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It was a good day for Ruggie.
He hummed to himself a happy little tune as he walked to the little postal portal at the end of the large hallway. Today, he was receiving a package from back home.
It happened far and few in between, but once a month or every two months, his grandmother would send him a package of random tidbits from back home. Sometimes the package was large, sometimes small, it was an arrangement that Ruggie had tried to put a stop to when it first happened, insisting on not wasting too much money on something like this. He had gotten an earful for that one and has come to accept and enjoy the packages he’s been getting.
This month’s package was midsized, one he could throw in the air and catch like basketball. Which he was doing during the walk back to his dorm. He was busy fantasizing what it could be when a voice startled him from nearby.
“Ruggie! Hey, Ruggie!” Kalim calls out, practically bouncing over to him. It was a sunny day and the sun seemed to favor Kalim more than the others with the way it painted the Scarabian's skin golden and glinted his adorned jewellery beautifully against it. Ruggie’s eyes zeroed in on the boy and gave him a smile back in greeting.
“Fancy seeing you here! Did you eat yet? I was just about to go get some snacks and was looking for someone to go with me! Wanna come with?”
“Not today Kalim,” Ruggie shakes his head, missing the way the other’s shoulders sagged ever so slightly. “Today I got a lil somethin’ to do.”
He raises his package to show off, enjoying the curious “ooooh” Kalim let out. His eyes gleam with interest that Ruggie basks in, raising the package even higher.
“What is it?”
“Received some post from back home. Boutta go back to my room an’ open it.”
“Sounds fun! Can I come with you?”
Ruggie lets out a short laughter fueled mostly by shock rather than mockery. Kalim has never been one for social cues, a fact that most of the college was well aware of, but even he must know to not invite himself over so randomly.
Thinking so, Ruggie turned to the boy to shoot him down when he saw a sort of desperation lingering in Kalim’s eyes. As though he really wanted to go with Ruggie. It was a feeling that Ruggie could not elaborate on, but there was loneliness in those eyes that Ruggie used to see in Leona’s even when he was surrounded by masses of people.
“Sure,” he found himself saying and the two of them marched off to Savanaclaw.
Bringing Kalim in was easy, maneuvering him around to ensure no one saw them or started a rumor was a tad difficult but doable, bringing him into Ruggie’s room…it was a feat that the hyena beastman found impossible to do.
“Uh, Ruggie. Are we going to go in?”
“Yeah just…just give me a minute."
Ruggie hesitated at the door again, mind finally kicking back to its usual gear. What was he thinking bringing Kalim into his dorm just because he looked a little lonely or whatever? Since when did he care about things like that? How rude would it be to tell the boy he changed his mind and so he needed to get out?
He stared at Kalim blankly, trying to form words when he heard a few voices from around the corridor. Instinct kicked in as he grabbed Kalim and pushed him inside, embarrassment be damned.
Unfortunately, embarrassment was not damned once he saw Kalim looking around with large eyes.
Unlike most dorms, Savanaclaw students didn’t share rooms due to multiple past incidents that Ruggie was damn thankful for. Ruggie’s room was clean of course. By clean he meant it was empty and pretty bare. It was the standard room with a bed, closet and study desk, but that was it. Ruggie didn’t have much of anything to keep around for himself and it wasn’t a fact that he minded. Yet right now, with Kalim’s curious eyes scanning his room, it felt mortifying. Like he should be explaining himself, or apologizing for the emptiness or-
“I really like your room Ruggie!”
“Uh, what?”
“Yeah!” Kalim turns to him, nothing but honesty filling his eyes, “it’s so clean and orderly. Jamil would cry if he saw it. He’s always telling me to keep my room more clean!”
Ruggie laughs, taking a seat on the ground.
“I mean, you probably got a ton more stuff than I do lyin’ around your room, so.” He hesitates, unsure if he should be seating Kalim on the bed. The boy plops down right next to him without a sense of decorum, already acting like it was his own room.
“I mean probably! But I bet you’d keep everything you have clean!”
Kalim nudges his shoulder and Ruggie covers up the fact that he shifts away with a nonchalant shrug. He doesn't bother thinking about the way the touch burned as he pulled out the package again, excitement from before flooding back in.
“Now, since you’re here, wanna try and guess what’s inside?”
“Food!”
