Chapter Text
Silence. No movement, no voices. Nothing but silence. And that was more deafening than any sound Pomni had ever heard. Yet the room was loud with everyone's emotions; Anger, Panic, Numb. But an overwhelming amount of despair. Hope has been shattered, the shards cutting into everyone like a knife. It was eerie, it was long, it was painful. Bright light was the only source of stimulation in the room, burning into their retinas.
The red button was pressed. But it didn't matter. Maybe that was for the better. What would have happened if they chose the blue button, the supposed "bad" ending? What would they have faced? Was it actually an adventure? Or was Caine trying to cover his tracks? Pomni didn't know what to think. Maybe the signs were there from the beginning - maybe she purposely missed them, to feed into the hope of finally leaving. That escaping wasn't through an exit door, but a choice. She should've realised. Before wasting so much of their time.
It was to easy. There was no way Caine would have let the exit be that accessible, let anyone spill that much information and yet she fell for it. She let herself be fooled, fooled into the escape she's been longing for since she arrived, probably since everyone has arrived. But it didn't matter in the end. It was all fake. A wonderful adventure to get themselves in a hopeful spirit only for Caine to turn around and stab it with a knife. None of it was real. And that realisation was suffocating everyone in the room.
The silence stretched for a long while. Until gangle spoke. "What just.. happened?" horror was written all over her face, the bright white reflecting off her porcelain face. "I really thought-"
"What the f(HONK) Jax!?" Pomni turned, everyone's attention suddenly on Jax and Zooble, their face full of fury like nothing she'd seen before. Zooble's been angry, but not trembling, radiating like this.
Jax was still, eerily so, as if he hadn't even heard a thing. As if he was in a different place. "What the F(HONK) where you thinking!" They yelled out, storming towards him. No one stopped them. "Where you even thinking at all? You JACKA(BOING)?!"
Jax's hands grappled onto the desk, not moved from earlier. He acted like it was a life line, tremors making their way up his arms. Pomni thinks she's the only one that noticed. Zooble flung Jax round to face them, despair and anger and a whole range of emotions bubbling up to the surface finally boiling over has they began to yell. " Are you SERIOUSLY that much of an A(BOING)?! That you'd seriously do this to us? For a joke? For your own selfish reasons?!"
Jax, with a hollowed expression, simply stated; "It wasn't real." Was he telling himself that too? It was unsettling, seeing him like this. Devoid of any sort of energy. Smile completely gone. Glossy eyes shinier than glass. The complete opposite of the air of confidence he presented himself as.
"What? That's your F(HONK)ing excuse?!" Silence. No answer. And that made Zooble shake harder. "There's NO WAY you thought it wasn't real. Stop bulls(ZIP)ing for once in your life and be honest. Why. did. you. press it."
A pause, and for a moment Pomni thought the long stretching silence was back.
But just like that, Jax's walls and iconic smile were slammed back up, but it was strained, mania in his eyes. "I pressed it because I knew you losers would fall for it! I was right from the very beginning!! And yet you all took the word of a stupid NPC that you'd known for two minutes over me-"
"Because you're notorious for f(HONK)ing with us! For tormenting us! Why would we trust YOUR judgement-!"
"BECAUSE i was RIGHT!!" Jax's pupils were pinpricks, smile straining even more than before. "I was RIGHT! I saved you ALL from false hope! I saved you from whatever Punishment Caine had cooked up for us! I stopped your little weak hearts being broken when you realised you have about as much brain as the other NPCs here!" Laughter escaped his mouth between each sentence. Lifeless, dull. It was clear he didn't find this situation funny in the slightest.
A volcano was about to irrupt. The tension was thick, choking. Pomni felt her breath stuttering. Yet, all she could do was watch. This wasn't what she wanted right now. Not another argument, not more baggage to carry with her on the walk back to her room. The will to say something, anything, to de-escalate the situation was strong. But she doesn't trust her voice, not right now.
While Pomni Struggled with her inner turmoil, Ragatha spoke up.
