act confident, but I felt like a nervous wreck. Heck, there was a good chance I was gonna die. Looking back, my sour mood turned that fake confidence into arrogance. I really was acting like an ass.” He chuckled self-deprecatingly.
Sour mood? Kurapika felt like they were getting closer to the root cause. He looked into Leorio’s eyes and silently implored him to go on.
Leorio’s voice took on a more sober tone. “The reason for that probably starts from when I was a kid. You already know that I grew up poor. I’m not ashamed of it, and I wasn’t then either.” He shifted a bit and let out a sigh. “But I’m not gonna lie, it was frustrating. My city was just small enough that we only had one big school for everyone. That meant the rich kids and the poor kids—the ones who could manage to go anyway— and everyone in between were all put together.”
He must’ve looked confused, because Leorio went on to explain.
“In my country, public school doesn’t actually cost money until higher education. So in theory, everyone can go. But every child is another mouth to feed, so by the time many kids become old enough to start making money on their own, they drop out. Working and going to school is too much of a hassle.”
“You finished school though, correct?” Kurapika questioned.
Leorio nodded. “Yeah, I was adamant on finishing. Med school wasn’t gonna happen for me if I couldn’t even finish high school. Managed to power through while still making some money on the side. Maybe… not in the greatest way though, since making money with little time meant I had to hustle for it. Not the safest things to do in those areas, to be honest. Probably scared my mom half to death more times than I’d like to admit. It worked though, and hey! Haggling is an essential life skill I have now because of it.” Leorio grinned before moving on.
“Anyways, all the kids, regardless of background, were mixed together in one school. So the kids from the poor families got to be the targets of bullying. The adults at school didn’t do much to stop it. It’s not like it was us paying their salaries. And if we fought back? We were just the uncivilized barbarians that they were calling us. There was no winning.”
“But you still did fight back?” Kurapika pressed.
“Of course! It may not be my best feature, but I had a temper back then too. Anyone who tried picking on me or Pietro was gonna get it!”
“Your friend?”
“Yeah, my best friend. Once he started getting sick, he became an even bigger target. When he got admitted to the hospital, it was the worst feeling, but the silver lining was that he didn’t have to deal with their nonsense anymore. That fell to me.”
Kurapika never realized that growing up in a very small and tight-knit community had advantages like those. He had found it almost suffocating at times, but right now he was grateful for the love that was so present in his childhood. He tightened his hold onto Leorio, hoping to bring some comfort to the man. He gave a weak smile back.
“I’m fine. I could handle it.” His gaze turned a bit pained. “But being completely honest, being their new target wore on me a bit. And by the time I was sixteen, I was one of three people my age that was below the poverty line and still going to school. It kept getting worse. I had the top grades of my year, but I was still getting told that I wouldn’t amount to anything. According to them, being a doctor was a rich people’s profession. I should work a trade job if I’m lucky and be a beggar if I’m not.” Suddenly, Leorio looked older and very tired. He doesn’t think the late hour was the reason for it.
“It was draining. I think I started getting my actual goals mixed up with wanting to be held in a higher opinion. I was tired of being disrespected. The obsession of being called Mr. Leorio probably came from that mindset." He looked sheepish as he said that. Then his face darkened.
“Not long before I finished school, Pietro died. That broke me for a while, but it’s the reason that sharpened my goal path. Becoming a doctor was always a dream of mine, but after that, I wanted to make sure families like mine or Pietro’s could receive proper care. The way to do that was to become a Hunter. Obviously, no one thought I could do it, but that wasn’t gonna stop me.”
Kurapika gave him a sad smile and quietly agreed. Leorio certainly was tenacious. It was one of his favorite things about him, even if it caused him to worry. No matter how inconceivable something might be, Leorio wouldn’t let that stop him. He truly was amazing.
“I prepared as much as I could and then it came time for me to leave for the exam. There was a clinic that I would help out at often. Gave me good practice working with patients. The only doctor there wasn’t spectacular, but still a godsend to have in those parts. He definitely wasn’t rich, but had more money than my family could make in five years. Guess that made him think that he was better than me. I thought that he at least somewhat recognized my determination. But right before I left, he said that I needed more “class” to become a doctor and that a broke kid from the slums didn’t have that.”
