Archive of Our Own

When the general and his advisor argue about war tactics, Eito always wins. He takes pride in that fact because Takumi listens to him. He is his advisor after all. And most importantly, he was always right.

It’s clockwork: Takumi proposes a crazy plan that involves him on the front lines at his most vulnerable, when Eito has to talk him down with reasons why it is a terrible idea. Then Takumi wallows by doing that stupid pout that emphasizes his ugly mug even more. Eventually, he concedes to the argument and lets Eito handle it. He just doesn’t know why Takumi’s been a lot more insufferable about it lately. 

And on the scale of ridiculousness, this certainly takes the cake. 

“Are you not forgetting the state we are in? The humans have surrounded us, our men are tired, and we barely have rations to last us for three months. This could very well boost morale and turn the tide!”

Eito leans back against his work desk, rubbing his forehead as he takes off his glasses. He’s so used to Takumi’s lack of thought in anything, but it doesn’t make it any less exhausting to hear. It takes a bit for him to think of a response without popping a vein. Thankfully, five years dealing with such ugly, brainless ogres did well enough to increase his patience, even just a little bit. 

“And how long do you think morale will last once they find out their general is dead?” Eito manages to respond coolly while cleaning the lens with a cloth he took out from his pocket and placing it back on the rim of his nose. “You think the war will automatically end after you consume this…Retsnom? Is that what you call it? Or, as usual, you haven’t thought that far ahead?”

Something was different about Takumi today. The look in his eyes was something Eito knew all too well. The blaze and passion were clear as day, which he recognized all too well back in their youth. It was the same look when he made the call to abandon humanity that day, which started this whole conflict they found themselves in. It was the same look when he decided to spare his life again after betraying the SDU twice. 

It was resolve, conviction, and confidence. And while those were qualities that Eito clung to these past five years that made him fall so hard for Takumi that he vowed to follow him until the end of time, it doesn’t change the fact that these plans Takumi has conjured up were a bad call. Eito just needed to convince him of that. 

…If only Takumi didn’t find new ways to make his job so goddamn difficult. It was like taking care of a puppy who just kept going outside to play in the mud and was in constant risk of getting run over by a car.

“All I am saying is it’s a chance. Don’t you understand how much of a game-changer it would be if we brought Eva back to life? We’d be having a commander at our side!” 

“This is bordering on necromancy, Takumi. No, sorry. It IS necromancy. Even if there’s a chance this is true, what are the chances this could go horribly wrong?-“

“-Or right!”

“Are you prepared for what your body is going to go through? And what happens if it doesn’t work? You still die, and all of this will be gone in an instant because we chased a myth.” 

“There’s a chance I won’t. I can match the commander’s blood.” 

“Okay, then get the others to do it. We only need someone who possesses cryptoglobin, right? And we know the main squad would be more than happy to give their lives for the cause.” 

“How the hell can you say that? I’m not sacrificing one of our own. Not…Not again.” 

“You can’t possibly be this obtuse. You are the face of the Rebellion—the next in command next to Kamyuhn. If you die, then the Rebellion dies. They would understand better than anyone if you want to go through with this.” 

Eito was hoping at this point that the fire in Takumi’s eyes would fade out by now, but that didn’t happen. If anything, it only grew to an inferno, where Takumi was standing more assured than ever before. 

“That soldier said it had to be me. Unlike the others, I still have a chance to live if my cryptoglobin was strong enough.” Oh, of course, the soldier. How reliable, Eito mutters in between rolling his eyes. “I have Shion’s, and I have yours from my original timeline. I am the one who has the highest chance of survival.”  

It was frustrating, but also…perplexing to see Takumi like this. He always trusted Eito's counsel. Did he do something wrong? Did he make a bad call in the past that Takumi didn’t believe in his input anymore? Was he the unreasonable one for not wanting Takumi to sacrifice himself for a possibility?

Even so, Eito’s gaze softens. After getting used to the sight of the general slumped to his desk with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, where he’s always there to pick up after his mess, a wave of nostalgia hit him. He remembered how full of life Takumi once was. He would do it all over again, picking up after his mess and carrying him to his room after a painful hangover. But a part of him missed seeing him like this. 