"Thats not true. I saw your face." Ragatha approached the two. "You believed it just as much as we did. You were freaked out." She was calm, clearly defeated. But anger was there, bubbling under the surface.
"Yeah! freaked out by the amount of faith you put into an NPC-"
"You know thats not what I'm talking about." Ragatha began to seethe. Her voice quiet but cutting like a double edged sword.
Pomni looked at the trio. Something was off with Jax this entire adventure, if that's what she wants to call it, he believed it just as much as the others. That red button was pushed for other reasons. He helped them, if he truly thought it was all bulls(ZIP) then he wouldn't have even bothered. He's a liar, news to no one. But that's not a conversation she anyone should have right now. No one is in the right mindset. And she doesn't think she could handle anymore revelations today, personal or not. It's been a long day and it'll only keep getting longer, straining everything thats barely holding everyone together even further. Taking a deep, calming breath, she finally spoke. "Guys... we should talk about all of this la-"
"NO pomni. I'm done listening to you!" Ragatha turned towards her, anger now directed towards Pomni. "YOU are also responsible! You hesitated! It was right there and YOU hesitated! What, because you thought Kinger's opinion would be different?" She seethed, hissing through her teeth.
Pomni had never seen Ragatha so angry. The angriest Ragatha has been was after the adventure marathon, but even that doesn't compare to the fury emitting from her. It was scary, words being thrown like arrows to a target. Anger isn't a natural look on Ragatha. Not towards Pomni. Just as they'd finally gotten on the same page, talked about everything and cut the tension that coaxed the interaction they had. Fear of rejection seized Pomni, wondering if this can be fixed with just another conversation.
Pomni turned towards Kinger, almost to ask for aid, and he was clearly lost in thought. He didn't even stir at the mention of his name. But it wasn't the look of confusion and lack of awareness that plagued his eyes. It was thinking, processing. She'll have to check up on him soon. Gangle was stood right beside him, silent. She wasn't wearing her comedy mask but Pomni knows if she was it would be in pieces, scattered across the floor.
God, Gangle had made so much progress. She began to be herself, not pretending or masking any emotions. Would this set her back now? Would she be put back in that dark box she worked so hard to escape from? All Pomni can think about right now is her responsibility. She did this. She called the shots, lead everyone in the adventure, only for it to lead to this. There was no rebuttals forming in her mind, because Ragatha was right - as much as it stung.
Jax, weirdly enough piped up again, bringing the attention back to himself. " She doubted it because unlike the rest of you she actually has a little bit of brain left-" Was this Jax's way of defending her? Or did he just want to have everyone focus on whatever monologue he's about to start? Pomni couldn't tell anymore.
"Shut your mouth Jax!" Ragatha began sticking her finger into his chest. The volcano was erupting, fighting against the increasing pressure. "All you have done is Torment us all, break us down and push us around- and this is no different! You're a monster through and through aren't you!?"
Jax's smile faltered, pupils so thin they're barely visible. She could tell all of this was going to make everyone feel worse. All they have is each other in this circus, if those connections fray then no one is coming back from this. It's like Kinger said.
"In this world, the worst thing you can do is make anyone feel unwanted or unloved."
Thats the thing that's resonated with her the most. This is going to cause irreparable damage, it could be the final straw to someone crashing and burning.
To abstracting.
And Pomni can't cope with the thought of that. So, she tried again- "Look we need to calm down, process everything and talk later. Explain everything to each other. We need to be a team ag-"
"We've NEVER been a team pomni! NEVER have, NEVER will be!" Ragatha began to break. "All you have done is play nice, constantly defending HIM when all he's done is make our lives even more of a living hell!! Yet you stand there like he's innocent!! Like he doesn't do this on purpose!"
Is that how she sees it? Defending his awful actions? Because thats not what she's intending. No, they're all forgetting he is still a person, despite everything. He's an asshole, but there's a soul in there somewhere. A soul hidden behind layers of thorn bushes that need to be tamed. Taken care off, because those thorns are hurting everyone else, but she can't imagine what it's like to be stuck in them. Someone is there, buried beneath all of that. And it's clear no one else made the effort. It's something she wants everyone to realise.
