Chapter Text
February 1985
The first time Steve volunteered himself to babysit Eleven, he could admit he had a bit of an ulterior motive. Having only met El before one time, he still wasn’t sure how to approach her. But after he had somehow become the default babysitter for a bunch of middle schoolers, it was hardly strange that he offered his services and Hop trusted him enough to take him up on the offer. Which is how Steve found himself pulling his car into the remote driveway of Hopper’s cabin on a Thursday night.
He took a deep breath, steadying himself as he looked at the lit up cabin in the shadow of early evening. This was Steve’s first opportunity to talk to someone other than the ghost of Dick Halloran that might be like him. Even if whatever the government had been cooking in that lab wasn’t the Shining itself, it was close enough for Steve’s taste.
Steve was very good at ignoring things. He was good at taking dangerous things and putting them into little boxes in his head. It was a skill that he learned to handle literal monsters but it helped him deal with emotions and unaddressed trauma too. If he didn’t want to think about it, it just went into a little box in his head.
When he first moved in with his Aunt and Uncle in Hawkins, Steve knew that there was something strange about this place. It wasn’t strange in the same way that the Overlook was strange, and there thankfully weren’t the same type of spirits, but it felt like there was a wrinkle somewhere in the Shining. The wrinkle would grow sometimes and shrink at others but it was always there. The first several months, it had kept Steve on a constant edge. Despite his worries, nothing had ever come of it and Steve had learned to shove his fears about the wrinkle into a little box too.
It wasn’t until 1983 that Steve realized that he probably should have investigated that wrinkle a little closer. When Steve first encountered the demogorgon at the Byer’s house, his first thought was that it was the Overlook all over again. It hadn’t taken long for him to learn that there was more than one type of monster in this world.
Steve had rehearsed telling Nancy a million different ways but he was still dragging his feet when they broke up. He had imagined just blurting out that he had abilities when they were planning how to close the gate too, but what use would it have been? For all he knew, he might have the ability to do what El was doing but he had never even tried it before. His powers were much more attuned to seeing ghosts than telekinesis.
Despite wanting to stay quiet, Steve couldn’t help but think about Dick Halloran and how seen he had made him feel. Even after he died, Dick had told him about the Shining and that it might one day be his responsibility to tell another. Steve supposed he hadn’t thought that would happen for a good long while. He couldn’t just not tell her though, not when it was her right to know just as much as it was his.
With this conviction, Steve walked up to the Cabin and knocked on the front door. After a few polite words with Hopper and a few less polite threats for if anything happened to El, Hop was out the door for the night shift and just Steve and El remained in the cabin.
“Hi, El.” Steve said after an awkward moment.
“Hi.” The young girl blinked up at him with her big eyes, her slightly oversized shirt making her look even younger than she was.
“Or, what I meant to say is..” Steve trailed off, concentrating on projecting the word to El’s mind. ‘Hi.’
El stumbled back in surprise, “How?”
‘You can talk to me like this.’ Steve protected, “Or we can talk out loud if you would rather.”
“You are from the lab?” El was still guarded, looking half poised to attack.
“No, nothing like that. It’s something that I’ve always been able to do.” Steve sat down at Hopper’s kitchen table as he talked, hoping to put El more at ease but lowering himself down to her level.
“But the lab made my powers.” El’s brow furrowed as she tried to understand.
“Maybe. I don’t really know anything about secret government labs. But I’ve only met one other person who could do what I do and he was born with it like me. He called it the Shining and he said that everyone had a little bit of it but some people have more than others.” Steve remembered how reassuring it had been to hear those words from Dick and he couldn’t help but worry that he was messing it up entirely now that it was his turn to pass on the knowledge.
“I don’t know if the lab found kids that could already Shine or if they taught you how to access it, but I do know that you are as bright as a beacon and you can do things with it that I’ve never even thought to do. But I wanted to make sure that you knew that you weren’t alone. And that you can come to me if you ever need anything.”
El nodded seriously, slipping into the seat at the table across from Steve. “Hopper knows you Shine?”
“Oh no.” Steve couldn’t help but let out a slightly nervous laugh at the idea of Hopper knowing, “You’re the first one that I’ve told.”
“Friends don’t lie.”
“I guess not.” Steve remembered the other kids saying something similar, “But that doesn’t mean I have to tell everyone everything. Especially if it's something that could be dangerous.”
“How is it dangerous?” El asked, her little voice still painfully serious.