But he can’t concede to reminiscence. As his trustworthy advisor, it was his job to protect their General, do the dirty work, and consult with reason.

“But you’re still no commander. Have you forgotten that your body is artificial? Who knows what kind of effect this could have on you?” Eito’s voice couldn’t help but rise from frustration over how Takumi was not backing down. 

“It’s better to explore this than not do anything at all! We’re out of options, Aotsuki. We need this.” 

Do we… really need this? 

…No. Not ‘We.’ 

It struck Eito all at once. He hits himself over and over in his head, thinking that Takumi finally found resolution for a real cause, even if it was false, because at least it meant he was open to making an effort to talk to him. 

But it only leads to a letdown. The arguments they have been having lately flashed by in an instant, and he finally noticed a glaring pattern. Eito’s gaze, which was once softened because he saw a glimpse of the gross, bright-eyed creature he fell in love with, was replaced with a mix of rage, confusion, and overall immense disappointment at the product of his resolve. 

“…No, Takumi. It seems more to me that you need this.” 

Takumi stops pacing the room and quickly turns back to look at Eito. 

“…What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“After all this time, I really thought you would give me more credit. You don’t think I understand what’s happening here?” 

Takumi doesn’t back down as he feigns ignorance, almost offended by the way Eito is assuming he’s hiding anything at all. But Eito isn’t an easy person to fool. He stands up face to face with Takumi, leaning down a bit to challenge him until their faces are inches apart. Takumi’s shaky breath brushed through Eito’s skin, but Eito was willing to hold his nausea a little longer to prove his point. 

“You’re trying to find an easy way out,” Eito says in a harsh whisper that could only be heard between the two. “You’re tired of death surrounding you. But you can’t, because you’re in a position where you’re trapped. But when that soldier told you about this fairy tale, you volunteered to offer yourself. And when by some miracle this works, you planned to frame it as this heroic deed, right? You saw an opportunity to die where the guilt wouldn’t hurt as much, and this was your golden ticket!” 

Takumi hasn’t looked up to meet Eito eye to eye, and Eito’s almost relieved. He can only imagine how hideous he must have looked when he’s wracked with immense guilt. 

“And that’s what you’ve been trying to do, ever since you started spewing out any form of a stupid plan about putting you in the front lines.”

Takumi’s breath hitches in the way Eito’s lips brushed through his ear, and he was still not looking back at Eito. More than that, every word Eito spat out was a dagger aimed straight at his heart.  

“…I hate that.” 

Eito steps back, looking down at Takumi with an unbothered yet inquisitive look when he speaks up.

“I hate it when you act as if you know me.” 

Eito tilts his head innocently. “Don’t I? So the sea of empty alcohol bottles and your room reeking of smoke is merely decoration?” 

“You don’t-You don’t understand. You can never understand, because unlike us, you get off on carnage. Seeing too much of this may be normal to you, but not to us! So sue me for finding ways to make it hurt less!” 

It stung Eito because he knew Takumi was taking a jab at his defect. He tries not to let it show, despite the twitch in his eye, and decides to let him rant. If it got Takumi to let it all out instead of considering a literal suicide mission, then so be it. He’ll take the brunt if needed. As long as Takumi understands, he couldn't care less about feelings right now.

Takumi runs his hands through his hair and lets out a big exhale. “…Maybe you’re right. Maybe I have been acting like this because I want it to end. But how does that matter now? When has it ever mattered how we felt about anything? It’s not like we got a chance to live as we dreamed of. Five years have passed, and we’re still fighting this war. Doomed to fight, no matter which side we choose. And now I have to deal with you, too? I am fucking tired of it, Aotsuki.  

“Like I said—“

“—I know. As the lead general, I have a responsibility. Acting like I asked for it in the first place. But of course, how could I expect you to get where I’m coming from? It doesn’t matter to you how people feel. As if you’re capable of giving a shit about anyone!” 

…

Beats of silence passed through both. They stood there, the awkwardness getting more palpable by the minute. Takumi breaks the painful stillness by sighing heavily. He pinches his eyebrows together. He stopped keeping count of how long they argued whenever they did. 

“…That’s not the point here. I don’t think the rebellion would die with me. You may think I’m enough to rally the troops, but I’m not. If things go wrong, Shizuhara is more than capable of carrying after me. I don’t even know why I was chosen. You said it yourself. I’m just a…face.” 