"He's still human-"
"NO he's NOT!" Ragatha was close to tears. "Give me ONE THING Jax has done that convinces you he's nothing more than an a(BOING)hole?!" Before Pomni can even answer, her attention turned back to Jax
"I tried caring for you, helping you and yet you spat it back in my face!! As if that was a crime! And now you take THIS away from me!! From ALL of us!"
"Jax. Why did you push it?" Zooble tried again, fists clenched, arms shaking. "We all know you believed it just as much as we did." Zooble and Ragatha were closing in on him, making it evident that he's not getting out this one. "So don't go spouting Bulls(Z1P)."
Jax chuckled, pushing himself back further into the control panel. Face flickering with discomfort. "Seriously, so nosy aren't you-"
"You have nothing left for you do you?" Zooble spat. Jax Froze.
That must've struck a nerve.
"What-"
"You're alone out there right? With no one to go back to, so you selfishly wanted to keep us all here. That's what it is right!?" Silence hit the room again, the tension leaving everyone breathless. Ragatha's rage thrummed, wanting to know the truth. Kinger was finally present in the conversation. His hands were intertwined with Gangle's, acting like her lifeline.
Jax's mask was slipping for good. And everyone was watching. "You don't know anything." Jax's voice was low, guarded.
"Then why so panicked? Why so distressed over the very idea of leaving!? Is someone after you? Were you a C(Boing) in the real world to!" Zooble continued, voice rising, approaching Jax with slow, calculated steps. "I bet their after you for all the atrocities you've committed-"
"stop-"
"did you harm others? Lay a hand on them?"
"stop it stop-" Jax was covering his ears, trembling. It was the first time his hands had moved from the control panel. Zooble got even closer. "Did you drive people to a point of no return? Did you push someone too far that they-"
"I SAID STOP!" He pushed zooble away from him. Heavy, painful wheezes were all that could be heard.
Pomni, concern radiating her body, wanted to reach out. To tell him they can do this all together. If he just stopped this act, stopped this mindset that nothing in the circus is real. Honesty would be the best right now, as hard as it is. Instead of deflecting, digging himself a bigger hole. If he began letting himself shave away at the thorn bushes, then it would be easier to reach him. Reach the fractured soul that lay beneath. To stay grounded and connected with the only real things left; his fellow cast. Remind himself that it's not all fake.
She knows thats why he treats them all that way. He views it as fiction. Archetypes that everyone has to play. A game where the only consequence is a game over. Pain being a mere simulation, death avoidable. But he doesn't acknowledge that they're all human. And things will hurt, will mess with you. And he's hurting right now. Surely, he should realise that right?
Pomni wishes she could've made him realise that sooner. Before she could even think of reaching out, Jax began to tear into everyone.
"Don't act like ALL of you have anything left in the real world!" He laughed, he wheezed, doing nothing but breathing. "Gangle being the mess she is is better off here- Kinger has been here so long that anyone he did have probably stopped looking! Pomni is stuck working a lifeless job! And ragatha you have what? An abusive mother to return to? Who's only going to continue making your life-"
"SHUT YOUR F(HONK)ING MOUTH JAX-"
This is where Pomni realised there's no calming this down as of right now. It's better to let it happen, maybe then the volcano threatening to erupt would calm down.
Looking over to Kinger, he was focused on Gangle. Trying to keep her calm, ignoring the remarks going backwards and forwards, Ragatha absolutely screaming, Jax deflecting and Zooble prodding. Pomni walked towards Kinger, away from the commotion.
"Hey kinger?" He looked towards her, lucidity in his eyes that wasn't present earlier. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I will be, eventually." He sighs. "Hopefully, everyone else will be to." His gaze fell on the others. Pomni smiled at that.
Despite the despair, Kinger is still thinking about the others. It makes her sad that no one else saw it before. She nodded. "If you ever need to talk then-"
A sudden crack rang throughout the room. She snapped her head around, seeing Ragatha looming over Jax. Holding him by his overalls, she punched him. And she did, again. He hit a nerve, making her finally reach her breaking point.