Steve fidgeted in his seat, he didn’t want to unburden everything onto the little girl, and he especially didn’t want to give her the full sordid story of the Overlook, “If the lab were to find out that there were other people that can do things, that could be dangerous. Not just for me but for other people like me.”
“I have a sister.” El said suddenly, a look of concentration on her face. After a moment, the projection of an image appeared in Steve’s mind. He saw a young brown woman with puffed up black hair and grungy looking clothes. “Did you see?”
“I saw.” Steve was impressed by how quickly El was picking this up. He supposed it was something that she had experience with in her own sort of way. “Is your sister from the lab?”
El nodded, “She escaped. It’s a secret.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” Steve said, touched that El would so readily share this with him.
“My sister can make people see things that aren’t there. I can move things and find people. What can you do?”
“I can talk to other people with the Shine in their minds, like we were doing. You can do that too, everyone with the Shine can I think. But I also know things sometimes, things that I have no way of knowing.” Steve paused, “I can also see spirits of people who died. Not everyone but often people who died in some way that made them mad. Most of them aren’t at peace so it’s not really a good thing.”
“I don’t understand.” El admitted, “Hopper said that when people die they are gone forever.”
Oh, Steve thought, how could he possibly explain ghosts without confusing her on what death is entirely.
“They are gone for most people. The part of us that is us, that goes on to somewhere else when we die. When some people die in a bad way, it's like not all of them can go on. Part of them is stuck here and I can see what’s left of them. But it’s not a happy part. A lot of them are angry and it’s not a good thing.”
“And you see ghosts all the time?”
“Sometimes, but not all the time. I’ve learned to push them away mostly.” Steve said. He hadn’t really intended to tell her all this, but what was he supposed to say? That he had powers but she didn’t get to know what they were. He wished he’d thought this out more.
“Okay.” El finally said. Steve couldn’t read what she was thinking on her face and he refused to violate her mind by going looking in there, “We can Shine together.”
After that first night, Steve ended up being a semi-regular fixture in the Hopper household. When it was just the two of them, El insisted that he try to learn to use his Shine like she did. Steve had been reluctant but she had been so excited to share it with someone else that it hadn’t taken much pressure for him to cave.
It only took a few sessions before he was nudging things with his mind on purpose. Unlike El, he wasn’t afflicted by nosebleeds unless he had really overextended himself. Steve thought that it must be a side effect of whatever methods the lab had used.
In exchange, Steve got El more comfortable with talking using their minds. If anyone was to ever look in, Steve was sure that it would be a strange sight. Just a teen and a girl staring at each other in a room without a word being said between them.
Regularly being over at Hopper’s cabin had the added effect of actually seeing the Police Chief more often as well. It took time but the man warmed up to him eventually. Steve liked to think that he was changed from the asshole he had become in high school but it still took time for people to let go of that image of him in their head. Hopper had certainly broken up enough Harrington parties that it took a while for the new Steve to sink in. It helped that Steve was his new ally in Mike Wheeler’s constant crusade to be hanging out in El’s room every spare waking moment.
“So what is your deal with helping out with the kids anyway.” Hopper said one evening, sitting out on the porch under the full moon.
“I just ended up helping Dustin and then all the kids and kept asking for more help, so…” Steve trailed off, waving his hand at nothing in particular. “And then I guess I got attached.”
“Sure. But you went out of your way to volunteer to look after El and you met, like what, one time?”
“Just the one time, yeah.” Steve took a deep breath, “The kids care about El and I want them all to be safe. Plus, I don’t know if El’s told you about this but I talked to her a few times about it. It’s not really at all the same and I’m not sure if you actually know this, but when I was a little younger than her I was adopted by my Aunt and Uncle, the Harringtons y’know. And they don’t really like to talk about it and I don’t really like to talk about it so we just let people assume. But it’s hard and I wanted to let her know that if she wanted to talk about that, you know, I can be here for that.” Steve wished he had a drink so he could shut himself up by taking a sip.
“Adopted, huh?” Hopper said after a beat, “I didn’t know that.”
Steve shrugged, “It happened right before they moved back to Hawkins. I think they wanted everyone to think they had a son.”
“Your folks dead or is there anyone’s ass I need to kick?” Hopper said as casually as anything.
“What? What do you even… what?” Steve whipped around the face Hopper, his jaw slack with shock, “Who says something like that, man?”
“I’m just trying to look out. If your parents aren’t dead then they probably had to do something pretty shitty to lose custody. So, I ask again, is there anyone’s ass that I need to kick?”