“I mean, well yeah obviously!” Ruggie rolled his eyes, “you know what, let me just open it.”
The two of them held their breaths as Ruggie smoothly cut the box open with a nearby penknife. He pushed the flap-like lids apart and began to take out the few items he had received this time. A large packet of beef jerky, a scarf for the winter, and a bunch of letters.
Pleased with the items, Ruggie puts them all down on the floor before picking up the letters. He sorts through them, reading the bad grammar from the kids back home, most of them just writing to brag about the fact that they knew how to write now. There was a few letter from his older, similar aged friends that was mostly written to make fun of him and what they think he should bring back for the holidays this time. Still, fondness blooms in his chest and he puts them down as well, reminding himself to file them away later tonight. He finally turns to Kalim, who he has been waiting to make a grandiose exclamation but has heard nothing from.
Kalim is staring at the handful of items on the floor, cross-legged with his hands motionlessly on his lap. There is a small smile on his face and in his eyes, the loneliness seems to have grown.
“Kalim?”
At once, Kalim’s blank expression disappears and is replaced with his usual bright grin. It’s a switch that should have appeased Ruggie but instead leaves him more troubled.
“I love the stuff you got! It’s so cool! Can I, touch the scarf?”
“Sure.”
Kalim grabs the dark yellow scarf and immediately coos over how soft it is. Ruggie with amusement as the boy brings it up to his face and covers himself with it, muffled praises about its softness still coming along.
“Your grandma made this by hand?”
“You bet,” Ruggie leans in to brag, “she’s always had a talent for handcrafts, always makin’ lil birdhouses, clothes or even whole furniture! Everythin’ I learned is from her.”
“She sounds amazing,” Kalim smiles at him again, the soft smile from before that Ruggie has to force himself to tear his gaze away from.
He clears his throat before speaking up again, “bet you get cool stuff too from back home. Should invite me over to see ‘em sometime.”
He realizes he had said the wrong thing for once when Kalim's face drops, smile going from joyful to plastic-like. The scarf falls onto his lap as he speaks, staring into the distance of Ruggie’s dorm room.
“Not really. I mean, I used to get stuff from them all the time! But then, every single time something was poisoned, or cursed, or had a weird tracking device that the headmaster had to disable and…it became too risky to send stuff so we agreed to not do that anymore!”
He finishes the sentence with a laugh that sounded far more shaky than any of them wanted to admit. Neither says a word, not meeting each other’s gazes as they just sit there.
The inside of Ruggie’s mind was a tornado though, regret and panic spinning around to form even more of the same emotions. He knew Kalim’s history of…being poisoned and cursed and kidnapped, he should have been able to figure this much out! But no, instead he has gone and upset Kalim.
“That sucks.”
“I guess!” Kalim laughs again, sounding a bit more firm. “I’m fine though, it’s just-”
He is interrupted by a melodic tune and Ruggie watches dazedly as Kalim pulls out his phone and jumps up. He can barely get a word out as Kalim runs to the door.
“Sorry Ruggie, Jamil’s calling me, I gotta go now! But…it was super fun today! We should totally hang out more, byeeee!”
The door shuts behind him and he hears a series of rushed footsteps. Ruggie doesn't even bother to hope that no one sees him. He is still stuck on the moment now, mind still lingering on the sight of the look on Kalim’s face.
Kalim was upset because of him, the thought was an arrow strike to Ruggie who was more desperate to fix this than he expected himself to be. Kalim was the very personification of kindness, and a simple apology would suffice. Ruggie knew that, he had used that fact to his benefit before. But it didn’t feel right.
He sees the scarf on the floor and picks it up, remembering the gleeful smile on Kalim’s face. He recalls the way the boy had brought the scarf close to his face and has to push the cloth back into the box to stop himself from mimicking the action.
It takes him a week to use that scarf without thinking of gold earrings and ruby eyes.
“Hey Leona.”
“What?” Leona opens an eye to look at the boy sitting next to him. Ruggie knew it was out of character for him to interrupt their silence, but he had to ask and this was their only free time with just them today.
“You ever get stuff from back home?”
“What? Like post?”
“Yeah.”
Leona hums to himself, “not really. I told ‘em not to send shit but they still do sometimes, when the little runt wants to send something.”
“What do you usually get?”
