Chapter Text
August 19th, 1989 - 1:55 PM - Wheeler House
The photo of El stared back at Mike as his eyes focused on the details of her face.
She was 13 in the photo, and Mike knew it had been the best time of her life. He wished he had treated her better, not only at that time but all the time.
She had been gone for almost two years and Mike’s grief had started to subside, but the guilt persisted. He thought back to the day he told her how he truly felt. That he was… different.
The way he described it to her had been painfully similar to the way Will described it. Only Will had the courage to tell everyone. Mike couldn’t even fully get the words out to one person.
El had been gracious about it. She promised Mike that, when this was all over, they would sit and talk about it. At a time where they could focus on themselves and navigate life like normal people, she would listen. And she understood… even though Mike knew she didn’t. Not fully.
He regretted not being able to tell her why. Because he did love her, but it ate him up inside that it wasn’t the way she wanted him to. The way he desperately wanted to.
He thought back to sitting on the rooftop of the WSQK, late October of 1987. He was a stuttering mess and couldn’t quite put the words together, but El helped him. She knew, at that point, that their relationship wasn’t one that you take with you into adulthood. After spending so much time with Joyce and Hopper, that much became clear to her.
But, Will.
Back then, Mike thought it was just him. Then, in the midst of all the chaos, Will told a room full of people how he felt. Who he was. It was beautiful, and it gave Mike hope.
Hope that he could do the same. Hope that Will could see him in a romantic light one day. Maybe he could at least get the words out to El, she would be there and she would understand.
Only she wasn’t here. And Mike had spent too much time missing her and let Will go without realizing it.
He always thought Will would be next to him, and his heart dropped the day he announced he would be going to Pratt Institute at the end of the summer.
‘He was never mine. I have no reason to be upset. He’s leaving, and I deserve it. I wasn’t there for him. I missed my chance.’
He was haunted by the fact that things could’ve been different. They should’ve been different. But Mike’s hope died with El.
Though the party found comfort in his story, that El got away and found the waterfalls, Mike knew it wasn’t true. He knew she was gone, and with her, the small bit of truth about himself that he tried to reveal to her.
‘That truth will never be known by anyone but her.’ And it was killing him.