That’s not - no. No one’s ass needs to be kicked.” Steve really didn’t want to get into more of the details. He had managed to avoid the whole almost being murdered with an ax thing in his conversations with El and he would prefer to keep that private.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It’s hard to lose your parents that young.” Hopper answered.
“Oh my god.” Steve buried his face in his hands in frustration, “My dad is dead and my mom is alive but she didn’t deal with everything perfectly afterwards. She probably shouldn’t have even lost custody but my Aunt and Uncle decided they wanted it and they went to the same country club as the judge, so that’s that.”
“Fucking Harringtons.” Hopper scoffed. “I’m going to be working the late shift on Tuesday, you good to come over then.”
“I … yeah, I can do Thursday.” Steve felt taken aback by the sudden shift in topic.
Hopper casually clasped his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “See you then, kid.”
“See you too.” Steve responded, half under his own breath as he watched Hopper stroll back into the cabin. Steve couldn’t help but feel stupid as he stood alone in the cool evening air. He had never told anyone about his custody situation before. He was always too afraid that it would lead to more questions, which would ultimately lead back to the Overlook and the Shine. Nevermind how desperate he had been to just be normal. But Hopper had pulled answers out of him like it was the easiest thing in the world.
With nothing left to do, Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to his car.
April 1985
“Dude.” Dustin said, walking in Steve’s front door like he owned the place, “Why did I just find out that your birthday was yesterday.”
“Uh, hello to you too.” Steve responded, following Dustin into the living room, “I guess you never asked.”
“Friends tell their friends when their birthday is coming up, Steve. It’s common courtesy to drop a few hints.” Dustin explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Instead, I had to find out from overhearing Nancy debating if she should get you a gift or not.”
“Nance was thinking about getting me a gift?” Steve asked. Even if she didn’t get him anything, Steve was still touched that she thought about it. Their relationship had been kinda awkward since the breakup, but he didn’t want it to be.
“Focus on the important part, Steve. As in, the part where you refuse to inform us of your eighteenth birthday.”
“Hey, I didn’t refuse to tell anyone anything. I just didn’t feel like making a big deal out of it this year.”
“What do you mean! It’s your eighteenth birthday, that’s a huge deal! We could have had a party with cake and presents. What did you do instead, sit alone in your room?” Dustin crossed his arms in a huff.
“Rude. I have other friends, you know.” Steve pointedly did not mention that he hadn’t been with any of them yesterday.
Dustin leveled an unimpressed look in Steve’s direction, “I cannot believe you. This is a betrayal on the deepest level.”
Steve sighed, “What do you want to do about it? We could go get a cake at the supermarket or something.”
Steve hadn’t felt like celebrating this year for a few reasons. Despite what Dustin seemed to think, it would have been strange for him to host a birthday party and only invite a bunch of middle schoolers. Him and Nancy weren’t quite on invite-to-your-birthday-party terms again, and everyone else at the high school was more of a friendly acquaintance than a real friend. Those people would have come if he had thrown a typical Harrington rager, but he wasn’t really feeling that vibe.
The second was his increasing stack of denial letters from the few colleges that he had managed to apply to. Out of the five schools that he had applied to, he had gotten back three denial letters. Steve wasn’t exactly hopeful about the remaining colleges either. It all just felt like he was staring down a life that would amount to nothing because he was too stupid to pull it together.
“It’s not about what I want to do.” Dustin said, “It’s about everyone letting you know how much we appreciate you and getting together to do something nice.”
Steve was saved from having to try to express whatever that made him feel by the sound of the doorbell ringing.
“Did you tell the rest of the kids about this?” Steve immediately asked Dustin.
“No, not yet.” Dustin said, glancing at the door, “But I wouldn’t be surprised if they found out and were also upset!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Steve mumbled under his breath as he approached the door.
Instead of one of the kids, standing on the other side of the opening was a middle aged man that Steve had never seen before, dressed in a black suit and holding a bunch of folders under his arm.
“Hello.” The man greeted, “Are you Steven Daniel Harrington?”
“I am. And who are you?” Steve responded cautiously.
“My name is Paul Kelley. I am a lawyer representing Wendy Torrance. Is now a good time?” The man said with a calm smile on his face.
“I, uh, I’m sorry. You said you are representing Wendy Torrance?” Steven hadn’t heard from his mom since he was eight years old. He couldn’t imagine why she was reaching out now.
“Yes, would it be alright if I came in to discuss?” Paul answered smoothly.