“Drawings,” he lets out a laugh that Ruggie isn’t sure is annoyed or amused, “like I said, the little brat decides he has to show off his drawings, and sometimes letters, also from him. They also send me snacks though, you've eaten them before.”
Ruggie nods, remembering the sugared fruits and salted nuts he had snacked on like they belonged to him. He silently hoped that Cheka decides to send Leona a package again soon.
“So what’s all this about? I know you got a package yesterday.”
“Yeah, the usual.”
“Well obviously not if you’re being all thoughtful about it.”
Ruggie thought of insisting that nothing was wrong, but the memory has been eating him up for two days now. Which is why he had even brought it up in the first place.
“Did you know Kalim doesn’t get packages from home?”
“Yeah, makes sense. Dude would have probably died by now, or the snake would have.”
Ruggie feels even stupider from the way Leona catches on to the fact immediately, while he only spurred the topic from happening.
“Accidentally got him talkin’ about it.”
“Huh? I knew I saw a blur of white running past the corridor, so you had him over eh?”
“Not the point!” Ruggie bristled under Leona’s smirk, “point is I think I upset him.”
“It’s Kalim, he’s probably over it.”
Ruggie huffs again, frustrated that he’s not able to explain himself. “I know he is. I ain’t over it though.”
“That’s a you problem. Wait, actually,” Leona sits up, eyes now gleaming with an interest that Ruggie dreaded to be the target of, “why aren’t you over it? That’s not like you.”
“Because it feels like I owe him? Yeah he asked to come with, but I just…fuck, who knows?”
Leona leaned back against the stem of the tree they had been resting under, the picture of amusement painting across his face.
“Yeah and you hate owing people.”
“I almost never do.”
“True, and technically you don’t owe Kalim anything either.”
Ruggie lies on the ground, staring up at the blue skies above. He has not seen Kalim in the last few days, not even a glimpse. Sure he doesn’t remember seeing Kalim around much before all this either but now that he’s aware and looking…Kalim was rarely anywhere.
“So why him?” Leona’s question snaps him out of his thoughts, the lion was grinning now, fangs showing. “Sure he’s rich but what else? His smile? Eyes? His…what else was there?”
Ruggie groaned, getting up from his spot.
“You’ve been hangin’ out with Idia too much,” is all he says as he stomps off, ignoring Leona’s laughter.
Ruggie is unable to sleep at night.
He rolls around side to side, flips his pillow over and back, half falls to the ground but his mind refuses to quiet down, roaring louder than a lion.
He had met Kalim that morning, after days of not being able to find him. Not that he’s been looking.
Kalim had smiled at him, brightening up when he called out and even going as far as to raise his hand for what became a very awkward fist bump. Ruggie had wanted to apologize, he wasn't even sure for what anymore, but at least getting the words out might make him feel better. It might help ease the strange weight on his chest. Before he could get the words out Kalim had reached out to him and the pair of hands were on his scarf again.
“You’re wearing the scarf!” the boy had exclaimed, burying his hands in them as he began to go on about how he missed the softness.
Ruggie couldn’t hear a single word, his stomach fluttering at the proximity. He could see the tiniest mole on the side of Kalim’s nose, a tiny faded scar right above his left eyebrow, and a deeply hidden but familiar loneliness. He wondered if he could be as daring and mimic Kalim’s actions, reach out and touch his cheeks and start pointing out everything he was seeing from where he stood.
Alas, shamelessness does not equate courage and he is left frozen even as Kalim takes a step back and speeds off to his next class.
He lies on the floor, lower body still on the bed. He didn’t feel bad anymore, not really, but the loneliness he kept seeing in Kalim inexplicably frustrated him. It was wrong. It was…Kalim didn’t deserve it.
He is snapped out of his pondering by a light buzzing noise and has to maneuver himself back onto the bed to grab his phone. Help really came in the strangest of ways because the contact is unexpected but exactly who he needed to hear from.
“Yo Grams! Don’t you know the time?”
“It’s 7AM here.”
“Okay? It’s like midnight here.”
“And you’re still awake.”
Ruggie chuckled, falling on his back with a soft thump.
“What do ya want? Need me to lecture a young’un for ya?”
He hears a soft chuckle back, a sound so similar to his own. “Don’t get smart with me pup, actin’ as if I can’t even call you anymore. Tell me, you been eating well?”
