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High school wasn’t supposed to be a breeze, Ivan knew that. The boy never got his hopes up, he never had high expectations. Though, this didn’t matter to him, since he had his best friend by his side. The two had been friends since they were young. Living in the same neighborhood, it was bound for Till to find Ivan alone at the swings. Ever since then Ivan stuck to the grey-haired boy like glue. Now it was their second year of high school. The two weren’t as close as they used to be, but still somewhat close none the less. Who knows what the cause of their drift was? It either could’ve been Till throwing himself in his studies, or Ivan slowly distancing himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~
8:00 AM
Ivan stared down at his desk. Hateful words scribbled in black marker covered the wooden table from corner to corner. Ivan examined the vandalism.
“Ungrateful”
“Slut”
“Whore”
“Kill Yourself”
“Nepo Baby”
Words overlapped each other. Ivan gazed at the writing blankly before finding a rag and scrubbing the taunts away.
‘Did they really have to go this far? All because I told some 3rd year I wasn’t interested?’
People around Ivan whispered. Ivan knew the indiscreet muttering was about him, but what could he do about it? The guy Ivan rejected happened to be crazy popular, and it’s not Ivan’s fault that this senior’s first confession was directed towards Ivan. Despite Ivan’s lack of ill intentions, this senior’s admirers still decided to torment Ivan.
‘I can’t have Till find out… I don’t want to distract him’
Ivan finished cleaning his desk. He sat with his head hidden within his arms. Ivan felt the gaze of others in the room burning all over his body, judging him. The whispers turned into chatter after the kids lost interest in the pitiful sight of Ivan. As the room flooded in with students, Ivan subtly peaked out of his arms at the sound of 3 familiar voices. Till had just arrived at school, and was already accompanied by Ivan’s twin sister, Sua, and her girlfriend, Mizi. Ivan felt his lips twitch up into a smile when he caught a glimpse of the grey-haired boy. The 3 naturally swarmed to Ivan’s desk when they saw the slumped figure over the table. The black-haired boy stared up at them with a tired smile.
“Good morning…!” Ivan spoke in a soft voice.
“You good there?” Sua questioned.
Ivan forced a small laugh. “Yeah, I just stayed up all night studying again”
“Im gonna start forcing you to sleep if you don’t quit that” Sua spat out with concern.
Ivan just laughed her off. The bell rang shortly after, and class began. Though the teacher was giving a lecture, Ivan wasn’t listening. The boy’s mind trailed off to less trivial matter as he stared out the window. The first half of the school day passed slowly for Ivan. It was now lunch, and Ivan found himself on the roof top. The boy stared up at the blue sky.
“There you are”
The soft voice caught Ivan’s attention, and his eyes immediately snapped to where the voice came from. A smile fell upon Ivan’s lips as he watched Till approach him.
“What’re you doin up here?” Till smiled as he joined Ivan in leaning on the railing.
“Cloud watching”
“Did you eat yet?”
Ivan’s smile widened before wrapping an arm around Till’s shoulder.
“Awe~ are you worried about me?”
“Can you just answer seriously for once?!”
Till’s feigned anger immediately depleted when he saw the presence of a decently sized bruise on the side of Ivan’s neck.
“What- Ivan, what is this…?” Till gently grazed Ivan’s neck. “Did your dad-?”
Ivan suddenly took hold of Till’s wrist and pulled him away. Ivan’s smile dropped and his eyes held a cold gaze for a second, before he put on that fake smile again.
“Don’t worry about me Till. Im fine”
“This doesn’t look fine! You know you can always stay over at my house if you need-”
“-Till…! Please, just focus on your studies and don’t worry about me.”
Till looked at the taller boy with conflicted emotions.
“How can you say that?! How can you tell me not to worry, when everyday you look worse and worse?! Stop being selfish and just let me help!”
Ivan stared at the shorter boy with the same plastered smile, his snaggletooth digging into his bottom lip.
“I don't need any help…”
Till was taken aback before frustration grew evident in his face. The shorter one scoffed before storming off back into the building. Ivan was left alone once again. The boy stared down into the courtyard from above, wind blowing through his jacket and hair. Ivan felt his chest tighten as he replayed the conversation in his head. His vision grew blurry as small tears fell from his eyes, down his cheeks, and over the edge of the building. Ivan wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, while more tears poured out.
“Ah shit”
There was a strong force pushed against Ivan’s back. Ivan went flying forward. The only thing stopping Ivan from falling off the edge of the building was the small metal railing. Ivan gripped tightly onto the rail as his stomach slammed into the top bar. The boy let out a strained couch. A hand crept behind Ivan’s head, and fingers entangled his hair. Ivan’s head was forced back towards his assaulter.