Eito stays silent, but his grip on the wooden table grows deathly; one could hear it creak through the quiet. He didn’t like where this conversation was going, even if he was the one who finally addressed it. Maybe he wasn’t ready, after all. He wasn’t ready to face why he kept shutting these suggestions from Takumi down. 

“But if we explore Retsnom, it can all matter. Their deaths won’t be in vain anymore. And if this meant I’ll sacrifice myself, then I gladly will-“ 

Takumi gets the wind knocked out of him when Eito slams him against the wall. He yelps out in pain at how much impact his back made against the hard concrete. Eito forcefully makes Takumi face him, his eyes now fully flaring with rage. 

“So. That’s it, then? Are you choosing cowardice? You’re just planning to leave everyone to fend for themselves?”

“Aotsuki-!”

“You can prattle all you like, but all I heard was that you decided to give up. But you don’t get to make that choice, Takumi! You ugly, vile, utterly selfish—!”

Eito couldn’t control the way he raised his voice the more he spoke, despite how much he tried to control himself, but the rage within him seeped through. He hit Takumi’s head against the wall as he emphasized every word, his arms pressing down on the general’s neck, and gradually started to push until his windpipe was blocked. 

“Let go-,” Takumi tries to protest, but Eito’s arm against his throat grew tighter the more upset he got. Takumi’s voice dissipates to coughs, barely getting a word out before he is left with little to no air. Everything was getting blurry. His vision was barely hanging on. 

“You’re fine with leaving our troops? Kamyuhn? Our friends?! What about everything we’ve talked about, Takumi? What about the future? Our future?”

“Aotsuki, let go…!”

“You’re fine with leaving me?!” 

That got Takumi to shut up. Even if Eito’s hands on his throat left a noticeable bruise, the grip started to loosen as soon as Takumi used the last remaining of his strength to reach out for his hand. Still, Eito insisted on staying in place. After a few moments, Eito started to calm down, and his arm lowered until his free hand lingered on Takumi’s chest and started to hold tight, like he was trying to make sure a heartbeat was still felt. What a reassurance if so, for Takumi’s heart rate was beating as fast as a hummingbird’s. 

That’s when it hits Takumi. It was never about rationalizing the war, it was never about the Rebellion, it was never even about Futurum. Takumi’s existence…it goes above and beyond any of that to Eito.

Maybe for the first time in a long time, they were finally in a place where they understood each other. 

“I don’t care how much guilt you may carry. I am not losing you to a lost cause! I won’t let the only good thing in my life leave me behind in a deprived world full of filthy humans. You either get killed with me or by me. Not by a good-for-nothing soldier, nor a human faction leader, and certainly not a fabrication. The last thing you are seeing is me!”

Despite the threatening words that were spat at him, Eito did the last thing Takumi expected him to do. He leaned down to the Takumi’s height and smashed their lips together, all teeth and no tongue. When Takumi attempts to pull away to catch some air, Eito only pulls him back. He presses their bodies together as he pins his general against the wall. 

It takes a second for Takumi to reciprocate and melt into this sorry excuse they call a kiss. Eito takes his time exploring every crevice inside Takumi’s mouth like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to. He treats the inside like an oasis, albeit an oasis that was polluted with floating corpses that were left out in the sun. He catches himself gagging into Takumi’s mouth with this thought, and he can feel the man below him hitting him in the bicep like he’s begging Eito to hold it in, please hold it in!. Eito doesn’t listen. Takumi could feel the slow, bitter sensation of bile mixed in their tongues. 

When Eito finally pulls back, Takumi barely gets a moment to catch his breath when he gets harshly pushed to the floor as Eito runs straight to the bathroom. Takumi hears distant sounds of hurling and gagging echoing through the walls. The general takes this moment to wipe his mouth, and drinks lots of water before he thinks too much about the fact Ethat ito was almost about to feed him vomit by his throat. Takumi then hears sounds of running water from the sink and what seems to be the sound of very aggressive handwashing and brushing teeth. Takumi didn’t see why he could take a small nap, knowing Eito would take a while. Just for a bit, he fluttered his eyes closed.