Kurapika sucked in a breath. He remembered one of the first things he had said to Leorio.
You can’t buy class with money, Leorio.
Oh. Oh. That was really bad timing, wasn’t it?
Leorio was looking at him and could see when it clicked for Kurapika. “Yeah… I think hearing that so soon after what the doctor said, plus you refusing to call me Mr. Leorio—it snapped something in my brain. All I could think about was everyone telling me that I wasn’t good enough my whole life. So I hurled out the most hurtful thing I could think of. One of the more common insults I would get is being called filthy. Staying squeaky clean in that area was a luxury. Our clothes would be tattered and dusty often, and everyone made sure to let us know. So that’s what I spat out at you. Really childish and hypocritical of me, honestly.” He looked truly ashamed.
Kurapika was so grateful to be getting a full picture of the man lying in bed with him. Besides the small part he was able to glean out of him in the first stage of the exam, Kurapika hadn’t heard much of Leorio’s formative years until now. His past tended to make others hesitant about sharing their own, which he always thought was silly. His history doesn’t invalidate someone else’s. He’d like for Leorio to share more about himself—the good and the bad. Just like Kurapika did at the village.
“So that’s why…” he murmured.
Leorio started up again. “I guess, but none of what I said excuses it.”
Kurapika didn’t fully agree. “You have to admit… I was pretty rude and what I said must have been a big trigger for you.”
“Maybe, but… Kurapika, nothing you said warranted my reaction. It just wasn’t acceptable.”
He thought for a moment. “Would you say it now?”
Leorio looked absolutely floored. “Of course not!”
“Then I don’t see any need for you to continue being guilty about it.”
It looked like he was opening his mouth again to refute but Kurapika stopped him before. “No, let me finish. Whenever I bring up my clan, there’s always some degree of regret coming off of you. In my opinion, and I’m sure that my clan would agree, it is unnecessary. You realize it was wrong, apologized—to both me and my clan—multiple times, and wouldn’t dream of ever doing it again. You are forgiven, and I’d like you to be happy while talking about them. I’m sure that they would appreciate that too. Honestly, were they still around, they would probably already consider you one of us. So you don’t have to feel that way anymore. We’re family and I love you. Please forgive yourself.”
Not even the darkness in the room could hide how red Leorio’s face was. He looked so stunned and before Kurapika knew it, his face was pushed into the man’s neck and he was blubbering.
“Pikaaaaaaa!! I’m so lucky to have youuuuu!!” He babbled.
Kurapika smiled and nuzzled in closer. No, I’m lucky to have you.
Eventually, Leorio’s sobs quieted down to smaller sniffles. He pulled back and his face was a mess. An absolutely beautiful mess.
“Good thing you don’t have work today,” Kurapika joked as he lightly wiped Leorio’s face.
“Shut up,” he laughed back.
Kurapika considered something for a minute. “For the record, I apologize too. I was terribly rude to you when we first met. My comments were pretty tactless. You deserve an apology for that as well.”
More tears threatened to spring from Leorio’s eyes, but he blinked them back. Kurapika was pulled closer yet again, but this time, they were nose to nose. “You’re forgiven,” was whispered before he was pulled in for a kiss. And oh. This was completely perfect, he could not be happier. They kissed slowly until his mind was filled with nothing but his love for Leorio.
They finally parted and through the haze, Kurapika voiced one foggy thought. “Would you tell me more about the memories of your past? The happy ones too?”
“Sure, but can we go back to sleep first?” Leorio yawned. He then noticed how much the man was fading. He was already lacking enough sleep, and the emotional talk probably took a lot out of him as well. Crying is very exhausting, he probably felt shattered. Kurapika felt his own eyelids getting heavy, so he snuggled closer.
“Of course, sleep well. I love you.”
“I love you too…” Leorio mumbled back before his breathing evened out. He was already asleep.
Kurapika settled and laid his head on Leorio’s chest. He could hear the steady thumping of his heartbeat lulling him to sleep. One last thought came to his mind before drifting off.
Ah Melody is right. Leorio’s heartbeat really is the most soothing.