“What do we have here?”
Ivan remained silent. The black-haired boy’s expression contorted with the pain of his hair being pulled. His assaulter grew agitated with that lack of response from Ivan. The hand in Ivan’s hair gripped tighter and pulled back abruptly, forcing Ivan’s whole body back. Ivan let out a soft grunt before he was turned and thrown to the ground towards the railing again. Hitting the floor with a hard thud, Ivan looked up at his tormentors through his black bangs. The main assaulter gave Ivan a sinister smile before looking at another tall student. Now that Ivan could look at the 2 who were harassing him, Ivan could guess these guys were third years. The boy who had Ivan by the hair was the shortest of the two. He looked like nothing special, just another average high school student. The taller one had a handsome face. He looked maybe an inch or 2 taller than Ivan, which was impressive since Ivan was quite tall for his age. Thinking back, Ivan had seen this taller boy walk out of the art club room while waiting for Till one time. The taller one acknowledged his partner's look and approached the boy on the floor. Ivan stared up with no energy to fight back. The tall boy took hold of Ivan’s hair and slammed his head back against the railing. Ivan felt the throbbing pain grow intensely in the back of his head.
“You deserve this”
Ivan didn’t respond. The tall boy swung a heavy fist at Ivan’s face. His fist landed on Ivan’s cheek, causing Ivan’s head to violently turn to the left. The two boys left Ivan after that. Ivan sat silently looking at his left hand as his other hand cradled his throbbing cheek. The bell rang, but Ivan remained slumped against the railing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8:15 AM
Till arrived at the school gates. He had been running later than usual. The grey-haired boy was on a mission to find his best friend, and yell at him for not stopping by to wake him up. On his way to their homeroom class he ran into Sua and Mizi. The two girls were on their way to the classroom from the choir club. Mizi was the vice president, while Sua only joined to be with Mizi.
“Mizi! Sua! Hold up!”
Till changed his shoes quickly and caught up to the two who were waiting for him at the end of the lockers.
“You’re later than normal,” Mizi commented.
“Yeah, I was up working on an assignment. And Ivan’s dumbass didn’t even bother to come by to wake me”
Sua chimed in. “I didn’t even see Ivan this morning. He left way before me”
“That’s weird…”
Mizi agreed with Till.
The three of them made it to the class. Till’s eyes, without fail, fell on the top of Ivan’s head. Ivan was slumped over his desk. When the slumped boy peaked, their eyes met. Till felt his heart give a small flutter at that smile, and suddenly all that anger from earlier was forgotten. The grey-haired boy examined his friend’s face. The three that walked in shared a small look of concern when looking over the seated boy. Ivan’s eyes were sunken in, his eye bags had noticeably gotten darker, and his hair was curly when he normally would straighten it. The boy greeted them like normal. Sua was the one to speak up.
“You good there?”
Ivan laughed “Yeah, I just stayed up all night studying again”
“Im gonna start forcing you to sleep if you don’t quit that”
Till noticed Ivan’s lack of humor and response to his sister. Concern only grew in Till as he observed Ivan in the morning classes. Ivan seemed more spaced out than normal.
The bell for lunch rang. Till looked over towards Ivan’s desk, but Ivan was nowhere to be found. Till asked around. He noticed that other students were reluctant to talk about Ivan, which Till found strange. Till discovered that Ivan left as soon as the bell rang. The grey-haired boy searched the halls vigorously, until he made his way to the rooftop. Upon opening the door to the roof he saw the tall familiar figure leaned against the railing. Ivan was looking up towards the sky. Till felt his heart skip a beat as he gazed upon the boy in front of him. The boy didn’t wear that smile he was known for. His black eyes were pointed to the sky, but Till could tell that his mind was elsewhere.
“There you are”
When Ivan snapped out of his trance and looked at Till with a genuine smile, Till couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of love for this boy.
“What’re you doin up here?”
“Cloud watching”
Till looked deeply into Ivan’s eyes. He admired the small bit of red hidden with the black of Ivan’s eyes. A feature only noticeable when close up, or intensely examined. Till’s eyes then flitted towards Ivan’s warm smile. The shorter boy adored Ivan’s imperfect smile and snaggletooth.
“Did you eat yet?”
Ivan wrapped his arm around Till’s neck. Till felt his face grow hotter.
“Awe~ are you worried about me?”
“Can you just answer seriously for once?!”
Till’s “anger” immediately dropped when he saw the bruise on Ivan’s neck.
‘That wasn’t there yesterday’
“What- Ivan, what is this…?” Till made sure to be as gentle as possible when he grazed Ivan’s neck. “Did your dad-?”