“Yep, even vegetables and all that.”
“Hmph, as long as you aren’t goin’ hungry. And how’s that housewarden princey of yours? You staying outta trouble?”
“Still housewarden princey as ever and…me? Trouble? What's that?”
He hears a small scoff, “I raised you, I know exactly what you call trouble.”
He can’t help the grin that comes across his face. Calls back home were even rarer than packages, no one ever made a show of missing people who leave and attachments aren’t ever voiced out. Ruggie doesn’t know what prompted his grandmother to call him, but now that he had her on the phone perhaps he should seek advice from the one person he has always sought advice from.
“...Actually I do have somethin’ troublin’ me.”
“Who’d ya steal from this time?”
“No! No it’s not about that this time! So there’s this…boy-”
There’s a thump that interrupts him.
“Hold on,” he hears his grandmother say and has to move the phone away from his ear at the deafening yell, “RUGGIE’S TRYNA TALK ABOUT A BOY.”
He listens in annoyance and regret to the thunderous herd of footsteps getting louder, and all at once, multiple voices he had no plans on greeting.
“Grams, you there?”
“Nah, she put us on speaker.” He hears a raspy voice of a boy and lets out a small “tch”
“And why are ya breathin’ into the speaker? Get the fuck away.”
Instead he hears everyone speaking over each other again.
“School’s been good eh?”
“Real good I bet! Hah!”
“What’s his name?”
“How tall?”
“Rich or rich rich?”
“Why is that the first thing-” Ruggie huffs, “can ya just give the phone back?”
Thankfully, he hears the conversation turn fainter as the phone is handed back to the only person he needed at the moment.
“Sounds like he’s tall.”
“How the hell-”
“It’s me again, Ruggie, so a boy ya say?”
“Right, so he…well, it’s complicated but…” He tells his tale from the beginning, purposefully straying away from Kalim’s name as he does so. His heart aches a little as he recalls the memory of Kalim going quiet with him but manages to get through the whole story. His grandmother doesn’t interrupt him even once, staying silent for a few seconds longer even after he was done.
“You there?”
“Sounds like the boy needs some people around him.”
Ruggie laughs at that, “oh you have no idea. He’s always surrounded by people, like-”
“Hush, I’m sayin’ this right. That boy might got plenty of people around him, but not enough caring.”
“Grams he has a literal caretaker.”
“A caretaker can’t care for ya the way a friend can. Duty ain’t friendship, you know that better than anyone.”
Ruggie stays quiet, unsure of a reply. His grandmother continues on unfazed.
“Kids who grow up with too much or too little both end up lonely. To me it just sounds like you recognized somethin’ familiar in him.”
“Ya think?”
“I do. Just be kind to him child. Be real, that’s carin’ enough.”
He recalls Kalim who always listened to him and anyone else. Who, even though often failed to internalize requests until it is repeated, always tried his best to follow them. Kalim who tried to encourage people to be their most satisfied, happiest selves. Slowly, his mind finally managed to build up an idea for the boy who was always giving and giving.
“I can do that,” he murmured, sitting up in his bed again, “say grams, can ya do me a lil favor?”
This time, Ruggie sets off to find Kalim and actually finds him.
The boy is sitting under the shade of one of the trees, hands behind his head as he just lazed around. Ruggie had to hold back his urge to join him as he walked over, reminding himself he had something far more important to do.
“Yo Kalim!”
Kalim opens his eyes and Ruggie is once again thrilled by the way the white-haired boy lights up at the sight of him. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.
“I uh, got a package again and…wanna come with?”
Kalim is on his feet at once, vibrating with excitement. “Yes!? That’s so nice of you to ask Ruggie! Of course I want to come with, lead the way!"
With a soft laugh, Ruggie does exactly that. He lets Kalim talk his ears off and tries to respond back with the same energy, but the plan he was about to pull off is fresh and ever-present in his mind. Floating around like a nervous haunting.
They make it to his room and Kalim hops in. He pauses when he sees two packages on the floor and gasps, turning to Ruggie who is closing the door.
“You got two packages this time!? That’s amazing! They love you so much!”
Ruggie laughs, “they do alright. But they only sent me one,” he stands by one box and points at the other, gulping before he speaks again, “this one’s yours.”
