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It all starts with a bet.
See, it works like this: when they're at a hotel, they get two rooms with two beds each. About ninety-nine percent of the time, Pete and Patrick share one room and Andy and Joe get the other, though Andy and Joe know that Pete and Patrick definitely only use one of their beds.
So the bet is as such: Andy wants Joe to decide to "change rooms" in the middle of the night and sleep in the unoccupied bed in Pete and Patrick's room. For two hundred bucks.
Joe, of course, immediately accepts this offer. Honestly, what could go wrong?
A lot, apparently.
They all have a key to each other's rooms in case of emergency (which Pete had been disappointed to learn did not consist of zombies), so Joe just has to unlock Pete and Patrick's room, go in, say he wants to "give Andy some privacy", and take a bed.
It's simple in theory, but in theory not all factors are considered.
Factors such as Joe walking in on Pete and Patrick making out on the farthest bed from the door.
Joe freezes with his hand on the doorknob, staring at the spectacle he's walked in on. He doesn't think he's been noticed yet. He could still just leave.
Two hundred dollars! His brain unhelpfully reminds him.
He clears his throat.
Pete and Patrick look up, suddenly aware of Joe's presence in the room, looking like deer caught in the headlights.
"I was just." Joe begins, unsure of what to say. This was a bad idea. "I wanted to use your other bed. To. Give Andy some privacy." The lie doesn't slip out as easily as planned.
"Oh." Patrick says, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, you...go ahead."
And that's when it happens.
Pete makes eye contact with Joe, smirks devilishly, and asks, "Why not this bed?"
Fuck, Joe is in way too deep.
~*~
Joe wakes up tangled in limbs and it takes him a moment to remember where he is. He traces his memory back to the night before. He made a bet, walked in on Pete and Patrick making out like their lives depended on it, and then...shit.
Joe forces his eyes open against the sliver of light coming through the curtains and takes in his surroundings. He's currently in bed, with Pete and Patrick wrapped lazily around him, both still asleep. They're all still wearing clothes, thank god, but something still happened last night that Joe would rather not think about.
The other bed, ironically, remains untouched.
Pete starts to stir at this point, a movement which ends with his face buried in Joe's neck, and Joe shifts uncomfortably. Pete blinks his eyes open at this, and smirks again when he sees Joe's confused face.
"Morning!" He says, sounding way too cheery about it.
"What the fuck, man?" Joe asks, pushing Pete off of him, which doesn't work too well because the bed barely has enough room for three people anyway, so there's still an uncomfortable amount of touching.
Patrick starts to wake up on Joe's other side, mumbling something unintelligible as he does.
After what seems like a lot of consideration, Pete finally answers. "I think you know exactly what happened."
"Yes, and I want out of here!" Joe hisses, and Patrick shifts against his side, yawning and blinking his eyes open.
"You...really?" Pete looks actually kind of hurt by this, as if he really expected Joe to want to stay.
"I-" Joe begins, but he's interrupted by Patrick mumbling something else unintelligible.
He turns to face Patrick, who seems to be gauging his face, deciding what to do. What to do apparently seems to be to say, "You really want to leave?"
Fuck, Joe can't say no to Patrick. Especially when Patrick also looks hurt. What did he get himself into?
He takes a deep breath and asks, slowly, carefully, "Is staying an option?"
Pete and Patrick share a look, and then Patrick says, with certainty, "Yes."
Joe takes a deep breath, looking between Pete and Patrick, calculating his words. "And...if I stay...what does that mean?"
There's a small uncomfortable silence before Pete speaks up and says, "Well, I guess it would mean you'd be dating us."
Joe really needs to learn to stop making bets.
"That." He starts, then stops. "You'd really...both be okay with that?"
He asks that because Pete and Patrick are already together, have been for who knows how long, and he really doesn't want to ruin that, doesn't want to intrude uninvited.
"Yes." Pete says, nodding with finality.
"Yeah." Patrick agrees, a little quieter and seeming a little less sure, but affirmative nonetheless.
"Oh." Joe breathes out. He could say yes. He could also say no. There's a lot of ways this could go. But, almost against his will, the words slips off his tongue. "Yes. Yes, I'd. That would be good."
"That would be good?" Pete asks, laughing a little bit.
Joe clears his throat nervously. "I mean, it would...well, I wouldn't mind-"
He's cut off there because because Pete is suddenly kissing him, and Patrick tightens his hold around his waist, and Joe wonders if maybe he should make more bets after all.
~*~
The next week is one of the craziest of Joe's life.
It's still taking him a while to come to terms with the fact that Pete and Patrick are actually his boyfriends, mostly because the way he agreed to that was questionable at least. But it's working out.
When no one's around, they'll all kiss or cuddle or just talk, and either way it's pretty damn awesome. (At least in Joe's professional opinion, as written in his totally real book, Joe Trohman's Guide To Having Two Boyfriends.) So really, it seems like it's going pretty well.
Except for one thing: the kind of crucial fact that Pete and Patrick were already dating for at least a year (Joe still isn't quite sure) before Joe became a part of the equation. And hey, you can't blame him for feeling bad about it. Sometimes he thinks they're better off without him. Other times he's getting kissed on both cheeks, at the same time, and really doesn't have the motivation to think about that.
It still feels off, though.
~*~
It culminates one night about a week after the betting incident.