Ivan suddenly grabbed Till’s wrist, which startled the shorter boy.
“Don’t worry about me Till. Im fine”
Till couldn’t believe the words coming out of Ivan’s mouth.
“This doesn’t look fine! You know you can always stay over at my house if you need-”
“-Till…! Please, just focus on your studies and don’t worry about me.”
Till was taken aback. At a loss for words. How could Till not worry about Ivan? All Till ever did was worry about Ivan. Till felt his heart sink to his stomach at the thought of what could be happening to the one he loved.
“How can you say that?! How can you tell me not to worry, when everyday you look worse and worse?! Stop being selfish and just let me help!”
There was a small pause before Ivan responded.
“I don't need any help…”
Till was left dumbfounded. He grew frustrated. Not at Ivan, but at the fact that he couldn’t do anything to help Ivan. Without another word Till stormed off. As he walked down the stairs he passed a pair of boys going to the rooftop. Till was lost in his thoughts. Although he regretted leaving Ivan the way he did, Till was just too frustrated to have a decent conversation with Ivan at the moment. The bell rang, signaling lunch was over. Till found his way back to the classroom, but Ivan wasn’t at his desk. Till sat down, but his anxiety grew as the class progressed without Ivan.
‘Calm down. He probably just went home early’
Even though Till was trying to convince himself everything was fine, his leg kept bouncing against the floor anxiously.
-------------------
The final bell rang, and Till managed to get out of his club activities. Till didn’t wait for anyone, and immediately found his way to Ivan and Sua’s house. Till knocked. No answer. Again. No answer. Again. Ivan’s father opened the door.
“Who the hell- Oh. Hello Till.”
“Hi Mr Unsha, is Ivan home”
“He’s up in his room”
Unsha stepped aside to let Till in. Till gave a courteous bow before hurriedly taking his shoes off and rushing up the stairs. He gently opened the door, and his eyes fell upon the lump under the blankets on the bed. Till felt his body relax when he finally saw Ivan. The boy walked over and sat by Ivan’s sleeping form. Ivan was laying on his right side, his face buried in the pillow. Till couldn’t help but smile at the sight. The boy gently pushed the other’s black hair back and planted a kiss on his temple. Till then got up and left the room. He said his goodbyes to Ivan and Sua’s parents before leaving to go to sleep in his own house.
~~~~~~~~~~
As the rest of the school was in class, Ivan took the opportunity to slip away without detection. The beaten boy staggered home. The house was empty, as both his parents were still at work. Ivan reheated leftovers and brought them to his room, where he finished some assignments before laying down.
Ivan must’ve fallen asleep, because suddenly he became aware of a weight in his bed that wasn’t there before. The boy kept his eyes closed. Despite not seeing who was in his room, Ivan had a good idea of who it was by the faint smell of their cologne. Ivan felt the weight shift as Till’s arm propped himself over Ivan’s body. Calloused fingers grazed Ivan’s forehead and pushed his bangs back. Gently a soft pair of lips pressed against Ivan’s temple. Ivan felt his face heat up as the weight left the bed. The boy peaked and saw familiar grey hair retreating from Ivan’s room. The beaten boy sat up and stared at himself in the mirror. His face was a flushed shade of red. Ivan felt the place where Till’s lips met, and he was dumbfounded.
‘Did- Did Till really just kiss me…?’
Ivan fell back in his bed and began giddily rolling around.
-----------------
Morning came and Ivan barely got any sleep from all his excitement, and he decided to stay home for the day.
~~~~~~~~~~~
7:50 AM
Till was already dressed and out the door. He walked down the road, but only found Sua and Mizi waiting.
“Where’s Ivan”
Sua responded. “He wasn’t feeling well”
“I see.”
Till felt exhilarated at the thought of being able to take care of Ivan after school. The three of them walked to school, casually conversing. The two girls split off from Till to head to the student council room, Sua was the president after all. Till headed to the class room and was confused when he saw some randoms crowded around Ivan’s desk. The grey-haired boy shoved through the crowd.
“What’s going on?”
Till’s pupils shrunk at the state of Ivan’s desk. Disgusting words were being written all over. The marker was being passed around, each person adding to the string of slurs and insults. Someone passed the marker to Till. Till stared at the small black writing utensil. He felt his fist clench up into a ball; and before he could think, Till’s fist went flying at the boy who held the marker.
Mizi and Sua came running to the classroom at the sound of the commotion. Upon their arrival, they were greeted with the sight of Till shouting curses at the whole class while being held back by two teachers. Mizi asked a student what happened, and the two were informed about everything that was happening with Ivan and Till blowing up. Till was dragged away by the teachers, and suspended for 3 days.