When Takumi woke up, he was met with an unexpected weight on top of his chest. He rubs his eyes to clear his vision and sees a flash of grey on top of him, the scent of soap and strong detergent overwhelming his senses. He looks down to see Eito on top of him, lying his head on his chest, all curled up next to his body like a big dog. Takumi was reminded of a big husky lying on his lap. This was the same feeling of not wanting to wake a scary animal because one wrong move and they could bite one’s head off. Even then, Eito looked so peaceful sleeping on Takumi’s chest like he always belonged there. His body was screaming at him not move a damn muscle at this rare occurrence. 

“Aotsuki…?” Takumi nudges Eito gently.

“Promise me.” 

Takumi was surprised that Eito actually responded. He thought he was fast asleep with how slow his breathing was. “…What?” 

Eito lifts himself up off of Takumi’s body, caging him on top of the bed with both arms and looking down at him. His longer curls frame Takumi’s face, and Eito’s strands start to tickle parts of his cheek. Hair that was once tied up was now messily spread over his general. They were tendrils that were keeping the man below him bound, claiming territory.

“We’ll think of something else. Just… swear to me you won’t look into Retsnom. Please.” 

The general startles hearing Eito speaking up again with such a contrasting tone from his dominant, angry one just hours ago. It was shy. It was uncharacteristic. Most of all, it was fucking jarring. 

Neither can deny that they fight quite a bit. But they also confided in each other more than anyone, understood each other more than anyone, despite what they say against each other with the intent to hurt. They finally reached an understanding when they both agreed to fight against humanity; then it all went wrong when it was too much for both. They lost sight of what really mattered. 

Takumi knew Eito hated the amount of bloodshed as much as he did. Eito knew that Takumi was trying to find real solutions. They knew each other’s worst sides, with their recent arguments being very adamant proof of that fact. 

Takumi was already mourning the loss of an amazing lead. Retsnom could genuinely save the Rebellion. But right now, he recognizes that Eito needed him. 

With that in mind, it couldn’t hurt to give life a try one more time. 

“O-Okay…Okay. I hear you, Aotsuki. We’ll think of something else.” 

“Promise?"

“…I promise.” 

“…Thank you.”

They lay down together for a couple of minutes, with Takumi starting to feel a bit stiff and not knowing what to do with his hands. He couldn’t resist indulging himself by raising a hand to card his fingers through Eito’s hair. Takumi raises his other hand to rest gently on Eito’s back, soothingly rubbing circles. He doesn’t know if it’s helping or providing assurance as he hoped, but Eito hasn’t flinched or moved. He was taking it as a good sign. 

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Takumi says softly. “About you, um, not being capable of giving a shit.” 

His chest vibrates from Eito’s weak chuckle. “You’re not wrong, though.” 

“Still…It was mean to say.”

Silence greets them once again. This time, it was comforting. Welcome. Serene. 

“…We need to work on your kissing, though.” 

Eito makes a noise. “I won’t subject myself to that again. I don’t know why you humans do that in the first place. It’s disgusting.” 

“You’re the one who kissed me!” Takumi squeaks. 

“…Did you know that animals use urine to mark their mates? For tigers, when a female is ready to mate, her urine becomes a lot more apparent since it holds a lot of pheromones. The male then ‘tastes’ the air in response, to see if a female is ready to mate.” 

“…So are you saying you kissing me was the equivalent of you peeing in my mouth?”

“I’m saying I’m yours, Takumi.” 

“..Oh.” 

“To tell you the truth, I couldn't care less about what happens in the future. Not even Futurum, and especially not humanity.” 

“Yeah?”

“Just cease your suggestions of needlessly killing yourself. Let me take care of things. Do what you do best.”

“Which is?”

“Sit pretty in your big chair and command the troops from afar.”

“You think I’m pretty? That’s new.” 

“You’re insufferable.” 

Takumi laughs. With the intimate moment shared, he felt bold enough to plant his lips on top of Eito’s head. “I… don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you, Aotsuki.” 

“…Mm.”

Eito trails off, but he doesn't need to respond. Takumi knows well enough by now and assures him with no words needed, by giving his hand a reassuring squeeze instead. 

They would figure it out. It always turned out like this, anyway. Nothing had to change. Neither of them would let it happen.