“Who is Wendy Torrance?” Dustin asked from behind Steve.
“Dustin, can you actually come back later?” Steve turned as he said it, leaving the lawyer awkwardly standing in the doorway.
“Dude, seriously?” Dustin couldn’t have sounded less impressed if he tried.
“Yes dude, seriously. We can talk later.”
A moment passed before Dustin sighed, “Fine. But don’t think we won’t be talking about this.”
Dustin walked briskly out the front door, causing the lawyer to have to step aside to let the middle schooler through. He headed straight for his bike that was half hazardously abandoned on the front lawn, giving a sarcastic wave as he headed off in the direction of his house.
“Sorry about that, please come in.” Steve stepped aside to let Paul in the door after watching Dustin leave.
“Thank you. I apologize if I caught you at a bad time.” Paul said.
“No, it’s fine.” The man followed Steve as he led him to the kitchen table, “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m quite alright, thank you.” Paul said, placing his folders on the table in front of him as he took a seat.
“So …” Steve trailed off nervously, “You said you were hired by … my mom?”
“Yes, that is correct. Wendy has retained my services to reach out regarding the standing Restraining Order that was placed on your behalf upon your adoption by the Harringtons. As you are now eighteen, you have the right to lift the restraining order. Wendy placed a request that the order be lifted and has hired me to act on her behalf to ask that you grant her request.”
“I, um.” Steve licked his lips nervously as he tried to process what was being said, “What restraining order?”
“I see.” Paul responded, his tone darkening. He quickly flipped through one of his many folders until he found whatever he was looking for. Paul slid the paper over to Steve.
“When Richard and Mary Harrington were granted custody in 1974, they also applied for a Restraining Order on your behalf. As you can see, the order was approved. It was renewed again in 1979 by the same judge.”
Steve scanned the paper frantically, all the details appeared to line up with what the lawyer was saying. Steve could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he double checked and checked again.
“She tried to appeal it three times?” Steve asked shakily. He had asked the Harringtons to reach out to Wendy so many times when they had first adopted him. They had come up with a million different reasons why he couldn’t and they had all seemed so reasonable. He had pleaded and begged to just talk to her on the phone but they said that it was better for everyone to have a fresh start. That it was better for his mom too and that he would be hurting her if he contacted her. Steve didn’t know when he had started to believe them. This whole time his mom had never moved on. She had been fighting to see him and he had just given up.
“That was the maximum number of appeals allowed by the court.” Paul stated, “She would have appealed it a million times if she was allowed.”
“Oh.” Steve said, the word more breath than sound.
“The Restraining Order will expire after the current five year term ends in November of this year. However, since you are now eighteen, you can also decide to end the term early.” Paul continued, acting like he wasn’t rocking Steve’s entire world.
“Will the Harringtons be informed if I end the restraining order?” Steve asked, the thought suddenly occurring to him. They were barely home these days anyway but surely they would be angry after they went through all this trouble. Steve still needed a roof over his head before he graduated high school at least.
“No. As you are now an adult, they would not be informed.” Paul said.
“And what if I lift it? Then what?”
“Then Wendy Torrance would be free to contact you at any time. If you would rather, I can facilitate a meeting or a phone call to begin with.”
“Can I have a few days to think this over?” Steve asked. It was too much, too fast.
“Of course, here is my card.” Paul handed him a professional looking business card, “If I may say so, I have been working with Wendy on this for a long time, and I rarely see someone as determined as her.”
“Thanks.” Steve said, shaking the lawyer's hand., “I’ll be in touch.”
“I look forward to it.” Paul said.
Steve watched Paul return to his car and pull out of the Harrington driveway from the window, and kept staring long after he had gone.
He knew that his Aunt and Uncle had never liked his mom. Steve had given up trying to talk to them about what had happened that night with his dad. Mary Harrington was convinced that her brother would never do such a thing. It didn’t matter what the police report said, she had always corrected him when he was young and said that her brother had died by accident and would never hurt anyone.
Steve wasn’t sure how much she really believed this. If she knew it was a lie or if she managed to convince herself that it was true. Steve had given up arguing the point a long time ago.
The same way that he had given up after they started calling him by his first name. He had been named after his paternal grandfather but his mom had wanted him to have his own name, or so she said when he was young. So she had used his middle name and he had been Daniel, quickly shortened to Danny, instead of Steven.
Sometimes Steve felt like every trace of the boy he was before the Overlook had been erased.