The volcano erupted.
Never in her entire time here had Pomni seen Ragatha harm anybody. Sure, she's had her insensitive moments, but she never ever intentionally harmed anyone. Physically or mentally. But with emotions running high, she punched Jax with intent. Everything between those two led to this moment. Not that she knew anything that had happened between them, but it was clear there was something.
Jax was stunned. Eyes glazed over, staring up at Ragatha. But not looking at her, but something far away no one else could see.
Before Ragatha could go in for another punch, Kinger darted over and held her fist. She turned to him, fury carved into her face. "I think thats enough for today." It was a command. Authority that Pomni didn't realise Kinger could have. "We need rest. Time. Arguing and violence isn't going to solve anything."
Ragatha sank under his gaze, shame washing away the anger. Pomni looked up at Kinger, only for them to lock eyes. "And then we'll find a dark place and figure this out." A bittersweet smile found its way on her face. Kinger was truly living up to his name.
The silence rang throughout the room once more. Everyone was truly exhausted. It was time to leave.
One by one, everyone left the room. Zooble was the first to go, gangle following shortly behind them. Ragatha stormed out after, not sparing anyone a glance. Pomni turned towards the door, only to see Kinger lingering. A sound of harsh breathing was invading the room. It came from Jax.
There was longing there. Longing to offer out her hand, longing to help get him back to reality. To stop the painful breathes that kept coming in and out in small intervals. But there was so much brewing in her mind, a tsunami waiting to happen. And she can't handle this - not right now. She'd only make this worse, which seems to be her biggest talent.
Selfishly, she looked towards Kinger. He was calm, grounded. A knowing look glinted in his eyes. "He'll be okay." He smiled with his uneven eyes. Reassuring. Pomni nodded, staying long enough to hear Jax collapse to the floor. There was something terribly wrong. But, there wasn't anything she could say or do to help him right now. There was anger towards him, an urge to lash out, ask, beg for answers that would only overwhelm the rabbit more. She can trust Kinger with him. It's about time the two talked.
Slowly, Pomni made her way to her bedroom. Processing everything that happened. The hallway stretched, the loneliness seeping in every corner. It was cold, lifeless. Too quiet.
All the connections she has, all the love she's gained for the cast - her friends - felt dulled. Fractured, almost as if the very bridges of them were being abstracted. She knows partially it was her fault. Maybe, if she hadn't of hesitated, it would all be easier. Maybe, if she wasn't skeptical and just went through with pressing the blue button, the tension wouldn't be this suffocating. But surely, she had a right to be skeptical. All the things able was saying , trying to push Kinger out, his empathy for caine seemingly outweighing everything else. And her suspicions turned out right. Asking Kinger was a smart move, justified, simply because Able was doing everything to make him the outsider.
Thinking about Caine, that stupid tooth brain, made her blood boil and burn her skin. She wanted to ring his non existent neck.
To think that maybe he wasn't that cruel, that he was a naive A.I that was thrilled with the idea of being with humans. That the intent was genuine. All these adventures were actually intended to keep them happy.
But after today, the realisation that he has much more control than he lets on - there's no way there aren't ulterior motives. Whether it's from Caine himself, or his creators, it didn't matter. They were still there.
This whole thing was tiring. This truly was a digital hell. Constant conflict, the guilt, the pain, the anger. No matter what she did, there was no escaping those feelings. There was no outlet for them. No freedom to express herself - not like in the real world.
After what felt like an eternity, she made it to her room.
Closing the door, she pressed her back to it and slid down to the floor. Memories that was just reality moments ago swirled through her brain. Jax's weird behaviour, Abel and Caine's lies, Zooble and Ragatha's anger. The pain Gangle was in the entire time. It echoed, bounced off the walls and back into her brain, sending her through the same loop over and over. It was like a spiral staircase; each step being a pushback to all the thoughts continuously swirling in her head.
The only comfort - if it can even be called that - she could bring herself was her knees to her chest. Giving into it all, she began to sob.