Till didn’t bother in knowing what the bullies’ punishment was, because Till could guess that they got away with what they did. The grey-haired boy didn’t care about that anymore, he immediately left school and ran to the store to pick up some medications. He found himself in Ivan’s house again, and made his way to Ivan’s room. Till set the bag of medicine on Ivan’s night stand before sitting on the bed. He gently held Ivan’s chin and turned his face to examine it. Now Till saw the result of Ivan’s tormentors. A big red and purple bruise colored Ivan’s, now swollen, right cheek. The boy felt his heart chatter at the sight. He tenderly rubbed his thumb across Ivan’s battered cheek.
“Ivan” Till purred
“Ivan wake up please…”
Two black orbs met Till’s teal eyes. Till admired the soft red glint within Ivan’s eyes.
“Till…? What’re you doing here?” Ivan questioned
Till didn’t know what to say. Till’s body draped over Ivan’s and his arms slowly wrapped around Ivan’s neck, burying his face in the crook of Ivan’s neck. Ivan was shocked.
“Till…”
There was a moment of silence. Till felt like he could hear his own heart beat.
“I know…- about the bullying”
Till felt Ivan’s body stiffen. Another pause.
“Who told you…?”
“No one. Some assholes were vandalising your desk”
Ivan hid his face within Till’s shoulder, his body began to shake subtly. Till comforted Ivan by caressing his hair.
“Why didn’t you tell me…?”
Ivan was now crying, the tears seeping through Till’s shirt.
“I didn’t want to bother you…”
“When have you ever truly been a bother? I know I act annoyed, but you know I don’t really think you’re annoying, right?”
Ivan fell silent and held onto Till’s shirt tighter.
“Im sorry for not noticing”
Ivan shook his head. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing”
“Yes I am, because I didn’t realize how much you were suffering. I called you selfish, when really I was the one being selfish.”
Till lifted his head and gently forced Ivan to look at him. Their eyes met, and Ivan’s eyes truly looked like the night’s sky with the reflection of the lights complimenting his black irises. Till couldn’t help himself. Looking at the boy he’s adored for so long, Till gazed at Ivan’s quivering lips before leaning in and softly pressing his own against them. Ivan’s eyes widened then he slowly melted into the kiss. The moment lasted only a few heart beats, but it felt like eternity. Till’s teal eyes stared down at Ivan’s black eyes. Ivan looked away in embarrassment, and Till couldn’t help but laugh at Ivan’s shyness.
“What does this mean…?” Ivan muttered.
Till looked confused for a second before laughing again.
“It means that I like- no, I love you. I have for a long time”
Ivan covered his reddening face. Till placed a whisper of a kiss on Ivan’s knuckles.
“You’re answer?”
Ivan took a deep breath.
“Was it not obvious that I love you too?”
“It was, but I wanted to hear it from you”
Ivan revealed his face and cupped Till's jaw, gently pulling him closer.
“I love you too”
Ivan then compassionately pulled Till into a kiss.
-----------------
Sua went home with Mizi after a long day at school. The black haired girl cautiously knocked on her brother’s door.
“Ivan?”
“Come in”
Till and Ivan were laying under the covers cuddled up next to each other. Ivan’s head rested on Till’s chest as the both watched on Till’s phone. Sua paused, surprised by the sight in front of her. It wasn’t abnormal for these two to cuddle, but they seemed closer in a romantic way.
“What’s this?”
Ivan perked up. “Oh yeah, me and Till are dating now”
Sua blinked twice, then suddenly Mizi sprung forward. The pink haired girl jumped on top of the two.
“Im so happy for you guys!”
Sua decided not to question how it happened. She trusted Till to take care of Ivan anyways, given the scene he had created at school for Ivan’s sake.
“Good news or bad news?”
“Bad” Till set down his phone.
“Bad news: Since there were so many kids involved, the admin and student council can’t really do anything about the bullies individually.”
Till felt his blood boil at the thought of those assholes getting away with what they did.
“Good news: If anybody tries to bully Ivan in anyway, they will be immediately expelled; no questions asked”
Till felt his shoulders relax at that. The grey-haired boy subconsciously pulled Ivan the slightest bit closer. Ivan noticed Till’s edge and planted a small kiss on his cheek.
“You really don’t have to worry anymore. I promise I'm okay now”
Till smiled at Ivan.“Okay, I believe you”
Till then kissed the top of Ivan’s head. Mizi gave them a big hug, and Sua ended up joining them in the bed. The 4 of them ended up falling asleep together watching a movie.