The time comes for another hotel night, and Joe is kind of nervous, because he's supposed to room with Andy, but now he kind of has two boyfriends he'd rather be with. He'll have to talk his way out of it.
"Hey, Andy?" He asks, planning his words carefully.
"Yeah?" Andy asks, looking up from something on his phone.
"Is it okay if I...um...stay in Pete and Patrick's room again?" Joe asks slowly.
"I don't care." Andy shrugs. "Just know I'm not giving you another two hundred bucks to do it."
"Yeah." Joe nods, wondering if that was too easy. "I know."
It's not like he's doing it for more money anyway.
~*~
When Joe slides the keycard and opens the door, he's greeted with Pete and Patrick already cuddled up together in bed. That's when the world comes crashing down on him. Look at them! They're doing perfectly fine without him, he could just leave and they wouldn't notice. He shouldn't be here. He has to go.
This, unfortunately, is exactly when Pete and Patrick notice that he's walked in, so they look up in unison to see him staring in what Amy be horror. Shit.
"Joe, are you okay?" Patrick asks, and there's so much worry in his voice, but Joe doesn't feel capable of thinking about that right now.
In fact, he doesn't even feel capable of talking to them.
So he runs.
He's back in Andy's room, where he's supposed to be, with the door slammed shut behind him, in all of ten seconds. Andy, currently busy with watching some Food Network show, looks up at Joe, concern written across his face.
"Joe? Is everything okay?" He asks, shifting on his bed to face Joe fully. "I thought you were staying in Pete and Patrick's room."
"I...I don't..." Joe isn't sure what he's about it say. He doesn't know what he even wants to say.
"Did something happen with Pete and Patrick?" Andy asks slowly.
Joe opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. Words are not coming easily to him tonight.
"Is that a yes?" Andy asks. Joe can only nod. Andy just sighs and pats the space next to him. "C'mere."
Joe does. You just don't argue with Andy. He sits down, and Andy looks him in the eyes, a calculating look on his face.
"Joe..." He begins. "Can you tell me what's happening?"
Joe doesn't expect words to get past his lips, but suddenly he's rushing out a torrent of them, barely understandable even to him. "I...I don't know what's going on, they asked me out, I think, and I said yes and now we're dating but they've already been dating for so long and I don't know if I should even be there and I think I'm just invading their privacy and-" he takes a deep breath "-fuck."
Andy blinks, looking as if he's taking in all of what Joe just said. Joe considers for a moment that maybe he's about to say something about how Joe shouldn't be dating two people in the first place, but instead Andy just says, simply, "If they asked you out, I'd say they want you there."
Joe bites his lip. Yes, that does seem to be good logic that he's been missing. However, his brain betrays him and he chokes out a sob and whispers, "I feel like the third wheel..."
Andy gets a sympathetic look on his face (sympathy for what, Joe wonders) and sighs. "Hey. I'm going to say it again. I know Pete and Patrick, and they would not ask someone out if they didn't really mean it." He cracks a small smile. "You just need to tell them what's up, not me. They're probably really worried about you right now, y'know."
Joe knows he's right, he really does. He sighs. "Okay. Okay, yeah. That makes sense."
Andy laughs. "I'm glad it does. Then do it!"
Joe gives him a small smile back. "Yeah, okay. I will."
It's easier said than done.
He stands with the keycard hovering above the slot for over a minute, afraid to walk in. Finally he gets the courage to open the door.
Pete and Patrick are sitting on the edge of one bed, talking in hushed voices, and Patrick looks like he's been crying, fuck. Joe feels really bad. He fucked up.
The two look up when Joe enters the room, but don't show a visible reaction. Joe clears his throat.
"Sorry." He says quietly. He's not sure what else to say.
Patrick blinks at him, causing a few stray tears to slide down his cheeks, then speaks, voice hushed. "I...was this a bad idea? Do you not like this? You could have just said-"
"No!" Joe cuts him off. "That's literally the opposite of what's going on!"
"Then what is it?" Pete speaks up, his voice laced with confusion.
"I..." Joe moves to sit down on the bed across from Pete and Patrick. He takes a deep breath. "You two were already together before me. I...I don't know if I should be here. If I'm intruding. If I'm...if I'm just a third wheel."
He watches Pete and Patrick's reactions. They both look horrified. He isn't sure why, but he's sure they'll explain.
"Joe, you're not..." Pete sighs. "You're really not a third wheel. We want you here! We wouldn't have asked you to stay that morning if we didn't!"
Joe laughs dryly, because that's exactly what Andy told him. He's an idiot. "I'm...I'm sorry, I just...I came in earlier and you two were already together and...I don't know. You seemed happy without me."
"Joe, you're an idiot." Patrick says bluntly. "We were literally talking about when you were going to show up!"
"Oh." Joe mutters, feeling embarrassed. "I...I shouldn't have assumed, I guess."
"Yeah." Patrick mutters, and the twinge of anger in his voice hurts Joe's heart. But then Patrick speaks again, voice devoid of anger. "Do...do you still want to be here?"
"Yes." Joe answers without hesitation. "God, yes."
"Good." Patrick says, and then they're kissing, and Joe is very pleased with the outcome of this.
Patrick pulls him across the gap between the beds, causing him to tumble right into both Pete and Patrick, and they all sprawl back onto the bed in a pile of tangled limbs.
"Of course you should be here." Pete says quietly, so quietly that Joe barely hears it, and he smiles.
He really should.