There’s a stretch of silence as Ruggie stares at Kalim whose eyes are trained on his finger pointing at the box. He looks up at Ruggie who is fraying alongside his nerves.
“For…me?” His voice is wobbly as he asks the question.
“Y-Yeah,” Ruggie has to force out the word which is blocking out everything else he had not planned to say out loud, “I was just…I thought you deserved a gift as much as- nah, more than anyone else and I just…I was tellin’ home bout ya and one thing escalated to another and it sorta happened. It’s a little cringe isn’t it? I wasn’t all that sure either but like-”
His words literally freeze as Kalim lunges forward and wraps his arms around Ruggie’s neck. It is a strong hold that has Ruggie’s mind reeling. He should have put more cologne on before he left to find Kalim. Did he smell!? Kalim smelled so good. He was so warm, and comfortable and Ruggie is sure he has never felt more comfortable in his life.
The hug is over all too soon and Kalim pulls back. Ruggie’s skin is left tingling but he doesn’t get to focus on it for too long when he sees tears glistening in Kalim’s eyes. He begins to freak out but is immediately doused with relief by Kalim’s joyful laughter.
“Oh- wow,” Kalim’s voice cracks and he wipes away the forming tears, “I don’t…that’s so sweet.”
Ruggie makes the boy sit down in front of his package, relief being replaced by giddy excitement. “Well don’t go crying yet, open the package!”
He watches Kalim rip into the package and opens his own. It is similar to the previous one, but instead of the scarf there are a few spices, a beaded bracelet, and irritatingly, a romance novel. He rolls his eyes and turns back to Kalim who is holding a scarf in his hands, eyes wide with disbelief. It is similar to Ruggie’s own, but a darker red in color.
Ruggie is impressed too, he hadn’t expected his grandmother to be able to knit one in such a short period of time but she has always been one hell of a woman. He lets Kalim process the scarf and trails his gaze over the rest of Kalim’s gifts.
Various little jars of handmade candies and dried fruits, a beaded bracelet that suspiciously matched Ruggie’s own, and an assortment of letters.
Ruggie’s eyes narrowed at the bundle of papers. What would they even have to say to Kalim? Nothing good he could bet. He was about to reach out for them when he heard Kalim call out his name in a wet voice.
Kalim was holding the scarf to his chest. He was flushed and giving Ruggie the prettiest, most genuine smile on the boy.
“Thank you.”
His mouth is so dry that Ruggie can only nod. But he doesn’t want the silence to stay bare so he places a hand on Kalim’s knee, pointedly not looking at the boy as he did so.
Kalim seemed to understand his point, humming with a smile as he went through the rest of the gifts he had received.
The silence only lasts a few minutes this time before Kalim claims that he’ll be sending them something back. Ruggie doesn’t argue, already having expected such a declaration. He moves on from it, enjoying the wondrous reactions of the boy who goes through every gift he has received. They taste the snacks, put on their bracelets (which are very much matching) and smell Ruggie’s spices. Kalim is still wearing his scarf and Ruggie doesn’t have the heart to call him out for it.
They go through the letters they have received, Ruggie tries to read Kalim’s ones alone at first but fails, silently panicking over every letter. Fortunately they don’t call him out or accuse him for anything, only innuendos being well aimed inside jokes that Kalim doesn’t catch on to. He reads out the name of the sender in each one and listens attentively as Ruggie launches into stories about each one. He doesn’t even have time to wonder if he’s talking too much because Kalim looks far too invested for him to stop. He talks more about his home than he has had in two years and receives nothing but honest praise for it.
They sit together until sunset, just talking and admiring. Kalim’s excitable energy had toned down to a jittery hum that Ruggie found weirdly comforting. His chest feels loose as he watches the boy tell his own, thankfully tamer story from back home.
Kalim’s hands moved around along with the story, making his gold bracelets clink softly. The setting sun painted his hair an orange, like it meant to reflect the boy’s warmth and joy to the world. It painted his eyes a fiery red and they shone, shone with joy. There is not a shred of despondency in them and Ruggie finally feels accomplished. He feels full.
He knows he will have to acknowledge this feeling sooner than later. He knows that every tidbit of today will replay in his mind every night. And he knows he was about to get mercilessly teased from many, many sides.
But right now, with Kalim’s cozy presence and beaming smile, he lets this moment turn into his new fondest memory.